


WTFockdown 2.0

by herilaveur



Series: Just to love and be loved in return [1]
Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:28:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 60
Words: 105,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27282673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur
Summary: "As of Sunday midnight, the country is once again confined until December 13th with a possible revision on December 1st. The vacations will be extended. Classes will restart on November 12, but high schools and colleges will remain closed and classes will be given by videoconference.''Robbe's anxiety immediately seized him. Sander has said an incredible number of times that he could not stand another lockdown, going so far as to tell Robbe that next time they would be locked up together. Robbe did not say anything because he thought that would never happen...But when it does happen: how can he tell the love of his life that they can't stay together? Is Sander right and can they stay together?
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Series: Just to love and be loved in return [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2080344
Comments: 536
Kudos: 417





	1. It begins again

**Author's Note:**

> The time of re-confinement has arrived in France...and I wanted to imagine Robbe and Sander living that too...
> 
> (I hope I wouldn't bring bad luck to Belgium). edit : I just saw that belgium was returning to lockdown on monday. 
> 
> Wherever you are in the world: good luck in the face of this new epidemic wave and take care of yourself and your loved ones.

_''As of Sunday midnight, the country is once again confined until December 13th with a possible revision on December 1st. The vacations will be extended. Classes will restart on November 12, but high schools and colleges will remain closed and classes will be given by videoconference.''_

This is the only thing that Robbe retains from the speech. They have to start again. One month. They will have to start again for one month. His mother sighs on the couch before looking at him.

''It's going to be all right, big boy. As long as we're together, we'll be okay, right?"

Robbe knows she's trying to reassure herself. It was really hard for her to stay locked up the first time. So Robbe smiles at her and puts his hand on her forearm.

''Of course, Mom. We're going to be able to do DVD nights again and try out new recipes. Don't worry, okay?"

His mother smiles at him before refocusing on the rest of the speech. Robbe pulls out his phone, surprised that he hasn't received any messages from Sander yet. 

But the guys have already sent several, laughing at Aaron's blue balls. And frankly, it might be funny if Robbe wasn't already worried about Sander. He already said several times that he couldn't stand another lockdown. He said several times that if it happened again, he would confine with Robbe, and Robbe didn't say anything because he really thought it wouldn't happen, but he already knew that it would be impossible.

The doorbell at the front door startled him and as the door opened at the same time, Robbe know it's him. His mother told him to come in without ringing the bell, as if he were at home, so Sander rings the bell but doesn't wait for someone to tell him to come in.

''Hi Nathalie, sorry to come unannounced, but''

Sander obviously cried, his voice is sad and Robbe almost jumps over the sofa to give him a hug.

''We go to my room, Mom, okay?''

''No problem. Don't worry, Sander, it'll be fine."

Sander bursts into tears and Robbe pulls him into his bedroom, knowing full well that he hates it when someone sees him vulnerable like that. 

''It's going to be okay, babe. Don't worry about it. It's probably just for a month."

Sander shakes his head, trying to dry his tears.

''I can't do it, Robin. I could never do it again. It was too hard, I couldn't be locked up at home again. I don't want to be away from you that long. What if it lasts longer? How could I celebrate St. Nicholas' Day without you? What about Christmas? What about New Year's Eve?"

''Oh-oh, calm down. He said it could end on December 1st. And if not, we'll celebrate St. Nicolas a little late. The important thing is to be safe, Sander. Shhttt, come here."

Robbe gently rocks him back and forth because he knows it always calms Sander. He kisses his hair several times because it calms himself. He hates seeing Sander like that, so insecure, and it's even worse when he knows there's nothing he can do to help him.

"You can do it, Sander. I know you think you can't, but you can do it."

Sander shakes his head, his brown hair tickling Robbe's nose.

''No. I don't want to, Robin. I want to be confined with you. I know you won't want to come to my house, but we could go to Milan' apartment ? I'm sure he would accept, he would even be happy. He keeps saying that your bedroom is still waiting for you there."

Robbe sighs sadly, not wanting to break Sander's heart, but he has no choice.

''No, sorry, but I can't leave my mother alone. I'm sorry.''

Sander nods gently and steps back so he can look Robbe in the eye.

''What if I stayed here with you? I promise I wouldn't listen to Bowie too loud. I could do the cooking. I'll be as quiet as I can be.''

Robbe shakes his head reluctantly, suffering even more when he sees the realization happening on Sander's face.

''I'm sorry, that's impossible, Sander, I''

Sander moves backwards, his chin trembles slightly and he runs out of the room at full speed.

''Sander, wait.''

The front door slams before Robbe can catch up with him, startling Robbe's mother in the living room, who turns around to look at her son.

''You can go with him, Robbe. You can lock yourself in with him, I understand, you know. I know it was difficult for both of you."

Robbe shakes his head, sniffing, swallowing his tears.

''No, mom. I wouldn't leave you alone. He'll be fine, don't worry. He's stronger than he thinks he is. I'm just gonna go explain it to him, okay? I'll be right back. Try not to think about it tonight."

His mother nods and then she gives him a big smile.

''Just because he can do it, it's doesn't mean necessarily that good for him. He can stay with us, if you want, you know I love him."

Robbe nods and grabs his jacket before opening the door.

''I know. Thank you, Mom."

''Tell me if you don't come back, tonight.'' Shouts his mother before Robbe closes the door.

Robbe runs down the stairs while his phone starts ringing.

_Sander 7h49 pm_

_I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to force you._  
_Don't worry about me._

Robbe try to call him but Sander's voicemail greets him and it makes him grow a frustrated moan.

_Sander 7h52pm_

_I need time._  
_But I love you 💖 and I understand._

Robbe tries to call him again and then sighs.

_To Sander 7h54pm_

_Please answer, I want to explain._

Robbe grunts when the message is read but there is no trace of an answer. He thought they were past that point.

_To Sander 7h57pm_

_I'm coming to your house._

_From Sander 7h58pm_

_I'm not at home._  
_I'm looking at you._

If he didn't know him so well, Robbe would look around, but because he knows Sander, he starts running. And Sander sits there, his feet hanging in the void, looking at the wall where he drew Robbe's face.

Robbe sits quietly next to him and Sander doesn't move, he just stares at his work.

"I used to come here as soon as I was allowed to go out." Sander says softly, "It made me feel like I could breathe again. I'm glad they didn't erase it. But now I wonder if you had as much trouble as I did. I feel like it's easy for you not to see me all this time, almost as if you were relieved."

Robbe grabs Sander's chin and turns it towards him to force him to look at it.

''Are you kidding me? That was horrible, Sander. I missed you like nobody has ever missed me and I don't want to go through that again, but I have no choice.''

Sander lowers his head and pouting.

''Your mother won't want me, will she?''

Robbe puts an arm around Sander's shoulders, forcing him to come and rest against it.

''No, Sander. I'm sorry if I made you think that. My mom loves you, she even suggested that you come and live at home. But..."

Sander stands up so he can look at Robbe.

''Don't you want to? I know I can be too intense or too present and"

Robbe puts his finger over Sander's mouth to shut him up.

''No, it's not you, Sander. I don't want to impose that on you. I...I know I should have told you, but I didn't want to worry you when we couldn't see each other. But some days were really difficult for my mother during the lockdown. Really, really hard."

Sander looks at him and Robbe looks down, Sander asking him too many questions with his eyes.

''You told me it was okay.''

Robbe nods softly.

''And it was okay, babe. That's my mother, I can put up with a lot of things because I love her, but I don't want you to have to put up with that. I don't want to be separated from you, Sander, but I can't leave her alone and I can't make you put up with the hard times with my mother. You don't have to worry about that. I'm sorry, but I can't leave her.''

''I want to share everything with you, Robin. You don't have to protect me, okay?''

Sander's face decomposes again and Robbe strokes his cheek, wondering what he's thinking.

''That would make you too much, wouldn't it? To take care of both of us? But of course it's too much for one person. If we screw up at the same time, you'll"

Robbe shakes his head, pulling it against him.

''I didn't think about that for a second, babe. I'm just afraid that you're gonna feel trapped with us. What if it's too much for you? What if you can't stand having me around 24 hours a day anymore? I don't want us to break up like all those couples that couldn't stand the first lockdown."

Sander hugs Robbe against him, kissing him gently on the neck.

''That ain't gonna happen, baby. I want to be with you because you're my sunshine and the only reason I'm getting better. I can't get enough of you. I know it can be hard with your mom, but I'm ready to help you, Robin. You don't have to deal with this alone."

Robbe sighs and nods.

''If your parents agree, and you're sure, you're welcome to come home.''

Sander looks at him, widening his eyes.

"Really?'

Robbe puts his forehead against his, nodding at the same time.

"Really. If your parents agree. I know you're going to tell me you're over 18, but I don't want it to create a bad atmosphere between your parents and me."

Sander rolls his eyes before bending over to kiss Robbe, but he stops seconds away from his lips.

''You know all the Driesen love you, Robin. You couldn't create a bad atmosphere even if you wanted to.''

Robbe finally kisses him, sighing in the kiss.

''Don't ever think you're the cause, Sander. I love you so much. Ok, I want your therapist's approval too. You see him tomorrow, he'll tell us if it's a good idea.''

Sander rolls his eyes but smiles.

''You're impossible in business, Robin. Okay, whatever you need to reassure yourself. Come on, let's go to my home, I swear my parents will agree, just not to hear me tell them 100 times a day how much I miss you.''

Robbe really doubts it, but he says nothing and slips his hand into Sander's, after sending a message to his mother to tell her that he won't be back until tomorrow. Will he be alone or will they come back together? Frankly, he has no idea.


	2. Look on the bright side of things

_Monday, 2 Novembre - 10:01 am_

Robbe opens his computer and connects. Without this virus, they all would have had to be on vacation together, but now they are once again reduced to having to talk to each other via webcam. So this morning, for the first day of containment, all the Brooers decided to meet at 10am. Robbe smiles because Jens and Sander are already connected and chatting together.

''The Lockdown 2.0, welcome'' greets Jens as if he was a hostess.

"Hi !" Robbe says while Moyo also appears.

''Fuck, here we go again. How are you guys doing?"

''All right.'' replies Jens ''This time I've stocked up on weed. But it's going to be long, I can feel it! But Sander's right."

"I'm always right.'' Sander laughs and winks at the screen "I told Jens that it would probably be easier than the first time because it's less unknown. We know that in the end we'll be able to meet again and share good moments. And then we gain a few extra days of vacation, isn't that cool? We have to look on the bright side of things."

''That sounds like a lot of therapist talk.'' Moyo points out.

''Absolutely.'' Says Sander with a smile. ''But I think he's right, it'll be fine. Right, Robin?"

Robbe nods with a smile.

"And you Robbe? Not too hard to be away from your half again?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders at the very moment Aaron appears on the screen.

''Hey, guys! So what did I miss?"

''Hi!'' says Robbe without taking his eyes off the part where Sander appears on the screen, a big smile on his lips.

"Hi, dude." Sander laughs and raises his hand like a military salute.

"Damn, man, you're always late!" grumbles Jens.

"Robbe and Sander was about to give you some advice about cyber sex so you don't get blue balls this time." laughs Moyo.

Aaron starts laughing while Robbe rolls his eyes.

''No way."

''Ok, I have to leave you, guys.'' interrupts them Sander ''But I'll see you soon.''

The guys greet Sander and his chat window disappears.

"Is he OK?" asks Jens. "Why did he leave in such a hurry? Do you think it's because of cybersex?"

Robbe shakes the head with a smile. 

"Don't worry, it's fine. You will see him again soon."

''Ok Robbe, go ahead, I'm listening.'' says Aaron, leaning towards his screen. ''I'm sure you'll do it! You can tell us all about it, come on!"

Robbe takes a huge smile and shakes his head.

"I swear no, no cybersex this time."

Everyone approaches the screen with a frown on their eyebrows.

"Was it that bad?" asks Jens, "Are you both okay?"

Robbe bursts out laughing as he shakes his head again.

"No, it was great, but"

The door of his room opens and Robbe takes a huge smile. Sander hands him a cup of coffee and bends over just enough to appear on the screen.

''Oh, hi guys. I knew I'd see you soon."

All three guys start screaming at the same time.

''What?"

''What the hell are you doing here?''

''No! I can't believe it!''

Sander pulls Robbe's chin gently so he can kiss him before he steps back.

''Wait, I left my phone in my room, I'll get it.''

The guys calm down immediately while Robbe pouting as Sander leaves his room. 

''Fuck! You're locked together, you didn't tell us anything!" grumbles Jens "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Does he have his room?" asks Moyo. "What the fuck? Are you two in separate beds now?"

''Have you decided to be in solidarity with all those deprived of sex?'' asks Aaron, raising his eyebrows.

Robbe chuckles and then rolls his eyes.

''No, of course not. But we've arranged the guest room so he can work there after the vacations. We won't be able to take our classes next to each other on webcam."

Jens shrugs his shoulders.

''With a helmet it would work. It's not like we "really" have to participate."

Robbe rolls his eyes, feeling his cheeks turn red. The problem is not the noise, it's more the presence of Sander next to him. Sander moistens his lower lip with his tongue while he concentrates. Sander taking off his sweater because he's hot. Sander pulling gently on the tips of his hair when he doesn't understand something. Sander who draws and swears because he doesn't think it's perfect when it is.

''I think what he means is that they couldn't hold back from fucking.'' says Moyo before laughing.

Jens looks at Robbe, probably waiting for him to say something, but Sander reappears and comes and sits on Robbe's lap, putting his phone and a new drawing on the corner of the desk. Robbe bends over slightly, just enough to see the drawing that Sander has made of him, asleep. 

''It was this morning," Sander says softly. "You are so beautiful when you sleep.''

Robbe gently squeezes his waist, kissing him tenderly while the guys sigh in chorus on the screen.

"Oh no, we're going to have to watch you lick your face throughout the lockdown?"

Robbe looks up to the sky as Sander puts an arm around his shoulders, apparently settling seemingly very comfortably in his boyfriend's lap.

"I thought we were supposed to play." Sander asks, turning to the screen, "but I'm willing to spend my morning kissing Robbe."

Robbe rolls his eyes and opens the pictionary application.

"Okay, I'll start." Aaron chuckles "And no blue balls this time."

"Oh no, that's for sure!" laughs Sander. "Not for us, anyway."

Robbe hits him gently on the arm, telling him to shut up, but it draws even more attention to them.

"I can't believe you're together!'' says Jens.

''I know.'' answers Robbe, smiling, ''I'm so lucky.''

He puts his head against Sander's shoulder, before drinking a sip of coffee, smiling.

"I have the right to say that I'll probably be sad when we can go out again?'' asks Sander laughing. "I'm locked in with my boyfriend and Bowie sings for us. It sounds like heaven."

The guys listen and start laughing when they realize that Bowie is actually resonating softly in Robbe's bedroom. Aaron draws two four-legged men, one behind the other and Moyo starts screaming.

''It's Sander and Robbe during the lockdown.''

Aaron nods and laughs as Sander rolls his eyes.

''I would point out that I'd rather see his sweet face than be in that position, so it's not really realistic.''

''Sander, Fuck!'' grins Robbe as he hits his arm.

''What? It's true, isn't it? You also don't like to take me as like thi"

Robbe puts his hand over Sander's mouth, his cheeks red while Moyo and Aaron rub their hands in front of their screens.

''Damn, this lockdown is going to be so informative for us!''

Jens rolls his eyes and sighs.

''Cheer up, Robbe. They will never let you alone."

"So?" asks Aaron. "Are you really interchangeable?"

Robbe signals him to wait and draws an honorary finger on the pictionary board, which makes Jens and Moyo laugh and earns him a kiss from Sander.


	3. Learn to love Mondays

_Monday 2 November, 11:42am_

Two arms surround Robbe's waist and Sander's mouth gently lands in his neck for a kiss before going over his shoulder.

''I'm sorry, I need a knife and you're right in front of it.''

Robbe rolls his eyes while Sander gently opens the drawer right in front of Robbe, forcing him to lean against his chest so that he can open it wide enough to take a knife.

''You could have asked, if not.''

''And miss the opportunity to hug you?'' Sander says, falsely indignant ''Never.''

Robbe turns around with a big smile and grabs Sander's lips with his own, gently pushing him away until Sander touches the worktop behind him and puts the knife on it. Now that they are free, Sander's hands rest on Robbe's waist, gently lifting his shirt to slide underneath. Robbe lets out a slight laugh when Sander's cold hands touch his skin and squirm but does not break the kiss. Sander twists them and Robbe's back hits the worktop as Sander's hands slide down the back of his thighs, probably to lift him up.

''It smells so good, boys!''

Sander immediately steps back and Robbe smiles at him. Sander has no difficulty with demonstrations of affection in front of their respective parents, but he knows that Robbe is not at all comfortable, neither in front of his mother nor in front of Sander's parents.

''Oh Sander, don't let him go for me. I know what you are doing in his bedroom. Stop acting as if you were just friends in front of me. I like to see that you take care of my son and how much you love him.''

Sander smiles and nods while Robbe drops a plaintive "Mom !", his cheeks more scarlet than the tomato sauce he has just prepared.

"What?! I'm not telling you to stand half-naked in my kitchen, but I don't mind seeing you in love, Robbe. We're going to spend at least six weeks together, I want Sander to be as comfortable as possible.''

Robbe sighs as he looks at his mother.

''He's comfortable, Mom, I'm the one who's uncomfortable and he knows.''

His mother looks at Sander, then laughs and rolls her eyes.

''Oh Robbe! You're at home, you should be comfortable. I like to see you so happy. You are so much more smiling since you are with Sander. Don't push him away because of me, that's not very nice."

"I don't push him away, Mom!"

"That's the way it feels, honey."

Robbe rolls his eyes with a sigh, opening his arms and looking at Sander.

''Sander, babe, could you come give me a hug to show my mother I don't push you away because she's there, please?''

Sander nods with a huge smile and dives into Robbe's arms, immediately holding him tight. 

''With pleasure.'' Sander says with a huge smile, ''Thank you so much, Nathalie.''.

''I want you to feel at home here, Sander.''

Sander nods as he turns around, while Robbe gently wraps his arms around him.

''Can I help you do something?''

''You can set the table if you want, Mom.''

Sander goes to stir the sauce in the pan and Robbe' mother takes three plates out of the cupboard. Robbe looks at Sander and at his mother and smiles. Maybe he didn't have to worry so much after all, they will all be fine. It's clear that he's really lucky in the end to be able to be confined with the two people he loves the most on Earth. Sander's parents were not at all difficult to convince, even though they insisted on calling Robbe's mother to make sure she really agreed, but what surprised Robbe the most was that Sander's therapist said that this was probably the best way for Sander to handle this difficult period. Robbe didn't really realize that he was so beneficial for Sander's health, even though Sander keeps telling him that he wants to get as well as possible thanks to him. 

Robbe looks at his mother who is walking towards the table, waving to him to come.

''I have an appointment with my therapist at 2 o'clock. It's good that she's keeping the appointments face-to-face this time. I'd rather see her than talk on my computer."

"I understand you," Sander answers, putting the pan in the middle of the table. "It was so weird talking to mine through the screen. Plus I could see myself at the bottom of the screen and...I don't know, it was really weird."

Robbe grabs the parmesan from the fridge and turns around just in time to see his mother gently caressing Sander's shoulders before kissing his cheek. Honestly, if it wasn't Sander, he would probably be really jealous of his mother behaving like that with someone else, but since it is Sander, he is just really happy.

''I'll be back around 4.00 pm, I think. I'm going to take the opportunity to walk a little bit because it's nice weather today. Don't you need me to buy anything?"

Robbe shakes his head as he joins them around the table, with a big smile that matches the one on Sander's face.

''No mom, we have everything we need for at least two weeks, don't worry.''

Robbe doesn't lose his smile until his mother closes the door of the house behind her at 1.45 pm. Sander is in the kitchen, putting their empty cups in the sink and Robbe almost jumps up to him.

''I think we have the house all to ourselves for at least 2 hours. I feel like I'm going to love Mondays, now."

Sander shrugs his shoulders, looking innocent as he looks around.

''And do you have any idea what you want to do? Do you want to start doing your homework? You shouldn't forget everything during the vacations.''

Robbe takes off his shirt and throws it across the kitchen when the front door opens again.

''I forgot my phone and... Oh Robbe, didn't I say: not half-naked in my kitchen? Why don't you go to your bedroom?"

His mother starts laughing as Robbe's cheeks turn scarlet and he looks at his shirt across the room, as if he could magically turn it back on himself. Robbe looks at his mother who grabs his phone from the coffee table in the living room before leaving.

"Okay, be good and have fun, but I guess that was your program. But not in the kitchen, please. I'll see you later, guys."

Robbe makes a long moan while Sander laughs, joins him and wraps his arms around him.

''Come on baby, it's all right.''

Robbe sighs as he lets his head fall back so that it rests against Sander's collarbone.

''It's so embarrassing! I feel like I'm going to die. I will never be able to look her in the eye again."

Sander rolls his eyes, pecking at Robbe's neck while playing with his nipples.

''That's enough, drama queen, your mom is cool. And then you weren't totally naked, it could have been worse. Come on, listen to her, she said "Have fun". And then you're so hot that none of this is awkward, Robin."

Sander lightly bites Robbe's neck, certainly leaving a mark, while his right hand goes down along Robbe's belly, slipping under his jeans to the entrance of his boxer shorts.

"So?" asks Sander innocently, "What's the program?"

"I don't know." mumbles Robbe, leaning a little more against Sander. "What do you want."

"I want you." blows Sander into Robbe's ear.

"You already have me. "

Sander moans and Robbe smiles because he knows that Sander loves to be possessive. Robbe turns around in Sander's arms so he can look at him.

''I'm already all yours, babe, you can do whatever you want to me."

Sander grabs Robbe by the thighs and lifts him up so quickly that he snatches off a surprised little scream, but Robbe's body wraps itself around Sander's, as if by reflex. He expects Sander to carry him to his bed but Sander pushes the bathroom door with his foot and puts him on the floor.

"I missed you this morning in the shower," Sander whispers as he plays with the earring with his teeth, "I imagined so many things we could have done together. I love sharing my shower with you."

Robbe sighs.

''I know, but it's not really discreet when my mother is there. Sorry."

Sander shakes his head and smiles.

''That's good. Well... I think it's just the two of us now.''

Robbe takes off Sander's shirt before bending over to lick his nipples and then climbs up to his ear, rubbing his already hard cock in his pants against Sander's crotch.

"So you were thinking about me in the shower?

''I think about you all the time, baby.''

Robbe hums, gently biting Sander's earlobe while unbuttoning his pants.

''Did you touch yourself thinking about me this morning?''

Sander is startled, barely steps back, but Robbe feels it immediately because their sexes no longer rub against each other. If he didn't know him so well, Robbe would miss the slight blush on Sander's cheeks, but since he doesn't, he gently passes his thumb over it with an apology.

''Sorry. You don't have to answer. You have the right to keep your secret garden. I was just wondering."

Sander looks at him, moves closer so that they are totally glued together again and sighs softly.

''Would it make you sad if I said yes?''

Robbe looks at him and takes a huge smile.

''No. I'd find it rather hot actually. But forget about it, babe, sorry."

Sander seems hesitant so Robbe hugs him, gently caressing his lower back.

''So, shall we take that shower? Tell me I didn't ruin it, please."

Sander starts laughing before he kisses Robbe so hard that he pushes him against the bathroom wall. He pulls down his jeans and takes off his boxers before looking at Robbe with a big smile.

''You're way too dressed for this.''

Robbe takes off his pants and boxers and then his socks before joining Sander who is already under the jet of hot water. Sander hugs him, closing his hand around both sexes so he can caress them together.

''Do you think it's really hot to know that I'm touching myself while you're in the house? I feel like an obsessed man who can't seem to calm his ardor. I was beginning to wonder if this was the beginning of an episode."

Robbe starts laughing before kissing Sander.

''I did it too, Sander. I imagined you naked in the shower and I imagined what we could have done if I could have joined you or if you joined me while I was touching myself. Do you think that's weird? Shit yeah, that's weird, isn't it? Do you want me to stop doing it?"

Sander shakes his head while kissing Robbe's neck.

''It's hot to imagine you touching yourself while thinking of me. And it's your body, Robin, you can do whatever you want with it."

Sander takes a naughty smile and lets go of their cocks so he can pin Robbe against the shower wall, making him squeal in surprise when his back touches the cold tile floor.

''Except give it to someone else, of course.''

Robbe rolls his eyes, putting his hands on Sander's cheeks.

''I'm yours, babe, only yours.''

Sander nods and crouches down in front of Robbe so that he can suck him gently but deeply, wringing satisfied moans from him. The moaning becomes louder as Sander's fingers go in and out inside Robbe. 

"One more.'' Robbe moans, while moving slightly to offer a better access angle on his ass ''Wait, stop.''

He tugs on Sander's hair to get him to let go of his dick and moan about the loss while blowing gently.

''You're going to make me come. Fuck, you're so fucking good."

Sander straightens up but keeps his fingers inside Robbe, moving them gently while his tongue slides into the mouth of the younger one who continues to moan and pant.

''Show me what you wanted to do to me this morning.''

Sander removes his fingers and grabs Robbe's thighs to lift him up. Robbe's legs immediately wrap around his waist while his back rests again against the cold tile floor. The contrast is even more important than before now that his body gives him the impression of being on fire.

Sander goes down slightly, guiding his dick inside Robbe before gently pushing his hips. Robbe relaxes his arms a little around Sander's shoulders so that he can go down a bit more and let him go in deeper. 

Sander's hands grab his ass and it gives Robbe the impression that he is bouncing off Sander's cock while hot water is flowing over them. They both moan without any restraint, knowing that they are alone and hearing Sander's satisfied moaning excites Robbe even more.

''Do you like it like this?''

Robbe nods his head and finds Sander's mouth, trying to kiss him as best he can. And it's really good until Sander grabs one of his legs and tries to get it over his shoulders.

"Hey, I'm not a rag doll."

Sander starts laughing and they almost fall over, moaning about the loss of their connection. Sander catches up with the shower head, which falls off and onto the shower floor. Robbe cuts off the water with his elbow at the same time as he stands up on his feet laughing.

''Now I'll show you what I imagined this morning.''

Robbe grabs two towels and hands one to Sander. They almost don't dry out, too eager to get into Robbe's bed. Robbe pushes Sander onto the bed before throwing his towel into a corner of the room and straddles him, grabbing the base of his genitals to slide over, wrenching a long moan from Sander.

''Damn, Robbe.''

Robbe bends over to kiss Sander, biting his lower lip lightly as Sander raises his hips and goes all the way inside. Robbe straightens up, dragging Sander with him, scratching his back with his nails as he climbs up and down on his dick.

"Damn, Robbe, you're so beautiful."

Robbe smiles while Sander kisses his neck, taking his medal with his teeth. Robbe knows that Sander does this when he's really close and it just makes him want to pick up the pace. That, and his own dick leaking on his belly.

"Fuck Robbe, you"

Robbe pushes Sander back to lie down again, and returns them, in the same process.

"Finish me off."

Sander's face takes on that diabolical look as he crouches down in front of Robbe, already hitting him hard. Robbe lifts his legs to put them on Sander's shoulders, provoking a huge smile on the face of the brunette who rises just enough to come and kiss Robbe. This makes Robbe feel like he's totally bent in half, and it's really painful at the back of his thighs, but it also gives an angle so much deeper that Sander hits his hot spot every time, just allowing him to see stars.

"Fuck, this is too"

Robbe can't even talk anymore, feeling his orgasm swelling in his lower abdomen. He can't even concentrate enough to kiss him and Sander understands him because he lets go of his lips and grabs his neck. Sander hits him hard and Robbe lets his orgasm surprise him, the sperm jets spilling out between them as Sander bites his neck, coming inside of him, spreading this incredible feeling of warmth inside him. 

Robbe closes his eyes, trying to catch his breath while Sander frees his legs and lies down beside him, panting, finding his hand to take it in his.

"I'm going to love Mondays so much!"

If Robbe could laugh, he would, but he can't even breathe normally anymore so he just shakes Sander's hand in his, waiting for his heart rate to return to normal.


	4. I was born to love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Summary: Just sex and two guys in love...literally.

_Monday 2 November, 2:32 pm_

  
Sander caresses his arm from top to bottom and Robbe really has to struggle not to fall asleep. In theory, he could, but he would have to go clean himself up a bit and pick up their clothes scattered on the bathroom floor before his mother comes home. So, he opens his eyes to find Sander's eyes looking at him lovingly.

"Are you fine?"

Robbe nods with a smile.

''Yeah. That was great."

Sander nods, getting closer to curl up against him and Robbe remembers that he wanted to talk to him about something important at lunchtime before his mother joins them.

"I'd like to talk about what the guys said this morning." Robbe says softly, stroking Sander's arm that rests on his belly.

''That we are interchangeable? We'd say they're talking about a cell phone battery? But I guess you could say that's what we are."

Robbe rolls his eyes as he giggles.

''No, I didn't mean that, silly. And I think the word it's more "versatile", actually.''

Sander raises an eyebrow and Robbe stops, shaking his head, trying to remember how he came to talk about it, because it wasn't the subject he wanted to talk about at all.

''Anyway, it wasn't the subject, I''

''I thought we were saying "switches"?''

Robbe chuckles, rubbing himself on the nose of Sander who seems to think.

''Who cares? I love you, and I love that we make love the way we want, I don't need a word for it."

Sander moves closer so he can kiss Robbe, letting his hand get lost in his hair, and Robbe feels his dick harden against Sander's already again. Sander smiles in the kiss before backing away.

''So, maybe you should show me how much you love me?''

Robbe rolls his eyes, gently tapping Sander's shoulder.

''You know that I love you more than anything else in the world, but I'm too tired to do it again now.''

Sander's hand slips from Robbe's hair, touches his chest and then his belly until he grabs his dick and caresses it.

"Your body to be rather receptive, it seems. That's why I chose a young guy."

Robbe rolls his eyes again.

''You didn't choose anything, I just fell on you.''

Sander nods with a smile.

''And it's definitely the best thing that ever happened to me.''

Sander grabs Robbe's wrist and starts licking his fingers while looking at him with a look of ember.

''Fuck, you know what it does to me when you do that. But we should get cleaned up already, babe, and''

Sander releases Robbe's fingers to come and lick his lower abdomen, taking advantage of the opportunity to suck him gently before coming back to kiss him.

"And there you go. Cats do it like that, don't they?"

Robbe smiles while rolling his eyes but lets Sander take his fingers in his mouth and suck them gently while looking at him. He lets go of his fingers so that he can kiss along Robbe's jaw, all the way to his ear.

''I want you inside of me.''

The words go straight to Robbe's cock that moans as he grabs Sander's ass to knead it.

"Oh yeah?"

Sander licks Robbe's ear, sucks his earring before pushing him to lie on his back and climbing on top of him.

''Yeah.''

Sander rolls his hips just enough to crush Robbe's cock under him and make him moan with excitement before grabbing him and guiding him inside.

"Wait, you're not"

Sander shakes his head while letting himself gently go down on Robbe's cock.

''I'm ready, baby, I want it too much.''

Robbe stops moving, and almost squints to look at Sander. Sander never needs a lot of preparation, but Robbe starts to wonder if he shouldn't worry that Sander wants sex so much today? But since he also really wants it, maybe that's normal, right? Maybe it's just because they're two lovers who are excited about the idea of having a home life, isn't it? And they've already had marathon sex nights without it being dictated by an episode of Sander.

''Stop thinking. Please, Robin, make love to me. I just want you to make love to me."

Robbe stands up to hug Sander and for a few seconds they just stay like this: Robbe sits down, holding Sander in his arms while he now takes him completely.

''I was born to love you, Sander.''

"With every single beat of my heart.'' whispers Sander against Robbe's skin.

"I was born to take care of you."

Robbe puts two kisses in Sander's neck before going up along his nape of the neck and then finding his lips. Sander must take this as a signal because he moves slowly in a figure eight before rising on his thighs and then moaning down into Robbe's mouth.

Robbe folds his legs to the sides so he can stand up, lift Sander up and lay him against the mattress without getting out of him.

''Oh, nice.''

Robbe chuckles in front of Sander's amazed face and kisses him gently before starting a series of gentle comings and goings. He grabs Sander's lower lip and lets his teeth rasp along before releasing it, causing an excited moan from the older one.

''You drive me so crazy, Robbe. You're the only one who can do this to me. You're the only one who makes me feel this way."

Robbe takes a huge smile and lifts Sander's leg, letting it rest against his chest while he stands up to watch his dick disappear inside him.

''And you're the only one I want to do this with for the rest of my life, babe.''

Sander moans and tightens around Robbe who moans in turn before looking at him. He slips his hands behind Sander's shoulders to hold him and hits him hard, enjoying Sander's groans and the sight of his sinking cock. 

Sander grabs his dick and strokes it just to relieve the pressure, and although Robbe usually loves to see him stroking himself like this, today he takes a teasing smile and takes his hand away.

"It's just me."

Sander rolls his eyes backwards, arching as Robbe dives into him, intertwining his fingers with Sander's fingers.

''I need you to touch me, baby.''

Robbe looks at Sander's red cock and shakes his head with a naughty smiles.

''Not yet. You can handle it."

Sander nods his head and closes his eyes, moaning with pleasure and half sobbing. He's completely undone and Robbe loves it, so, he's accelerating his pace, wanting to make Sander crack.

Sander's hands tighten up against his own and Robbe knows he has to struggle not to touch himself. Robbe releases his hands just as Sander comes, painting his belly white, sighing at his name. Robbe hits his sore spot twice more before he wants to step back. 

''I'm not going to make it, Sander. But it was really good."

Sander shakes his head and blocks him by wrapping his legs around him, encouraging him to continue. So, Robbe continues and moaning because it's just so good. Sander takes his devilish face and picks up his sperm from his belly with two of his fingers before bringing it up to Robbe's lips.

''Lick.''

Robbe chuckles, stunned. It's not something they've ever done before and it's weird, isn't it? He looks into Sander's laughing, naughty eyes and sees nothing but love. So he takes Sander's fingers in his mouth and licks them. He loves the taste of Sander so he moans and hits Sander's ass hard again.

"Fuck...Sander''.

Sander removes his fingers from Robbe's mouth and collects semen on his belly before bringing the fingers to his own mouth this time while looking Robbe in the eyes and the vision completely capsizes Robbe. He has the impression that the orgasm has been ripped from him so powerful it is.

Sander unhooks his legs with a satisfied smile and Robbe falls back on the mattress next to him panting but turns his head to be able to look at him.

"Whoah it was...fuck, it was...''

Sander nods and then grabs Robbe's hand in his and brings it up to his lips to kiss him on top.

''Was it too much?''

Robbe shakes his head, a big smile on his lips.

''No. It was great... Amazing...I love you."

Sander smiles, kissing the top of Robbe's hand again.

''I love you too. You'll tell me if it's too much, right? If you feel like you're being forced to do something or''

Robbe moans as he turns around because he would have liked to never move again but he needs to squeeze himself too tightly against Sander, even though they are really sticky.

"I never felt like you were forcing me to do anything, Sander. If I don't want to, I'll say no and you know it, ok? So yes, I was a bit surprised because we've never done that before, but after all, I've tasted you an incredible number of times already, so why not. It was really hot. I really loved it, babe. And now I'm broken."

Robbe rests his head against Sander's chest, who kisses him on the forehead and gently caresses his back from top to bottom.

''I loved it too, it was so great. By the way, you wanted to talk about something, didn't you?"

Robbe mumbles something against Sander's chest, eyes already closed, being already half asleep.

''Okay, go to sleep, baby Robbe, it can wait.''

Sander keeps stroking his back and Robbe doesn't even try to remember what he wanted to talk about. He just wants to stay there for the rest of his life. Sander's hands gently caress the top of his neck while he starts to sing softly.

 _''I was born to love you, with every single beat of my heart. Yes, I was born to take care of you, every single day of my life._ _You are the one for me. I am the man for you. You we're made for me.''_

Robbe can no longer concentrate on the words, so he only listens to the sound of Sander's voice singing Queen as if it were a lullaby.

And that's just perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise all the chapters won't be all about sex... but I like to imagine them so in love...I couldn't help myself... The worst thing is that I really thought I was talking about the subject Robbe wanted to talk about but...I was cut off, like RObbe...so we'll save that subject for the next chapter.


	5. Not to be afraid of happiness

_Monday 2 November, 5:58 pm_

Robbe wakes up with a start and realizes that he was sleeping with his mouth open, a large trickle of drool having flowed between his cheek and his cushion. He wipes the corner of his mouth and frowns when he realizes that he is alone and that his clothes, which should be on the bathroom floor, are lying on his desk chair. 

Robbe gets up, grabs his towel and clothes and heads into the bathroom. The whole house is really quiet. He takes his cell phone out of his jeans pocket to look at the time and realizes that he has 4 messages from Jens asking him to call him back. But more importantly, it's already 6pm so his mother must have been home for a while.

He rushes into the shower, trying to do it as quickly as possible, but taking pleasure in the sensation of warm water on his skin and gets dressed before heading into the living room. His mom is here, sitting on the couch, reading a book. There are two empty cups on the living room table, which suggests that Sander was here with his mother at one point.

"Hi honey, did you sleep well?"

Robbe runs a hand through his hair, almost embarrassed when he shouldn't be. His mother is used to him taking naps, but now he knows that she knows he has had sex before and that's just weird.

''Yeah."

''It's good, you looked tired. I hope you can get some rest while the vacation."

Robbe nods and then turns around to look in the kitchen to see if he sees a cute brown guy.

''He's in the guest room, he said he wanted to finish a job for school.''

Robbe takes a big smile and turns back to knock on the guest room door.

''Nathalie, don't knock at your house, anyway.''

Sander laughs halfway and that makes Robbe laugh as he pushes the door.

''Oh, an angel is knocking at my door. Am I really in heaven?''

Robbe laughs as he comes to sit on Sander's lap and Sander puts down his pencil.

''I missed you when I woke up.''

Robbe rolls into a ball on Sander who hugs him gently.

''It's not like I'm far away. I came to advance my school project a little. What do you think?''

Robbe turns around, without leaving Sander's lap so he can look at the sketch on the desk and his mouth opens as wide as his eyes as he discovers the drawing of him, totally asleep and naked, half tangled in a sheet.

''Sander, you can't use this for a school project.''

Sander grabs his sheet and lifts it up to look at it.

''Of course not, I'm not finished yet. But when I am finished, it will be so perfect that I'll get an A."

Robbe rolls his eyes and turns around to look at Sander.

''I'm naked, Sander! You just can't give your teachers a drawing of me naked."

Sander looks up at the sky and nods.

''The subject of our project is ''Art and the naked body'' so it's just perfect. You are perfect. You'll notice that I pretty drew a sheet to hide certain parts of your body when in reality the sheet was all over the bed except on you...And it's not like it's going to be displayed outside of school by the way."

''Are you telling me it's gonna be on display at school?''

Sander shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''If I'm good enough, yes. Noor will be able to see what she just missed.''

Robbe grunts, giving Sander a slight punch in the shoulder.

''Just kidding, baby. I try not to be jealous that she saw you and touched you, but"

"But nothing ! You have absolutely no reason to be jealous of Noor and you know it. I don't even see why you're talking about it now and..."

Robbe looks at Sander and hits him on the shoulder again.

''Fuck! Are you kidding me? You are not jealous at all, in fact, you're fucking with me."

Sander bursts out laughing as he holds Robbe close to him while his cell phone vibrates in his pocket.

''Sorry, but you're so cute when you panic like that.''

Robbe rolls his eyes, pecking at Sander's lips, while his phone continues to vibrate.

''It must be Jens.''

Robbe pulls out his phone and it's actually Jens calling him in Facetimes. Robbe picks up the phone with a smile and doesn't miss the smile that fades on Jens' face when he sees Sander behind him. Sander elbows him slightly in the back, showing that he doesn't miss it either.

''Uh... hey, guys. Are you busy?"

"No, that's okay." Robbe says "I was just gonna call you back. How are you doing? I saw that you tried to call several times."

''And you didn't call me back.'' blows Jens, frowning.

''Baby, you should go to your room to talk with Jens.''

Robbe shakes his head but Sander gently pushes him up.

''I think he wants to talk to you.'' Sander whispers ''You. Alone. Don't worry, I'll keep drawing.''

Robbe looks at Jens in his phone, expecting him to contradict Sander but Jens says nothing so Robbe rolls his eyes before caressing Sander's arm, only letting go of his hand when he goes too far away to keep it in his hand.

"Draw well."

''Speak well! Bye Jens!''

"Bye Sander! Thanks."

Robbe goes to his room and sits down on his desk to put his phone down.

"So, uh... how are you, man?"

"I should be asking you, shouldn't I?"

Robbe almost jumps up and approaches his phone with a frown.

''Wait, what? What did I do?"

Jens rolls his eyes and Robbe can see that he is upset, which is even more confusing. 

''We spent our weekend together, Robbe. And at no point did you think it was right to tell us you were moving in with Bowie?"

Robbe sighs, trying not to overreact, but he knows he won't.

''Why don't you call him Sander, damn it? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

''Oh!'' Jens cup him off ''That was his disguise! I was just saying that 'cause he's been dressed like Bowie all day. What's your problem, Robbe? Why are you getting angry?"

''Cause you're calling to piss me off, aren't you?''

Jens blows with a shake of the head.

''No, silly, I just want to make sure you're okay. I'm worried about you."

"What? Why?"

''Because you didn't tell me, damn it! And if you didn't tell me, that means you knew you were doing something wrong. So now I'm afraid something will go wrong between you, Sander and your mother and I won't even be able to help you."

Robbe sighs as he bites his lower lip. He told Sander that he wanted to wait until he saw the guys on webcam to surprise them, like they did this morning, and that was true, but he was also afraid that his friends would tell him that he was going to do something stupid or that it was a bad idea.

''The three of us are fine, Jens. Don't worry about us."

Jens rolls his eyes and smiles.

''I worry about you, Robbe, that's my job as your best friend.''

And there, at that very moment, Robbe knows that he has to choose between two directions: yelling at Jens and reminding him that he wasn't there a year ago when he needed to talk to him; or thanking him, remembering how he reacted when he came out and how he encouraged him to make things clear with Sander.

"Thanks Jens. I swear everything is fine. We just wanted to be able to make a joke to you this morning. I'm sorry if you were upset that you didn't know, but I swear I'm fine. I feel really lucky."

''And you are!'' confirms Jens with a smile, ''Okay! If you tell me that you are sure of yourself, I believe you. So if you feel like you're going to get angry about something, move to another room. Don't go to bed angry and please try not to yell. You're scary when you're freaking out!"

Robbe sighs, rolling his eyes.

''It doesn't happen to me anymore, Jens. I'm fine."

''And, you can call me anytime, okay? Don't forget about me just because your amazing boyfriend moved in with you."

''He didn't move in, he's just here for the lockdown.''

Jens starts laughing as if he's just heard the best joke of the century.

''If you stick it out, I bet you'll never be able to live in two separate houses again!''

_Jens! Come and help me, it's heavy!_

''Shit, it's my mother, she needs help. Okay, I have to leave you. It was good talking to you, Robbe. See you soon."

Robbe stares at his phone screen which turns black and he can't think of anything else but his fucking words: _''If you stick it out''_. Five little words were enough to rekindle all the fear inside Robbe.

Fuck. As if he wasn't already scared enough to fuck it up, his best friend had to add to it. Robbe puts his phone on his desk and crosses the corridor to meet Sander in the second bedroom.

''Are you okay? He looked weird.''

''No no, it's okay.''

Sander frowns slightly, but Robbe smiles at him before looking at his drawing again.

''Hey! I don't have a nipple ring! Why did you draw that?"

Sander takes a huge smile before pulling Robbe in his arms so that he sits on his lap again.

''You could. And that way everyone will wonder if it's true or not, and only me and you will know the answer. And your mother too, thanks to the show you did earlier."

Robbe moans and lets his head fall back, which just allows Sander to kiss his neck as he pleases.

''I'm kidding. Come on my muse, do I have the right to finish? I won't be long, I promise."

Robbe nods and gets up, stealing one last kiss from Sander's lips before leaving him. He hasn't even left the room yet that Sander is already bent over his drawing again and that makes Robbe smile. Sander is so beautiful when he is concentrated like that.

Robbe takes the opportunity to change his sheets, make his bed and tidy up his room and then joins his mother to help her prepare dinner. He is almost ready to go and fetch Sander when he magically appears at 7.35 pm, the drawing in his hands.

''I'm done."

Robbe won't point out to him that he said he won't be long because it's just beautiful. It's so beautiful that he doesn't even feel like it's him on the drawing. But he doesn't have the time to say it because his mother is ahead of him.

''Sander, it's really beautiful.''

Robbe's cheeks turn red immediately and of course it doesn't go unnoticed because his mother and Sander start laughing softly.

''Oh honey, that's art. The subject no longer matters at this point. What matters is all the emotions that come out of the drawing and how it makes the viewer feel. Sander, it's really beautiful."

Sander takes a beautiful satisfied smile as every time someone compliments his art and looks at Robbe.

''I love it, babe, but I still think it's more beautiful than reality itself.''

Sander looks up to the sky.

''It's because we don't have the same reality. You should see you with my eyes.''

Sander goes back to his room to put the drawing down and Robbe looks at his mother who sets the table with a smile on her face. 

''He's really cute.''

Robbe smiles and nods.

"Yes, he is."

His mother stops and stands up to look at Robbe.

''I'm really glad he's with us. I'm glad you have someone to count on if I'm not feeling well."

Robbe frowns and moves closer to his mother, placing his hand on her forearm.

''Are you okay, Mom? Did your appointment go badly?''

His mother shakes her head and smiles.

''No, I was just saying that. I'm fine but I know I can feel bad at any time, so I'm glad you're not alone in this. I know some days were hard for you in the first lockdown."

Robbe doesn't want to deny or nod, so he just smiles at his mother.

''That's all, honey, I'm just happy."

"Me too."

They eat talking too much about art to Robbe's taste, but the smiles of his mother and Sander are enough to make him happy so Robbe doesn't even try to change the subject. Sander offers to watch a movie, but his mother says she wants to finish her book and that she is tired from the walk, so she goes to her room, wishing them a good night.

So finally, they watch a Netflix movie on Robbe's computer, hugging each other on his bed. 

"It was... a bit too obvious how it ends, wasn't it?"

Robbe smiles as he turns to kiss Sander.

''Yeah, but that's a good ending. I liked it."

Robbe turns off his computer and puts it on the floor before hugging Sander again.

''Do you remember what you wanted to talk to me about this morning? I thought about it while you were asleep and I don't know what the guys would have said that you would want to talk about.''

Robbe nods, kissing Sander's arm just because it's within reach of his lips.

''It's normal, you weren't there. In fact, they thought we were sleeping in different rooms, and I just wanted you to know that we can do that if you need it.''

Sander shifts Robbe slightly so he can look him in the eye.

''Do you want me to sleep in the other room?''

Robbe gently caresses Sander's cheek and sighs in front of his worried face.

''No, I don't want you to sleep in the other room, but I want you to know that it is possible. If it becomes too much for you and you want some space, you can use that possibility, okay? I wouldn't blame you and I wouldn't"

Sander puts his index finger on Robbe's mouth smiling.

''You think too much, baby! Stop imagining that it's going to go wrong. I love you and I want to be with you, okay? Why are you so pessimistic? Why do you keep thinking I'm gonna get sick of you? Have I ever made you feel like I am?"

Robbe looks down, hugging Sander.

''No. Of course not. But we've never spent so much time together. I'm afraid that you can't stand me anymore and that you'll leave. I know that life with me can be...''

''Wonderful? Fantastic? Heavenly? Paradisiac? I'm not your father, Robbe, I'm not going to leave. I promise!"

Robbe sighs and squeezes himself a little closer to Sander.

''I'm sorry, I'm just scared."

Sander buries his head in Robbe's hair and sighs.

''I know, baby. Do you think I'm not terrified that you'll realize I'm too much for you? Whether you're tired of hearing Bowie, or you're tired of seeing me lost for hours in my drawings, or I'm just too clingy for you and you decide to kick us out?"  
  
"Us?" asks Robbe before he starts laughing, "Oh, don't worry, I'll kick you out, but I'm keeping Bowie with me." 

Sander starts laughing while Robbe huddles up against him, wrapping his arm around his waist.

''I swear you're not too much, Sander. I love you just the way you are and I'll never get tired of you."

Sander nods with a sigh.

''Then accept that I feel the same way, Robin. Come here."

Sander pulls him into a comforting hug as he has the secret. Just with his arms he makes Robbe feel safe and makes he feel like the most important thing Sander has ever held in his arms. Sander kisses him gently on the forehead, forcing him to lay his head against him while caressing his cheek.

''I love you so much, Robbe Ijzermans, you have no idea.''

Robbe smiles as he closes his eyes, humming in response.

"I really love you too, Mister Driesen."

Sander holds him tight and Robbe just feels good. He listens to Sander's breathing, which gets quieter and quieter, then he listens for a while to the slight snoring he makes when he sleeps, but sleep never comes. 

So, he spends a while watching Sander just lit by the moonlight and he is so terrified of losing what they have that he can't sleep.

_No one plans to leave or break up in advance, so why should their relationship be any different? How can you be really sure that it's really the right person? Is there really a time when we can be sure that we will stay together for the rest of our lives? How many people can boast of having met their significant other at 16 and never having known anyone else?_

Robbe's brain doesn't seem to want to stop thinking so he silently gets up and heads into the kitchen. Might as well keep his mind busy. He puts on his MP3 headphones and launches his playlist _Bowie in love_ before taking out his recipe book and the ingredients he needs.


	6. Let go in happiness

_Tuesday 3 November, 4:02 am_

It's a gentle caress in the back of the neck that wakes him up.

"Oh my baby."

He hears Sander sigh but he is too tired to open his eyes and understand the problem.

''Come here, my love.''

Robbe feels himself being lifted up and immediately sticks to Sander, burying his head in his neck.

''If I didn't know you well, I would think that you do everything you can not to sleep with me.''

Robbe grunts, wanting to tell Sander that it has nothing to do with it, but he just manages to open his mouth while Sander gently lays him down in bed.

''Shhh, it's nothing, baby. Sleep. It's only 4 o'clock. Come here."

Robbe feels Sander hugging him, gently kissing his forehead and he immediately goes back to sleep.

When he wakes up, Sander's lies down in front of him and looks at him smiling.

''Hello, cutie.''

Robbe looks between his eyelashes to be able to look at him and smiles at the moment Sander moves gently to be able to caress his cheek.

''Hi. Did you sleep well?''

Sander shrugs his shoulders with a sweet smile.

''I don't know. I dreamt that I woke up alone in that bed, that I looked for you everywhere and that you were asleep on the kitchen table, a multitude of muffins being prepared around you.''

Robbe looks down in shame.

''Yeah. Sorry, I couldn't sleep. I was going to come back to bed but I must have fallen asleep waiting for the last round."

Sander sighs and pulls gently on Robbe's chin so that he looks at him.

''Why didn't you wake me up? We could have talked about what's bothering you. Or I could at least have kept you company."

Robbe smiled softly at him but that doesn't seem to be enough.

''Talk to me, Robbe, please.''

Robbe sighs, intertwining his legs with those of Sander.

''It's nothing, I should never have slept so long yesterday afternoon, that's all.''

Sander frowns slightly as he looks at him.

"Are you sure that's all?"

Robbe nods with a smile, curling up against Sander.

"Of course. I'm fine, babe. No nap today and tonight I'll fall asleep before you do, you'll see."

Robbe grunts at himself, the next night, when he finds himself again watching Sander sleep. But this time he's not going to get up. Even though all three of them finally enjoyed the muffins today and Robbe had made so many that he was able to take some to Milan, Zoe and Senne. He may not have gotten much sleep last night but at least 5 people were happy about it. Robbe would have liked to have been able to see his friends for real, but it was nice enough to see them on the screen eating the muffins and thanking him for dropping them off on the landing. 

They had a really good day: they cycled to Robbe's old flatshare to drop off the muffins and then they both went for a walk before going back and talking for a while with Milan, Zoé and Senne. And that afternoon, Sander spent more than an hour teasing Robbe because Robbe's phone thought it was good to offer him to _"relive your photos from a year ago"_ by showing Sander the screenshot Robbe had made of him, to Britt's instagram account. And Robbe was more than happy to let Sander tease him because he saw how surprised but proud Sander was to discover this, as if he only now realized that Robbe had fallen for him the moment he saw him.

After a wonderful day like that, Robbe really thought he was going to fall asleep right away, so he grunts looking at the ceiling because it's not the case. But no matter, tonight he decided he wouldn't get up. He doesn't want Sander to wake up alone again and look for him in the house so he can take him back to bed. He doesn't want Sander to think that he wants to be away from him or that he is the problem. Because the reality is that there is no problem. Except Robbe's brain, which seems to have forgotten how to sleep and stop thinking. Except for that little voice whispering in Robbe's mind that Sander will eventually get tired of him and he will eventually leave. Robbe really tries not to listen to it, but even if Jens thinks so, it must be really ineducable, right?

Robbe turns around in bed again and almost falls on the floor. He looks at the time on his cell phone and grunts. 2H42. He gets up, just to go to the toilet, but when he comes out of the toilet, he loses all good resolution and goes into the living room. He grabs his headphones, plugs in his console and plays. At least it prevents him from thinking he can't sleep. 

When he wakes up, he's in bed, in Sander's arms. Robbe sighs and hugs Sander who hugs him back. Sander looks at him but says nothing and Robbe thanks him with his best smile. 

Sander doesn't talk about it and doesn't say anything the next night when he picks up a sleeping Robbe while some buns are rising on the worktop. He's content to be a perfect, caring and loving boyfriend, which makes Robbe's guilt even worse.

''Do you guys want a coffee? I shouldn't, but I'll have another bun, it's too delicious, Robbe."

Robbe looks at his mother walking into the kitchen. They've just finished lunch and Robbe is so tired he really needs a cup of coffee.

''Can we have two teas please Nathalie. You know, this tea without tea."

''The Rooibos?''

''Yeah, perfect. Thanks.''

Robbe moans as he puts his head in his hands.

''I wanted coffee, babe.''

Sander gently strokes his cheek.

''It's not good for your insomnia. Do you want''

The doorbell on the front door makes them startle. Robbe looks at his mother who shrugs her shoulders and stands up. He grabs a mask from the entrance furniture and opens the door. 

"What are you doing here?"

Robbe looks at his father who steps back, apparently shocked by such a welcome and makes Robbe smile under his mask.

''I had to take some files into town, I wanted to know how you were doing. And how is your mother. Can I come in? Or do you want to come for a walk?"

Robbe shakes his head. He doesn't feel like seeing or talking to his father today.

''No, we were going out with Sander.''

The mask doesn't prevent you from seeing his father's frown.

''You must be serious, Robbe. Visits are allowed, but I don't think you respect the distances with Sander and''

''Stop dad! Sander is confined with us. He lives here."

"What?"

"Sander lives with us. He belongs here and you don't."

Robbe catches himself shouting. Two hands rest on Robbe's shoulders and gently pull him back.

''Robbe, come here. Hi Daniel."

''Hi Sander, I didn't expect to see you here. Are you really going to stay until the end of the lockdown? What if it lasts until the Christmas holidays? Do you really want to be away from your family? Robbe, you shouldn't have asked him to come and help you look after your mother. You should have told me that you needed help."

Sander holds Robbe gently against him, pulling him back a little.

''I wouldn't leave, sir. I'm staying with Robbe. As long as possible. He's my family. It was me who wanted to come and who had to convince Robbe. And Nathalie is not a burden to be taken care of. I'm really happy to be here with them."

Robbe feels the tears coming up and turns around to huddle up with Sander.

''I want to go home, babe.''

Sander nods and pulls Robbe inside.

"I'll ask Nathalie if she wants to see you."

Robbe already knows the answer and so does his father because he takes a step back.

''No, forget it. Thanks, Sander. Take good care of them. Robbe, I'll call you, OK?"

Robbe closes the door with his foot before he tears off his mask.

"Thanks, I didn't mean to"

Robbe sighs, not really knowing what to say, but it doesn't matter because Sander gently strokes his cheek, drying a tear under his eye that Robbe didn't think he had. 

''Go to your bedroom, I'll bring you your weird tea.''

Robbe nods and goes to his bedroom almost dragging his feet. He hears Sander talking to his mother and he hears his mother sighing, probably when she finds out who the surprise guest was. And then he hears the anxiety in Sander's voice and he immediately feels guilty.

He is barely sitting on his bed when Sander joins him and puts the two cups on the bedside table.

''Robbe, you're not well. Talk to me, or Jens, or your mother, it doesn't matter, but you have to talk about what's keeping you awake.''

Robbe bursts into tears and Sander holds him tight.

''It's all right, Robin. Everything is fine."

''I know! But I can't help thinking that it can't last."

Robbe starts sobbing and Sander gently strokes his back, giving him the time he needs.

"I'm so afraid of losing you that it scares me, Sander. The more we are together and the more I think you are so perfect, the more I tell myself that I could never live without you."

''That's exactly what I'm thinking, Robbe. I thought we were managing minute by minute?"

Robbe sighs as he rolls his eyes.

''Yes, I know. But I keep asking myself, How can we be sure that what we're feeling now is what we're going to feel for the rest of our lives? Right now you love me, but who's to say that tomorrow you'll do it again?"

''Nobody.''

Robbe sighs, a tear in the corner of your eye.

''Nobody can know, baby. My grandparents have been married for over 60 years while my aunt has been divorced twice. And yet, at every wedding, I swear she thought she had found the right one. No one can really know, but you might want to make it work. And I want to, baby. I want to be with you, so don't let fear get in the way. We're happy, focus on that. And when we're not, we'll try to make it work until we're happy again. It's you and me, 100% in all the universes.''

Robbe smiles and bends over to kiss Sander but he backs away.

''Did Jens tell you anything about this? He was weird the other day and it started after his call.''

Robbe takes too long to answer, hesitating between telling the truth and saying that everything is fine, which isn't really a lie, and he sees it quickly because Sander frowns.

''He said that _If you stick it out, I bet you'll never be able to live in two separate houses again._ It's the _"If you stick it out"_ It totally disturbed me. I was already thinking about it a lot, and I couldn't think of anything else...I think Chernobyl is never far from my mind. Sorry."

Sander bends over with a smile on his face.

''I thought we said : Fuck Chernobyl!''

Robbe smiles, bending over to kiss this cute, sweet and caring boyfriend. And he could spend hours kissing him, if Sander didn't back off after a few minutes.

''And I rather agree with Jens by the way.''

Robbe's face decays and Sander gently strokes his cheek.

''Except one word. It's not IF, but When. When we're done with the lockdown, we'll never be able to live in two different houses again.''

Robbe looks at him in shock.

''Do you want to move in with me?''

Sander takes a huge smile and nods.

''Yeah. I know you don't want to leave your mom alone, but maybe if we find an apartment on the street, you"

''I'm losing my mind after three days of living together and you want to live with me?''

Sander starts laughing as he caresses Robbe's hand in his.

''I love you, Robin, and of course I want to live with you. Now drink your weird tea without tea and then I'll take care of you."

Sander holds out his cup to Robbe and drinks his tea with a smile. He takes the empty cup from Robbe's hands and gets up to take them back to the kitchen.

''I'll be right back. Lie down on your stomach, shirtless, and I'll give you a massage worthy of an institute.''

Sander disappears and Robbe smiles, hesitates, but finally he does it. He doesn't see Sander's smile because his head is in the cushion, but he guesses it. Sander draws the curtains and closes the door before he gets something from the closet. Robbe looks up at the _Plop_ which indicates the opening of a bottle while the smell of lavender pervades the room.

"What's that?"

Sander points to his thighs and gently pushes his head against the cushion.

"Shhh...we're not talking here. It's a lavender massage oil. A gift from Milan to thank you for the muffins. He dropped off a package for you yesterday, but I'm the one designated to show you what's in it. So here is your first gift.''

Sander rubs his hands together before putting them on Robbe's back. He gently kneads his whole back from top to bottom and then his shoulders while Robbe moans softly. Sander puts a delicate kiss on his shoulder while Robbe's hands are trying to open his pants.

''It's just for you, baby, enjoy it''.

Sander sits on Robbe's buttocks, leans over him, gently kissing his back while continuing to massage Robbe's lower back.

''You are so amazing, Robbe. I love you so much."

Robbe hums in response as Sander's hands move up and down along his back.

''Sleep my baby. We're okay, I promise. This minute, just go to sleep."

Robbe knows his mouth is open but he doesn't even try to shut it. He just concentrates on Sander's hands and the kisses on his back.

''I'll come see you in your dreams.''


	7. Only remember the good times

_Friday 6 November, 8:52 am_

Robbe stretches before opening his eyes and realizes that he is alone in bed. He grabs his phone and sits on his bed in shock. It's almost 9 o'clock? How could he sleep so much? It must have been barely 2 p.m. when Sander massaged him. He couldn't have slept that much, could he?

He looks around. There is still the tube of massage oil on the bedside table but he is no longer wearing his jeans. He doesn't even remember when Sander took it off. He gets up, goes out into the hallway and the sound of the shower draws him to the bathroom door. 

Robbe smiles because he hears Bowie resonating, and most of all he hears an incredible guy singing and Robbe is sure that he is washing his hair because Sander always sings louder when he washes his hair.

Robbe hesitates, but as the house is still plunged in the darkness, he goes to the kitchen and grabs a knife in the drawer. He slides it into the lock and turns it to unlock the door. He enters slowly, being surprised by the cloud of mist that greets him and locks the door behind him before undressing. 

Sander is actually rinsing his hair, singing _Heroes_ , and it's a vision just divine. Robbe opens the shower door, which makes Sander startle and he lets out a surprised scream before laughing and pulling Robbe against him.

''Hello my groundhog. How are you?"

Robbe smiles as he pushes Sander's wet hair back before kissing him. Sander pulls him back even tighter, letting his hands run over Robbe's body.

''I'm really fine.''

''I think I'm going to open a massage institute.''

Robbe laughs and puts his forehead against Sander's.

''Thanks babe, I slept really well. And now I have a surprise for you."

Robbe puts both hands on Sander's cheeks and pulls him towards him to kiss him while positioning their faces under the jet of hot water. They kiss each other for a few minutes like this, until Robbe tries to catch his breath and half chokes.

''Shit! It was better in the pool. But happy birthday, babe."

Sander takes a huge smile, kissing Robbe again.

''Yeah. The first time I saw you naked, that's something to celebrate."

Robbe sighs as he rolls his eyes.

''I still can't believe you made me jump naked into a frozen pool. We were totally crazy."

Sander shakes his head, stroking Robbe's hair.

''Totally in love.''

Robbe takes a sad, sighing face in Sander's neck.

"I was so lost. When I think about what I did after that, I"

Sander pulls it back slightly so that he can look at it and shake his head again.

''Shhttt! I don't want you to think about that, okay? We both screwed up and I want us to remember only the good times. So today is the anniversary of our first kiss and we don't think about anything else, okay? The rest doesn't matter, Robbe. What's important is you and me, happy and in love forever."

Robbe takes a huge smile, gently caressing Sander's back.

"We are the future."

''Exactly! Now in this near future, am I allowed to enjoy my boyfriend's presence in my shower? I knew you'd show up eventually, you little rascal."

Robbe smiles as he lets his hands go down to Sander's cock and then gently caresses it.

''I could never resist a wet Sander and I'm sure we can be discreet.'' he whispers in Sander's ear, ''And then we don't do anything wrong.''

Sander gently pushes into Robbe's hand, letting his hands go down on Robbe's ass to squeeze him.

''It's quite the opposite. It can even be very good."

Robbe gently kisses Sander's neck before going down along his torso to his lower abdomen. He puts a few kisses along Sander's cock before looking at him the best he can, the dripping water drops force him to squint his eyes.

He licks Sander's cock and then sucks it without letting go of his eyes because he knows that Sander goes crazy when he does that. Sander takes a naughty smile and slides his thumb into Robbe's mouth, moaning, while letting his other hand slide through his hair to guide his head and encourage him to take it all in.

''Damn it, Robbe. It's so good."

Robbe licks him gently before taking just the tip in his mouth, letting his tongue twist around it, and smiles when he feels Sander's knees sag a bit.

Sander gently pulls his hair to stand up and flip him over at once, reminding him all too well of another birthday coming up in a few weeks. He gently kisses his back, letting his fingers slide inside Robbe as they kiss as best they can over Robbe's shoulder.

When Sander pushes inside him, Robbe feels his knees give way, but Sander holds him firmly against the back wall, covering his back and shoulders with kisses. Robbe feels his collar being pulled back and he could bet that Sander has just caught his angel with his teeth.

Sander moves inside him slowly and Robbe knows he won't last long. He raises his arm to be able to caress himself, but he taps the tap and the water immediately becomes icy, making them both scream with surprise.

Robbe stops the water but grabs Sander's hips to force him to continue. Sander places a hand over Robbe's mouth when he moans and Robbe thanks Bowie, who is still singing somewhere in the background, for hiding their satisfied moans.

Sander's other hand slips down to Robbe' sex and caresses it just as quickly as Sander moves inside him. Robbe gently bites Sander's hand when he hears him moan in his ear. Sander is startled and removes his hand with a hoarse moan.

"Fuck, Robbe."

Robbe looks at the trace on Sander's finger and his cheeks become even redder than a few seconds ago.

''Sorry. Sorry, but''

Sander hits his ass harder and this time Robbe bites his own hand to muffle his moan. Sander's hand is placed on his neck, forcing him to tilt his head back a little and Robbe starts panting under the pressure of Sander's hand on his throat.

"It's okay?"

Robbe turns his head slightly to see Sander kissing him on the cheek and he closes his eyes.

"Yes. Fuck me."

Sander withdraws completely before coming back into him, holding him in place only by the throat and Robbe leaves his head resting completely on Sander's shoulder now, letting his back take a rounded angle. Sander starts again twice and then stops at the bottom and starts moaning while biting Robbe's neck.

''Fuck, you...so good.''

Robbe can't tell if it's Sander's hoarse, breathless voice that makes him come, or if it's the feeling of it coming into him, and he doesn't give a damn because it's just too good. He really has to make a superhuman effort to stand up properly because he feels like he's drained of all energy and he just wants to go back to bed now and sleep in Sander's arms. It's only when Sander turns the water back on so they can wash themselves, Robbe realizes that they have been there for a while.

''We weren't exactly discreet, right?''

Sander chuckles and shrugs his shoulders while lathering up the shampoo on Robbe's head.

''Don't worry, baby. Your mom was still asleep when I came in for a shower, and nothing can ruin our day, okay? We are doing absolutely nothing wrong...and we are not in the kitchen. She didn't say anything about the bathroom."

Robbe nods before he rinses off and decides Sander is right. They are going to have a wonderful day... and then Robbe has a special gift for Sander today.

''Robbe, Sander, I'd like to take a shower. Is there any hot water left?''

Robbe looks at the bathroom door, already feeling his cheeks turning red.

''Yeah, there is some left. We're going out in 5 minutes."

''OK. Thanks Coffee is ready. I'm glad you slept well, Robbe.I hope you feel better."

Robbe ties the towel around his waist and smiles at Sander. Nothing will spoil the day.

"Thanks mom. Yeah, I feel really good today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow...the continuation of this anniversary day...with a well rested, happy and naughty Robbe...


	8. All the way or no way

_Friday 6 November, 1:41 PM_

Robbe looks at Sander who is sitting on the couch, quietly drinking his coffee and drawing something. Robbe pulls out his phone, takes a picture of it and opens his messages.

_To Sander 1h42pm_

_I have a present for you_ 🥳💝 _  
_

Robbe smiles, putting his elbows on the kitchen counter while he watches Sander put down his drawing and takes his phone out of his pocket. Sander looks at him smiling and then refocuses back to his screen. Robbe finishes filling the dishwasher and turns back to his vibrating phone.

_Sander 1h43 pm_

_I only want one gift._  
_And you know it._  
_You 🖤_

Robbe looks at Sander, trying to be discreet, but he meets his amused gaze before responding.

_To Sander 1h44pm_

_Good, that's what I was going to offer you_ 😇

Sander sits a little more on the couch with a sweet smile.

_Sander 1h45 pm_

_Oh yeah?_ 😈 _  
_

"Robbe, can you pass me the dirty dish , please?"

Robbe is startled and drops his phone which crashes on the worktop. He grabs the dish and hands it to his mother while Sander starts laughing. Robbe gives him a black look before putting his cell phone in his pocket. He turns around to wipe off the pan and takes a huge smile, which Sander doesn't see, when he feels his cell phone vibrating in his pocket.

_Sander 1h47 pm_

_Tell me more about this gift story_  
_Please_ 🥺 🥺

Robbe looks at him and Sander gives him a begging pout and puppy eyes as he leans over his phone again.

_To Sander 1h49pm_

_Ok...it's a foretaste..._

Now he can't turn back. He sends the picture of him naked, wrapped in a feather boa, just revealing his ass, which he took last Saturday, thanks to the camera's self-timer, and crosses his fingers not to look too stupid.

Sander chokes on a sip of his coffee and this time it's Robbe who starts laughing. He puts his phone down on the worktop while he wipes the dish his mother hands him, but he regrets it when he hears the cell phone vibrating. His mother turns her head slightly but doesn't even look at the phone.

"I think I'll go for a little walk and leave you two alone," she says with a smile. "Maybe that will give you a chance to talk in person and not through your phones. It's a nice day, it'll be good for me to walk."

Robbe puts the dish in the cupboard and picks up his phone with a smile.

_Sander 1h52 pm_

_Fuck, you're going to kill me!_  
_Oh my God, you're so beautiful!_  
_This is going to be my new wallpaper picture!_

''Sander, no!''

Robbe puts a hand in front of his mouth, not coming back from shouting so loudly before Sander is only a few meters away from him. His mother starts laughing and puts on her coat.

''Okay, see you guys later. Drop your phones!"

The door closes and Sander immediately jumps off the couch.

''I have a fucking boner because of you. Fuck, come here."

He pulls Robbe towards him, kissing him dirty, letting their cocks rub together, immediately waking Robbe's cock.

''Bedroom. Immediately."

Sander nods and passes in front of Robbe who takes the opportunity to jump on his back laughing. Sander grabs the back of his thighs and carries him to the bedroom, laughing even harder than Robbe. Sander tries to throw Robbe on the bed but Robbe breaks away from him for digging into his closet.

"Robbe..."

''Just two seconds, babe. I have it."

Robbe pulls out a red gift-wrapped box that he's been keeping here for almost a month and another, smaller one that makes him blush immediately. But before he hesitates, he turns around and joins Sander in handing him both presents.

''Robbe...what''

''Shtt, it's not a big deal. I just wanted to mark the occasion. I've never had a first anniversary yet. I don't even know if you think of it as today, but''

Sander kisses him then sits on Robbe's bed with a big smile and takes the biggest gift Robbe hands him but puts it next to him.

"I also consider it our anniversary. It's been a year since I've been thinking only of you. I know I didn't always show it afterwards and I screwed up, but"

Robbe shakes his head and puts his index finger on Sander's mouth.

''We said happy moments. Okay? So... November 6 will definitely be our date.''

Sander removes his finger so that he can kiss Robbe again before looking at the gift on the bed.

''I have something for you too, but I have to wait until tonight. Don't you want me to wait to open mine?"

Robbe shakes his head and laughs.

''No. There's a gift in there that we can use right away. I mean, if you want."

Robbe feels his cheeks blush while he knows there is no reason and he hates his fair skin that lets all his emotions show. Sander tears the paper faster than it takes time to say it and frowns when he takes out a flat cardboard box.

"This one is just because I love you."

Sander delicately opens the cardboard and his face becomes radiant when he sees the vinyl clock with his idol that Robbe has found. Sander runs his finger over the sentence '' I don't know where I m going from here but I promise it won't be boring'' written on it in white, right next to Bowie's face.

''I thought it would be perfect in your bedroom, but if we live together, I think it would be perfect in our living room.''

Sander looks at Robbe with a beautiful smile and nods before pulling him towards him to kiss him.

''You are so perfect, my angel. How did I get so lucky?"

Robbe laughs and gets up to put the clock on his desk before coming back and giving him the smaller box.

''That's...I thought we could try something new for the occasion. I mean, if you want."

Sander frowns and tears the paper before standing there gawking. Robbe looks at him and suddenly he feels really stupid.

''Okay, forget it. Sorry."

He tries to take the box from Sander's hands but Sander pushes him away.

''Are you joking? You offer me this and you want it back? No way. I love it, baby. I can't believe you ordered this."

Robbe smiles and shakes his head.

"No, I went to a store and"

''Have you been to a sex shop? Like, for real?"

Robbe nods his cheeks even redder than the day he walked into that store. Actually no, probably not. He can never have redder cheeks than that day.

''Yeah. I didn't know what to pick, I didn't want to pick something too weird so I thought it would be nice to get a more professional opinion. It was pretty cool. Very informative. Super awkward but fun.''

Sander laughs softly and kisses Robbe again.

''You're amazing. Do you know how much Milan would have loved to help you choose?''

Robbe rolls his eyes before looking at Sander.

''Yeah. Maybe he was with me and he did help me a bit. You know what they say: All the way or no way."

Sander stops and Robbe laughs at his astonished face.

''Who are you and what have you done with my shy boyfriend?''

Robbe looks up to the sky as he climbs onto Sander's lap.

''You know I'm not shy.''

Sander nods, pulling Robbe's lower lip with his teeth.

''Oh yes, I know that. Do you want to try it on?''

Robbe nods, letting his hands slide under Sander's shirt to remove it. Sander opens the box and looks at Robbe again.

''I can't believe you went to a sex shop with Milan.''

Robbe hits him gently on the shoulder and grunts.

''If you talk about Milan again, I'll leave this room.''

Sander suddenly turns around, taking Robbe with him so he can push him against the mattress.

''I'll never let you go, you little rascal. I love you too much for that. Ok, so...you or me?"

Robbe gently unbuttoned Sander's pants caressing him through his underwear before releasing him.

''You. I have one last surprise for you."

Sander gets up to take off his jeans and boxer short and Robbe sits down on the bed so he can suck it off gently before placing the vibrating ring around him and turning it on, taking it back into his mouth.

"Mmmhhh...you're so...I don't deserve all this, Robin."

Robbe looks up to see Sander letting his head go back and smiles as he lets go of his dick.

"You haven't seen anything yet."

Robbe stands up, takes off his shirt without taking his eyes off Sander and then gently unbutton his jeans and he sees exactly when his boyfriend's eyes widen as he puts his hands on the elastic bands of the jockstrap.

''How long have you been wearing that? Oh, fuck, Robbe."

Sander's hands take off his jeans and caress Robbe's bare buttocks before grabbing the elastic bands. Sander's breathing accelerates slightly and Robbe knows it's not just because of the vibrating ring.

''How long have you been wearing that?''

Robbe takes a big naughty smile as he moves closer to Sander's ear to be able to whisper.

"Since this morning."

Sander moans and gently pushes Robbe so that he falls on the bed before grabbing his legs and gently spreads them to get in the middle.

''Damn. I want you so much. You're driving me totally crazy. And you fucking know it."

Sander gently kisses Robbe's dick, through the red fabric, before going up to kiss him again, placing his cock, which is still vibrating, against Robbe's cock. Robbe moans and grabs Sander's fingers which he slides into his mouth before sucking them and then guides Sander's hand to his hole. It doesn't take long before he is ready and asks for more.

''Make me vibrate, Sander.''

His voice breaks when he says his name and Sander moans in response. He gently enters Robbe, but the vibration makes the touch more sensitive and Robbe blows gently to get used to it.

''Are you okay? Do you want me to stop it?"

Robbe shakes his head, moving slightly while watching Sander waiting patiently. Robbe knows how difficult, almost overwhelming it is to wait like that so he grabs Sander's lips, gently scratching his back.

"Ok, come on."

Sander pushes a little more and waits slowly before continuing and being completely inside. He moans when the ring changes the speed of the vibrations.

''Oh shit. Robbe, you are...wow"

Robbe smiles as he removes his hand from the ring and gently guides Sander's hips into him. Robbe's dick comes out halfway through the fabric and the friction it causes just drives him completely crazy. They make love gently, fingers intertwined, whispering words of love and losing all sense of time. 

After a while, Sander straightens up a little to watch Robbe and snaps the elastic of the joskstrap against Robbe's skin and moans at the sound of it.

"Do you like it?"

Sander looks at Robbe as if he doesn't understand that he is asking the question and it fills Robbe's heart with an incredible number of feelings that he never thought he would feel with a simple look. 

''Fuck, you drive me crazy, Robbe. You're so sexy. So beautiful."

Sander's cock touches that magical fucking organ inside Robbe one more time and Robbe comes, groaning, squeezing around him. Sander continues to move and gently caresses the wet fabric.

''You're so fucking hot. So sexy.''

Robbe reopens his eyes and looks into Sander's eyes.

"So much yours."

Sander moans, lying down on Robbe while grabbing his shoulders so he can get inside him faster and deeper.

"Say it again."

Robbe grabs Sander's earlobe to suck it before releasing him.

''I'm yours.''

Sander comes hard, moaning against Robbe's shoulder.

"I'm yours too.''


	9. This day is still far from over

_Friday 6 November, 3:16 pm_

Robbe wakes up with a start because of his phone. He immediately notices that Sander is still asleep so he jumps out of bed to grab his phone and picks it up without even looking at the caller. It is only when he meets Jens' eyes that he realizes that he has just accepted a video call. 

"Shit! Wait a minute!"

Robbe gets out of bed and then realizes that he's only wearing his jockstrap. He doesn't have time to think that Jens puts his hand in front of his eyes.

''Damn Robbe, the mirror behind you. Since when have you been wearing things like that? Oh fuck no, don't say anything. But why do you pick up the phone when you're naked?''

"Shhh! Shut up!"

Robbe doesn't have time to grab a tee-shirt, than hands pull him into bed and he falls backwards, dropping his phone which falls on the bedroom floor.

''How dare you get out of this bed? I keep you prisoner until the end of time."

Sander kisses him before pecking his neck with kisses, causing Robbe to twist and release a high-pitched laugh.

"Okay, I'll leave you guys alone."

Robbe jumps and turns around to grab the phone on the floor.

"Sorry."

Sander lies down next to Robbe and appears on the screen.

"Hi Jens!"

Jens takes a big smile and raises his hand to say hello.

"Hi Sander. I came to see how you both are doing, but I guess I have the answer.''

''Yeah.'' confirms Sander ''We're fine. Very fine, in fact. How about you?''

"I'm fine. We were thinking of organizing a video aperitif this evening, you're in?"

Robbe nods but Sander shakes his head.

"No sorry, we can't tonight, we have plans."

Jens starts laughing but stops when he sees Sander's serious face.

"Really?"

Sander nods and smiles.

"Yeah, definitely. Sorry.''

Jens sighs and it's clear that he's looking at Robbe on the screen.

''Can't you move it?''

Sander shakes his head while rolling his eyes.

''No." answer Sander "Today is our first anniversary, Jens. Can I see you tomorrow?"

Jens frowns and moves closer to his phone.

''First anniversary? Really? But I thought it was later. I thought you said"

''Yeah.'' Sander cut him off ''We're celebrating our first kiss. So we schedule a skype drink tomorrow?"

Jens smiles and nods, giving a wink that Robbe doesn't really know how to interpret.

''Okay, I'll let the others know. Celebrate this well then. 1 year. I don't fucking believe it.1 year and you look like you're on your honeymoon. You guys are unbelievable. Shit, Aaron's calling me. I'll see you tomorrow. 8h pm! I'll text you back, I don't want to see your ass again, bro!''

Robbe shows him his middle finger laughing before cutting off the conversation. Sander gently taps Robbe's ass before kissing his ear.

''He really doesn't know anything about it, your ass is the prettiest in the world.''

Robbe rolls his eyes as he stands up.

"I'm not going to speak with you about how my best friend sees my ass."

Robbe takes off his sticky underwear, almost regretting that he fell asleep too fast to take it off and then takes out one rainbow-colored jockstrap.

''Do you have more than one?''

Robbe raises his eyebrows before taking a big smile and taking the pile out of his closet.

''Yeah, I couldn't decide. I got five. Milan gave me this one 'cause he was, quote : _so proud of my gay baby_."

Sander gets up out of bed right away and pulls a black one from the pile.

''Can I put this one on? I've never tried that and"

''Hell, yeah. I'm going to imagine you in there all afternoon. This day is just perfect. Okay, I'm gonna take a quick shower."

Sander starts laughing as he picks up his clothes from the floor.

''Your mother will make us pay for the water.''

Robbe puts on a pair of jogging bottoms and laughs as he walks out, holding his clean clothes in his arms.

''Yeah. I think she'll be happy when I tell her I want to move with you."

''What?"

Robbe jumped up, dropped his stuff on the floor and turned around to see his mother staring at him frowning, taking off her coat.

''uh no...well if... we...eh...''

"Take your showers and come on, we'll talk about it all three., okay?"

Robbe picks up his stuff and disappears into the bathroom, not really knowing what to think. What if his mother felt abandoned? What if she thought Robbe was tired of living with her? What if she got angry and didn't want Robbe to leave?

''Oh, Robin, it's gonna be okay, all right? We are just going to talk between adults. Maybe you can participate too."

Robbe is sticking his tongue out at Sander because he knows he hates it when he teases him about his age.

"Only 9 months left and I'll be an adult too. No more jokes."

Sander shakes his head and laughs.

''I'll always be two years older than you so I'll always be allowed to tease you about your age.''

''Okay old man, let's go to the gulag.''

Sander shakes his head and chuckles as he kisses Robbe. He seems so convinced that everything will go well that it's almost contagious...almost.

His mother sits on the couch and smiles so tenderly at them that Robbe feels all his anxiety disappear. Sander gently pushes him to sit in the armchairs and he sits on the armrest.

''Ok...so, you want to live together?''

Robbe looks at his mother and gently nods.

''Yeah. We're thinking about it. We haven't decided anything, Mom, we're just talking about it."

His mom rolls her eyes before she sighs.

''As long as Sander walked through the door at the beginning of the lockdown, I was sure it would end like that, but I didn't think we'd talk about it after a week. But since it's your anniversary, I''

"How do you know it's our anniversary?

Robbe looks at his mother, really astonished, as she smiles.

''Sander told me about this even''

Robbe doesn't miss the gesture of Sander telling his mother to shut up and his mother pinching her lips to stop talking.

''Okay, that's not the point. Then how did you imagine this?"

Robbe just shrugs his shoulders, always wondering why Sander is talking about their birthday with his mother.

''We thought we'd find an apartment not far from here to be there if you need us.'' says Sander.

Robbe watches his mother shake her head with a sigh and he knows she'll never say yes.

''That's not what I was talking about. I don't want you to take care of me. I was talking about more than one financial and organization point of view. Do you want to go back to the flatshare you were in or get a place just the two of you? Studio? Two rooms? Do you need a room for Sander to draw in? How are you going to manage your schools as well as shopping, cleaning or laundry?''

Robbe raises hie shoulders while lowering his eyes.

''We didn't think about that, mom. We just started talking about it. I was just saying that with a laugh earlier. Can we just talk about it later?"

The truth is that Robbe doesn't want his mother to show him today that they won't be able to do it.

''If you want, yes, but you should know that I'm completely okay with that, if you really think about it, and if Sander's parents agree of course. Your father paid your rent to the flatshare, he'll be able to help you financially, I even think he'd be happy to do it just so that you make peace with him. You should call him, by the way, now that you're better. Your aunt wants to come back to Antwerp in January and she asked me to come and live with me. I told her no, because I didn't want to force you to live with two 50-year-old women, but if you're no longer here, I think she'll be happy to come home with me. Besides, I've always dreamed of finishing my old age watching silly shows while eating ice cream with my sister. She's going to be so happy that she'll be able to pay your rent.''

Robbe is speechless. He would never have thought it so simple.

''Wait? What? That's all? Do you really agree?''

Robbe looks at his mother, who's half laughing and rolling her eyes.

"Of course I agree. You took care of me when it wasn't your job, and you're still doing it. You lived alone, even though you were with your friends, when I couldn't be with you, so I know you can handle it. If it makes you happy, it's fine with me, that's all."

Robbe looks at Sander with a huge smile on his face. Sander was absolutely right, nothing can ruin their day. 

And this day is still far from over.


	10. You and me

_Friday 6 November, 7:49 pm._

Robbe sighs as he looks at his mother. There's something weird here. He can't really describe what's going on, but there's something weird. He didn't say anything when his mother asked him for help because she was trying to find a deleted file on her computer. But after 20 minutes of searching, the file is just not found and yet his mother doesn't seem surprised.

''Sorry mom, I can't find anything. This is really weird."

His mother shrugs her shoulders and smiles.

''You know what, never mind, Robbe, it's not a big deal.''

Robbe closes the computer, wondering if he needs to worry about his mother's sudden change of mood. Twenty minutes ago he absolutely had to find that damn file and now she doesn't care.

''Sorry, it's untraceable. Okay, what do you want to eat tonight? I thought I'd make a pizza."

His mother's shaking her head and smiles.

''Don't bother with the food, it's already done.''

Robbe frowns as she gets up. He hasn't seen his mother cook all day and he knows they don't have any leftovers lying around because they finished it at lunch.

"Stop always wanting to control everything and let yourself live a little, Robbe."

Robbe rolls his eyes and sighs.

''I don't want to control everything, Mom, I just want to''

''Oh yes, you do. You've always hated surprises and unexpected things. You have never been able to react calmly. It's as if your brain starts reacting way too quickly to an unfamiliar situation. So just relax, okay? Just relax, enjoy yourself and don't think about anything else."

Robbe doesn't have time to ask more questions than a knock on the door.

"I think this is for you, Robbe."

The door opens and Sander enters, dressed in a beautiful black shirt with a white piping. He takes a huge smile as he looks at Robbe and reaches out his hand in a theatrical gesture that makes Robbe's eyes roll.

''If Mr. Robbe is ready, we have a reservation at 8pm in your favorite restaurant.''

Robbe follows him with a smile. He would have liked so much to be able to really go out with Sander tonight. Sander pulls Robbe out of his mother's room and guides him to his bedroom. Robbe wondering why Sander is taking him there now, but Sander open the door and Robbe's completely speechless. He even looks at the door to make sure it is his bedroom.

On the walls there are all the drawings that summarize their story. Robbe knows that most of them were drawn during the first manic episode he had with Sander and he remembers how he had to argue with Sander not to throw them in the garbage. Sander didn't want these drawings to remind him of the condition he was in, whereas Robbe found them to be the best proof of Sander's love for him. So when he looks at the walls of his bedroom and sees all his drawings, he finds it just unbelievable.

But he doesn't have time to spend too much time on it because he looks at the shack in the center of his room. There is a fucking shack made of sheets and blankets in the middle of his room and inside there are two spaces: towards the entrance there is a coffee table with two cushions on each side and at the end there are so many cushions that Robbe wonders where Sander could find them because he didn't think he had so many in this house.

"Come in, baby, this is for you."

Robbe laughs as he notices that he has indeed stopped on the doorstep. He enters and bends over a little so that he can enter the shack before sitting on the cushion that Sander shows him.

''Okay, it's a bit like a Japanese restaurant, but I just called your favorite restaurant, as I couldn't take you there."

Sander puts some bags on the coffee table that Robbe immediately recognizes from Manhattn's Burger. Sander slightly moves a yellow cloth from the hut and attaches it to the purple cloth. And thanks to that, they are really in a shack now, totally cut off from the rest of the room. Cut off from the rest of the world.

''Sander, it's too much. You've got.''

Sander shakes his head and smiles, settling down in front of Robbe.

''Nothing's too much for you, baby. I would have preferred to be able to go out with you outside, but since that's impossible, the restaurant comes to us.''

Sander puts two beers on the table, followed by two burgers, including Robbe's favorite, and fries.

''Sander, you are amazing.''

Robbe leans over the table so he can kiss Sander and laughs at his own clumsiness when he misses spilling the beers. He knows he moans too loudly when he bites the burger but it's just too good.

''Fuck, I missed it so much. This is definitely the best burger in the world."

Sander nods with a smile, taking a fry in Robbe's packet when he hasn't touched his yet, and Robbe watches him do it with a smile.

"Is that why you talked about it with my mom?"

Sander rolls his eyes while smiling.

''Oh, Robbe... don't tell me you've been thinking about it all afternoon...''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders in response, preferring to steal fries from Sander's packet.

''Yes, that's why.'' laughs Sander ''Don't worry, I ordered his dinner as well as ours. I just needed her to distract you while I set all this up."

Robbe looks at the shack again. A light garland runs inside and Robbe is already looking forward to lying down with Sander on all the cushions that are placed right next to him.

''It's unbelievable, it's really beautiful.''

''I think so too.''

Robbe looks at Sander who looks at him and strokes his cheek.

''I mean it every time I look at you: You are really beautiful, Robin. I still can't believe how lucky I'm."

Robbe feels his cheeks turn red and bends over a little in Sander's hand. Sander strokes his cheek a little with his thumb and then withdraws his hand and Robbe pouting, which makes the brunette smile in front of him.

They eat while laughing, talking about everything and nothing and then Sander pushes the table out of the shack. Just when Robbe thinks he can finally cuddle Sander in the cushions, he leaves the shack.

"Don't move, I'll be back."

Robbe's wallow in the corner with a million cushions, and find himself half seated, as if he were a pasha on a cloud. Sander comes back with a gift in his arms and sits down right next to him so he can kiss him before handing him the gift.

''It's just because I love you. Happy anniversary.''

Robbe kisses him again before looking at the package. And he's stunned.

''Have you been to Lockwood?''

Sander nods his head, proud of himself.

''Yeah! Can you believe it? You see, anything can happen out of love."

Robbe already opens the envelope that is hung on the package. Inside, there is a picture of him on a skateboard. And frankly, no matter how much he thinks about it,he doesn't remember when Sander was able to take this picture. There's a second one, where he's sitting on top of a ramp with the guys. On the third one there is Noor talking to them and Robbe frowns when he looks at Sander because there he knows exactly when his pictures are from, and it was before the vacations when he met Sander.

''How did you do it?"

Sander takes a huge smile.

''I could already see you, Robbe. We bumped into each other that day at the skatepark and I couldn't help but take your picture. You were so beautiful. You're so beautiful."

Robbe smiles, refrains from teasing Sander by calling him a stalker and pulls him towards him to kiss him.

''Come on, open your real present.''

Robbe smiles without leaving Sander's lips.

"You are my real present."

Sander grabs the package from Robbe's lap and laughs.

"Ok, then I'll take it back."

Robbe catches the package and opens it, never coming back from knowing that Sander went to that specialty store just for him. He never even asked Sander to go with him there, thinking that he wouldn't find any interest in admiring skateboards. And there, wrapped in the green gift wrap paper, Robbe discovers a amazing skateboard. 

On top of it, is a drawing by Sander, representing all the locks of the couples hanging on the love wall in the center of Antwerp and their own in the middle, in a shiny grey with the inscription ''R&S'' inside a heart.

"It's fucking beautiful."

Robbe turns the board and discovers the other side of the padlocks and their own with the inscription ''in all universes.''

''It's too beautiful, Sander. Thanks. It's just''

Robbe immediately sees the Low trucks of the brand _Independent_ , his favorite brand, as well as spitfire wheels 52MM, 99A. And then Robbe realizes that Sander couldn't just copy what he has on his current skateboard, because Robbe didn't have that configuration yet. And there's only one person who knew he want to change from MiD to Low to be able to go faster on the skatepark ramp."

''Did you go to Lockwood with Jens?''

Sander chuckles and nods.

''Yeah. Milan wouldn't have helped me much in a store like that."

Robbe laughs as he pulls Sander towards him to kiss him. 

''You're so great. Thank you, my love. I'm the one who is so lucky."

Sander strokes his cheek and Robbe looks at the board again.

''It's amazing. That's exactly what...'' and that's when it tilts in Robbe's mind, so he turns to Sander and frowns, ''If Jens knew about our anniversary, why was he surprised we weren't available tonight... he said you said...''

Sander nods with a smile.

''Yeah. Maybe I told him it was the end of November? Like the 29th? He's certainly going to tease us about not thinking about the same date by the way.''

Robbe tries to think as quickly as possible, but he knows that that's not the day he found Sander at the art school.

''You and me. One hundred percent, forever. In every universe...does that remind you of anything?''

Robbe smiles and puts the skateboard next to him so he can sits on Sander's lap.

''Yeah, I think I vaguely remember something like that.''

Sander laughs, peppering Robbe's face with kisses.

''So... did you want us to celebrate our anniversary on that date instead of today? Why didn't you say so?"

Sander shakes his head, moving slightly so that his torso is totally stuck against Robbe.

''No, we gain three weeks with your idea. And then in 60 years, a few days of difference won't matter, right?"

Robbe smiles, hugging himself against Sander.

''And then'' continues Sander ''I'll marry you on November 29th, so you'll remember the date and we'll celebrate both, okay?''

Robbe nods and then bursts out laughing so hard that Sander pulls him back to look at him.

''What? What did I say?"

"I thought you wanted to get married naked? In November you won't really be in your advantage?"

Sander pushes Robbe so that he falls down lying next to him and straddles him.

''You are so boring.''

Robbe shakes his head and laughs.

''You don't even mean it.''

Sander takes a big smile, stealing a tiny kiss from him.

"That's true, I don't think it. And then you're wrong, it's not true, I'm always in my advantage."

Robbe raises a naughty eyebrow by pulling on Sander's lip with his teeth.

''I'll have to check that right now.''

Robbe lets his hands wander under Sander's pants, taking the elastic from his underwear and going down a little further to caress his ass. Sander moves closer to him, already moaning impatiently in his mouth.


	11. We just wanted to play

_Saturday 7 November, 8:01 pm_

"Go ahead, I'm coming!"

Robbe launches the connection and immediately sees Jens, Moyo, Yasmina, Luca and Amber.

''I won!'' shouts Jens, smiling, ''I was sure Aaron would be the last!''

''He's always the last!'' laughs Moyo.

"Sander isn't here either!" remarks Amber ''It's a pity that Zoé and Senne have wifi problems."

"I imagine Milan in confinement without internet." Robbe laughs. "I pity Zoe and Senne. By the way, Sander's in the kitchen so he's coming."

''That doesn't count.'' laughs Luca ''So the competition isn't over yet.''

Robbe rolls his eyes but at the same time he sees Sander pushing the door of their room, carrying a tray full of things to nibble. He turns the camera on the computer, laughing.

"Aaron is definitely the last one!''

Sander puts the tray down before he sits down on the chair next to Robbe and greets everyone.

"So?" asks Jens ''How did you find your present, Robbe?"

''What present?'' asks Amber.

''Why did he get a present and not me?'' asks Luca.

Robbe gets up and fetches his new skateboard which he shows on the screen.

''It was our first anniversary yesterday with Sander. She's so great. I spent an hour in the skate park this afternoon, it was great. Until the little bastards came and the cops showed up. Anyway, I can't wait to do more."

Aaron finally connects and everybody applauds him because he's the last one.

''Hey, everybody. Hey, I'm not even the last one, looks like. I should be thanking Kato."

Moyo frowns and shakes his head.

''She couldn't make it tonight. Come on, let's play. Ready?"

They're playing online poker while discussing their days, drinking and eating. Aaron eats his pizza and then complains about putting tomato sauce on his keyboard, making Amber roll her eyes.

The girls are desperate to make a scrabble so they play laughing, trying to make up words that don't exist so they can win points. Robbe goes back to fetch beers twice before sitting down next to Sander.

Finally, it's around 11pm that the girls disconnect, one by one and only the guys are left.

''Ok, now that the Brooerrs are all here, we're going to make a real game, especially for you, lovers. To find out if you really know each other as well as you seem to say you do.''

Robbe shakes his head, looking up at the sky and then looks at Jens who looks pretty drunk, and probably high as he smokes his second joint.

''What? Why?"

''You didn't even agree on the date you've been in a relationship.''

Robbe sighs and Sander turns to kiss him.

''I told you he would tease us.'' He kisses him softly and then turns to the camera. ''That slight detail doesn't mean anything, we know each other perfectly.''

''Okay. So Robbe, you go out for two minutes, while Sander fills in a questionnaire and then we ask you the questions. For every wrong answer you have a drink and for every right answer, we drink. Go and get some shoots.''

Robbe rolls his eyes again.

''But why would we do that?''

''Come on Robbe!'' says Moyo ''You should trust your couple enough to do this. Look, I've already prepared my shoots."

"Come on!" Aaron begs, "This vacation is so boring!"

''We can do this, baby. This could be fun."

Robbe grunts but nods.

"Okay.''

Robbe kisses him before leaving the room and goes to the kitchen to get two small glasses and vodka. It doesn't take long before Sander calls him again and Robbe doesn't know if he has to worry or not that it lasted so short.

Robbe sits on Sander's lap and Sander puts his hands on his thighs, gently caressing them to relax him.

''It's going to be okay, baby, it's''...

''Eh!'' scolded Moyo ''No whispering or we'll separate you from the room! One does not cheat.''

''I never cheat!'' defends Sander by raising his hands in front of him.

Aaron starts laughing and Moyo raises an eyebrow showing that he doesn't agree.

''Oh shut up you idiots!'' moans Robbe ''OK, go ahead Jens, I'm ready.''

Jens takes a big smile.

''Okay, let's start easy. What is his full name?"

"Sander Eelke Driesen."

Robbe watches his friends drinking and laughing and then Jens smiles again.

''Okay, harder. Your full name.''

Robbe sighs shaking his head, already ready to drink.

''He doesn't know that.''

Sander gives him a grunt elbow.

"Hey! You could at least give me the benefit of the doubt. Go ahead, answer."

Robbe rolls his eyes.

"Robbe, Clemens, Jeroen, Guus IJzermans."

Sander takes a huge smile and Jens sighs.

"OK, Sander has good."

Robbe turns around, surprised and look at Sander.

"How did you know?"

Sander takes his smug face as he knows how to do so well.

"I know everything about you, baby."

Robbe bends over to kiss him and the kiss soon becomes too heated to share in front of the audience.

''OK, stop! We're not here to see porn."

''Next question!'' Aaron calls out.

''Apart from Sander, who else would you fuck, among the guys here tonight?''

Robbe sighs and looks at Sander, hoping his answer won't hurt him. He knows that Sander isn't jealous of the crush he had on Jens, but it's still weird. But since he has answered this question in the past, he can't really change the answer.

"Jens."

Jens winks at him and Robbe shows him his middle finger.

"OK, we're going to die dry here," laughs Sander when they all drink.

''Do you want to get married?''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and sighs. 

''I don't know. Maybe"

One or two years ago he would have said no without hesitation. But since he's been with Sander, he can't help thinking that maybe one day he will. It's not that he really believes in the institution of marriage, but Sander does, so maybe he will do it for him.

Sander sighs and takes a shot.

''I said yes. Don't worry, I was thirsty anyway. Cheers, baby."

Robbe drinks himself into a pout, can't help but see the disappointment on Sander's face.

''You know I love you, but I don't think so''

''I know. Don't worry. I'll be able to change your mind and they'll all laugh at you on our wedding day. And maybe it's already better than not."

Sander kisses him gently and Robbe puts his arms around him for a hug.

''I hate them.''

"We can hear you so good!" grumbles Aaron.

"Ok'' resumes Jens ''Let's stay in the same spirit. Do you want a kids?"

Robbe nods with a smile and Jens raises his glass.

''What does Sander do that you like the most?''

Robbe frowns, not really knowing what he has to understand in that.

"What do you mean?"

"What does he do that you love that he does?"

Robbe rubs his chin while looking at his friends.

''What kind of question is that? In everyday life? Are we talking about a gesture, an attention or something sexual?

Jens shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''Whatever you want. Whatever comes to mind first."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders in turn.

''I like it when he touches me to reassure me. He puts his hand flat on my back, or he strokes my knee, or even when he plays with my necklace. He knows that it reassures me and I like that he knows exactly when I need him to reassure me."

''Damn it!'' grumbles Jens when he raises his glass ''I'm sure you're cheating.''

''We're watching you!'' laughs Moyo while drinking.

Robbe takes a huge smile because he knows they don't cheat.

''Ok, harder: What does Sander do that makes you angry.''

Robbe shakes his head.

''You guys don't mess up my relationship. I don't answer questions like that."

Sander giggles next to him and Robbe rolls his eyes.

''Sander gave us an answer.'' says Jens.

Robbe looks at his wonderful boyfriend then looks at his friends and sighs.

''You're a pain in the ass, guys. I don't know. I don't like it when he loses track of time when he's drawing and forgets to warn me and I get worried."

Through the screen Robbe sees Sander frowning and he knows he is wrong.

''Sander says : Robbe doesn't like it when I steal the whole cover."

Robbe rolls his eyes smiling, taking a shoot.

''Yeah, that's true too. He always takes all the blankets, it's unbearable."

''You're the one who takes them off all the time!'' Sander defends himself before he drink. ''So you don't like it when I get lost in my drawings? I thought you liked to see me so passionate?"

''I just don't like it when you forget to warn me and it worries me, that's all. Sorry.''

''Okay, next question. Let's start the interesting stuff." warns Jens ''What's your favorite position?"

Robbe rolls his eyes and looks at Sander, but he is already sure that Sander has answered all his questions.

"Face to face. It doesn't matter which position as long as I see him."

The guys drink laughing while Sander gently slides his hand under the Robbe's shirt to caress his waist.

''What role do you prefer to play?''

Robbe rolls his eyes as he looks at his friends. From the moment they started this game, he knew it would end like this.

''Both of them.''

Sander raises his hand to take a shoot and Robbe feels his blood freezing when he tries to imagine what Sander would have said but Sander moves his hand backwards laughing.

''I'm laughing. I said that too."

They start laughing and Robbe realizes that he is probably too drunk to continue playing. But when he looks at Jens and Moyo, they look a lot drunker than he is, so he thinks it's okay.

''What is Sander's favorite role?''

''Top.''

Sander holds out his hand with a sigh and grabs a shoot.

''No. I said both, too. Why do you think that? You think I'm pretending to like letting you be the top?"

Robbe shakes his head while drinking his shoot.

'No, of course not. But I know you like to be in control then''

''I can control you even when you're the top, Robin.''

Robbe smiles,kisses Sander dirty and Jens starts coughing, making him startle. 

''Shit. Sorry. Okay, next."

''What's the thing that turns you on the most in bed? Sander gave us an answer.''

Robbe sighs, he understands why they asked Sander the questions first, because Robbe would never have answered that if Sander hadn't already done so. Robbe drinks a shoot to give himself courage, making everyone laugh.

''When Sander moans my name.''

The guys start laughing and Sander catches a shoot which he fills with water for him, vodka for Robbe.

''I was thinking more like before or during, not at the end.'' laughs Sander ''So I said it turns you on when we're not fully undressed.''

Robbe rolls his eyes, drinking his shoot.

''Already you're not moaning just when you're done, silly. I just like the way you say my name when we make love. Beginning, middle, end, it doesn't matter."

''Okay, Robbe. Reverse question, what is the thing that Sander gets most excited about in bed?''

Robbe take a shoot, laughing, and then looks at Sander.

"Being possessive."

Jens starts to laugh and shakes his head.

"He says : Robbe in jockstrap.''

Robbe rolls his eyes while taking a shoot and turns towards Sander. Sander doesn't take shoots but nobody tells him anything because they all know that he stops drinking when he feels he's had enough.

''That's because it's new. But you like to be in control and that I am yours."

Sander raises his eyebrows, pulling Robbe to stick to him.

''Oh yeah. Totally."

''What's a jockstrap?'' Aaron asks, frowning.

''A beautiful underwear that lets you see Robbe's ass without seeing his dick.'' Jens replies, laughing, I haven't gotten over it yet, to have seen that."

Moyo moves closer to the screen and drinks a shoot before talking.

''What? Why did you see Robbe like that?"

Jens shrugs his shoulders and pulls his joint again.

''He picks up the phone like this and I see his ass in the mirror behind him. It doesn't look very comfortable to wear, though."

''It's very comfortable.'' answers Sander with a smile.

''Are you wearing one too, man?'' asks Jens.

''Yeah, Robbe lent me some.''

"Do you exchange your underwear?" asks Aaron. "Fucking guys, that's weird, isn't it?

Moyo's rolling his eyes, drinking another shoot.

''They're licking each other's asses, they might as well exchange their underwear.''

''Shut up, guys!''

Sander puts his hand over Robbe's mouth because he screamed so loud that his mother probably heard him even though her bedroom is at the other end of the apartment. Robbe grabs the bottle and serves himself one last shoot.

''Okay, we're going to stop here before it gets out of hand. Good night, guys."

''Wait Robbe!'' stops him Jens ''Come on, I still have two questions and nothing to do with sex.''

Robbe raises an eyebrow, unconvinced but that's enough for Jens. In his screen part, Aaron goes shirtless, pretending he's too hot and Robbe laughs because it's really getting crazy.And it's because he watches Moyo drink his shots without waiting to have to do so. that he answers the following question without thinking.

''Okay. What are you most afraid of since you've been with Sander?"

''That he'll cheat on me.''

Robbe puts his hand over his mouth but it's too late. Sander pulls his arm so he turns around.

"What? Why do you think that, damn it?''

Robbe stands up, feeling for once too close to Sander and shrugs his shoulders.

''What? That's what scares me the most, I didn't say I thought it would happen."

Sander gets up in turn to gently caress Robbe's cheek.

''You should know I'll never be able to do that to you, baby.''

Robbe wishes he could say he was sure, but instead he looks down and shrugs his shoulders. 

''Okay, so no matter what I do, you'll always see me as the guy who cheated on his girlfriend?'' Sander gets angry. ''I would point out that you did the same thing, Robbe, and yet I don't think you're capable of cheating on me. But maybe I'm wrong after all, right? Okay, I need two minutes. I'll be back."

"Sander..."

''I'm just going to pee and get some water before I go to bed, I'm tired. Hey, guys."

Sander leaves the bedroom and Robbe sighs before going back to the computer.

''Ok guys, I'll leave you. See you later."

"Wait!" shouts Aaron, "It's going to be okay, right?"

Robbe tries to smile in front of the worried faces of his friends.

''I'm sorry, we just wanted to play,'' moans Jens.

''I know.'' sighed Robbe before disconnecting.

Sander comes back, puts a bottle of water on the desk without a word and undresses.

''Sander, I didn't want to hurt you.''

Sander turns around and goes to bed grumbling.

''I don't want to talk while we are drunk and angry. We'll talk tomorrow."

''You're not even drunk!'' Robbe gets angry.

''No, but you are and I'm angry.'' Sander mumbles without looking at him.

Robbe clenches his angry fists. He wants to talk now and right away. He throws his sweater across the room and lies as close to the edge of the bed as possible, turning his back on Sander and mumbling a "good night" that only reinforces the palpable anger in the room.


	12. Silence speaks when words can't

_Sunday 8 November, 01h48_

Robbe grunts and gets up from bed to pee. He doesn't look behind him as he leaves the bedroom but he knows very well that Sander isn't sleeping either. Robbe pushes open the bathroom door wondering how everything could tip over so quickly. Last night they were making love in a cloth shack and in the middle of the act they were laughing their heads off when Robbe pulled a sheet, making the whole hut fall on them, and tonight they can't even communicate. And the fucking silence between them is just suffocating.

Robbe goes into the kitchen to help himself to a glass of water and looks at the couch hesitantly. But no, he's certainly not going to sleep on the couch, his mother would see him and Robbe doesn't want to worry her. He walks up the hallway towards his bedroom and looks at the guest room just opposite. Maybe Sander would rather let him sleep alone. Maybe he is right and they should wait until they are a little calmer before they talk. Maybe Robbe should just wait until Sander is ready to talk and give him some time.

Robbe sighs and pushes the door of his bedroom. If Sander wants to sleep alone, he just say so. If he doesn't want to talk, okay, but Robbe doesn't want to be away from him. Sander lies at the end of the bed, on his back, and even if Robbe can't see his eyes, he is sure that they are open.

Robbe lies down silently, looks up at the ceiling of his room and sighs. But after a few minutes, even the silence becomes too much.

''Sander, please.''

Sander moves to turn his back to Robbe and it hurts. Robbe hits the mattress between him and Sander and growls.

''I don't care. You can be angry if you want but I have the right to talk. I'm just afraid, Sander. Fear is not something you can control. You don't have a right to be angry because I'm scared."

Sander grunts and frankly, Robbe already imagines him getting out of bed and crossing the room to go to sleep in the other bedroom. But against all odds, Sander rolls onto his back.

''If you knew it was impossible, you wouldn't be scared.''

Robbe takes the time to weigh every word in his head, not wanting to make the atmosphere worse. 

''There's a lot of irrational fear, Sander. Most fears are."

Sander sighs and his breath is jerky. Robbe turns his head to look at him, trying to find out if it is because he is angry or sad, but Sander is too far away and it is too dark for him to see him properly. Frankly, he never thought his bed could look so big. 

''Yes, but this is not one of them, Robbe. I know you're scared because you think I would be able to do it, and that's what hurts me. I feel like you don't trust me."

Robbe sighs and gently moves his hand but he can't find Sander's hand between them. 

''I trust you, Sander...I'm afraid you'll get tired of me and go somewhere else. I don't trust myself."

Robbe sighs, giving Sander the opportunity to say something, but there is only silence. A tear runs down Robbe's cheek and he drops it on his pillow without trying to wipe it off. Robbe closes his eyes and at the same time he feels Sander's hand gently touching his own.

Sander's thumb gently caresses the top of his hand and then his fingers intertwine with Robbe's fingers.

''I swear I trust you, Sander, I don't want you to think that this is not the case. You are the person I trust the most in the world. I would follow you anywhere, even in an icy pool in November.''

Sander gently squeezes his hand and brings it up to his lips. As soon as he puts a soft kiss on top of Robbe's hand, Robbe immediately feels a little better.

"Why would I go see somewhere else, Robbe? What could another person bring me that you couldn't?"

Robbe sighs. He wants to answer "everything" but he knows that if he does, Sander will not be happy. And yet that's how he feels.

''Sometimes, I feel like you spend all your time wondering when it's going to end between us, Robbe.''

Robbe swallows with tears in his eyes because it's clear that Sander is right. He doesn't do it on purpose and he doesn't want to, but sometimes he can't help but imagine what would happen if Sander met someone better than him, and that terrifies him.

''I feel like it's too good to be true, the two of us.''

Sander sighs and his foot gently strokes Robbe's ankle while his thumb strokes his hand again.

''I don't think our story can be compared to a fairy tale, Robbe. You only get the best of it because that's the way you are and that's why I love you so much, but I can tell you an incredible number of moments that made us both cry and which other couples would not have survived."

Robbe moves his foot slightly so that he finds Sander's foot while he caresses Sander's thumb with his own.

"Sander? Are you angry with me?''

Sander moves to the side, getting closer to the half of the bed.

''No. I'm angry with me. I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you, Robbe. I loved you, but I went back to Britt. I could never forget how badly I fucked up and I understand that you"

Robbe faces Sander, coming closer in the middle of the bed in turn, putting his finger on Sander's lips.

"Stop! That has nothing to do with it, Ok? We both screwed up, Sander. I swear I'm not thinking about that. Yes, it hurt me, but I know you were lost. And I know I hurt you when I was lost and yet you gave me a second chance. I don't want to think about that again, Sander. We were both fucked up but we're past that. A long time ago."

Sander nods softly with a sigh.

"Are you angry?"

Robbe nods and shakes Sander's hand.

"Yeah, I'm definitely going to break up with my friends. And I'm sorry if I hurt you. I was angry at you too, because you wouldn't talk to me. I missed you so much."

Sander wraps his arms and legs around Robbe so he can pull him against him.

''Baby, I'm here. I'll always be here. I just didn't want us to fight."

Robbe chokes a first sob against Sander's chest.

''Don't cry, baby. I didn't want us to say things we would regret."

Robbe doesn't want it, but it's just too late, the tears flow by themselves as he hugs Sander who kisses him all over his face.

''I love you Robbe. I'm here, baby."

Robbe clutches Sander's shoulders, wrapping his legs around his own.

''I swear I trust you, babe, I don't want you to think otherwise.''

Sander gently caresses his back, kissing him tenderly.

''So trust me when I tell you you make me happy, Robbe. You and me. One hundred percent., forever. In every universes. That wasn't just talk, that's how I feel about you. I can't cheat you because I don't see the others anymore, Robbe. Now I only see you. You are the only one who counts."

Robbe raises his head so that he can find Sander's lips. The kiss tastes like salt because of his tears, but that's okay. Sander kisses him gently and then hugs him as tightly as possible.

''I love you so much, Sander. I'm so afraid of what I would become if you decided to leave. I don't think I would be able to go on living without you."

Sander sighs near his ear before kissing him.

''I know, baby, I feel the same way. And I hope we never have to find out, okay?"

Robbe nods softly, gently caressing Sander's cheek with his hand.

''I really trust you, Sander. I swear it has nothing to do with you."

Sander steps back slightly so that he can place his forehead against Robbe's forehead.

''I don't want you to say it just to please me, Robbe, I want you to mean it.''

''But I mean it, I swear it. I'm not even jealous when you stay late at school with your friends. I never even thought that you might be cheating on me. I'm just scared it's going to happen because I don't know if I could get over it, and because it would make me think that I don't make you happy enough to keep you, and...''.

''Eh...stop, my love, you make me happy enough. You always make me happy, Robbe.''

Robbe rolls his eyes and it makes Sander smile.

''Ok, maybe this is not our happiest moment, although I'm glad we can talk calmly and I'm happy to hold you in my arms. I was afraid that you wouldn't come back to sleep with me."

Robbe sighs and nods softly.

"I hesitated. I thought you might prefer to sleep alone."

Sander shakes his head, gently caressing Robbe's waist.

''Never, okay? Even when we live together. Promise me we'll always sleep together. Even if we get angry, even if we're upset, I don't want you to think that I don't want to sleep with you. I need you to be close to me, even if we're angry, okay?"

Robbe nods and sniffs.

"Okay."

''No breaks, no separate beds. If we have a problem, we'll fix it; if we're angry, we'll calm down and talk about it, but whatever happens, we'll stay together, okay? I'm sorry I turned my back on you, I was really sad and angry.''

Sander gently strokes Robbe's cheek before smiling at him.

''But even though I'm angry, I love you more than it's possible to love, Robbe, Clemens, Jeroen, Guus Izjermans.''

Robbe chuckles as he rolls his eyes.

"How did you know?"

Sander takes a big proud smile that makes Robbe smile.

''Do you remember the day you forgot your wallet at my house? You called me and asked me to bring it to you. When I picked it up, your ID card fell out and when I saw that incredible list of first names I had to look at it. Why do you have so many?"

Robbe chuckling, rubbing his nose against Sander's nose.

''Clemens and Jeroen were my grandfathers' first names. And my mother wanted to call me Guus because I was born in August. But since my name isn't Guus after all, she gave it to me as a backup name... That's it."

Sander chuckles, retreating to look at Robbe and strokes his cheek, pushing his hair back.

''Guus? Oh shit, I should thank your father for choosing Robbe then?"

Robbe shakes his head and giggles.

''No, not really. It was my aunt who was there when I was born because my dad was out of town. They say she looked at me and said '' _Nat, you can't call him Guus. He doesn't look like a Guus. We need another name for this pretty boy._ "

''She was so right. I love your aunt."

Robbe smiled, stealing a little kiss from Sander's lips.

"I know, and she loves you too since you drew her last tattoo, and you know that."

Sander smiles and quickly kisses Robbe.

''So...how did they find Robbe?''

Robbe smiles a bit more, almost wondering how they went from their argument and tears to a discussion about the origin of his first name, but it suits him much better, even though he hates that story.

"The day after I was born, when my father arrived, I was in the nursery with the other babies. He asked to see me and they gave him little Robbe in his arms. But then Robbe's dad came and there was a mess. In fact, there is a Robbe Azermans who was born two days before me. When they gave him the right baby, my father took me back to my mother's room and he said my name was Robbe. That was it. Sometimes I wonder if he did this because he wanted to keep the other baby. He always said he was twice as big and stronger than me, and he couldn't understand how the nurses could get confused because I looked like a shrimp."

Sander sighs and hugs Robbe against him.

''I swear you are the prettiest of the two.'' 

He kisses his forehead.

"The sweetest."

He kisses his cheek.

"The most attentive."

He kisses his neck, which gives Robbe a high-pitched chuckle.

"The one I love the most."

Robbe rolls his eyes laughing.

''You don't even know the other one, Sander. This discussion doesn't make any sense."

Sander shakes his head, putting two more kisses along Robbe's jaw.

''I know you, that's enough for me, baby. You're better than all the other Robbes. You are the only one that matters to me."

Robbe throws himself so quickly on Sander's lips that their teeth hit each other, but it doesn't matter because Sander's tongue already slides into his mouth and his hands slide under his shirt. So yes, maybe it will take a little while before he won't be afraid of losing all that, and even longer before granting that he's enough, but for now he doesn't want to think about it anymore.

For now, all he wants to think about is that Sander's body fits into his as if they were two pieces of the same puzzle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for all the Guus, August or Augustin present here...(the worst is that I love the name August)....


	13. Sunday it's brunch with croques

_Sunday 8 November, 10:44 am_

"Anne, I really think I'm going to keep him here with me until the end of time. These croques are really delicious. I love this principle of Sunday brunch!"

''I really hope he doesn't bother you too much. I know he can be a little too much sometimes."

Sander grunts a "Mom!" and Robbe wraps his arms around him, gently kissing his shoulder.

"Don't listen to them, babe, you're perfect!"

''Not at all Anne, he's great. Robbe is so much more smiling than at the first lockdown."

''Mom!''

Nathalie turns around, signaling them to make less noise.

''Shhtt...let your moms talk, guys.''

Robbe rolls his eyes and helps Sander finish preparing the croques while their moms chat together across the screen. 

''I'll let you guys talk quietly. See you later. See you soon Anne."

''See you soon Nathalie. Have a nice Sunday."

Robbe watches his mother walk to his room, leaving his plate in the kitchen.

"Mom, don't you want another croques?"

''No thanks, honey, I'm not very hungry. I'll read a little in my room."

Robbe sits around the table and looks at the screen where Romi and Eefie, Sander's little twin sisters, arrive at the screen with all the vigor of the 12 year olds locked up at home.

"Eefie found the key to your door, Sandy! We threw all Bowie's disks!"

Robbe bursts out laughing while Romi starts laughing. In fact everyone laughs except Sander who joins Robbe with a sigh.

''Come on, babe, she's laughing. I'm sure your room is fine and Bowie's disks are right where they belong."

''Robbe, you're our favourite brother...so don't you want to keep Sander at your home all your life so we can take his bedroom? It's bigger than ours."

Robbe start laughing then smiles as he looks at Peter, Sander's father, who is trying to get a small place in the camera space while he bites into his croques.

"Hi guys! Oh, did you make croques, too?"

Sander puts the plate in the middle of the table, sitting next to Robbe with a big smile on his face.

''Yeah. Tradition obliges. Sunday is a brunch with croques.''

"So Robbe, do you agree?"

Robbe chuckles while Peter asks Eefie what she's talking about.

"We want Robbe to adopt Sandy so we can get his bedroom back."

''Stop calling me that, you little monster, or I'll never leave and you'll never get the big bedroom.''

His two sisters stick their tongues out and Sander does the same, which makes Robbe laugh. He forgets how childish Sander can be with his brothers and sisters.

"Wait, Tobias connects."

Robbe smiles at Sander's big brother who appears on the screen, giving the impression that he has just woken up.

''Tobi, are you getting out of bed or what?'' asks Romi.

''Are you still in bed, son?''.

''Yeah! It's the time difference."

Robbe laughs at the same time as Sander's whole family.

''There's no time difference with France, idiot. Oh my God, son, can't you just say yes?''

A last chat window appears on the screen and Lara greets the whole family with her baby in her arms.

''Willem has his first tooth! Look!"

All the Driesens stick to their screens to watch, even Sander, and it's just hilarious. Sander's family makes Robbe laugh a lot, but Sander says it's just because he's not used to big families.

''So Sander, Robbe hasn't kicked you out yet? I'm amazed!'' says Lara. ''Frankly, I think you're very brave, Robbe.''

''He was called the bravest of all on the day he agreed to come and meet you !'' says Sander.

Robbe rolls his eyes while shaking his head.

''Sander is definitely the bravest of the two of us."

Sander's whole family starts laughing and Sander gently kisses him on the temple.

''You're cute, Robbe, but we all know Sander.'' Tobias laughs.

Robbe sighs because he knows he is telling the truth but he doesn't have time to talk, that Sander elbowing him.

''I can feel it from here, Robbe. Go ahead, pick up your phone."

Robbe shakes his head and takes a croques. His phone hasn't stopped vibrating since this morning. He has had several messages from Moyo and Aaron and Jens keeps trying to call him. This must be the reason why his cell phone is vibrating right now.

''Come on, pick up. At least tell him you're not dead."

Robbe looks at Sander's family talking about something else, while eating croques. Even Tobias has finally got up and is preparing his own. Robbe sighs and takes out his phone to discover without any surprise that it's Jens who is calling him. He places himself at the other end of the kitchen, refusing the video call to take only the audio.

"What?"

_"Fuck, Robbe, how are you? We're super worried."_

"How do you think I'm? What the hell was that, Jens?"

_"We didn't mean to fuck around, we just wanted to have a good time."_

''Are you asking me to say what I don't like about Sander and what scares me about our relationship, just to have a good time? No, Jens. You just wanted to ask me sexual questions that you wouldn't normally dare to ask and you mixed them up with serious questions just to get me to answer them. And now Sander broke up with me and it's your fault."

Robbe hangs up without even thinking and makes an angry moan. It is Sander's fake cough that makes him startle.

''Uh Robin...I think, I do say, I think everyone heard you.''

Robbe turns around and looks at the screen where the Driesens are all mute: which is almost scary because it never happens. And finally, it's Eefie who approaches the screen pouting.

"So you're not our brother anymore?"

Her chin trembles and she seems so affected by it that it immediately makes Robbe sad. It upsets him so much to see Sander's whole family so affected that he takes too much time to respond, so Sander does it for him.

''Of course he'is, little monster. Robbe laughed. We're still very much in love."

Sander opens his arms so Robbe comes and sits on Sander's lap.

''Sorry. I...uh...My friends teased us last night and we had a fight because of them, so because I'm still angry with them, I lied to them to make them feel guilty.''

Now that he said it out loud, Robbe feels even more shitty.

''Oh fuck, Robbe. You're awesome!" Lara says ''They must feel so bad! They must be blaming each other to death!"

''I didn't think you were so evil.'' says Tobias. ''I love it! Now I understand how you stand up to my brother. So, there's a fucking character underneath that angel face."

''Well done for them !'' says Romi, ''That'll teach them to piss you off."

''But, are you two okay?'' asks Eefie, pushing her sister for take her place in front of the screen.

Robbe nods while Sander hugs him.

"We're doing great. And look at this: Robbe agrees to let me hug him even in front of our parents. Maybe in ten years time I'll get a kiss too."

''Oh yeah! A kiss, Robbe! A kiss... A kiss...''

Robbe rolls his eyes laughing and bends over to kisses Sander, causing all the siblings to scream and hiss.

''Ok, let's calm down!'' says Peter ''I'm glad you guys are doing well. It's never easy to learn to live together anyway. But I'm sure it will just make you closer.''

"Remember to tell your friends the truth, Robbe." Anne said softly, "Don't make them wait too long."

Robbe nods with a smile.

"Yes, of course. I'll call them back later."

''So...Sandy can stay at your place, please Robbe?''

Helene and Peter roll their eyes while Sander takes a big smile.

''Actually, we want to get an apartment with Robbe at the end of the lockdown. His mother agrees. So the Oompa Loompas, if you can convince the parents, you'll get the big bedroom.''

The two girls start screaming while the other members remain speechless, and finally Sander's big sister speaks first.

"Really? That's... early, isn't it?"

''We've been together for a year now. Lara, you have a baby in your arms and you don't even have a boyfriend."

Robbe elbows Sander, hating that he reminds his sister that she's a single mother.

''Ok, Ok, I didn't say anything. I think it's cool, I'm happy for you. Willem votes yes. I could leave him at your home so I could hang out with my friends. I vote yes, too."

''Yes for me too! If Robbe supports you, you must not let him go. And I absolutely want you to come to Paris when the lockdown is lifted, I have a lot of things to show you. You'd see the art galleries, Sander, you'd be crazy.''

''We vote YES!'' shout the twins in chorus.

Peter pushes them off the screen, grumbling that they are screaming in his ears.

''We didn't say we were voting, kids!''

''We vote on all the important decisions!'' said Lara ''And this is one of them.''

''We'll talk about it quietly, guys.'' says Anne ''but why not. That sounds like a good idea."

Peter nods with a smile and Robbe gently hugs Sander. The doorbell of the house startled them. It's silly, but it's something they haven't heard much since the lockdown began. Robbe sighs, thinking that he should have called his father back and gets up, greeting Sander's family before leaving the screen.

He grabs a mask and opens the door, but this time it is not his father who is on the landing.

''I'm really sorry, Robbe. I know you're angry, but''

Robbe closes the door behind him, pushing Jens back a little.

"What are you doing here, Jens?"

''I've come to see how you are. What can I do, Robbe? You can't just break up like that. We just wanted to tease you. We didn't even think you'd really answer. We shouldn't have done''

''No, you shouldn't have, Idiots! I feel like you're having fun playing with my relationship, Jens. But I don't understand why."

''But no! I...I don't know. We wanted to tease you for not thinking about the same date and we found a lot of questions to ask on the internet. We just selected and''

''Well, it was a fucking rotten selection!''

''I'm really sorry, Bro. Tell me how to make it right. Tell me what to do. You know I've always been supportive of your relationship. You know that I love Sander. I should have stopped when you asked me to. I'm really sorry."

Robbe sighs as he rolls his eyes in front of his best friend's sore face. It's true that even though he isn't perfect, Jens has always supported him.

''I lied to you, we did have a fight because of you, and I hate you for it, but we didn't break up. We are fine. We were talking to his family there. In fact, we just told them that we want to live together, after the lockdown."

Jens widens his eyes a little before looking at Robbe again.

''No? Is that true? Like in an apartment just the two of you?"

Robbe nods and smiles.

''Yeah, exactly.''

Jens lets out a big sigh of relief and pulls Robbe up against him, totally taking him by surprise.

''I know. You can go disinfect yourself afterwards, but I'm so sorry. I really thought I ruined your relationship, I was too scared. I'm sorry, Robbe. You tell Sander that"

The door opens and Robbe stands away from Jens to turn around and see Sander's big smile.

''Tell me, what? That you're trying to get Robbe back for yourself?"

Jens sighs and looks down while Robbe steps back to come into Sander's arms.

''No. Of course not. I'm sorry, man. We didn't intend to fuck it up."

''I know, it's okay. Don't worry. Just send us a restaurant next Friday and you'll be forgiven."

Jens nods with a smile and hits his elbow against the one Sander hands him.

"Thanks, man."

''You helped me choose the right skateboard for Robbe, so I owed you a favor.''

Jens nods with a smile and then leaves, greeting them. And only when Robbe closes the door, taking off his mask, does he realize that he didn't know what Sander had answered.

''What did you say, babe? When they asked you what was my biggest fear in our relationship?"

Sander smiles with a shrug.

''Nothing. He never asked me that. In fact, I think he had selected some questions from a questionnaire he found on the internet and he must have gotten the wrong line when he asked you the question. He was pretty high and drunk last night. That's why I forgive him so easily, because I don't think he wanted to mess things up between us. Besides, I know you can't stay angry with him."

Robbe sighs.

''Really? All that shit just because he got the wrong line?"

Sander nods, taking Robbe in a tight hug.

''Yeah, I really think so. The two questions they didn't ask you were _''what is he missing the most during lockdown''_ and I said ''skateboarding with his buddies", and _"what is his favorite food"_ , so I answered without hesitation."

Robbe takes a huge smile, answering at the same time with Sander.

''Croques.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, I wanted to drown Sander in a large family (I love large families where everyone gets along well and teases each other all the time).
> 
> A short summary of the Driesen family :
> 
> Anne & Peter are the parents.  
> Lara is the eldest, she is 22 years old and has a son, Willem of 6 months (she lives in Antwerp).  
> Tobias is 20 years old, he lives in Paris.  
> Here, is Sander...we know him well.  
> Romi and Eefi are the twins who arrived by surprise, they are 12 years old. 
> 
> You think that I created a whole world for myself : you're right !😂😂


	14. Like a bad presentiment

_Sunday 8 November, 6:54 pm_

It always starts with small details. A nap at the end of the morning. Disjointed discussions of meaning where you have to talk about things that happened a long time ago. Loss of appetite. Tears that flow alone in front of a silly movie where there is nothing sad. Gestures that express anxiety. And above all the absence of smiles. 

And that's what makes Robbe tick. There is something wrong.

''Mom? Are you fine?"

His mother sighs and walks to the medicine cabinet.

''No, I have a headache. I'm just gonna take some medicine and go to bed."

Robbe watches her do it but stops her as soon as he sees the box she's taking out.

''That's not for headaches, Mom.''

She looks at the medicine box and shrugs her shoulders.

''Yes, it will work. Don't treat me like a baby, Robbe, I know what's good for me."

Robbe gently takes the box from her hands and puts it in the closet before taking out the paracetamol and locking the closet, slipping the key into her pocket.

''Do you want to eat something, Nathalie?''

She shakes her head without looking at Sander and swallows her medication before going to bed. Robbe watches her go to her room and he really tries not to let anxiety overwhelm him.

''She may just have a headache, baby. Maybe she's tired. She was fine this morning, right?"

Robbe nods and hugs Sander. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean anything and Robbe knows it.

"I'm glad you're here, Sander."

Sander wraps his arms around Robbe's shoulders so he can hold him tighter against him. 

''I'm happy too, my love. Everything is going to be alright, ok? What do you want to do?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders, worried and looks at the door of his mother's room.

''Okay. Let's make a pizza, that'll keep you busy. Come on, baby, get the flour out."

And as usual, Sander is right. Cooking with him helps Robbe relax and saves him from worrying too much. For the moment his mother is sleeping, so everything is fine. He follows Sander's instructions exactly and finally kneading the pizza dough allows him to relax.

''I'm going to call my dad tomorrow.''

Sander looks at him smiling and shakes his head. Robbe looks at him with a questioning look which makes Sander laugh and Robbe has to laugh because he loves it when they talk like that, without words. It's a silence full of love that has nothing to do with the one who was so heavy last night.

Sander takes Robbe's hands and turns him around so that he faces the sink before turning on the water so that he can wash his hands.

"I hadn't finished working on my dough."

Sander kisses him gently in the neck before handing him a tea towel.

''I'm going to finish, Robbe. You go call your father. Don't put it off until tomorrow or you'll never do it. Go ahead, I'll take care of it."

Robbe sighs and looks at his phone.

''Go ahead, baby. He's gonna be happy and it's gonna be good for you. And after, you'll have a wonderful pizza to enjoy."

Robbe pulls Sander by the neck to come towards him. Sander has flour on his cheek and Robbe wipes it off before kissing him.

''Ok, I'm going to call him now. Call me if you need any help, okay?''

Sander nods but Robbe knows he won't do it. Robbe will slowly look into his mother's room and immediately feels reassured because she is asleep. So he goes to his bedroom and calls his father.

_''Robbe? Are you okay?"_

''Hi, Dad, I'm fine. Am I disturbing you?"

_''No, of course not. I'm glad you called me. Really."_

Robbe sighs as he lies on the bed.

"Sorry about the other day. I didn't sleep well, I was a little on edge. Sorry."

_''It's all right, son. Are you feeling better? Are you all right?"_

''Yes, Dad, I'm fine.''

_"And Sander? Is he OK?"_

"Very well, yes."

_"I'm sorry if I was surprised, Robbe. I'm glad he's with you, I just didn't want him to feel obliged, that's all. I know how hard it can be with your mother. I just..."_

Robbe knows that this is something they shouldn't talk about, otherwise they will argue. How can his father understand that Sander agrees to share his ex-wife's life when he can't? 

"He wanted to come, Dad. And I'm really glad he's here. It's going really well."

_''It's good, I'm really happy, Robbe. I hope Sander, you and me can get together after lockdown. I miss our dinners, you know."_

Robbe sighs. The three of them used to get together once a month at the restaurant and it was nice to see his father in a nice context for once. And it's really nice to see him talking calmly with Sander and that they get to know each other. They will never be close, but it's cordial and it helps Robbe feel a little better with his father.

''Me too, Dad. In fact, after the lockdown we would like to get an apartment with Sander. So, we could invite you to dinner."

Robbe stops breathing, waiting for his father to react. But there is just a long silence at the end of the phone. So much so that Robbe looks to see if the call has been disconnected.

''Dad? Are you there?"

_''Yeah, sorry, son. Do you want to live together?"_

The bedroom door opens slowly and Robbe signals to Sander to come and join him, opening his arm so that Sander locks himself against him.

"Yes, we want to live together."

_''Do you want to go back to the flat share?''_

''We were thinking of getting an apartment just the two of us, actually.''

Sander gently caresses Robbe's back, kissing his collarbone because it's right in front of his lips.

_''Okay. I have a lot of colleagues who put up ads for student apartments on campus, I could look at it if you want.''_

Robbe sits down slightly, letting his hand play draw pictures on Sander's back.

''Uh yeah. Of course. That would be cool."

_''Ok. But I don't want you to take a little job, Robbe. I want you to focus on your studies, okay? So I'll help you out like I did last year. Okay?"_

''Yes, Dad. Thanks."

His father coughs and Robbe hears him take a deep breath before continuing.

_''Did you talk about it with your mother?''_

Robbe smiles because it makes him happy that he is still thinking about her.

''Yes. Auntie Olie wants to return to Antwerp in January, so she's going to come and live here with mom.''

_''Okay, I understand better. Live with your mother and your aunt... I understand why you want to leave."_

Robbe wants to tell her it's not that at all but he meets Sander's eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Dad, can I ask you a question?"

_''Of course, son. Tell me."_

Robbe looks at Sander who is huddled up next to him. His head rests against his collarbone while his right hand gently caresses Robbe's back and his left hand plays with his necklace, walking the angel from left to right and then turning him between his fingers.

"Why did you want to call me Robbe."

Sander stops moving the angel and raises his head to look at Robbe before smiling tenderly at him. There is so much love in that simple look that Robbe could cry.

_''You know it, big boy. Because of baby's mistake at the maternity ward."_

Robbe sighs, feeling stupid for asking the question, but now he needs a real answer.

''Yes, I know. But why? Why did you give me this baby's name?"

There is a slight silence and Robbe knows that his father must be wondering why he wants to know this now, but he doesn't care, he needs a real answer.

_''Because it was a pretty name. Your mother had warned me that she didn't want to call you Guus anymore and I was happy because it was her idea and I wasn't a big fan, but because it made her happy, I agreed. So when the nurse gave me this huge baby and told me his name was Robbe, I thought it was perfect. My paternal grandfather's name was Robbert and I loved him, so I thought your mother must have thought of him when she called you that. And then Robbe's dad came along and it got crazy. When the nurse put you in my arms, you seemed so fragile compared to the other one. I felt like I was going to break you. You were so small but you looked at me with your big eyes open and all I could think of was that the name Robbe suited you much better than the other baby. I know we're not supposed to say this, but you looked like a Robbe and he didn't. So I gave you that name because it reminded me of my grandfather and he was the strongest man I ever knew."_

Robbe sniffs while Sander wipes a tear from his cheek.

_''Why Robbe? Do you want to change your name?''_

Robbe sniffs again and smells the sweet smell of pizza that reaches him.

''No, Dad, he's perfect. I was just wondering. Thank you."

Sander kisses delicately before getting up, probably attracted by the smell of pizza too.

_''Next Saturday I have to come to town, Robbe. Can the three of us go for a walk?''_

Robbe nods with a smile even though his father can't see him.

''Yes, I'd be happy about that. We'll confirm that until then, okay? I'll have to go, the pizzas are cooked."

_''Okay. Say hello to Sander and your mother. Thanks for calling me, son, it's a real pleasure."_

''For me too, dad. Bye.''

Robbe hangs up and lets out a sigh that he didn't think he hold and then leaves the room and joins Sander in the living room. The two pizzas are already on the coffee table in the living room, with two cokes and Sander is surfing on Netflix. He opens his arm, inviting Robbe to come and snuggle with him and kisses his hair as soon as Robbe joins him.

''Robbe IJzermans, I'm so proud of you. I love you so much."

Robbe raises his head to kiss him gently.

''I love you too.''

Sander takes his smug smile, raising an eyebrow.

''See, I told you you were the best of both. I'm always right.''

Robbe smiles as he kisses his jaw. Sander play one of the movies they had put in their reading track and they spend the evening in each other's arms laughing, eating pizza and drinking coke. 

Robbe looks several times at the door of his mother's room, unable to shake off this bad presentiment. He kisses Sander, hoping that he was right about that too and that his mother will be fine.


	15. In the end one is alone

_Monday 9 November, 4:02 am_

Robbe wakes up with a start, not really knowing what woke him up and he hates it. He tattoos in the bed but he already knows he's alone. He turns on the bedside lamp so quickly that it almost falls to the floor. He grabs his phone and immediately notices Sander's phone next to his own and that reassures him a little. Sander shouldn't have left without his phone. 

A laugh rings out in the living room and Robbe suddenly gets up. He knows that laugh very well and he hates it. He often hears it in his nightmares and now he realizes that this is probably what woke him up. He puts on a T-shirt in a hurry and rushes into the living room. His mother is crouching in front of a dozen photo albums while Sander is standing next to her, his hand on her shoulder.

''Nathalie, we'll find him tomorrow, okay. It's going to be bedtime, it's late."

''But my mother wanted to see that picture now. She says he will go to hell if he is not baptized. My son can't go to hell."

Robbe sighs as he slowly moves closer. His maternal grandmother died when he was four or five years old and he really hates it when his mother's hallucinations include him. It's really creepy.

"Mom?"

His mother is startled but doesn't get up, continuing to turn the pages of the albums.

''I have to find Robbe's picture. She doesn't want to believe me. Can you imagine if she tells them he wasn't baptized? What if they come to get him?"

Robbe sighs, looks at Sander with a sorry look and walks towards the library. He grabs the photo of his baptism and hands it to his mother.

''Is that the photo there, mom?''

He doesn't even know why he asks the question because it's always that picture his mother is looking for. His mother frowns, tearing the photo out of his hands.

''Did you have it? You saw it, doctor, he stole it from me."

She turns to Sander and grabs the shirt.

"Doctor, did you see that? I don't want to see that nurse anymore! I don't ever want to see that nurse again! Don't let him come near me, he wants to kill me."

Robbe sighs, passing a hand through his hair.

"Mom, I"

''He tried to kill me last night. I'm scared, doctor."

His mother holds on to Sander and it's just awful to see. That's exactly why Robbe didn't want Sander to be confined with them. He knows that he shouldn't be ashamed of that, because it's not her fault, but to see her clinging to Sander like that, confusing him with his doctor is simply horrible to see.

''It's all right, Nathalie, I'll take you back to your room, Ok? I'll take care of you, don't worry.''

Robbe watches his mother get up, still clutching Sander.

''Will my mother be there? I'll be able to show her the photo."

Sander looks at Robbe quickly, seeming to hesitate and then nods.

"She'll be there, don't worry."

Sander gently strokes Robbe's mother's hair and takes her to her room. Her mother starts to laugh with that horrible laugh she only gets when she's in crisis, then she bursts into tears.

''She's gone. She didn't believe me. She's gone. What if she hurts him? She took my baby, doctor. We have to find him. It's my baby, not hers."

Robbe is almost happy not to be able to see Sander who is now in his mother's room because he feels too bad to face him. He should never have let him come here with them. He shouldn't have to deal with this.

"Don't move, Nathalie, I'm gonna see if I can find her in the hospital, okay?"

''Thank you, doctor, you're an angel. If I wasn't already married, I would marry you. You're such a beautiful man."

Sander comes out of the room and Robbe hugs him.

''Robbe, should I give him something?''

Robbe nods and fetches the key to open the medicine drawer.

''She usually takes them if we promise her that her mother will come and bring her baby back if she takes them. I'm so sorry, Sander.''

Sander gently kisses Robbe, whispering ''it's okay'' before going to his mother's room with the medicine and a glass of water. Robbe picks up the photo albums and puts them away. After ten minutes, Sander comes out with a slight smile.

''She has fallen asleep.''

Robbe sighs nodding and Sander comes to huddle up against him.

''Robin, are you alright?''

"Why didn't you wake me up? It's not up to you to deal with this."

Sander strokes his cheek gently before kissing him.

''It was the noise that woke me up and then I didn't want to leave her alone. Don't worry, baby, I can help you deal with this, okay? I don't care. I know it's not her fault. I'm in a good position to know."

Robbe sighs, leaving his head resting in Sander's neck.

"Thanks, babe."

Sander gently kisses his neck.

''That's normal, my love. Will she remember that?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't know, it depends Sometimes she remembers, sometimes she thinks it was a nightmare, sometimes she doesn't remember at all."

Sander looks at the sofa and then at the corridor behind them.

"Do you want to go back to bed or do we sleep here?"

Robbe shakes his head while tightening against him.

''Go to bed, babe. I'll stay here just in case, okay. But you need your sleep."

Sander rolls his eyes and disappears into their bedroom. Robbe is barely sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands when Sander reappears with their pillows and the blanket from Robbe's bed.

''Come on, come to sleep, baby.''

Sander puts the two cushions against the armrest of the sofa, lies down and then pulls Robbe to lie down on him before closing the comforter over them.

''Sleep Robbe. I'm here."

Sander wraps his arms around him and Robbe puts his head against his chest.

"Thanks."

Robbe tells himself that he is not going to fall asleep, but just to rest a little. And finally it is when he wakes up with a start that he realizes that he had fallen asleep. 

His mother looks at him and then mumbles something that Robbe doesn't understand, but he knows it wasn't meant for him. He breaks away from Sander, who is still sleeping, and gets up slowly without waking him up.

''Do you want a coffee, Mom?''.

His mother looks at him with that lost look that Robbe hates but nods. Robbe pours two coffees and gives one to his mother. She brings the cup to his lips and throws it on the floor.

"Oh, you want to burn me or what?"

Robbe sees quickly Sander suddenly standing up on the sofa at the sound of the cup exploding but he quickly focuses on the fact that there are pieces of broken cups all over the floor and that his mother and himself are both barefoot.

''Mom, get out, you're going to hurt yourself. You are barefoot."

"You're trying to kill me? You'd live a better life if you didn't have to take care of me."

Robbe is shaking his head, trying to get his mother to back off. 

"Nathalie, come on."

His mother is startled when Sander touches her shoulder and she grabs a knife on the worktop.

''Don't touch me! Who are you? Robbe, help, there's a burglar in our house.''

"Nathalie, it's me."

Robbe grabs his mother's hand before she tries to stab Sander.

''Sander, get out of there. Damn it, mom, drop the knife. It's my boyfriend, mom, it's all right, it's Sander.''

His mother drops the knife and steps forward to look at Sander, who hasn't moved, pulling his chin to look at him.

''Didn't he have white hair?''

Sander chuckles and smiles.

''Yes, but I haven't dyed for several months. But I am still Sander. Just a natural Sander.''

Robbe grabs the broom to remove the pieces of broken cup but he sees exactly the moment when his mother raises her hand back.

''No, you're an impostor.''

Robbe steps on the broken pieces but he doesn't arrive in time. The slap his mother gives Sander resounds throughout the kitchen. Robbe grabs his wrist right afterwards but it's too late. 

''Sander, get out of here. Get out.''

Robbe shakes his head to bring down the tears that are collecting in his eyes, trying not to blame his mother.

''He's an impostor, Robbe! He wants to kill me, I'm sure of it. You have to protect me. You're the only one who can protect me."

She throws herself into his arms, crying, and Robbe holds her tightly against him, looking for Sander just to make sure he's fine, but he's not there and Robbe remembering that he shouted at him to leave.

''I'm so tired." his mother moans softly at him.

Robbe nods and grabs his mother's medicine before taking her to her beroom. She lies down on her bed and starts crying and Robbe squats down beside her.

''It's going to be okay, mom. I'm here, okay?''

His mother takes her medication easily for once and that's when Robbe hears the front door slam. And Robbe's heart clenches when he hears it. He can't even blame Sander for leaving, everyone would have done the same. He just wants to know if he went for a walk to take a breath away from all this, or if he really left.

''Read for me, please. I like your voice."

Robbe sits on the floor next to the bed and pulls the book from the bedside table. It's his mother's favorite book and he always had the gift of calming her down. She falls asleep one hour later and Robbe puts his head on the bed, listening to the fucking deathly silence that reigns in the house.

It's a fucking silence downright worse than that of anger: that of loneliness.


	16. You will always be my king.

_Monday 9 November, 10:08 am_

Robbe wipes away his tears, gets up painfully because of his foot wounds and gently closes the door of his mother's room behind him. 

"Baby, come"

Robbe jump and it hurts his feet even more.

''Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Come let me fix you, baby."

Robbe looks at Sander without moving so Sander gets up from the sofa, slips the bluetooth headset around his neck as Robbe usually does and comes up to him, smiling gently. 

"Robbe, come on."

''I thought you had left.''

Robbe hates his voice so weak and trembling but he can't do better considering all the emotions that swirl around him. Sander shakes his head as he bends over to Robbe to take him in his arms.

"I told you, I'm not leaving, Robbe. Never."

Robbe reaches out his hand to touch Sander's cheek.

''I heard the door. And then there was no noise.''

Sander sighs, hugging Robbe more harder.

''How could you think I was gone? I take out the trash can and borrowed your headphones to listen to Bowie without bothering you. I told you I would be quiet sometimes. It's not her fault. You told me to back off, I should have listened to you, I'm sorry."

Robbe sniffs against Sander, letting a few tears flow and wet his shirt.

''I'm the one who follows sorry. I'm really sorry. Do you understand why I didn't want to put you through this?"

Sander shakes his head, gently rubbing Robbe's back.

''It's not her fault, okay. Come on, I'll fix you up, I'm sure you've got bits of porcelain in your feet. And even though I love to see you like this, maybe you should get dressed, right?"

Robbe smiles and lets himself be dragged to the bedroom where he puts on jogging pants while Sander goes to get something to treat him. Indeed, there are several pieces of broken cup that have remained under his skin and he grins when Sander takes them off. He lies on his bed and can't think of anything else but the slap his mother gave Sander.

''Has she ever been violent with you?''

Robbe looks at Sander who puts a bandage on his foot, sighs and then nods gently.

''Once, before his hospitalization. But it was my fault, I scared her and I didn't see that she had a bottle in her hand. But this hadn't happened since she got out of the hospital. I really hope she doesn't have to go back."

Sander joins Robbe on his bed and takes him in his arms, gently caressing his shoulder.

''We're not there yet, okay? Do we need to call a doctor or just wait?"

Robbe shakes his head and locks himself against Sander. 

''We'll wait until she wakes up and I'll see, Ok? Normally with her treatment the seizures don't last long. I have to call the hospital doctor back after 24 hours or if it becomes too dangerous.''

Sander nods with a smile.

''Ok. I've put the knives in the key drawer."

Robbe sighs, sinking a little deeper into Sander's chest but he smiles when Sander's hand slips into the collar of his shirt to look for his angel and play with it.

''I should have thought of that last night. I'm sorry Sander. If she had hurt you, I''

''It didn't happen, okay? It's all right, Robbe, I'm fine. My mother hit me harder than that. At least yours doesn't have rings.''

Robbe knows that Sander tries to lighten the mood but Robbe can't think of anything else but the fact that his mother slapped his boyfriend.

''Minute by minute, Robbe, ok?''

Robbe hums and nods.

''Okay, so this minute we're just gonna kiss. Come here, Robin.''

Sander gently pulls Robbe's chin so he raises his head and kisses him gently before squeezing him.

''Now come and have some coffee and a real breakfast.''

Robbe follows Sander into the kitchen and takes out the rest of the croque they made yesterday while Sander makes two coffees while connecting the bluetooth speakers in the kitchen to his phone. Bowie comes to resonate softly in their ears, just to envelop them in a reassuring atmosphere.

''I thought about what happened earlier. Do you think it would help if I dyed my hair again?"

Robbe smothers a laugh in his cup before shaking his head.

''You don't dye your hair for my mother, Sander.''

Sander pouting, getting closer to Robbe. 

''Didn't you like my hair bleached?''

Robbe caresses his hair by kissing him tenderly.

''Of course I did. But I love you in natural, too. Honestly I don't care, Sander, but there's no way you're doing it for my mom, ok? Especially because when she wakes up, she'll either get better, but she'll be tired, or she'll still be in the middle of a crisis, in which case she won't be able to make any sense at all. You can be her doctor, a stranger or yourself, no matter your hair color."

Sander nods and puts his hand flat in the middle of Robbe's back, gently stroking him, while he grabs a bite with his free hand. 

''Okay. I didn't really feel like it. I like my brown hair. And then Eefie and Romi made fun of me so much when I did it, I don't really want to go through that again."

That's enough to make Robbe smile because he can really picture the twins teasing Sander about his hair color.

''Just tell me how I can help, don't leave me out. You're not alone anymore, Robin.''

Robbe nods, caressing Sander's back and dragging him to the couch so he can snuggle up to him.

''You reacted very well. We have to talk to her calmly and not try to upset her. Normally, doctors recommend that only one person should talk to him to avoid further confusion.''

Sander nods, and Robbe can see that he is trying to integrate all this. It's adorable, but it only reinforces Robbe's guilt.

''I'm sorry, Sander. You shouldn't be"

''Stop it right now, Robbe! I'm with you for the good times and the bad times too. I want be here for you, okay? I love your mom and that's not going to change. I understand that it can be hard for some people, but I know she's doing the best she can. You can't blame her for what she can't control."

Robbe nods as he blocks himself against Sander.

''What if I become like that one day?''

Sander frowns before gently caressing Robbe's face.

''What kind of question is that, Robbe? I'll help you as much as I can and I'll always love you. You will always be my king."

Robbe nestles a little more in the hollow of Sander's arms, which surrounds him, enclosing him in a cocoon of tenderness.

"That's why we are going to have at least 4 children. That way they can take turns when they have to take care of us.''

Robbe rolls his eyes and sketches a little smile.

''Close your eyes and imagine this, baby." Sander continues "A house full of kids or teens bickering and making fun of each other but always there for each other when they need it, and you and me, hand in hand in the middle of this happy mess. It's sound like paradise."

Robbe smiles a little more. No, he doesn't imagine that at all but he loves that Sander does it for them.

''Any house with you will be paradise, Sander. Just knowing that you'll be here tomorrow is paradise.''

Sander lets out a satisfied moan while hugging Robbe a little more against him.

"Tomorrow belongs to those who can hear it coming, baby."


	17. Don't worry about us, we're fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so happy with the real instagram we got yesterday! what a great gift for our weekend... (it will be integrated in my fic in 2 chapters, I hope you'll like it...)

_Monday 9 November, 2:32 pm_

Sander is ranting against the TV where the biopic trailer about Bowie is playing and it makes Robbe smile. He likes to see his boyfriend as passionate as ever. Robbe is lying on the couch with his head on Sander's thighs and he is now turned around to look at him, not giving a damn about the TV anyway.

''It's nonsense. Bowie always said he didn't want a biopic done on him, and since his family didn't give away the rights, there won't be any of his songs. But how do they want to honor him? It's just nonsense."

Robbe caresses Sander's cheek and laughs.

''Gee, I thought I'd go see him with you. I really want to see him myself."

Sander looks at him, completely shocked and Robbe starts laughing.

''I'm laughing, babe. I'm laughing."

Sander squints his eyes as if to make sure Robbe is sincere and then takes a teasing smile.

''Good thing you're cute because otherwise I would have kicked you off my lap. No, but really, who let that happen? How can they think it's a tribute to him when it's a concentrate of everything he hated.''

A sob came in and Robbe suddenly straightened up, looking at the door of his mother's room, still closed. Sander mutes the TV and also looks at the door, but there is no sound anymore. Robbe gets up and gently opens the door of his mother's room. Despite the darkness of the room, he sees that she is crying. She is cowering in her bed and seems to be sobbing silently.

''Mom? I'm here, Mom."

She cries a little more, without looking at him, and Robbe squats down beside her, gently caressing her back.

"It's all right, Mom, I'm here."

''No, it's not all right, Robbe. I hit Sander!"

His mother starts crying again and Robbe gently takes her hand, relieved because he knows that if it touches her so much, the crisis is over.

''It's okay, Mom, he's okay. I'm sure you've heard him bitching about the biopic on Bowie, but other than that, he's fine. It's nothing, mom."

His mother shakes her head and sits in bed, drying her tears.

''It's not nothing, Robbe. I am dangerous. I could have hurt him. I have to go see my therapist."

Robbe shakes his head, handing him a handkerchief.

''I called her, and she rescheduled your appointment for Friday afternoon. Don't worry, Mom, everything's fine."

His mother shakes her head before putting it in his hands.

''Sander must be so angry, and''

"May I come in?"

Robbe looks at Sander standing on the doorstep and then looks at his mother who hesitates before bowing her head.

"I'm so ashamed, I'm so sorry, I"

''Hey, stop, Nathalie, it's all right, okay? Don't think about me, I just want you to be fine."

His mother gives a huge sigh and Sander slowly approaches, sitting on the end of the bed.

''You know, maybe in a couple of days I'll be the one who's going to be messing around and walking around the house naked, drawing on your walls or doing something even worse and I know you won't hold it against me, so let's just forget about it and focus on the good times, okay? I'm always very happy to be here with you.''

Robbe smiles at him, thanking him as much as he can with his eyes and he knows that Sander understands that. His mother looks at Sander and nods gently before lying down again, tenderly caressing Robbe's cheek.

''I'm going to rest a little longer, I'm exhausted. Thank you, boys.''

Robbe follows Sander out of the room and hugs him as soon as he closes the door.

''I don't know what I did to deserve you.''

Sander slips his hand into the collar of Robbe's sweater to pull the angel out.

"You must have an angel watching over you."

''Damn right! It's clear! He's been doing so much of his job for the past year."

Sander laughs and lifts Robbe. His legs wrap around Sander's waist before it is even time to think about it. Sander holds him firmly by his thighs and takes him to his room. They just walk through the door and Robbe's computer starts ringing.

"We don't care, we'll call back." moans Robbe without leaving Sander's arms.

Sander opens the computer with one hand while he holds Robbe firmly in his other hand. Robbe could rest his feet on the floor but frankly he doesn't want to. He just wants to do the koala all the rest of the afternoon.

''That's Aaron.''

The call ends and Robbe tightens his grip around Sander's shoulders.

''See, it's over, so we can''

Sander's phone starts ringing on the desk and he grabs it, sitting halfway down on the desk, probably because Robbe's weight starts to weigh him down and picks it up.

''Hi, Aaron!''

Robbe turns his head just to look at Aaron's smiling face.

_''Hi guys! Are you all right?"_

Aaron looks at them and then raises his eyebrows.

_"Is it time for a hug?"_

Robbe sighs, giving Aaron a look as Sander still holds him tight, readjusting Robbe to fit him. And since he makes no sign that he wants Robbe to come down, Robbe remains clinging to him.

"Yeah.'' confirms Sander before kissing Robbe's hair 'What's up?''

_''I wanted to apologize for the other night, and I found a great way!''_

"Aaron, it's okay." Robbe grunts, "It's a long way off."

_''No. Wait. I saw a trailer for a movie that's coming out, and I'm like''_

Robbe detaches himself Sander, putting his feet on the ground again, almost reluctantly, and grabs the phone.

"Shhh! Don't say anything! It's not a good thing, okay?"

Aaron looks at him, visibly surprised while Sander puts his arms around Robbbe's waist and mumbles something incomprehensible in his neck. But maybe it was just a kind of grunt, actually.

_''No, but wait, Robbe, this is a special film about Bo''_

''I'm telling you, it's not a good thing, Aaron. But thank you, that's very nice. Don't worry, we're not thinking about it anymore. Don't think about it, okay?"

Aaron sighs, looking disappointed but soon finds a big smile.

_''Or else, I thought I'd offer you a game? You know, the kind of game for couples that'll help you get through lockdown."_

Aaron says this with so many raised eyebrows that there's no doubt he's talking about a sex game.

"The blue balls are back, man?" Sander laughs.

Aaron makes a frustrated moan that makes Sander laugh.

_''Fuck yeah! If only Amber had wanted to confine herself to me. But she didn't even suggest it. I didn't even think about it either. Fuck that."_

Robbe would almost feel sorry for Aaron. But he loses that idea as soon as Aaron opens his mouth.

_"What's up with this game?"_

"Aaron?"

_"Yes, Sander?"_

"Order a Fleshlight and have fun. Don't worry about us, we're fine."

Aaron frowns and then visibly taps something on his phone before he takes a big smile.

_''Okay, I have to go. See you guys later."_

He hangs up so fast that the boys don't have time to greet him and Robbe starts laughing.

''What's a fleshlight?''

''A masturbator. His wrist will thank me."

Robbe turns around, pushing Sander against the desk.

''And how do you know that, you? Do you have one?"

Sander shakes his head and laughs.

''No. But I keep myself informed.''

Robbe doesn't move and just looks at Sander in the eyes, without blinking once. Sander looks at him just as deeply before rolling his eyes with a sigh.

''Okay. Maybe I looked to buy things on a site but I couldn't decide what would be suitable for us so I gave up. Your idea of going with Milan to a sex shop was much better."

Robbe takes a huge smile and kisses Sander dirty before backing away and leaving his bedroom without a word. He just goes to check that his mother is sleeping peacefully and as she is, he comes back from his bedroom and locks the door.

"Ok. Come here, you."

He gently pushes Sander onto the bed but instead of lying down with him, he moves away from it, causing a frustrated groan. He gets his computer and sits down next to Sander and opens a favorites page. Robbe doesn't miss the surprised but happy smile on his boyfriend's face, nor does he miss Sander's hands already slipping under his sweater, gently caressing his chest.

''Fuck, how long have you been hanging out at this kind of site?"

Robbe smiles as Sander sits behind him, spreading his legs so that she passes on either side of his body, and getting close enough for Robbe to feel his erection against his lower back. Sander's torso sticks completely to Robbe's back and he puts his chin on his shoulder.

''I did some research before I went to buy your gift, I didn't want to look stupid in front of Milan. But we could both place an order together, couldn't we?"

Sander's breathing becomes more jerky as he tightens a little more against Robbe.

''It's fucking hot! Oh Robbe...You have the face of an angel but you're a fucking devil."

Robbe shuts down the computer, trying to keep a straight face.

''If you think it's too much, we don't have to.''

Sander moans, caressing Robbe's arms from his elbows to his hands to make him open the computer again.

''Show me what you want.''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and feels his cheeks turn red. He quickly hopes that Sander won't notice it, but Sander kisses him gently on the cheek, showing him that he has seen it.

''Hey Robin, no shame with me, okay? Tell me what you'd like."

Robbe nods, scrolling until he finds what he hesitated to buy.

''Oh... you like what vibrates, then? Okay, put it in the basket."

Robbe turns to look at Sander, but Sander grabs the computer and lies down on the bed, putting the computer in front of him to fill the basket.

''Oh shit, now I can't wait for him to arrive. Are you going to see any more fun stuff?"

Robbe lies down on Sander, purposely rubbing his erection against his buttocks and Sander throws his head back so Robbe can kiss him. But before Robbe is satisfied with this kiss, Sander detaches himself and turns back to the screen.

''Do I have the right to choose something for you? When you came to see me in my dreams, once, you wore this and it drove me crazy."

Sander scrolls through the underwear part of the site and stops smiling but Robbe raises an eyebrow.

''Really?''

Sander nods his head then turns slightly to look at Robbe.

"Do you think it's too much?''

Robbe raises his shoulders, cheeks squarely red then clicks on add to basket.

''All the way or no way, babe, right? If it pleases you, I can try. But no photos, no drawings, promise?''

Sander nods reluctantly and it's makes Robbe laugh. 

''Ok, I want something in that, too.'' Sander says by clicking on another category.

Robbe nods, moving his hips slightly against Sander's butt as he scrolls down the page.

"That!'' says Robbe "I want to try that!"

"Fuck yeah!'' moans Sander.

In less than five minutes Sander validates the order, pays it and shuts down the computer. Robbe wonders if he is in such a hurry because he is afraid that Robbe will retreat, but Sander turns around and takes off Robbe's top in the same gesture, kissing him squarely dirty and Robbe manages to have only one coherent thought : 

Can't wait for the command to arrive! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any idea what they ordered? I'd love to hear your suggestions...
> 
> good sunday to you !


	18. The man of my dreams.

_Friday 13 November, 10:58am_

The doorbell of the house startled Robbe as he was talking with Jens on the video chat.

''Damn I have to leave you, but Chinese food is perfect. Thanks Jens."

Robbe doesn't even take the time to turn off the chat on his computer when he's already in the hallway. The door of the guest room opens almost at the same time and he assumes that Sander has left the school project he wanted to finish this morning as quickly as Robbe has left his conversation.

''It's okay mom, I'll take care of it.''

His mother nods and returns to the kitchen, to Robbe's great relief. He grabs a mask and opens the door, Sander practically glued behind him. He can almost feel all of Sander's excitement when he picks up the parcel. He turns around with the precious package in his hands and Sander doesn't move, just looking at it with eyes shining with excitement.

Robbe takes off his mask just to show his naughty smile and bends over so he can whisper in Sander's ear.

''My mother leaves at one o'clock for at least an hour. I can't wait."

Sander makes a kind of growl, pulling Robbe's waist closer to him.

''Fuck, you're so''

''Everything all right, guys?''

Robbe startled and lets out a scream that makes Sander laugh, so he elbows him and pushes him into the house.

"Is that for you?''

Robbe looks at the package and then at his mother and... he bugs. He wants to say yes but no sound comes out of his mouth.

''No, it's mine.'' Sander says and takes the parcel from his hands ''I needed some extra supplies for work.''

Robbe sees his mother nodding her head as she walks back into the kitchen. Since she got better, she spends her time cooking, and it is not to displease Robbe and Sander who enjoy it.

"I think I'm going to spend the afternoon working. I was really looking forward to it."

Robbe widens his eyes while Sander laughs as he walks up the hallway.

''That's nice, Sander, but enjoy the end of your vacation anyway.''

Sander turns around just to send a wink to Robbe's attention, knowing full well that his mother doesn't see him.

''Don't worry, Robbe always makes sure I take a break, but he also knows that I'm not going to stop thinking about my new supplies until I can use them.''

Robbe joins Sander and puts his hand over his mouth and pushes him into his room, taking the parcel with his hands.

''You're just an asshole.''

Sander raises an eyebrow and pulls the nape of Robbe's neck to keep him close, using his other hand to squeeze his ass.

''You like it, baby. I can already fucking see what we're gonna do with all this and''

A throat clearing makes them startle and Robbe moans as he looks at Jens who is still on the screen.

"Jens! What are you doing here, Bro?"

Jens shrugs his shoulders, pulling on his joint.

''I was waiting for you to come back, but I guess our conversation is over. You look like you have better things to do. Have fun, lucky guys, and see you tonight. 20pm?"

Robbe nods and cuts off the conversation before coming back to Sander, but instead of kissing him he pulls his lower lip with his teeth.

"Shall we open it?"

Sander shakes his head and smiles.

''Patience, baby. In less than two hours we'll have the house to ourselves.''

Robbe moans frustrated and Sander kisses him laughing.

''Be patient, Robin, I swear it'll be worth it. I'll finish my project so I can spend the whole afternoon with you."

Sander comes out of his room, carrying the package, leaving him like an idiot with a fucking boner, and his imagination overflowing with ideas about what they're going to be able to do. And that's why he jumps on Sander as soon as his mother walks through the door to go to her appointment.

''Horny, baby?''

Robbe nods shamelessly because he can see that Sander wants it as much as he does.

''Let's go to our bedroom, please, Sander.''

Sander pretends to hesitate so Robbe leave with a shrug.

''Oh too bad, I'll have fun on my own then.''

He hasn't yet walked half the distance between the living room and his room, so Sander grabs him by the waist to wear it.

''You wouldn't dare, little rascal. Come here."

The package is already lying in the middle of their bed and Robbe assumes that Sander has put it there before he comes to eat. Sander puts Robbe on the bed next to the parcel and Robbe opens it, almost trembling with excitement. He knows he has red cheeks when he finds out what they have ordered, but he doesn't care.

''We'll stop as soon as one of us doesn't feel it, okay, Robbe?''

Robbe rolls his eyes when looking at Sander. He knows very well that he would immediately stop what they are doing if Robbe asks him. This has already happened before and they had no problem talking about it again, or testing it again afterwards.

''I know. And that goes for you, too. Do you want me to put it on now?"

Robbe doesn't have to wait for Sander's answer to know that he wants it. So he gets up from bed and grabs the bag before disappearing into the bathroom.

He takes off his sweater and his tee shirt, open the bag, puts it on and then realizes that it's probably upside down. He bursts out laughing, changes direction but it doesn't look good either so he laughs again as he looks at himself in the mirror. He looks weird. Sander would look hot in that, but he just looks weird. Too skinny maybe. Or not muscular enough. And now he can't help thinking that Sander will be disappointed.

''If you don't want to, you don't have to, baby. It can wait, you know."

Robbe looks at himself again and then slowly opens the door.

''I don't even know if it's in the right place. I look like"

Robbe stops because Sander jumps on him, letting his hands run over his body with a kind of excited grunting. Sander steps back and looks at him, his eyes widening again.

''Fuck, so much better than in my dreams, Ijzermans.''

Sander puts his hands on his chest, stopping just before touching the black harness that really seems to drive him crazy.

''Damn, you're so hot. Just that and your jeans, it's so fucking hot."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders, not really knowing why Sander gets so excited about it and he doesn't have time to ask because Sander grabs a belt loop from his jeans and pulls it towards him.

''Let's go to the bedroom, Robin.''

Robbe follows him, smiling when he notices that the harness forces him to stand a little straighter. Sander seems to notice it too and Robbe smiles, already imagining how he will be able to excite Sander by wearing it one day, at a party for example, knowing that only the two of them would know. For sure Sander gets really, really excited about it.

But for now, Sander closes the bedroom door before coming to kiss him, letting his hands run over his body again. 

''Damn, you're so perfect. The man of my dreams."

Robbe raises an eyebrow and smiles.

"Oh yeah?"

Sander nods, unbuttoning Robbe's jeans before taking them off and looking at him.

''Of course...Damn. Yeah. How did you know?"

Robbe knew when he got dressed this morning that Sander would love him to wear a black jockstrap, matching the shoulder harness.

''I got an e-mail saying that the order will arrive today.''

Sander makes a frustrated moan.

''Damn, why did I promise not to take your picture? You're so hot like that."

Robbe starts laughing and puts his arms around Sander.

''I'm all yours, isn't this better than a picture?''

Sander nods and pulls Robbe onto the bed.

"All mine?"

Robbe nods softly with a naughty smile.

''Yeah. Just tell me what you want to do to me or whatever you want me to do to you."

Sander groans in response and then stands up so he can sit on Robbe's thighs.

''Undress me.''

Robbe takes a big smile and slides his hands under Sander's sweater to take it off before doing the same thing with his T-shirt. He gently pushes him so that Sander gets up and takes off his jeans, boxer shorts and socks before grabbing the lubricant they just received.

''Can I?''

He looks up, waiting for Sander's approval just on principle because he knows he's going to say yes.

''Of course.''

Robbe struggles a bit with the plastic that holds the bottle closed but he manages to open it and slips it into his hand before caressing Sander with it. 

''That's fucking cold. Why I let you choose this, it's''

Robbe takes Sander's dick in his mouth, and he immediately feels him startle.

''Oh shit. Oh... I feel like your mouth is on fire.''

Robbe steps back so he can look at him.

"Is it too much?''

Sander shakes his head, guiding Robbe's head to take it back again.

''No. It's great. Very good choice, my love. Oh god, yes.''

Robbe lets Sander set the pace and even though he yawns a little, he's too satisfied with the groans of the elder to stop.

"Fuck, stop.''

Sander pushes Robbe backwards so that he can lie down on the bed.

''I want to make you try what you've chosen. Do you want to? Usher is ready to play with you."

Robbe rolls his eyes while letting his head touch the mattress.

''Don't call him Usher. But why are you giving him a name?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''What? Hush, it made me think of Usher. And he's going to be your new best friend, so"

"Sander?"

"Yes."

"Shut up. Please.''

Sander laughs and lies down to kiss Robbe.

''I thought I was leading the dance today?"

Robbe nods and Sander kisses him again before leaving.

''Wait, I'll get another lube because the extreme cold makes for a really great blowjob, but I don't think you'd like it so much here.''

Sander grabs a tube from the bedside table and gently inserts his fingers while licking Robbe's nipples. But very quickly he removes his fingers and replaces them with the plug. Sander takes his phone out of his pocket and the vibration starts immediately.

''Oh damn, that's''

Robbe can't even finish his sentence because Sander grabs the extreme cold lubricant and strokes Robbe's cock with it before taking it in his mouth. And Robbe understands: he feels like Sander's mouth is on fire and the contrast is just unbelievable. The contact with Sander's tongue almost burns him but it feels so good that he would never want it to stop.

The vibrations get a little stronger and Robbe stands up a little to see Sander's naughty smile sucking him while managing the intensity on his phone.

''Sander, I want you. Take me."

Sander lets go of Robbe's cock but shakes his head and straddles him, bending over his ear to lick it before whispering.

''Oh no. You're the one who's going to come and fuck me."

Sander drops down on the bed next to Robbe and lubricates his fingers before plunging into him, looking Robbe in the eyes. And seeing Sander get ready is always a hot show. Robbe moans about the vibration against his prostate as he changes position and comes to stand between Sander's legs, letting his cock replace Sander's fingers.

It's even harder to get in gently when the vibrations make him want to go fast and he needs to come. He knows he's not going to last but he doesn't want to come. He wants it to last a long time because it's so good. Sander grabs his phone and Robbe lets go of a relief, glad he understands this and lowers the intensity, but instead the vibrations become stronger than ever.

''Oh shit, Sander, that's too much.''

Sander looks him in the eye, suddenly looking almost worried.

''Really too much?''

Robbe tries to take a breath without being overwhelmed but shakes his head.

"No...it's....I'm fine...''

Sander stands up to kiss him, putting his phone on the mattress next to them.

''Okay, then fuck me hard.''

Robbe finally allows himself to come out before coming back hard, wrenching a hoarse moan out of Sander as he grabs the harness.

"Again."

Robbe starts again several times, but it quickly becomes too slow for him so he quickly increases his pace, already chasing his own orgasm because he really needs it. He bites Sander's neck, probably leaving a trace and then attacks his ear.

''Fuck, that's so much, I"

"Stop!"

Robbe freezes immediately but if it's really, really hard to do and only when the vibrations stop Robbe realizes that Sander had grabbed his phone.

''Stop, Robbe.''

Robbe comes out completely, standing up to look at Sander but Sander pushes him just to get him to stand next to him.

''Sander? Are you okay, babe?''

Sander puts both hands on his cheeks, smiling at him with a devilish air and kissing him.

''I wasn't going to let you come like that. Let me take care of you."

Robbe lets out a big sigh, hitting Sander's chest.

''Fuck! You scared the shit out of me! I thought I did something wrong, idiot."

Sander smiles a big smile before he bites Robbe's neck.

''You're running out of patience, baby. Do you want to get down on all fours for me?"

Robbe smiles and raises an eyebrow.

''You want to fuck me holding this harness, right?''

Sander nods and bites Robbe's neck again.

''Since I saw you in it, yeah.''

Robbe pulls the plug out and puts himself on his hands and knees. He doesn't have to wait long before Sander's hands land on his buttocks and then go up to his waist. Sander enters him almost too fast but it feels so good when he touches the bottom that Robbe just moans.

Sander comes out completely before he comes back again and does it again several times before grabbing the loop in the middle of the harness and pulling it towards him, forcing Robbe to stand up, until he is almost completely sitting on Sander's cock.

''Fuck, you're so fucking hot, Robin.''

Robbe turns his head as much as possible to be able to kiss Sander and even if it is mostly their tongues that meet, it's really good.

Sander pushes him back just a little to get a better angle and sinks into him quickly, hitting his protaste every time, wrenching his orgasm out of him from deep inside.

"Damn it, Sander."

Sander grunts and quickly hits Robbe's ass before coming in with a hoarse groan, almost shouting his boyfriend's name. Robbe feels his strength letting go of him completely and he falls flat on the bed just as Sander falls on top of him. 

Sander bumps his mouth against the metal ring of the harness and if Robbe hears him,he's still too far in his high to worry about it. But Sander immediately moves and gets out of bed so fast that Robbe turns his head to look at him. And the only thing he sees are the blood drops on the pillow.

''Shit, what the hell?''

"I bit myself." laughs Sander, placing a handkerchief on his lip. ''That thing is dangerous.''

Robbe starts laughing, so Sander comes back to snuggle up to him, laughing too, and he helps him remove the object of the crime.

''But it was fucking good.''

Robbe nods, lying down and hugging Sander against him.

''Oh yeah, I'm dead. Let's just rest for 2 minutes."

Sander chuckles, pulling the cover over them.

''Do you know that means you're going to sleep till 6:00 pm?''

Robbe grunts in Sander's neck, eyes already closed.

''Rest, baby. Usher will take care of you tonight.''

Robbe doesn't even bother to answer, already imagining what it would be like to have the vibrating plug in him and Sander playing with intensity while they chat and eat with the guys in visio.

And this idea is enough to make him not want to sleep at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok....then...
> 
> I love shoulder harnesses! Not the leather BDSM kind with nails and all, just the simple fabric harnesses (in this style but with a loop in the middle of the crossing : https://topgay.com/fr/harnais/4171-26613-harnais-spider-charbon-15.html#/39-taille-m_l ) I don't know why, I just think it really enhances a man's torso...
> 
> And the plug is a Hush from Lovense that can be controlled from an application...enough to leave two guys smiling and fulfilled.


	19. To get high of hapiness.

_Friday 13 November, 9:17 pm_

''Sander, Fuck.''

Sander raises an eyebrow and Robbe knows he's asking him if he really can't stand it or if he's just saying that for the sake of form or because he was surprised. And clearly, Robbe was totally surprised. He was too focused on the game, he didn't see Sander take his phone, and he didn't think he would turn on the plug without warning him. 

''What is he doing?'' asks Aaron.

Robbe looks at his friends who are waiting for him to play and looks at him frowning. They spent an hour laughing because the guys had them deliver Chinese food and Sander definitely can't eat with chopsticks, just like Moyo and Aaron by the way. It was really fun. And now they're playing a game of virtual poker together. 

''Nothing, that's okay. Everything is fine."

Robbe looks at Sander from the corner of his eye and smiles.

''Everything is fine.''

''Yeah, you said that already, Robbe. Well, are you playing?" Moyo gets angry.

They all frown at the same time and Moyo lets out a big sigh.

''Yeah, sorry. Shitty day. Sorry about that."

Moyo grabs a beer and drinks it almost halfway through. 

''I heard Kato wanted to call you this afternoon.'' Aaron says, ''Is that what pissed you off?''

''Robbe, can we play, please?'' begs Moyo and takes his beer back. "Aaron, shut up.''

''It's okay, I'm playing. Full house, guys."

Moyo grumbles and the computer declares _Sobbe_ the winner.

''No fair, you're two for play.'' Aaron grumbles.

''It doesn't make any difference. Okay, so I can ask anything and anybody I want, right?"

''That's what we said. '' confirms Jens '' whoever wins the round can ask a question. But nothing about couples."

Robbe smiles and Sander moves closer to the screen.

''I ask the question. Aaron, did you take my advice?''

Robbe moans, clearly not wanting to know and he wonders why Sander does it.

''Oh yeah! Thanks Sander, you're great. That's really great."

''What was the advice?'' asks Jens, lighting a joint.

''It's between Sander and me.'' says Aaron before he deals the cards again. ''And Robbe but only because he's still glued to Sander.''

Robbe can't really concentrate anymore, feeling the vibration winning him over. He doesn't even try to listen to the conversation anymore and just puts his head on Sander's shoulder.

"Oh Robbe, are you asleep?"

Robbe closes his eyes, trying to concentrate on the vibrations that only make him want to cut the fucking conversation and get naked in bed with his boyfriend.

''Mmmhhh...No? Go Sander, play."

The vibrations increase and Robbe opens his eyes to find Sander's, who puts his phone down and then looks at him with a devilish look on his face.

"What are you doing?"

Sander smiles and bends over to whisper in Robbe's ear.

"I'm playing."

Robbe lets his head fall back into Sander's neck, closing his eyes again, trying to hold back the moans that want to come out of him, feeling his breathing accelerating sharply.

''Robbe, are you alright?'' asks Aaron ''Did you smoke or what?''

''What? I thought you had more weed?" asks Jens.

Robbe makes a superhuman effort to sit down properly and open his eyes to look at his friends.

''No, I'm just tired. I don't smoke anymore, guys."

''You could if you want.'' says Sander softly.

Robbe gently shakes his head.

''I don't need that to be high.''

Sander takes a huge smile and rubs their noses together.

"I know."

"Oh guys, we're here!'' reminds Jens ''It's your turn."

Sander quickly plays a card that is not the one Robbe would have played, but in the end he gets a better game, so Robbe saying nothing. He just starts to get used to the vibrations that Sander's left hand gently caresses him through his pants. Robbe looks at his friends who are focused on their game and leans towards Sander.

''What are you doing?''

Sander raises an eyebrow and smiles.

''What? You told me to have fun. We can have fun, right? Unless it's too much for you."

Sander has a kind of smirk on his face, and Robbe knows exactly how to show him that it's not too much for him.

''To you guys! Fuck, Robbe, you're not focused at all tonight."

Robbe jumps and it amplifies the vibrations so he''ll be shaking his head before looking at the screen.

''Yeah, sorry, I'll be right back. Play, Sander."

Robbe shifts just enough to get out of the webcam frame and looks at Sander frowning at him. He signals him not to say anything and comes back to him on his knees so he doesn't appear on the screen. He slowly unbuttons Sander's pants, congratulating himself for locking his door before calling his friends and slowly pulls down his boxer shorts.

Sander jumps a little, readjusts himself and looks at Robbe with a face so astonished that if he had hesitated, now he doesn't hesitate anymore. He moves closer so he can lick Sander's cock which lets out a surprised noise.

"Sander, are you okay?"

Aaron's voice spoils everything, but it's really exciting at the same time.

''Yeah, I just have a great game. I can't believe how lucky I'm."

''I'm sure you're bluffing.''

Robbe tries not to listen to his friends' voices and focuses on Sander. The way his dick hardens in his mouth. To his hand resting in his hair, pulling it lightly and to noises so light that only Robbe can hear them. Robbe looks at Sander, knowing full well that he goes crazy when Robbe sucks his dick looking him in the eyes and Sander starts to shake.

''It's up to you, Sander.''

''Damn, you're so handsome, Robin.''

Robbe shakes his head, can't believe his idiot boyfriend sells him like that.

''Wait, where is Robbe?''

''Damn, he's looking at the floor. I dream where you guys do stuff?"

''What?'' moans Sander. ''No. He's changing his shirt. It's okay, I've played, it's your turn, Jens.''

Robbe is stroking Sander, making him hit the tip of his dick against his tongue when he feels the vibrations amplify once again. The moaning he pushes makes his cheeks turn red immediately because he knows that everyone has heard him.

"What the fuck is going on, guys?"

''Oh shit, are you okay, Robbe? He bumped his foot in the bed. Oh, shit, it's bleeding. Shit. We'll be right back, guys."

Sander pauses, closes the screen and pulls Robbe to his feet, kissing him dirty, pushing him onto the desk, causing him to moan contentedly.

"Do you realize what you've just done? Suck me off in front of your buddies?"

Robbe shakes his head while laughing.

''I didn't suck you off in front of my buddies. They couldn't see anything. And it's your fault, you start that. Now, I'm gonna die if you don't touch me."

Sander kisses him again, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling his dick out.

''I won't let you die like that, baby.''

Robbe lets his head drop back when Sander caresses him and then lines up their dicks together so he can caress them. He leans over towards Sander, letting his head rest on his shoulder.

''I love you. Fuck, you drive me crazy."

Sander gently bites his neck and then his ear and makes a satisfied moan when Robbe comes on his belly. 

''At last. Fuck, never again, this is just too much.''

Sander gently pulls Robbe's chin so he looks at him.

"Really?"

Robbe rests his head against Sander's shoulder and sighs.

''No, not really. It's really exciting. But you can stop it, please."

Sander pretends to hesitate and Robbe rolls his eyes.

''Please. If you are nice to me, I'll be nice to you."

Sander grabs his phone and even though it was nice, Robbe feels relieved when the vibrations stop. He pushes Sander to sit down on the desk chair and licks his belly, which makes Sander moan before he takes it in his mouth, only letting go after Sander comes in his mouth.

''Shall we go to bed or shall we go back to the poker game?''

Robbe gets up and opens the computer almost reluctantly.

"Let's just finish this part, otherwise we'll be hearing about it for years. I'll be right back."

Robbe heads to the bathroom, hoping not to run into his mother. He removes the plug, feeling less and less comfortable with it but already knowing that he will use it again because it's really good. But before that maybe he can convince Sander to try, because he would love to play with his phone too and see Sander go crazy. 

And with that in mind, he sits down next to Sander, resting his head on his shoulder while Sander loses.

"Yeah! I win!" shouts Jens "Ok, Sander.''

Robbe shakes his head and frowns.

''No. He doesn't answer any questions. No shit."

Jens rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of beer.

''Okay. So, a challenge."

Robbe looks at him, but since Jens doesn't look too high, he nods.

''Tell us."

''Great. I'll give you two days to do your first real on instagram."

Sander frowns.

"Like a dance challenge like on tik-tok? You're dreaming."

Jens shrugs his shoulders. 

''No, this could be what you want. Just a real one. Come on, it'll be fun."

Sander's mobile starts ringing almost immediately and Sander takes it and shows Robbe the message.

_From Jens 9.38 p.m._

_Otherwise I point out to the guys that Robbe hasn't changed his shirt and they'll never leave you alone with this._

Robbe picks up Sander's phone and stands out in front of the camera so that Jens knows that he's the one who answers him, with a single emoji with a raised middle finger.

"I'll take that as a yes. I can't wait to see it," laughs Jens.

And that's how Robbe and Sander find themselves the next day, in the kitchen, for their first real one.

Robbe and Sander went for a walk with Robbe's father this morning and it was really nice. They talked a lot about living together and then Sander pretended he had an errand to run. Robbe was sure he just wanted to give him the opportunity to talk to his father alone but Sander joined them half an hour later, a huge smile on his face and two full shopping bags. 

It was only when they came home, after Robbe's father had left, that Sander showed them the Croque 2000 he had found.

''It will be our first gift for our future apartment. That way we'll make croque every night. The paradise."

And now they are laughing, making mountains of croques, because Sander wants to eat some tonight but he also wants to have some left over for tomorrow. Robbe looks at the messages, trying to silence Sander who counts the number of people who are currently watching them. It feels weird to say that people are watching them live but it's fun.

And Robbe smiles a bit more when he sees Eefi's message: _love You_. He doesn't even have to think about it and answer.

"Love you too."

He frowns a little when he reads Romi who writes _Los amo,_ then remembers what it means and smiles.

And it quickly gets a bit crazy like every time they cook together: Sander wants to do everything at the same time, wants to add ingredients, but instead of doing it in different croques, he wants to mix everything in the same one. And the washing machine that starts to make a noise not possible behind the door. So they laugh. A lot.

Jens sends them a thumbs up in emoticons and then asks them if they have had a drink and that makes Robbe laugh a little more. If they're laughing for nothing and they look high, it's because they're drunk with love. But he won't say that out loud because his friends will make fun of him.

And it gets even worse when Sander shows him Kim, who bought it this morning along with the Croque 2000.

But when Robbe looks at the result of the video, all he sees is that they are both happy. It's clear that he's living the best possible lockdown there. Even when Sander grabs the chopsticks left over from last night's meal and tries to catch a croque, but he doesn't succeed and Robbe catches the tomato and Sander almost chokes on it.

''I knew your mouth was really big, but it wasn't an good idea.''

Sander laughs, blocking himself against Robbe on the sofa, catching a croques on the coffee table.

''Apart from that, the Croque 2000 is a fucking wonderful idea. And my new best friend agrees with me."

Sander turns on the chicken and it starts singing, swearing again that its laugh sounds like Robbe's and that's why he bought it. Robbe's mother passes behind them at the same time and bursts out laughing.

''It's absolutely true, it really looks like your laugh, Robbe.''

Robbe looks at his mother and Sander both laugh and he smile. Yeah, they don't need alcohol or grass to get high of hapiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just flying the Sander's real because I thought it was so perfect...it was so nice to see them laughing and having fun together. WTFock and the Willems really gave us a nice gift there (enough to make up for season 4).
> 
> I'm hopeful that in season 5, they will live together, like Evak or Elu (even if we had to wait season 5 for that, instead of season 4 for Evak).
> 
> In short, in the meantime, I hope you still like my story.


	20. It sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter today, but you know what they say: anything small is cute ❤️❤️

_Monday 16 November, 12:06 pm_

Robbe makes a big moan when he closes his computer and stretches as the door to his bedroom opens just enough to let a perfect face and a clump of brown hair through.

"Look at that, Robin, your wonderful boyfriend is picking you up after school to go to lunch."

Robbe chuckles as he opens his arms and Sander crosses the room to come and sit on his lap, kissing him gently.

"Thanks babe."

Robbe sighs as he pushes his head into the hollow of Sander's neck. Sander gently caresses his cheek before kissing him on the temple.

"Was it hard?"

Robbe raises his shoulders.

''It's a nice mess especially. We have some classes in video but on other days we have to go to school. I guess it's the same for you. I'm just tired of all this shit. I got to go to school tomorrow, but it's not even sure yet. It sucks.''

Sander hugs him, gently rubbing his back.

''I know, but everything's gonna be okay, all right? We're both going to be okay. And then you'll be able to see your friends in real life again. Come on, let's eat. I helped your mom make lasagna because my art teacher was away. Come on."

Sande pulls him gently by the arm and they cross the corridor before entering the kitchen. Robbe is greeted by a smell almost as delicious as the music that fills the room. Robbe looks at his mother who is doing the dishes while waddling in rhythm on Blue Jeans.

"I see you've decided to corrupt my mother too." Robbe whispers with a smile.

"Corrupt?" falsely indignant Sander falsely says "With Bowie? Impossible.''

Sander moves closer so he can whisper in Robbe's ear.

''I taught you with Bowie, but I corrupted you with my body, baby.''

Robbe chokes with his saliva, pushing Sander away with an elbow as he looks at his mother who cuts off the water and wipes her hands.

''Come on, guys, let's eat. We are going to delight ourselves."

And indeed, it's really good. Robbe takes some more and his mother watches him do it with a huge smile.

''It's good to see you eating, honey. You're always so skinny, I always wonder if you eat enough."

Robbe rolls his eyes as he sighs.

''Mom! You can see I'm eating. Stop it with that."

His mother waves to him before turning to Sander.

''Eat, Sander. You have to get strong enough to last until tonight."

Sander shakes his head and smiles.

''If I eat more, I'll have to take a nap, Nathalie. And I don't think the teachers would be very happy."

Robbe's mother shrugs her shoulders before looking at the time.

''I'm probably going for a walk after my appointment. Be good, okay? Don't miss classes on the first day, I trust you."

''Of course, mom.''

Robbe rolls his eyes and goes to get his dessert. He's always choosing when Sander slips behind him, passing his arms on either side of his waist to grab a yoghurt.

''I think the idea of taking a nap with you is pretty good.''

Robbe smiles, closes the fridge and turns towards Sander. His mother is busy on her phone so he bends over Sander's ear gently.

''Too bad, I'm not sleepy.''

Sander raises his eyebrows and smiles.

''Neither am I.''

Robbe looks at the time on the pendulum hanging in the kitchen and sighs.

''I have biology class in 5 minutes. Shit, I have to go. Sorry. See you later."

Robbe reaches his bedroom with a sigh, finishing eating his yoghurt while logging on. The biology teacher greets them and Robbe takes out his notebook, trying to concentrate. The door of his bedroom opens and Sander appears, a cup in his hand that he gently places in Robbe's hands. And the smell of coffee that fills his room immediately makes him feel a little better.

''Thank you baby. I love you. You're gonna make this class so much better."

''Mr. Ijzermans, your mike is on.''

The other students giggle, especially his friends from elsewhere who are literally laughing their heads off, and Robbe rolls his eyes.

''Sorry.''

He cuts the microphone and smiles at Sander who gently strokes his cheek.

"Are you with us, Robbe?"

Robbe nods as he turns towards the screen and he hears the door of his bedroom closing. Anyway Sander has a class at 1.30 pm. Robbe takes a sip of coffee, and feels his phone vibrating in his pocket so he takes it out, almost certain that it's his friends who are laughing at him, but he smiles when he reads the message.

_Sander 1h12pm_

_I arrived well in class. I love you._  
_I miss you already 😢._  
_Oh shit, am I too clingy?_  
_OK I promise I'll stop._  
_I'm sorry._  
_Igore my texts._  
_Except for the part where I tell you I love you._

_To Sander 1h15pm_

_I love you too, silly._  
_I miss you too._  
_Work well._

_Sander 1h17pm_

_I'll get a reward if I work really well?_

_To Sander 1h18pm_

_Yes, of course you will._  
_What kind of reward do you want?_

_Sander 1h18pm_

_You._  
_Just you._

_To Sander 1h19pm_

_You've already got me!_  
_I'm only yours, Sander._  
_100% in all universes._

''Mr Izermans, put down your phone and take out your course book!''

Robbe drops his phone on the floor of his room and shows that he opens his textbook.

"Sorry."

The phone emits a ping and Robbe bends over just to look at the screen, while smiling at his biology teacher who looks at him frowning.

_Sander 1h24pm_

❤️❤️❤️  
_oh my god I love you_

Classes go incredibly slow until the break at 2:55 pm. Robbe gets up, stretches and walks slowly to the guest room which has become Sander's lair. As the door is open, Robbe leans just against the doorframe to look at his boyfriend who is certainly interpreting a painting or a photo he see on the screen, talking about how the sun is reflected on the bottom of the photo, wanting to show that there is more to see than what we really see, or something like that. Robbe doesn't understand everything but he still likes to listen to Sander talk like that. Sander stops and takes a big smile and it makes Robbe smile because he's sure his teacher just congratulated him.

Robbe looks at the bed behind Sander. There are two drawings of landscapes on it. Robbe knows that this is not what Sander prefers to draw but they are really beautiful.

''Do you like the view?''

Robbe smiles, joining Sander to sit on his lap.

''You are beautiful when you are passionate.''

Robbe kisses him tenderly and Sander kisses him back, sliding his hands down his back before breaking the kiss.

Robbe takes off his T-shirt in one fell swoop, with a naughty smile.

"What about this nap thing?"

Sander pursues his lips so as not to laugh before taking a big smile.

''I turned off my mic but I'm still in class, babe.''

Robbe turns around and sees a man in his thirties looking at him with his eyebrows raised and other students smiling, laughing, some even waving at him.

Sander take off his headphones, and the students' chuckles invade the bedroom, followed by congratulations and a male voice that says to Sander he's too lucky and a girl says to continued.

"Hi Robbe!" says Noor with a smile.

"Mr. Driesen, can we get back to it?"

Sander turns his mic back on as Robbe descends from his knees, retrieving his T-shirt from the floor.

"Yes of course, don't bother about me."

''Alright, I see where you get the inspiration for your nude work from. By the way, I want to tell you about it at the end of the course. But in the meantime, Mr. Rodeik, what do you think of your classmate's analysis?"

Robbe leaves the room with red cheeks, promising himself inwardly that he will never again walk through that door, and goes back to his computer for the two remaining classes.


	21. Ok calm down, Robbe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly when I started this story, I had no idea where I was going...and I still have no idea...but it's nice to make it up as you go along...thanks to you for being here to follow this story 😘 😘

_Monday 16 November, 7:14 p.m._

''Robbe, wake up, baby.''

Robbe grunts, moves slightly on the cushion and realizes that he was sleeping with his mouth open. 

"Robbe, please."

Sander's voice is worried so Robbe opens his eyes and the first thing he sees is the time. 7h15 pm. Shit. How could he sleep so long? 

He remembers wallowing on his bed at the end of class, hiding his head under his pillow and then Sander came back to him and laughed when Robbe moaned that he had died of shame, not coming back that his whole class saw him jumping on him, half naked, like a horny dog. He remembers exactly how serious Sander looked when he answered him.

 _"Already Karel had gone to pee so he didn't see you, and frankly he regretted it when the others told him, and then you were not a horny dog, but a boyfriend in love and everyone thought you were too cute. That's the only advantage of distance learning, we all wait for moments like this._ _Come on, it was funny._ _.''_

No, Robbe still doesn't find it funny. But Sander swore it was, before he took off his shirt, saying that he wanted to finish what they had started but without any spectators this time, and then Robbe lost his train of thought to the rhythm of Sander's kisses...and fell asleep as soon as they finished. He almost heard himself say that he just wanted to close his eyes to rest for 2 minutes.

''Robbe, can you hear me? What shall we do?"

Robbe rubs his eyes, pushing his hair back from his forehead and looks at Sander who looks really worried.

''What? About what?"

Sander sighs and puts his hands on Robbe's shoulders as if to help him to anchor himself in reality.

''Your mom isn't home yet, Robbe. I tried to call her but her phone is disconnected."

Robbe looks at the time again and gets out of bed to catch his clothes on the floor.

''She's not home at all? Not all afternoon?''

Sander shrugs his shoulders.

''I don't know, I was in class. I came to your bedroom after my last class at five o'clock and I just woke up, but she's not there and he hasn't got a word anywhere. And frankly I don't feel like she's home from the afternoon.''

Robbe runs almost to the living room and takes a look in the kitchen but actually his mother is not there and there is no trace of her passing by. And in her room either. Robbe tries to call his mother on her cell phone but it goes straight to the answering machine.

"She doesn't answer Sander. Fuck, she doesn't answer."

He tries again immediately but it's the same result. Sander puts his hands on Robbe's shoulders, obviously trying to figure out how to calm him down.

"I know. Ok calm down, Robbe. Wait, let's call his therapist to see if she went to her appointment, ok?"

Robbe nods, a tear streaming down the corner of his cheek. She's never disappeared like that before. She seemed fine today, but that doesn't mean anything.

''Do you have the number? Robbe? Do you have her therapist's number?"

Robbe nods, handing Sander his phone. He doesn't need to tell him where to look, because Sander already has the phone in his ear. At the same time, since he is registered at _"Therapist Mom"_ , there is no need to have too many doubts.

"Yes, hi, I'm..." Sander coughs ''Robbe Ijzermans. My mother didn't come home, I need to know if she came to her appointment. Yes. Ok, thanks. Did that go well? Oh, right. Yes, at this number. Thanks."

Sander nods and gently puts the phone back in Robbe's hands.

''Her therapist has to call you back. She was well at her appointment and left at 3 pm, as usual. She tells you if''

The phone starts ringing and Robbe almost drops it on the floor but he catches it and picks it up. 

_''Robbe? The secretary just told me that you wanted to know if your mother had come?"_

''Yes, I'm worried because she's not home, and her phone is off.''

_''I understand. But she was fine, Robbe. She told me that she was going to go for a walk after the session, that walking was good for her. Maybe she just didn't know what time it was. I understand that you are worried, but I think she's going to go home soon."_

Robbe nods, trying to convince himself of that too, but when he looks at the night outside, it doesn't really reassure him.

''Okay. Thank you."

_''I'll be off at 8:00pm but I'll call you tomorrow, Robbe, okay? Don't worry, she'll be back.''_

''Yes. Thanks."

Robbe hangs up and tries to think, but he doesn't know what to do. Sander seems to be thinking and then he forces Robbe to sit down around the table.

''Has that ever happened before?''

Robbe shakes his head.

''Okay. Do you know a place where she would go? Her favorite place, maybe?"

Robbe thinks at full speed and then gets up to go get his coat and put on his shoes.

"Between her therapist and here there is a park, she likes to go there. I'm going to see."

Sander shakes his head and holds him by the arm.

''You're not going anywhere alone. Wait, we'll leave her a note if she comes back and I'll come with you."

Robbe nods and less than five minutes later they're out. They go to the park, walk all the way to the therapist's office and then retrace their steps and go around the park again, but she is nowhere to be found.

''Ok, let's go home'' says Sander.

Robbe reluctantly follows him, but he knows they can't look for her all over town. He has a tiny hope that she has come home in the meantime, but when they get back, the house is empty.

''Tell me what you want to do Robbe. Do we wait or do we call the hospitals to find out if she's there?"

Robbe wouldn't have even thought of that. To tell the truth, he's so upset that he can't think of anything.

''Do you think they'll give us any information? What about medical confidentiality? How do you think about all this so quickly?"

Sander looks down, scratching his head.

''That's what my mother does when I disappear. Or at least what she used to do. She's found me like this at least twice."

Robbe puts his arms around Sander, holding him tight before nodding.

''Ok. Let's do that. Thanks, babe, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Robbe picks up his phone and looks up the emergency number.

''Yes, hello, I'd like to know if''

Sander grabs the phone and hangs up, taking Robbe completely by surprise.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

''You mustn't ask, Robbe. You have to impose."

Sander presses the phone to call the hospital again and puts the phone to his ear.

''Hi, I've been informed that Mrs Nathalie Ijzermans has arrived at the emergency room, I'd like to hear from her.''

Robbe looks at Sander, almost ready to laugh, it's so stupid. Something like that will never work.

''Fuck, OK. Can I come and see her?"

Robbe's blood immediately freezes and Sander puts his hand on his arm, stroking it lightly to soothe him.

''Okay. Yes. Robbe, her son. No, it's just the two of us."

Robbe listens to Sander dictate his phone number and feels his heart racing, trying to think of all the reasons why his mother might be in the hospital.

''Okay. At any time, please. Thank you very much."

Sander puts the phone on the table next to them and takes Robbe's hands in his.

''Ok, she had a stupid accident. Apparently, she was hit by a cyclist. They're operating on her because she broke her collarbone."

Robbe suddenly gets up, leaving Sander's hands.

''I have to go to the hospital.''

Sander catches him by the arm and pulls him up in his arm, shaking his head gently.

"You're not allowed because of the Covid. But the medical team has to call us after the operation and give us the news. It's just an accident, baby, it could have happened to anyone."

Robbe huddles up to Sander and they stay there for a few minutes, just holding each other. Until Sander slightly recedes.

''Ok. I'm going to make dinner. Do you want to take a shower?"

Robbe shakes his head. He doesn't feel like eating and he doesn't feel like taking a shower. He doesn't feel like anything. Except stay in Sander's arms.

"I'm not very hungry."

Sander gently pinches his waist with a big smile.

''Do you think I'm going to let you starve to death? What will your mother say when she comes home? She already thinks you're too skinny."

Robbe rolls his eyes and sighs.

''I'm not skinny. And I eat. And you know it very well."

Sander nods, pushing Robbe towards the corridor.

''Good. So go take a shower and come eat. I'll come get you if the hospital calls."

Robbe takes two steps towards the bathroom and then turns around and walks back towards Sander.

''Thanks.''

He kisses him gently and Sander smiles, rubbing their noses together.

''It's going to be okay, baby. In a few days she'll be back. Everything will be fine."

Robbe nods his head, wondering how Sander is able to be so positive. He walks out into the hallway to take a shower that will actually do him good but turns around to look at Sander out of the corner of his eye. Sander smiles and winks at him and Robbe can't help but sigh back, wondering how Sander is able to take it all so easily.

He undresses and when he gets under the hot water jet, he thinks it was a really good idea, because it really makes him feel good after that rotten day. Since he woke up this morning, everything has gone wrong. And then as he puts his head underwater to get his hair wet, he thinks about Sander. Sander who smiled at him all day despite his bad mood, who did everything to make Robbe not feel embarrassed about interrupting his class half-naked, who worried that Robbe's mother wouldn't come home, who does everything he can to help him and he feels both bad and extremely lucky.

"Sander?"

Robbe waits a few seconds but there is no noise. Sander probably didn't hear him. And Robbe even feels like an idiot for shouting that way to call him. 

"Yes, baby?"

Robbe smiles, opening the shower door slightly.

"Can you come, please?

Sander walks into the bathroom and stands right in front of the shower.

"What do you need?"

Robbe makes a slight head movement to show the inside of the shower.

''No...can you come in, please?''

Sander takes a huge smile but comes out of the bathroom. He comes back less than a minute later and puts Robbe's phone on the edge of the sink and then undresses and gently pushes Robbe to make room for him in the shower.

Robbe lets his fingers slide through Sander's hair to get it wet and then puts his forehead against his own, a sorry smile on his lips.

''I'm sorry I'm so grumpy.''

Sander laughs, gently caressing his waist.

''I love you even when you are grumpy, Robin. Especially when you're grumpy and naked in the shower."

Robbe sighs, letting his head go down into Sander's neck.

"I love you too."

Sander kisses him gently, pulling him closer so they are both under the shower. Sander grabs the shampoo and lathers it up as much as possible and then starts laughing and Robbe laughs with him because he's sure that he has just given him an unlikely haircut.

Robbe bends over just enough to catch his reflection in the mirror and indeed he has his hair totally spiky on his head.

''Wait, I've got something better.''

Sander puts his hands back in his hair and then steps back to look at his work and bursts out laughing.

''Oh my God, you are so cute.''

Robbe looks in the mirror and bursts out laughing. He has a fucking parting on the side, making him look like a horrible wise child. He laughs and puts his head back underwater while holding Sander close to him.

''Never become a hairdresser, it's really not your thing.''

Sander laughs and hugs him. And in moments like that, he makes Robbe feel like they are best friends in the world. Not best friends like he's with Jens of course, but rather that they are so good together that they can be naked against each other without it becoming sexual.

They get out of the shower when the water starts to get cold and put on jogging pants and a hoodie before going into the kitchen. Robbe looks at Sander as he takes the leftover lasagna out of the oven and Robbe can just think about how cute he looks in his hoodie.

His phone starts ringing when they have just finished eating and Robbe jumps up.

"Hi?"

_''Oh Robbe. It's me, honey. Are you okay?"_

Robbe stops walking, bringing the phone as close to his ear as he can.

''Yes, mom. But what about you? What happened?"

_''I don't know. A girl on a bike hit me and I couldn't move. A man was walking around and called for help. My phone broke so I had an emergency room nurse call you but the nurse on the ward said you called to hear from me. Did you get a nurse call? I didn't want you to worry"._

Robbe lets out a huge sigh and he feels Sander's arms slipping around his waist.

''Don't worry about me, mom, I'm fine. Do you know when you can come home?"

_''Probably very soon, it's crazy here. The nurses say I'll probably be out tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest. Are you two gonna be okay?"_

''Sure, Mom. Don't worry about us."

_"Ok. Thanks Robbe. I know Sander take care of you. Don't worry, Ok? Try to sleep well. I'm fine."_

Robbe gently caresses Sander's hand on his belly and Sander gently puts his chin on his shoulder.

"Can I bring you your treatment?"

_"No, honey, that's ok. Visitors are not allowed, so a nurse has gone to fetch me what I need from psychiatry. I swear to you, Robbe, I'm okay, it was just an accident. The poor girl just didn't see me. A nurse told me that she had sprained her wrist. Ah, the nurse brings me food, I'll leave you. I love you."_

''I love you too, mom. Call me tomorrow."

Robbe hangs up and hugs Sander a bit more.

''You were right, everything is fine. She'll be there tomorrow or Wednesday."

"Ok, fine."

Sander gently kisses his cheek before sliding his fingers along the elastic of his jogging suit.

''Looks like we have the house all to ourselves. We could enjoy it, if you want."

Robbe turns around to slip his hands under Sander's sweater, kissing him before taking him to his room. 

Sander is right, they might as well enjoy having the house for themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used this calling technique to look for my in-laws that nobody had heard from one day...after call 2 unsuccessful hospitals, a nurse told me "yes, she's here."...I swear my heart has stopped.
> 
> And my mother-in-law's, she couldn't believe that we found them. They had gone to the hospital in the middle of the night and didn't take their cell phones. 
> 
> In short, that was the anecdote of the day.


	22. Good morning, sleepyhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter today... but with several intrigues that I hope will make you want to read more...

_Tuesday 17 November, 6:40 am_

Robbe grunts slightly when waking up, try to move but a weight weighs on his legs. And that's when he notices that what wakes him up is the feeling of his cock hardening in his boyfriend's mouth. He opens his eyes suddenly and indeed, Sander sucks it gently before licking it and he smiles when he sees that Robbe is awake.

''Good morning, sleepyhead.''

Sander peppers his belly with kisses before going back on his dick. Sander's hair is soaked and he only has his towel around his waist, showing that he probably just got out of his shower.

''Woh. Are you okay, babe?"

Sander frowns frowning and lies down next to him.

''Of course I'm okay. I just woke up in an empty house next to my incredibly sexy naked boyfriend and I wanted to wake you up in the best way possible. Don't you like it?"

Robbe pulls Sander against him to kiss him while caressing his back.

''Yes. It just surprised me. But I like it. I'm going to like living with you."

Sander raises his eyebrows then goes back to sucking Robbe and even if Robbe tells him he wants him, he doesn't stop until Robbe comes in his mouth.

Robbe stays for a few seconds with his arms open in a cross in the middle of the bed, waiting for his heart to calm down and for his body to respond to him again. Sander takes the opportunity to come and lie down beside him, resting his head on his arm.

"I wanted to make love with you," Robbe moans before kissing him.

Sander smiles, kissing the tip of his nose.

''I just wanted to please you this morning.''

Robbe smiles, turning slightly to face Sander, letting his hand go down along his chest.

''Let me to please you, too.''

Sander gently withdraws his hand, shaking his head and then kisses him.

''I took care of it during my shower. I couldn't stop thinking about what we did last night and I didn't want to wake you up too excited. But we'll have plenty of time when you get home from high school."

Robbe tries not to show that he thinks it's weird that Sander jerked off in the shower so he kisses Sander trying not to think about it. They already did it at first, by the way, and it didn't seem weird to him. But the main difference is that two weeks ago they didn't want to be noticed by his mother, and that today it's just the two of them. But after all, Sander is free to do what he wants with his body.

"What's wrong, Robin?"

Robbe looks at Sander who seems worried and he looks down, almost ashamed, as if he understands what Robbe is thinking. Then Robbe puts his hand on his cheek just so that he looks at him again.

"Nothing. I just don't want to go there. We have the house just for us for one day and I have to go back to school. I just don't want to leave you alone."

Sander sighs, putting his hand on Robbe's hand on his cheek, frowning slightly.

''I can be alone, Robbe.''

Robbe smiles at him, comes closer to take him in his arms.

''I didn't say you couldn't, I said I didn't want to. What if I stay here?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders and Robbe sits down in the bed and sighs.

"What? That's it? So if we live together, you won't motivate me to go to class?''

Sander laughs, rolling his eyes.

''I'm not your father, Robbe. If you don't want to go to school, stay here. You are old enough to decide. And then if you miss your year, I could still pick you up after school, my big baby. I'm not ready to see you at the university. Yeah, we're going to do this, you're going to stay in high school for the rest of your life and I'll be your sugar daddy who will pick you up at the end of class."

Robbe shows him his middle finger and gets out of bed with a sigh to get his things ready.

''Okay, I'm going. But I swear I'd rather stay here with you."

Sander gets up and pulls him into his arms to hold him.

''I know. Go, go take your shower and I'll make a great breakfast.''

Robbe takes a quick shower before getting dressed, paying attention to the time that goes by faster than he would like. He knows that he has to go to class so that his parents don't change their mind about him moving in with Sander. And then anyway Sander goes to his video lessons. Robbe would just have liked his high school to act like Sander's school and do all the classes in visio during the whole month of November.

When Robbe arrives in the kitchen after preparing his course bag, the coffee is already ready and the Croque 2000 flashes green.

''It's ready! Croque special for you."

Robbe opens the machine and it's a nameless mess inside.

"Did you want to put nutella?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders and smiles, taking his bite that overflows with nutella.

''Yeah, okay, I put too much. I'll get better, but taste it, it's delicious!"

Robbe is forced to admit that the nutella/banana croques (because yes, there are bananas in it) is really delicious.

And here, he can totally imagine himself living it every morning. Maybe sometimes Robbe will make breakfast, but he can totally imagine how wonderful it will be to share it every morning. Waking up every day next to Sander and knowing that they will go to bed next to each other every night.

''Robbe, you're going to be late.''

Robbe looks at the clock and shit, he must have slipped into a spatio-temporal rift because it's already past 8 o'clock. He drinks the last sips of his coffee and finishes his croques by putting on his shoes before he comes to kiss Sander.

''Thank you my love. Have a nice day. I can't wait to come back.''

Sander kisses him, leaving his hair tousled and panting.

"I can't wait to. Ok, you're going to be late."

Robbe grabs this fucking mask that he's going to have to keep on his face all day long and goes out to get his bike back. 

And it's when he hangs his bike in front of the school that he notices three calls in his father's absence. He's about to listen to the message that left him, but that's when he sees her. His heart misses a beat and he tries to come to his senses and not let the anger get to him. It just can't be possible. 

He moves slowly towards her, trying not to jump to conclusions, but even before he asks the question, he knows the answer.

And the anger immediately overwhelms him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to tell me what you think is going to happen, I love to hear your theories 💋💋


	23. I'm not fucking well!

_Tuesday 17 November, 8:48 am_

Robbe slams the door of his house before throwing his bag on the floor and taking off his shoes which scatter in the entrance. And strangely enough Sander doesn't appear in the hallway to see what's happening.

What's happening is that Robbe really didn't know how to handle the situation, especially his anger, so he did the only thing he thought was right to do: come and find the comfort he needed in Sander's arms.

He walks up the corridor and stops when he hears a moan. It's a moan that he knows well, because it's Sander's moan. And just afterwards, another man moans and Robbe decomposes completely, still standing only because his back is pressed against the wall of the corridor. Sander moans a little louder and it's just unbearable to hear. And then the man speaks in an unknown language and only now does Robbe realize that his voice seems to come from further away than Sander's voice. So instead of running away as he feels like, he wipes away his tears and goes to the guest room. And when he finally sees Sander, he doesn't know whether he should rejoice or worry.

Sander is on the bed, obviously watching a porn movie, when he's the first to say he doesn't like it, and he jerks off while moaning and Robbe can easily think that if he moans so much it's because he has the plug vibrating inside him. And even though it's really hot to see it undone like that, Robbe knows what it means.

And it's confirmed when Sander's eyes meet his own. Instead of being surprised, he takes a huge smile, almost looks relieved even.

''Robbe? Fuck yes, I so fucking much hoped you'd come back. I want you to fuck me so badly."

Sander sits on the bed almost shaking, closing the computer, thus pausing the film and the moaning. Robbe grabs Sander's phone from the bed and reduces the vibrations.

''Eh. That was''

''It was too much Sander. Take it easy.''

Sander shakes his head and pulls Robbe towards him, already biting his neck.

''I want you to fuck me hard. I want. No, I need it to hurt.''

Words are worse than daggers in Robbe's heart. All the anger he contained a few minutes ago is gone, immediately replaced by worry. Robbe shakes his head, gently rubbing his cheek against Sander's cheek and lets his hand come down on Sander's hard, red cock.

''Just let me take care of you. I'm here my love. I love you."

Sander picks up his phone and increases the vibration again while moving his hips to get into Robbe's fist.

''Fucking yes. You are so much better than all the others. Only you make me feel that way, Robbe.''

Robbe tenderly kisses his shoulder which is within reach of his lips while Sander seems completely high. If he didn't know him so well, Robbe would even think that he has smoked weed.

''Fuck, it's been so long, I want to come so badly.''

Robbe swallows, trying not to cry in front of the gravity of the situation. He's forced to mentally remember that he's not doing anything wrong and that even though he knows that Sander is in the middle of an episode, he's not taking advantage of the situation and he just wants to help him feel better.

''I want to fuck you, Robbe. Let me come inside you.''

Sander turns around and slides his hands down the back of Robbe's pants, under his boxers to touch his ass but Robbe moves, moves slightly away from that contact.

''No, Sander. Let me take care of you.''

Sander shakes his head, trying to unbutton Robbe's jeans.

''Please, I want to come inside you. Let me come inside you.''

Robbe takes his hands away, trying to be firm but not aggressive.

''I said no.'' 

Sander freezes and Robbe realizes that his tone was too dry. Sander looks at him as if he's looking for what he did wrong and that breaks Robbe's heart. He knows that Sander is not able to think properly at the moment and that he already has to help him to calm down. He kisses him gently and continues to caress him.

''Please Sander, come for me. I want to see you. I like to see you coming. I love you."

Sander rests his back against Robbe's chest, puts his head against Robbe's shoulder, which caresses him faster and faster and comes into his hand, moaning as if he hasn't come for weeks. And when Robbe gently lets go of his dick, Sander takes his hand back and guides it with his own so that he continues to caress him.

''I can still do it. Make me come again."

Robbe takes his hand away and doesn't miss Sander's disappointed then worried face.

''You don't love me anymore, then? Is that it? You've finally got tired of me?"

Robbe makes him turn around to be able to take him in his arms properly. And that's when he feels the vibrations so he grabs Sander's phone and turns off the app.

''Hey. If you don't want to have fun, I do. I need it."

Robbe stands up slowly and pulls Sander out so he can come with him.

''Come take a shower please.''

Sander looks at his sperm-stained belly and nods with a naughty smile.

''Will you come with me? I'd really like to try to fuck you again by lifting you up."

Robbe pulls him by the hand, gently stroking his thumb and looks at him gently while caressing his cheek with the other hand. 

''I love you and I still want you, but I wouldn't have sex with you right now. I think you're having an episode, babe. Don't you think so?''

Sander shakes his head, almost laughing, and then his face breaks up in one go, as if he realizes. His eyes become misty with tears and Robbe pulls him into his arms.

''It's okay, we're''

Sander pushes it back and goes out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom. And of course, Robbe is not fast enough, and when he tries to open the door, it is locked.

''I'm sorry. Leave me alone, Robbe."

''Sander, please. You know that the lock can be opened from the outside too. But I'd like you to open it for me. I just want to make sure you're OK."

''No, I'm not fucking well! I wanted to"

A sob sounds and Robbe tries one last time before fetching the key to open the door from the outside, congratulating himself for having this kind of lock installed because of his mother.

''Open the door, Sander, please.''

And to Robbe's astonishment, the lock jumps and the door opens. He immediately rushes to take Sander, who is crying, in his arms.

"It's nothing, I'm here."

Sander starts crying a little more.

'It's not fucking nothing. I wanted to force you. I wanted it so much."

Robbe gently caresses Sander's hair, holding him tight.

''It's alright, Sander. I'm fine.''

Sander pushes it back so hard that Robbe hits himself in the sink and drops the plug that was on the rim.

''No! Do you realize what I've been trying to do? It's burning me on the inside, Robbe.

Sander opens the shower door and turns on the cold water, making a noise between screaming and moaning when the frozen water reaches him.

''Damn, you're going to be sick, Sander.''

The water is totally frozen, but Sander repels Robbe who tries to turn off the water.

''I have to put out the fire inside me, Robbe.''

Sander starts crying, putting his head against the shower tile and Robbe turns off the water, wrapping his boyfriend in a dry towel.

''Come here, my love. I'm here. Let me take care of you.''

Sander doesn't look Robbe in the eye once. Neither when he helps him out of the shower, shaking from the cold, nor when he helps him get dressed, nor when he helps him get under the covers.

But it doesn't matter. Robbe knows they will be fine. He comes out of the room just to get their phones and receives his _"I love you"_ playlist. _Heroes_ resonates in the room as Robbe sits under the covers, holding Sander against him.

''I'm here, you can sleep. We'll take it just minute by minute.''

Sander closes his eyes and tears fall from his eyes.

''I didn't want to, I don't know what''

Robbe gently rubs their noses together.

''Hey, we don't talk during our game, okay? This minute you close your eyes and listen to the voice of the man you love more than anything else in the universes.''

Sander sketches out a smile and opens his mouth, probably to tell Robbe that he loves him more than Bowie, but Robbe starts to sing softly as he caresses his cheek.

"You can be mean. And I, I'll drink all the time. Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact. Yes we're lovers, and that is that. Though nothing will keep us together. We could steal time just for one day. We can be heroes for ever and ever. What d'you say?''

Robbe steps back slightly to look at Sander. He has fallen asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everybody was waiting for the Sander episode...well here it is in full power....
> 
> Now we have to find out what made Robbe angry and why his father wants to call him...


	24. It's a little rough today.

_Tuesday 17 November, 9:28 a.m_.

Robbe's phone rings, as he expected, and he slowly leaves the room so as not to wake Sander who is sleeping. He knows that if he's in the middle of a manic episode, he won't sleep for long, so he doesn't want to wake him up. 

_"Robbe, why did the principal just call me and tell me you weren't in class? I tried to call you this morning, are you okay?"_

''It's okay, dad. I'm sorry, I didn't get your message. I was ready to go to class, but something came up.''

There's a sigh in the phone and Robbe sits on the couch. 

_''Okay, let's start from the beginning. How are you doing? I got a call from the hospital this morning because apparently I'm still the emergency contact on your mother's file. Why didn't you call me yesterday? I didn't even know you were alone."_

''I'm not alone, Sander's here.''

Another sigh and Robbe hesitates to cut the conversation short, but it's clear that it wouldn't help.

_''I know, that's not what I meant, but you could have told me you two were alone, Robbe. You're not an adult yet, I need to know what's going on in your life. Your mom's going to be in the hospital for a couple of days, so"_

''What? Wait, no. Mom was supposed to go out today or tomorrow."

_''She won't come out right away, Robbe. She's allergic to the screws they put in her collarbone. They had to re-operate, but it made her very tired. I'm sorry, Robbe. I know how worried you are about your mom. She should go out this weekend if all goes well."_

Robbe runs his hand through his hair, not believing that his father had been told before him.

_''Do you need my help, Robbe?''_

''No, I'm all right. We can both manage, Sander and I, you know."

_"I know, Robbe, but I'm here if you need me, okay?"_

''Okay. Thank you, Dad. Call me if the hospital gives you any more new"

_''Hey! We haven't finished Robbe. Why aren't you in class? It's the first time you're both with Sander and I understand that you want to enjoy being together, but it's not serious to miss classes, and ''_

"That's not the point." Robbe shouts, feeling all the anger coming back into him, "I was gone. I went to high school, Dad. But I saw her. I couldn't so I came home."

His father coughed.

_''Who did you see Robbe? What are you talking about?"_

''The girl who hurt mom. She's a girl from my high school. Mom told me that the girl who hit her sprained her wrist and when I saw her with her arm in a sling I thought it was impossible. And then I heard her say that she had been in a bicycle accident. It was her. She sent my mom to the hospital, damn it."

Robbe starts crying, totally fucking overwhelmed again. He won't tell his father that he's afraid the operations and the hospitalization will affect his mother's mental health, but he thinks about it a lot. She needs calmness and direction to get well, and since she wasn't well last week, Robbe is really scared that she won't get well. Not well at all.

_''Robbe...''_

''I've never been so angry at anyone and I just didn't know what to do, okay?''

_''Hey, Robbe, it was an accident. She just had bad luck. I know how much you love your mom and I know you're worried about her, but she's gonna be okay, all right? It was just an accident, Robbe. Okay, I'm gonna tell your teachers that you weren't feeling well and today you take the opportunity to rest. Are you sure you're gonna be okay?''_

''Yes, Dad. I'm sorry about that. Thanks.''

His phone beeps and Robbe turns it around to see that Sander's mother is calling him.

''Dad, I've got another call, I'll call you later, OK?''

_''Ok, I'll let you know as soon if I have any news about your mother.''_

Robbe ends the call and takes the call with Sander's mother with a frown.

''Anne? Is everything okay?"

_"Robbe? It's more my turn to ask you that question. Are you okay?"_

Robbe swallows, letting his back fall to the bottom of the couch.

"It's a little rough today, but I'll be okay."

_''I'll be there in ten minutes, Robbe, I tried to call Sander but he doesn't answer. I just want you to be aware that your decision is final for the rest of the lockdown.''_

Robbe sits down, passing a nervous hand through his hair.

''Wait? What? What decision? Why are you coming?"

_''Sander asked me to come and fetch him. I'm really sorry, Robbe, I know you wanted this to work out."_

"No!" Robbe jumps up to go to his room. ''He's not well, but I don't want him to leave. Can we call you back? Leave us five minutes. I wouldn't force him to stay, but"

_''I know you won't force it, Robbe. I'm waiting for you to call me back."_

Robbe hangs up and pushes the door of his room. Sander is emptying all his stuff out of the closet and filling his bag any way he can.

''Sander, stop, please.''

Sander shakes his head without looking at him, trying to close the bag.

''I asked my mother to come and get me, Robbe.''

''No. No, fuck. I don't want you to leave, Sander. I know I don't have the right to force you to stay here, but no. Please don't go."

Sander closes his eyes, letting a few tears fall.

''I don't want to hurt you.''

"Then don't go!" Robbe moans. "Please, Sander. Don't leave me."

Sander sighs and turns around to look at Robbe with a sorry face.

"I heard you, Robbe. You said you've never been as angry as someone else and I understand that."

"I wasn't talking about you," Robbe shouts louder than he wanted. He takes a breath to calm himself and strokes Sander's cheek ''I wasn't talking about you, damn it, I was talking about Kato.''

Sander frowns, sitting on the bed.

''What? Why?''

''She's the one who sent my mother to the hospital. When I got to the school I saw her arm in a sling and splinting her wrist, I thought it was a coincidence, it was impossible, and then she told Amber that she was in a bike accident and... you know me. Chernobyl in my head. I was so angry with her. I didn't know what to do so I came back here."

''And you almost got raped by your boyfriend.''

Robbe sits next to him, taking his hands in his hands.

''Don't say that. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I wouldn't have let you do it, I know you didn't mean it."

Sander looks down, tears in his eyes again.

''Please Sander, stay with me. I need you."

Sander shakes his head and Robbe squeezes his hands a little tighter because he doesn't want to let go. He doesn't want to force him to stay, but he doesn't want him to leave.

"I've never been like that, Robbe. I can't stop thinking about sex and I don't know how to stop. I feel like I'm going crazy. Now I have to make an incredible effort not to jump on you, Robbe, and that really scares me. I don't want to hurt you."

Robbe puts his hands on Sander's cheeks to force him to look at him and then puts his forehead against his and Sander closes his eyes.

''I swear it won't happen. I need you, Sander. We can call your therapist and see what we have to do. Please let me help you. You don't have to deal with this alone. You want to leave because you're ashamed and you shouldn't. If your episode was about your drawings, you'd stay here. Please stay. I'm here."

Sander nods gently with tears in Robbe's arms.

''I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on inside me. I just want to protect you."

''I know my love, I know.''

Robbe gently kisses his hair, hugging him tightly until Sander calms down. They call Sander's mother to warn her and then his therapist who fortunately gives them an emergency appointment at 11 o'clock and tells Sander to keep his mind busy in the meantime.

Robbe thinks about how to keep himself busy in the meantime and then he grabs his computer.

"Ok, we're already out of the room. Come on, let's go to the living room."

Robbe pulls Sander into the living room and sits down on the sofa.

''I have to do the assembly of the vlog. Will you help me?''

Sander sighs but nods with a smile.

"Yeah, there's nothing better to keep you from getting an hard-on than watching your friends play dumb. They will be happy to learn how you use them."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders with a smile and puts his computer on Sander's lap.

"The guys keep asking me when I'm done editing and putting it on youtube. I can't believe we shot this three weeks ago. Come on, you're the one doing the editing. Click here to import the videos."

Sander gets a little lost in the editing tracks and the sound, but in the end it gives a good result, and he seems to be relaxing. His leg doesn't beat time anymore and he has stopped grinding his teeth. And Robbe thinks it was a really good idea, until he adds his retouched photo with devil antennas and then Sander almost throws the computer from his knees to the living room table, his breath going wild.

''I'm sorry, Robbe. Can we just go for a walk, please, just get out of here? I have to get out."

If the situation is not so difficult for Sander, it would even make Robbe laugh. But Sander is really restless and gives the impression that something is eating from the inside. Robbe doesn't have time to answer that Sander is already going to the entrance to put his shoes on. Robbe joins him immediately and has to hurry because Sander is already outside. He grabs Sander's jacket and joins him, happy to see that he is waiting for him. Sander looks agitated and nervous, and Robbe is really looking forward to 11 o'clock to ask the therapist how he can help him.

"Can I hold your hand?"

Sander nods gently and intertwines their fingers before he starts walking but Robbe can see that he is not looking at him. He avoids his gaze altogether, seeming totally embarrassed. And it's really hard for Robbe to help him more than that. Sometimes he would really like to know what's going on in Sander's head, just to be able to help him properly. So that he can do what he needs to do to be the best he can be. 

Sander sighs and then shakes Robbe's hand a little more in his.

''Thanks, Robbe.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You think I don't like Kato? Yeah, I don't like her...but we'll hear more about that in the next chapter, and I might surprise you...
> 
> Ready to take Sander to his appointment?


	25. I'll take care of him.

_Tuesday 17 November, 11:42 a.m._

Robbe puts his phone back in his pocket after answering his friends who were worried about not seeing him in class, especially since they knew that Amber had seen him come and go. Then he looks at the empty waiting room around him and picks up his vibrating phone and reads Jens' message telling him that he will call her tonight.

''Robbe? We'd like you to come, please."

Robbe is startled, surprised to see the therapist in front of him when he didn't see the door open and gets up nodding.

''Yes, of course.''

This's the first time Robbe really enters Sander's therapist's office. He has accompanied him several times before, but he has always stayed in the waiting room, so it feels a bit strange, but Robbe is really happy to be able to talk directly to the doctor in order to help Sander as much as possible.

Robbe sits in the free armchair next to Sander, refraining from stroking the tears marks on his cheek and the doctor sits in the armchair right in front of them. 

''We talked a lot with Sander. He's going through a manic episode based mainly on hypersexualization, but I'm not teaching you anything. There's nothing surprising about that. 80% of bipolar people experience these kinds of episodes, more or less intensely. There is often a trigger and I think that the fact that you live together and therefore have more sex than before, as well as knowing that you have the house just for the two of you, acts as a trigger.''

Robbe nods, trying to understand.

''So when we're living together, all of his episodes are going to be like this?''

The therapist smiles and shakes his head.

''Not necessarily. The novelty often acts as a big trigger. You may just have to make sure that all your days aren't about sex. I know it's hard for a young couple in love, but you have to keep in mind that too much sex can trigger these kinds of episodes.''

Robbe's cheeks turn red and he lowers his head, suddenly feeling hyper embarrassed and hyper guilty. 

"It's not your fault, Robbe."

Robbe turns to look at Sander and shrugs his shoulders before looking at the therapist with his scarlet cheeks.

''Can new games be the cause? I...'' Oh, shit, Robbe can't believe he's saying that to an adult ''I ordered things for fun, and''

''Robbe!'' Sander cut him off ''Already it's me who ordered, and a dildo does not give me an episode. I'm just screwed."

Robbe grabs his hand with a sigh, trying to control the color of his cheeks, wondering how often the therapist hears about the sexuality of his patients. But since he doesn't seem to be embarrassed, Robbe assumes that he does, indeed, often hear about it.

''You're not screwed up, Sander. You have an illness and you're doing a really good job of managing it. Other patients often cheat on their spouses and put themselves in risky situations, with multiple partners and no protection, so I think it's fair to say that your episode is pretty minor and that you've managed it well so far."

Sander chuckles and Robbe sees him rolling his eyes. Robbe smiles, certain that he is thinking it's nonsense.

''The fact that you came here on your own shows that you're really good at it, Sander. So, I prescribed a second lithium-based medication in addition to the background treatment, which should quickly help to better control the sexual impulses."

Robbe looks at Sander who doesn't seem convinced, and Robbe knows that he doesn't like to take more medication than his usual treatment. He gently caresses the top of his hand and looks at the doctor again.

''In concrete terms, what do we have to do? Should I help him with his impulses or''

''Don't say it like that.'' moans Sander ''It sounds like you want to be my personal whore.''

The therapist takes a sorry smile when looking at Robbe, but Robbe just shakes Sander's hand.

''I just want to know if it helps you to respond to your impulses or if it's going to make things worse.''

''When the impulse is too advanced, trying to control it is too annoying and it actually makes the episode worse, so''

''You're not going to tell him to prostitute himself for me!" shouts Sander as he lets go of Robbe's hand.

''I'm not a prostitute. I love you. I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about helping you.''

Sander shakes his head, pulling his hair slightly before looking at Robbe, visibly angry.

''I don't want you to having sex with me when I'm not enjoying it. Because that's how I feel. I need sex, I want sex, but I feel nothing. And there's no way that you're going to do what I want you to do, just because I'm ill."

Robbe looks at the therapist, waiting for a clear answer as to what to do.

''How can I help him?''

''Keep him busy. Hands, mind. Many patients cook, sew or paint. Sander can draw if it helps him to relax. You have to find something that makes him feel good and useful, apart from sex. But don't break the intimacy. He needs hugs, kisses and comfort. He needs to feel loved but not wanted."

Robbe nods, trying to integrate everything the therapist says as quickly as possible. He takes Sander's hand in his own, happy that he lets him.

"Robbe, I think this may become too much for you and"

''No. I'll take care of him.''

Sander looks down and Robbe gently caresses the top of his hand.

''I'm taking care of you, babe. We're gonna handle this together."

''If this ever gets too much, Robbe, get out. Call his mother and let her take over. Don't hit him, violence is''

''I'm not going to hit him!'' shouts Robbe more than he would like. ''Sorry, it's just totally unthinkable.''

The therapist gives him that sorry smile again, but this time Robbe doesn't like it.

"Sometimes fear makes us do things we never thought we would do."

Robbe shakes his head and shakes Sander's hand in his.

''I'm not afraid of him. I'm afraid for him."

They leave the doctor's office hand in hand and go to the pharmacy before going home. Sander immediately goes into the kitchen to take his new medicine and Robbe comes out to make some food.

''Come on, this time you take care of the butter.''

Robbe takes out the croque 2000 with a smile and sits down next to Sander so that they can prepare the croques. Sander's hands shake slightly and Robbe can see that he is not really concentrated.

''Talk to me, Sander. What do you want to talk about?''

Sander jumps out of his head, interrupts his thoughts and then thinks.

''Yeah, good idea. So, are you sure it was Kato who hit your mother? How is that possible? She doesn't even live around here."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders.

''I don't know. But my mom told me that the girl who hit him had a sprained wrist, and Kato came in this morning with his arm in a sling and said she'd been in a bike accident.''

Sander looks at him and then smiles.

''What if it was another bike accident? Did you ask her if she hit someone?"

Robbe rolls his eyes while shaking his head.

''Yeah, that's it...no...Wait, you don't think it's her? Do you really think it could just be a coincidence?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''I don't know, I just think maybe you jumped to conclusions, especially since you're not Kato's number one fan. But maybe you're right, and this girl is just worse than Chenrnobyl."

They both start laughing and Robbe puts two croques in the machine.

''Promise me you'll tell me if it gets too much for you and you want me to leave, Robbe.''

Robbe nods and hugs Sander.

''I promise you.''

Sander nods, hugging Robbe back.

"Do we have to tell your mother? Is she coming home tonight?"

Robbe steps back and realizes that he didn't have time to tell Sander.

''No, she had an allergy, they had to operate again. She won't be back until this weekend at the earliest."

Sander sighs, letting go of Robbe.

''Shit. We have the house to ourselves for a week and I'm fucking it up."

Robbe picks him up and gently squeezes him.

''You don't screw up anything, Sander. It's just a bit difficult today, but it'll get better. We'll get through it together, Ok?"

Sander nods but gently pushes Robbe away by lowering his head.

''I know you want to comfort me, but you smell so good, Robbe. It's a real torture. I'm sorry. I just have to control myself."

Robbe smiles as he opens the croques machine.

"Okay, Edward Cullen, I'll figure out how to be less attractive."

"Fuck, Robbe, it's just impossible.''

Sander jumps on Robbe's mouth so quickly that he pushes him against the Croque 2000 and Robbe starts screaming when his hand touches the hot plate.


	26. You're fucking evil.

_Tuesday 17 November, 3:26 pm_

Robbe looks at Sander who has been sitting at his desk for almost 3 hours now and is drawing while crying silently.

''Robbe, go away, please.''

Robbe sighs but stays in the doorway.

''Sander, I told you I'm fine. Please talk to me.''

Sander shakes his head, swinging back and forth trying to calm down.

''Do you want to go for a run? Or go for a walk? Maybe spending yourself doing something good?''

Sander shakes his head and keeps drawing and even if he can't see what he is doing, Robbe is sure he is just filling in a sheet of black because the pencil strokes he gives are too fast to really draw something.

And suddenly it's too hard to see Sander hurting himself like that, so Robbe moves slowly.

"Sander, I"

"Don't go in'' Sander yells ''Don't come any closer. I don't want to hurt you, again, Robbe.''

Robbe looks at the brown line on the top of his hand and then looks at Sander again.

''It's okay, I'm fine. It doesn't even hurt anymore. I swear, with the anti-burn cream I put on it, it will disappear. It surprised me more than it hurt. Please let me help you, Sander."

''I'm going crazy and fucking dangerous.''

Sander sends the drawings from his desk to the floor and Robbe steps forward to look at them. All the sheets are filled with black but underneath it's as if there is a drawing. And there Robbe understands: Sander draws and then covers his drawing with black because he can't stand what he draws. He bends his eyes to look at the sheet closest to him and he is now certain that underneath the big black lines there is a drawing of himself sucking a cock.

''Okay, that doesn't help you at all. Come on Sander, get out of here."

Sander drops his pencil almost relieved and lets Robbe pull him into the living room. Robbe has finished setting up the vlog while Sander was drawing and now he almost blames himself for listening to him and leaving him alone when Sander asked. But at least Jens will be able to post the video on the vlog by the end of the week, and he will stop asking Robbe to do the editing.

Robbe sighs and then goes to his mother's room while Sander settles in, curled up on himself on the sofa.

''Okay, babe. If you make fun of me, I'll kill you. I want to remind you that I lived the first lockdown alone with my mother and that there were some difficult moments for her, so some days I just wanted to please her, okay?''

Sander raises his head from his knees, looking at Robbe, visibly wondering what he's talking about, and Robbe smiles, happy to have aroused his curiosity.

''I want to remind you that some cool guys do it too, like Ryan Gosling, Rayn Reynols or Russell Crow. It may sound silly, but it's actually pretty cool. But, I forbid you to talk about this to anyone, especially not the guys, okay?"

Sander nods slightly, putting his feet on the ground, obviously waiting for Robbe to tell him what he's talking about.

Robbe takes the basket that he has just put on his mother's bed and puts it on the coffee table in the living room and he doesn't miss the huge smile on Sander's face. And even though he knows that his boyfriend is laughing at him, Robbe's happy to see him finally smile.

''Are you knitting? Oh my God, Robbe, are you really knitting?"

''Hey! What did I just say? It's cool. All right? Stop thinking about old grandmas and think about Ryan Gosling."

Robbe almost chokes on his own saliva, calls himself an idiot and shakes his head.

''No, think about the grandmas, you're right. Okay. So, I had started a beanie for you, but I'm going to start something else from scratch, it'll be easier."

Sander raises a dubious eyebrow.

''Do you think watching you knit will stop me from thinking about you naked and everything I want to do to you?''

Robbe puts two needles in Sander's hands and laughs.

''No. I think learning to knit will definitely calm your nerves. You'll learn patience, meticulousness, and I swear you'll squint when you look at the stitches and you won't think about anything else."

Sander starts laughing and puts the needles next to him.

''I don't knit.''

Robbe takes two needles and a ball of black wool before sitting next to Sander, leaving just a little space between them.

"Oh no? You think you're too cool for that? Or are you just scared you're not good enough? I'm going to make you a scarf for this winter, and I hope you're going to make me one too. I'm sure you wouldn't want me to get sick."

Sander sighs and then picks up the needles and takes a big smile.

''Damn. You are really full of surprises, Ijzermans. Ok, but I choose the color."

Sander takes a fluorescent pink ball of wool and then looks at Robbe's impassive face. If it helps his boyfriend, Robbe'll wear a fucking pink scarf.No problem. But Sander puts the ball of wool down and chooses a blue one. Robbe smiles and goes up the first two stitches before showing Sander how to do it. Sander goes upside down so he has to do it again and then gets angry when he misses a stitch, but finally he learns quickly and settles down in the back of the couch, totally absorbed in his work. 

Robbe looks at him from the corner of his eye, smiling and then goes back to his work. If someone saw them like that, sitting on the sofa knitting together, he would probably laugh, but for now it seems to calm Sander down, so that's all that matters.

Sander advances almost as fast as he does and that makes Robbe smile.

''Are you sure you've never done this before? You seem to do it too easily for the first time."

Sander raises his eyebrows without looking at him and continues really too fast for someone who has never done this before.

"I'm just extremely good with my hands" Sander says without looking at him, "and you can be good the first time. Look at you."

Robbe rolls his eyes and looks at Sander smiling at him, his naughty little devil look on his face.

"Knit more and talk less!"

Sander sighs and looks at his needles, disappointed but Robbe knows he is doing this for his own good. And very quickly Sander knits without looking at what he is doing, a proud smile appearing on his face.

''So? You've done this before, right?"

Sander nods so quickly that Robbe almost misses him. But fortunately, he doesn't do it.

''What? Mister _I'm too cool for that?_ No kidding? Does Sander Driesen know how to knit? Shit, I'll never see you like before."

Sander starts laughing at the same time as Robbe and they look at each other for a few seconds, just smiling and happy, then Sander looks down again and continues knitting without a word.

''Do I really have to ask you?"

''Ask me what?" Sander asks, raising one eyebrow.

Robbe sighs as he rolls his eyes, looking at his boyfriend.

''Please, Sander, tell me where you learned to knit.''

Sander looks at him and shakes his head.

''No, thanks, then you'll think I'm too nice and cute. I would not want to tarnish my reputation.''

Robbe rolls his eyes.

''Nonsense, I already find you too nice and cute.''

Sander stops and looks at him.

"What? I'm a mysterious and cool guy."

''And nice and cute.'' Robbe adds ''The kind of guy who builds a hut in his boyfriend's room because he can't take him to a restaurant, who always asks about his family even if he says he doesn't seem to care, who always does everything possible to make his boyfriend happy... that kind of guy.''

Sander sighs but takes a huge smile.

''Okay. Good. When my mother was waiting for the twins, she was hospitalized for two months and it was my grandmother who came home to take care of us. I was 7, Tobias was 8, and Lara was 10, so you can imagine that when we came home from school it was pretty busy at home. So to calm us down, our grandmother taught us how to knit and embroider. We were only allowed to watch TV if we were 5 rows long. She was a real monster."

Sander laughs and Robbe knows he doesn't mean it at all.

''But in the end, I liked spending time with her. She used to tell me stories about her when she was young, about everything she had to endure. She was really tough. She used to tell me about the farm work, and then the scandal that it caused when she had a baby at 16 without saying who the father was, and how she came all alone, with no money in Antwerp, with her baby in her arms, and then how she met the man who became my grandfather. Everybody told him that he shouldn't waste his time with her because she was a whore, but he married her and adopted my father. He was a really good man, I would have liked to know him more but he died when I was 6 years old. So I liked my grandmother to tell me about him, how much they loved each other in spite of the difficulties and how much she would love him for the rest of his life. She said that he was her soul mate and that I would understand that I would find mine.''

Sander raises his head and starts giggling.

''If there really is a paradise up there, they must both laugh if they see my soul mate making me knit.''

Robbe puts down his needles and pulls Sander against him so he can hug him.

''I love you so much, Sander. Every time I think it's impossible, you make me love you even more.''

Sander moves, showing that he's not comfortable, but Robbe doesn't let go.

''Just stay there for two minutes, I swear it's going to be fine. I got you, babe."

Sander moves slightly and giggles.

''No, you're actually making me stick a needle in my stomach.''

Robbe lets go of Sander and steps back.

"Shit. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry."

He kisses gently the Sander's cheek before he puts his forehead against his.

''I'm totally in love with you, Mr. Driesen.''

''Even though it's complicated?''

Robbe nods with a smile, caressing Sander's cheek.

''Even if it is sometimes complicated. I'm also complicated sometimes. Everyone is complicated sometimes. But nothing is insurmountable, right?''

Sander looks down, suddenly very calm.

''What if I'm cheating on you? What if I can't stop myself?"

Robbe sighs and sits down a little further away so he can bend his legs under him and takes Sander's hands in his own, putting Sander's work next to his own on the coffee table.

''Do you feel like it? Here, now, or this morning? Have you thought about having sex with someone else?"

Sander shakes his head, his shoulders drop.

''No, but the therapist said''

"He said : You handled it very well, Sander.'' Robbe cut him off, before bringing their hands to his lips to kiss the top of Sander's hand ''You weren't well but you tried to fight him alone. You jerked off twice this morning, so what? I already did it 6 times in one night and I didn't have an episode to blame. He said I might want to hit you, but I know that's not going to happen. Those are generalities, it's not going to happen. So we just take it minute by minute and go hand in hand, okay?"

Sander nods and then looks at Robbe and smiles.

''6 times in one night? Did we already know each other?"

Robbe lets go of his hands and sighs.

''That's all you remember? Oh, you're so boring."

Sander laughs but looks at him, obviously waiting for the answer.

''We'll talk about it when you get better.''

Sander takes a huge smile, almost full of pride.

''That means we knew each other then. Did we? Oh my God, you're blushing. Is that true, then?''

Robbe makes a falsely annoyed moan and then nods.

''Yes, I couldn't sleep and I could only think of you. But it didn't even help me sleep. Now let's stop talking about it, and finish my scarf. Please."

Sander recovers his knitting with a sigh and settles back in the back of the couch, but he puts it back almost immediately.

''Oh fuck Robbe, how can I get that image out of my head now? But why do you have to be so hot?"

Sander's breathing is the only thing that can now be heard in the room and it is clear that he only thinks about how much he wants to put Robbe naked. Robbe takes a sorry smile and turns on the TV. He looks for a few seconds on youtube and sees Sander's smile fade when a report on Bowie's biopic film begins.

''You're fucking evil. Please Robbe, take that off."

Robbe puts the remote control down by shaking his head.

''Look, it looks so good. I really have to go to him. Look Sander!"

The voice-over praises the appeal of the film and as Robbe expected, Sander sighs before he starts shouting at the TV that it's nonsense.

Sander makes an annoying moan, grabs the remote control and puts songs in its place with a smile on his face before he kisses Robbe on the cheek.

''I love you, Robbe. I feel like you know me better than I know myself."

Robbe smiles, caressing his cheek.

''It's because I'm your soul mate. Oh babe, I didn't think you could be so marshmallowy.''

Sander throws a pillow in his face and Robbe grabs another pillow and hits him back. They laugh, hitting each other with the cushions while Bowie sings.

_Love cleans the mind. And makes it Free. Happiness is happening._


	27. Just sleep with you.

_Wednesday 18 November, 5:18 a.m._

  
Robbe turns around and immediately feels that he's alone in bed. He jumps up and heads out into the hallway, blaming himself for not hearing Sander leave the bed and the bedroom. He almost has to beg Sander to agree to sleep together, reminding him that Sander had said they would never sleep in separate beds. Sander was afraid not to sleep and that he would be too tempted by Robbe's body, but Robbe won his case by saying that this way he could look after him. 

In the end Robbe didn't even hear him get up. He quickly looks in the guest room but Sander is not there. There is no light under the bathroom door so Robbe rushes into the living room, almost trembling because there is no light there either. 

What if Sander had left? What if he had gone out? Before his thoughts go crazy, Robbe sighs with relief because Sander is there. Asleep on the couch. He has needles on his belly, as if he fell asleep while knitting, which is certainly the case, there are at least 4 scarves on the floor next to him.

Robbe can't help but make a sad pout. Sander was up all night knitting and Robbe didn't even hear him. He really hopes that Sander didn't feel lonely.

Robbe picks up the scarves and balls of wool, smiling when he picks up a scarf in the colors of the rainbow, puts it all on the living room table and gently caresses Sander's face. He looks at him, hesitates and then takes a quick look at his own arms and passes one arm under Sander's thighs and the other one on his back. He tries to lift it up and starts laughing because Sander doesn't move an inch and then he remembers the incredible number of times Sander has carried him. As a bride, on his back, on his belly like a koala, or even on his shoulders.

Then he comes closer and this time he lifts Sander up, pulling him up against him. Sander keeps his eyes closed but immediately wraps his arms around Robbe's neck, letting his head rest on his neck. Robbe stands lightly against the walls of the hallway but finally he manages to get his boyfriend back into bed. 

Sander immediately turns to the side, as soon as Robbe puts him on the mattress and Robbe slips behind him, wrapping his arm around his waist and putting a slight kiss on his shoulder before going back to sleep.

When the alarm on his phone rings at 7:45 am, Robbe immediately turns it off and stays a few minutes watching Sander sleeping peacefully on his back. He resists the urge to kiss him, just so as not to wake him up, and gets out of bed without a sound. He takes some clothes from the closet and goes into the shower. 

He's barely dressed when his phone is already vibrating in his pocket. He walks into the kitchen while taking it in his hands and pushes a disappointed sigh when he sees that it is Jens who is calling him. He hasn't heard from his mother since his father called and he wishes he had. He really thought his mother would call him yesterday, but she must be too tired for that, and that doesn't reassure Robbe at all.

But for now, he accepts Jens' call with a cup of coffee in his hand.

''Hi.''

_''Hi... Are you okay, Robbe? You look exhausted."_

Robbe looks at himself in the part of the screen where he sees his reflection, but he doesn't feel worse than usual.

''No, I'm fine."

_''Seriously? Are you really fine? Cause you doesn't look like it."_

''If you're calling to tell me I look like shit, stop it, Jens. It's too early for that."

Jens sighs so loudly that it hear it in the receiver. Robbe presses the coffee machine, hoping that the noise won't wake Sander up.

_''Ok, Ok, don't get angry. Seriously, what's wrong with you these days? Why didn't you answer or call me back yesterday? Amber said you came to the school and left right away. Problem with Sander?"_

Robbe quickly looks at the hallway that leads to both bedrooms. There is still no light under the threshold of his door so Sander must still be sleeping.

''No. Yes. But that's not the point."

Jens frowns.

_"Wait, yes or no?"_

Robbe rolls his eyes before looking at his best friend.

''Yes, Sander has an episode, but we're dealing with it and anyway that's not what made me leave yesterday morning, I didn't even know it.''

Jens nods, bringing the screen closer to his face.

_''Okay. We'll talk about you in two seconds, but how is Sander?"_

Robbe smiles as he sits down on the sofa.

''He'll be fine. It was a bit difficult at times yesterday, and I think he didn't sleep much all night, but now he's sleeping. He's going to be okay."

Jens nods with a smile.

_''Of course he's going to be okay, he has you by his side. So, speaking of which, how are you? Why didn't you come to class? We were really disappointed that we didn't finally get to see you. We're gonna have to wait until next Tuesday."_

Robbe sighs as he thinks back on all the anger he felt yesterday morning. 

''My mother was hit on a bike Monday afternoon, and yesterday I saw''

_''Oh fuck! Do you think it's Kato?''_

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and sighs.

''Yesterday I was sure it was Kato, and it made me so angry that I went home so I wouldn't take it out on her and say things I would have regretted. My mom had to have surgery twice, and now I'm afraid it's really affecting her. But Sander says that maybe I went too fast to draw conclusions and maybe she just had another accident that doesn't involve my mom, so I don't know, after all. Anymway, right now I want to take care of Sander.''

Jens nods his head with a friendly smile, the one that always takes when he wants to help Robbe.

_''Ok. You take care of Sander, I'll take care of Kato. I'm going to find out where and when she was hurt. Is that ok with you?"_

Robbe nods, with a smile on his face as he takes a sip of his coffee.

''It's perfect. Thanks, bro. Okay, I'll see you in five minutes. I have to go get my school stuff from the bedroom."

_''Okay, bye, Bro. Let me know if there's anything else I can help you with."_

Robbe greets him then turns off the call and takes time to finish his coffee before going to the bedroom. Sander sleeps completely wrapped up in the comforter and Robbe gets his computer, headset and textbooks before closing the door gently, looking at him one last time. 

He hesitates but finally settles into the living room. He pushes the basket to make sure it won't appear on the screen and settles into one of the armchairs.

The math teacher is already connected but even if it is already 8:30 am, Robbe is not the last to join the class. Aaron arrives at 8:35 and Robbe is sure he is wearing a pyjama top. At 9:20 am, the French teacher goes straight to the class and Robbe makes a frustrated groan because he would have liked to go and see if Sander is ok. But he already knows that if he is absent, she will reprimand him in front of the whole class and ask him to explain himself in French. Robbe hates talking in front of his class, especially since his friends always tell him that he has a shitty accent when he speaks French, so even if Robbe knows it's shit, he doesn't want to see them smiling like idiots when they listens to him.

_''Mr Ijzermans, expliquez moi pourquoi vous étiez absent à mon cours hier.'' (Mr. Ijzermans, explain to me why you were absent from my class yesterday.)_

Shit, he hadn't thought of that. Robbe sighs and activates his microphone.

''I was.''

_''En français !'' (In French!)_

Robbe tries not to look at Aaron and Moyo laughing, and nods.

''Ma mère à eu un accident, elle est opérée hier.'' (My mother had an accident, she's having surgery, yesterday.)

The teacher nods with a sorry smile.

_''On dit : elle à été opérée hier. J'éspère qu'elle ira vite mieux. D'accord, reprenons la grammaire.'' (They say : she was operated on yesterday. I hope she gets better soon. Okay, let's go over the grammar again.)_

Robbe turns off his microphone and retrieves his book, but he mostly looks at Aaron, who is rocking on his chair, wondering when he will fall backwards. In fact, he spends the whole class waiting for that. It's almost time for the break and Aaron is still swinging back and forth and Robbe, as the diabolical friend he's, is almost disappointed by that. And it's because he looks at Aaron so he doesn't miss the moment when he's going to fall that he doesn't see Sander coming into the living room before he's right in front of him.

Sander goes under the textbook so he can sit on Robbe's thighs, letting his knees sink into the armchair on either side of Robbe and resting his head against his shoulder with a sigh. Robbe immediately hugs him, caressing his back.

"How do you feel?"

''Awful. I'm falling."

Robbe gently kisses his hair and caresses his back.

''I'm here, baby. I catch you."

_''Robbe Izjermans, dois-je vous rappeler que vous êtes en cours ?'' (Robbe Izjermans, need I remind you you're in class?)_

Robbe looks up to look at his teacher and the students in his class, convinced that they are all looking at him now, and simply shrugs his shoulders. He bends over just enough to reactivate his microphone and straightens the screen a little so that Sander appears on the screen as little as possible, but as Sander is glued to him like a koala, it's just impossible.

_''Je vous écoute, Madame. Ne vous occupez pas de'' (I'm listening, Madam. Don't worry about)_

Aaron's chair tips over and he drops his computer in the process, showing that he is rolling on the floor, and especially that he was in his boxers.

_''Mr. Jacobs, pourquoi n'êtes vous pas habillé ?'' (Mr. Jacobs, why aren't you dressed?)_

Aaron stands up again and retrieves his computer, showing a view of his Superman boxers as he passes by.

_''Désolé. Je n'ai pas trouvé mon...truc...ce matin.'' (Sorry. I couldn't find my... thing... this morning.)_

The professor looks up and sighs.

_''Pantalon. Ce n'est pas compliqué.'' (Pants. It's not complicated.)_

Aaron pouting and Jens starts to scream.

"Madam, it's time!''

All the cameras cut off almost at the same time and Robbe does the same thing. His right hand always caresses Sander's back while he shifts slightly to look at him.

''Do you want something to eat, babe?''

Sander shakes his head with his eyes already closed.

''No, just sleep with you. I'm fine here."

Robe nods, kissing him gently on the cheek, embracing him with his arms.

''I love you, Sander. I love you so much. Just think about how much I love you, babe, okay?."

Sander gently caresses Robbe's neck with his nose.

"I took my medication."

Robbe smiles, kissing his hair.

"That's nice. I'm proud of you. You're going to be okay, babe. I've got you now. I'm never gonna let you down, don't worry. Love you."

Sander stands still and from his breathing Robbe is sure he's asleep. Some might think that the depressive episode is easier than the manic episode, but frankly, Robbe may find it even harder. Because during his episodes Sander gives the impression that he's a shadow of his former self. He spends his time sleeping but always seems exhausted, and above all he has no taste for anything. Even Bowie can't bring a smile to his face and it hurts to see. 

And then there are the dark thoughts. 

One day Sander explained to him that it was as if all his fears, all his insecurities came back into his head at the same time and that everything was taking on a logic that he can't fight with. And that's why he feels like he's too much, why he starts to think that Robbe is going to get fed up and leave him, and why he comes to think that maybe he'd better stop everything himself.

So with each depressive episode, Robbe tries to be as present as possible. He just wants Sander to know how much he loves him and that he will never be alone again. 

Robbe kisses Sander's sleeping hair again and grabs the blanket from the couch so he can put it on them, because he knows that Sander has always cold during his episodes, and he reactivates his camera. Sander is squarely visible, even if he gives the impression of being completely nested in Robbe. 

The economics teacher is already starting his class and pays no attention to him, so Robbe spends the whole class gently caressing Sander's back, whispering words of love to him so that they become imbued in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who read! Sometimes I feel like I must bore you to write so much and you must say "oh no, it's another one of his updates..." and then I read your comments and it makes me want to continue this adventure so much! 
> 
> So thank you all very much! ! !


	28. I overreacted again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until now, I was trying to be consistent with the series, but I bring two new plots that stand out more from what we could see in WTFock...you're thinking: wait, didn't he invent a big family from Sander? ...yeah, you're right...and well, it's in the same kind...well, not quite...well, just to say that I'm giving free rein to my imagination for the rest of the events...have fun...

_Wednesday 18 November, 11:10am_

Robbe is almost asleep against Sander when his phone rings. His last class was cancelled but as Sander hadn't moved and Robbe didn't want to force him to do so, he stayed like that, in the armchair, Sander asleep against him and even if he has to pee, there's no way he'll move from here. It's not that Robbe can't move, he could carry Sander back to bed, or just roll him onto the sofa next door, but he just doesn't want to. He likes the way Sander is curled up against him.

Robbe grabs his phone, causing Sander to kind of growl, but since he doesn't open his eyes and doesn't move, Robbe assumes that he is still asleep. 

Robbe's heart starts beating faster when he sees the caller. He almost hesitates, thinking it's impossible, but finally he accepts the video call, and his mother's smile goes straight to his heart.

"Mom?"

_''Hi, big boy. Sorry I didn't call earlier. I was tired but I'm better now."_

''It's okay, Mom. But I thought your phone was broken."

_''The father of the girl who hit me over brought me another one. Actually, he's a nurse at the hospital."_

Robbe nods. He doesn't know what Kato's father does for a living so it doesn't help him, but he has to agree that it was really nice of him to give his mother a new phone. Sander would say that it's the least he could do, but since many people wouldn't have done it, Robbe thinks it's nice.

_''Oh look! Eline drew me a picture, look how cute it is.''_

Robbe brings his phone closer to look at the child's drawing of a million butterflies flying in the sky.

_"It's pretty, right?"_

Robbe nods and looks at his mother who smiles again as she looks at the drawing. She looks good. Her shoulder is bandaged but otherwise she looks good. 

''Yes, it's very nice. Who is Eline, mom? Is she in the hospital, too?"

His mom's shaking her head.

_''No, she's the girl that hit me. Poor thing, it was the first time she tried to ride a bike without wheels. Her father says she said she would never want to ride again. But she's only 6 years old, she has time to change her mind."_

Robbe immediately feels like a complete idiot. In fact Kato has nothing to do with it. And the worst thing is that he doesn't know if he is relieved or disappointed. He was so convinced that it was all her fault that he had almost already prepared to spit horrible words in her face and now he's almost disappointed. And it's so shitty. Maybe he just didn't digest the whole story of the accident after all.

_''Robbe? Are you okay, big boy?"_

Robbe looks at his mother again and tries to smile.

''Yes. Don't worry, I'm fine.''

His mother frowns as she gets closer.

_''Is that Sander sleeping on you? He looks like a big baby, it's so cute."_

Robbe kisses Sander's hair without even realizing it before he smiles at his mother.

"He had a difficult episode, but he's doing better now. He just needs comfort."

His mother takes a maternal smile that Robbe thought was reserved for him, but he can see that she looks to the left of the screen, where Sander appears.

_''Oh...take good care of him. I'll leave you two alone. I just didn't want you to worry about me, I'm fine."_

Robbe smiles, letting go of all the worry he had about his mother.

''When are you coming home?"

_''Normally Sunday. If you need anything"_

''It's okay, Mom. Dad told me to call him if I needed to, and I would. Don't worry, I swear it's okay.''

His mother takes a big smile and it's really nice to see. She looks really good and it didn't take any less for Robbe to finally be reassured.He knows that it can change from one day to the next, but he can't concentrate on that, otherwise he would spend his time wondering when she's going to be bad, so for now he's just keeping the most important thing in mind: she's fine.

_''Okay. I'll leave you alone, Robbe, you have to eat before you go back to school. Think about yourself too, okay."_

Robbe nods and his mother throws a kiss. And only when he hangs up he sees Jens' message.

_Jens 11h12am_

_Sorry Bro, Kato says she fell because of a hole in the road._  
_I don't know if she's lying or if it's just a coincidence._  
_¯\\(°_o)/¯_

Robbe sighs and responds quickly.

_To Jens 11h27am_

_It was a coincidence, a 6 year old girl who hit my mother._  
_I feel so stupid!_  
_Sorry for dragging you into this._

_Jens 11h29am_

_Don't worry, I would have reacted the same way you did !_  
_And then no one will know except me 😉_  
_I have a favor to ask you so we'll be even 😳_

Robbe rereads the sentence twice before answering. And without the emoji, Robbe would have thought he was talking about something for the youtube channel, but when he does, Jens always puts a camera or a computer. In the end, it's more the emoji than the sentence that intrigues Robbe.

_To Jens 11h34am_

_A favor for a vlog ?_

_Jens 11h35am_

_No, nothing to see._  
_It's personal._  
_And I want to keep it just between us, okay?_  
_Us and Sander, of course._  
_I don't want to be the one who makes you keep secrets to your boyfriend 😈_

_To Jens 11h38am_

_I don't understand what you are talking about, Jens._  
_Are you all right?_

_Jens 11h40am_

_Yes, great._  
_I have to eat now._  
_But I'll talk to you about it soon, okay?_

  
_To Jens 11h40m_

_Call you after school?_

_Jens 11h41am_

_I've stirred up your curiosities 😈 ?  
Ok. Call you tonight.  
Hug your baby until then 💕  
  
_

_To Jens 11h43am  
_

_Are you sure you're okay?_

_Jens 11h44am_

_Of course._  
_I just need my best friend's opinion on something._  
_Come on, go eat too!_  
_And stop think about Aaron 🙃 🩲_

_To Jens 11h45am_

_I wasn't thinking about Aaron!_

_To Jens 11h47am_

_How many classes do you think he took just in his boxer?_

_Jens 11h48am_

_I don't even dare to ask him!😆😆_

Robbe smiles and puts his phone down, trying to think about what Jens might ask him and then thinks he'll know soon enough and hugs Sander against him, kissing his hair.

"Once again, you were right. I overreacted again. What would I do without you, my love?"

Sander moans and Robbe kisses him again.

''Yeah, I know. I love you too."

Robbe sets his alarm to ring at 1.10 pm, just before school starts again and puts his head against Sander's with his eyes closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come on, don't be disappointed, I think Kato's done enough bullshit as it is...
> 
> ok, I think our babies have suffered enough as it is...so tomorrow we take a little leap in time for a few days...but we will know what Jens wanted to ask Robbe... ideas?


	29. I missed you.

_Sunday 22 November, 10:52 am_

Robbe is watching Sander sleep. This is something he will never get tired of because he can admire every square inch of his face, but now he would really like Sander to resurface. All he's done is sleep and growl since Tuesday. He woke up several times and even though he took his medication and drank some water, he hasn't spoken. He got up less than 5 times to pee but Robbe hasn't managed to convince him to take a shower or to eat, and even though Robbe knows that it's normal and that the medication added to his usual treatment is surely a big part of it, he doesn't like to see Sander like that: present but absent at the same time. 

Robbe's phone rings and he grabs it by reflex but he sits in bed when he sees that it's Tobias calling him in facetimes. He picks up the phone and his cheeks turn scarlet when he sees his mistake. It's not Tobias calling him, it's the whole Driesen family.

"Hi Robbe, how are you?" asks Anne with a sweet smile.

''Oh, but you wouldn't be in bed by any chance, would you?'' Tobias asks with an exaggerated pout, ''At this hour? But who does that?"

Eefie and Romi start laughing and Robbe tries to comb his hair as best he can but he knows it's a waste of time.

''Oh leave him alone.'' asks Peter before smiling softly ''How are you doing, Robbe? We were worried beacause you weren't connected."

Robbe looks at the time, he didn't even realize it was so late, but anyway, he wouldn't have logged in to the weekly meeting on Sunday at 10:45 because Sander isn't well enough to participate.

''I told them that you wouldn't log in if Sander hadn't come back from sleep. So, is he still asleep?" asks Lara.

Robbe nods and turns his phone around to show Sander, who is sleeping, not seeming to be bothered at all by all the voices around him.

"Have you eaten, Robbe?''

Robbe turns the phone back towards him, looking down and shaking his head. He won't lie to Sander's parents.

''No, not yet.''

He won't say that since Tuesday he has only been snacking instead of making real meals. Sander and his mother will already blame him enough for that, reminding him that he has to take care of himself too. 

"Ok. We'll let you get up and prepare your croques, but we want to see you in 5 minutes, is that ok with you, son?"

Robbe looks at Sander's father and nods. It's not the first time he called Robbe like that, but it always weird. Pleasantly weird, but still weird.

''Ok. I'll get dressed and come over."

''Don't forget your croques!'' warns Lara just before the call goes out. 

Before getting out of bed, Robbe puts a kiss on Sander's forehead.

"If you want to see your family and eat a croques, you are welcome in the kitchen. Otherwise wait for me, I'll be right back."

Sander doesn't give any sign of an answer so Robbe gets dressed and then comes back to kiss Sander before leaving the room. He goes to do his hair and brush his teeth before he takes out the Croque 2000, sad that Sander is not there with him and he switches on his computer so he can join the conversation _''Driesen and Sunday's croques."_

''So I think Willem can't digest peas, but otherwise''

"Oh, Robbe's here," said Tobias, totally relieved. "Tell us what you want, Robbe, but I don't want to hear about my little nephew's poop. Lara, shut up, let Robbe speak."

Robbe starts laughing while Lara sticks out her brother's tongue.

''I don't have much to say, actually...''

''However, it's a big day for you today!'' Effie says, laughing.

Robbe looks at the date at the bottom of his computer and tries to think as fast as possible while putting two croques in the machine. Is November 22nd really supposed to remind him of something? Sometimes Robbe would really like to have the memory of dates.

"uh...Me?"

The twins start laughing, and Lara smiles but Tobias seems as lost as Robbe.

''It's the anniversary of the day my brother became a vandal to shout all over Antwerp that he was in love with you.'' says Romi with a flutter of her eyes, ''Sandy is annoying and hard to bear, but this was so cute.''

''It's become our selection criterion.'' says Effie seriously ''If a guy says he's in love with us, he'll have to prove it with a big gesture, like a mural with our face on it. I'd love to see my face painted on a wall one day."

Robbe remembers very well his first meeting with Robbe's sisters. They looked at him from head to toe before frowning and saying "You're the guy on the wall, right?". Robbe nodded with a smile, looking slightly at Sander and they left screaming that they were going to tell their friends, leaving Sander and Robbe facing his parents, who were obviously less happy to learn that it was their son who had done it, but then his mother said she thought it was really incredible.

''We could actually ask Sandy.'' says Romi before a big smile, ''Can you imagine? Like, right in front of the school, that would be so cool. Our friends would be so jealous."

Robbe starts laughing while Sander's parents roll their eyes.

''I wouldn't comment on what Sander did a year ago, but there's no way he would degrade a public place for you girls.''

''That's not degradation, dad! It's art!"

Robbe takes the croques out of the machine and at the same time a Sander wrapped in a comforter like a burrito appears in the kitchen. Robbe immediately opens his arms and Sander comes to curl up against him.

''Where have you been, baby? I missed you."

Sander's voice is a bit broken but it's really nice to hear.

''Nice to see you too, little brother!'' says Tobias.

''Hi, son.''

Sander turns to the screen and sighs so loudly that everyone can hear him. But instead of being offended, they all take a big smile as Sander takes a defeated face.

''We know you don't like to see too many people when you come back.'' says Anne softly ''We'll leave you alone. I'm glad you're feeling better. Try to eat a little. But you look good."

''You look like shi''

The conversation is cut off before Eefie finishes talking but Sander's moaning indicates that he heard it anyway. Robbe pulls him gently to the sofa, taking the plate of croques with him.

"I was sure the croques would make you get up. Would you like some? Sander's original recipe."

Sander sighs but takes a croque and bites into it.

''Thanks. So, I guess it's Sunday. What did I miss?"

Robbe finishes his bite before taking a big smile.

''Yeah, it's Sunday. So, I learned that Kato had nothing to do with my mother's accident, she was just a six-year-old girl actually. My mom comes home in this afternoon. Aaron has been taking class in boxer and everyone saw it when he fell out of his chair. Moyo's little brother scared him while we were in science class, he was hiding under his bed and Moyo screamed, it was a shame we didn't have sound. And what will interest you the most: I think Jens tried to tell me that he was into the guys, too.''

Sander raises his head with his bite, mouth open and it makes Robbe laugh.

''Yeah, I knew that you would be interested.''

Sander frowns and takes a bite out of his croque.

''When you say I think .... what happened?''

Robbe finishes his croque and rubs his hands to remove the crumbs before going to fetch two cokes from the kitchen. When he comes back, Sander has pushed the plate where only a small piece of his croque remains.

"So?"

''Actually, he wanted us to call each other because he wanted to ask me some personal advice, and, frankly, I had no idea what he was talking about."

Robbe stops for a sip of coke and Sander elbows him.

"And?"

''And he asked me a lot of questions about us: if I knew I was gay before I met you or if it was our meeting that made me realize it. And when I told him that I already knew, he was totally disappointed. I thought it was because I hadn't told him before, but he asked me how it was for you, how you knew you liked girls and guys, and I told him to ask you directly when you get better.''

Sander nods, seeming to be thinking.

''So? He met a guy?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders before taking another sip.

''I don't know, I asked him if there was a particular guy and he said he didn't know and we haven't talked about it since.''

Sander frowns, almost looks worried.

''When was that?''

''Tuesday night.''

Sander's face changes from worried to sad and he looks down at his hands. Robbe puts his coke on the coffee table and immediately moves closer to him to take him in his arms.

''Hey, who cares, okay? We'll take care of it when you get better. Talk to me, babe."

Sander seems really affected and Robbe regrets telling him right away. That's always the problem when Sander comes out of a depressive episode: he looks good, but he's still weakened by the days he's had.

"What if it was you? What if Jens just realized that he was in love with you? I know that you''

''Ohla, stop it right now." Robbe cut him off "Wake up your sleeping brain and listen carefully: I've never felt what I feel for you for anyone else. What I felt for Jens is light years away from what I felt for you the day I saw you, Mr. zero stars on booking.com''

Sander chuckles in Robbe's neck.

''I can still see the look on your face, you were so cute.''

Robbe kisses him on the corner of his cheek before squeezing him a little tighter.

"I only told you about it because I thought it would make you smile and because it's clear that Jens is going to want to talk about it with you, but I guarantee you that he doesn't see me like that, and even if he does, I won't leave, Sander. You're not a second choice, you're the obvious.''

Sander steps back slowly, with a nice smile on his lips.

''The obvious? And you say I'm too marshmallowy?''

Robbe shakes his head while smiling, placing his forehead against his own.

''I never said I didn't like it. Now I really want to kiss you."

Sander smiles a little more and nods.

''Me too.''

Robbe bends over gently to kiss Sander and he smiles in the kiss because that simple kiss only reinforces what he has just said: Sander, that's just the obvious in his life.


	30. How are we going to do it now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're waiting for answers...you won't get any...today, it's just an addition of fluff, love and moments of tenderness...

_Sunday 22 November, 12:18 pm_

"I missed it so much," Robbe moans.

Sander turns slightly to look at Robbe and takes a teasing smile.

''You haven't taken a shower for a week either? So that was the smell?"

Robbe rolls his eyes, pushing Sander's shoulders and then turns him again to massage his head a little longer. He loves to massage Sander's head, lathering the shampoo between his fingers.

''Of course I do, silly. But I missed you in the shower. Without you it's cold and boring."

Robbe puts a kiss on Sander's shoulder beforehand and makes them switch places so that Sander is under the water jet. Sander moans softly, while Robbe rinses his hair and then puts his head on Robbe's shoulder, eyes closed, swinging gently from left to right.

Robbe aligns his torso against Sander's back before passing his arms around his waist, squeezing him gently, swinging with him under the jet of hot water.

''Sorry I wasn't there.''

Robbe hits him gently on the belly, growling against his ear.

''How long have you been apologizing for that? Don't apologize, babe, you ain't got nothing to apologize for."

Sander sighs and Robbe hugs him a little tighter.

''Tell me what's on your mind.''

''I think you must have been lonely.'' Sander says softly and sighs again ''I'm sure you didn't make a decent meal and you spent your evenings in bed watching me sleep. And it scares me for when we'll both live."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and turns off the water by grabbing the bottle of shower gel in front of them. He opens it, puts too much and makes it foam on Sander's chest, who is startled.

"Fuck, that's cold.''

Robbe kisses him in the neck by rubbing his belly, his chest and then his arms.

''I can wash myself, you know.''

Sander says it but he doesn't make a move to stop Robbe who steps back to wash his back.

''I know. But just because you can do it alone doesn't mean you have to do it alone. I want to do it. And I want to be with you when you're not feeling well. And I don't have to spend all my time watching you sleep, I also have to play online, watch stupid movies, do my homework and finish your scarf.''

Sander turns around with a big smile.

''I finished yours too, that was a good idea. I made one for Milan, he'll love it.''

Robbe takes some more shower gel and lathers it up before letting his hands return to Sander's body.

''Yeah, I saw, it's beautiful. He's going to love it. I'm sure who's going to ask you who made it."

Sander shrugs his shoulders and then lowers his head and laughs.

''I think my dick is clean, Robbe.''

Robbe looks down and takes his hand away, feeling his cheeks take on that pretty pink color that Sander loves.

''Sorry. Habit I guess."

Sander giggles as he hugs Robbe.

''Don't apologize for that. I missed it too, but as you can see, I'm not hyper-responsive yet. But it's got nothing to do with you, baby, you know?"

''I know, don't worry, that's not why I came here. I just wanted to be with you."

Robbe turns the shower water back on and they're moaning about hot water on them at the same time. He barely backs up so he can wash himself too and then comes to rinse himself by sticking to Sander who is clucking.

''Your body says the exact opposite, Robbe.''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders, moving slightly so that his hard cock doesn't touch Sander anymore.

''Yeah, sorry. It's mechanical."

Sander smiles as he rolls his eyes.

''Really?''

Robbe shakes his head while giggling.

''Strangely, this happens especially when I'm naked with a certain brown-haired guy or when I think of him.''

Sander sighs and Robbe turns off the water and opens the shower door.

''But I was serious babe, we don't have to do anything now. Don't worry, it'll calm down by itself. I don't need that, I just need you."

Robbe comes out of the shower to grab their towels and hands his to Sander but he doesn't miss his sad look.

''Come on, let's get dressed and eat. A real meal this time, because my mother will be home in less than two hours and she'll kill me if she sees that I've eaten nothing but crap for a week''.

They dry off and head to the bedroom. Robbe puts on his clothes and watches Sander doing the same thing before falling backwards on the bed in a theatrical sigh.

''Sander, come and eat a little, please.''

Sander pouting, so Robbe lies down next to him, resting his head on his arm. 

''How are we going to do it now, Robbe?''

Robbe gently caresses Sander's cheek with his nose.

''About what?''

Sander sighs.

''Sex. I really wasn't well, you know, and that really scared me. I imagined doing things I didn't even want to do and even worse, I imagined forcing you. I really don't want to go through that again and put you through that again."

Robbe passes one leg over Sander's and gently caresses his cheek with his fingers.

''I'm fine, babe, don't worry about me. I hope it won't go through this again, but we'll manage, ok?"

Sander sighs and closes his eyes.

''Now I'm afraid we're going to think about it all the time. Every time I want to try something new, or I want to make love to you several times in a row, or I want you to take me hard, I don't want your first thought to be : _Is this the beginning of an episode?_ "

Robbe gently pushes on Sander's cheek to force him to turn his head. Sander does this but doesn't open his eyes.

"Sander Driesen, look at me!"

Sander opens his eyes and Robbe stares at him.

''Have I ever given you that impression? When you spend hours drawing? When you make me listen to the same Bowie song for more than an hour? When you refuse to get up on a Saturday morning and we stay in bed all day? Have I ever made you feel like I was asking myself if you're having an episode?"

Sander sighs and looks down.

''No, but''

''No buts, babe. I don't see you like that, okay? I never wonder if you're having an episode. I know it can happen, but I'm not waiting for it to happen."

Sander turns fully to face him, but Robbe doesn't move, still trapping his legs with hers, gently stroking his hair.

''How did you know then?''

Robbe smiles before he kisses him.

''Because I know you and I saw that you were not well. I could see that you were not the same as usual. And then I know you don't like gay porn."

''Porn'' rectifies Sander ''it's not specific to gay porn. I don't like to see other couples having sex. That's not true, it lacks tenderness, it's cold. The only porn I'd like to see would be you and me."

Robbe's face takes on a huge smile and he nods without even thinking.

"Okay."

Sander looks at him, almost astonished.

"Okay for what?"

Robbe giggles, caressing Sander's nose with his own.

''We could do that, one day, like sex tap. Just for us, of course. That could be fun. I mean, if you want. You know what, forget it, we'll talk about it later. Come on, let's eat."

Sander nods and they both get up but just as they leave the room Sander grabs his arm and forces Robbe to turn around to find out what he wants.

"We're going to eat and wait a bit until I get better, but I'm not forgetting the idea, Robbe. I like this idea."

Robbe nods with a huge smile.

''Good. I like that too."

They reach the kitchen holding hands and Robbe is completely lost in his thoughts now. He opens the fridge and tries to find out what they are going to be able to prepare to eat when Sander slips his hand into his pocket.

''I left my phone in the bedroom, I can put music on with yours.''

Robbe nods, but anyway Sander already has his phone in his hands. Robbe grabs some carrots and turns around with a start when he hears the music resounding through the kitchen speakers. He knows it well, he has been listening to it over and over for days, mainly when he watched Sander sleep, but Sander wasn't supposed to know that.

Sander looks at him with a huge smile, the same as when he discovered that Robbe was knitting.

''Since when do you listen to that, baby?''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders back.

''It makes me think of us. How I feel about you.''

Robbe puts the carrots on the worktop and Sander comes and hugs him.

"Sing for me, then."

Robbe sighs, pretending to be annoyed but puts his hands around Sander's neck and puts his head to the side of his, cheek to cheek before training him to dance.

"And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways'. Maybe just the touch of a hand. Oh me I fall in love with you every single day, and I just wanna tell you I am."

Robbe stops singing, letting Ed Sheeran do it for him but they continue to dance, in the middle of the kitchen. 

"We found love right where we are." sings softly Sander against his ear.

Robbe chuckles against Sander's ear. 

''I knew you knew your classics.''

They kiss each other tenderly, keep dancing and Robbe closes his eyes, imagining them in a small apartment, just for them, where they will dance like that sometimes, just because they love each other and are happy to be together. And Robbe smiles, because no matter where they are, where they will be or where they will go, his home is in Sander's arms now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could write for hours about how much they love and trust each other...
> 
> Thank you for being here and have a great day!


	31. Wow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read that the Belgians had the right to have a guest in their home during the lockdown...so our guest is coming...

_Tuesday 24 November 5:58 pm_

Robbe pushes the door of the house and holds it, waiting for Jens to enter.

''Thanks man. Are you sure it's okay?"

Robbe rolls his eyes before taking off his mask.

''Yeah, sure. We've just spent the day together, and we're allowed one guest."

Robbe smiles when he sees his mother in the kitchen, probably making dinner.

''Oh Jens, it's been so long. Are you okay?"

Jens walks towards her but stops before he touches her.

''I'm not going to hit you on the elbow, but the urge is there. Are you all fine? Not too painful?"

Robbe's mother looks at her arm, almost as if she had forgotten it. Robbe can't help but think she's doing too well. There's something different about her since she came back from the hospital, she's smiling more than usual and seems really well...yeah, really too well. And then Robbe remembers that he shouldn't look for problems where there aren't any and he grabs some drinks before heading to his bedroom.

''We're going to my room, mom, okay?''

She nods, almost singing.

''No problem. Will you stay for dinner, Jens?"

Jens shakes his head and smiles.

''No, I have to go home for dinner, but thanks. I'm going to piss, Robbe, I'm coming."

When Robbe opens the door to his bedroom, Sander sits against the headboard and draws. He was finishing school at 5 p.m. tonight so Robbe is not even surprised. Sander puts his sketchbook next to him and Robbe slips between his legs so that he can kiss it and then puts his back against Sander's chest, who crosses his arms over his torso, holding it tight against him. Robbe shifts just a little to be able to look Sander in the eyes.

''How are you doing?"

''Better. I took all the classes today, I was fine. I think I'm good now."

Robbe strokes Sander's arm which is on his chest and bends over just to kiss him.

''I'm happy to hear that. I missed you today."

Jens knocks at the door and looks at them with a big smile before he sits down on the desk chair and takes off his mask.

''Hi Jens.''

''Hi Bro, are you feeling better?''

Sander nods with a big smile.

''Yeah, really. And what about you, what's going on?''

Jens looks at them and Robbe sees immediately that he's embarrassed. He opens his mouth to talk, but finally he gets up.

''You know what, forget it. I'm going to go."

"Sit down!" orders Sander.

Jens sits down immediately and that makes Robbe smile.

''Do you want me to leave you two alone?''

Jens immediately shakes his head and it's nice to see that he doesn't hesitate.

"No, Robbe. It's just that I'm lost, okay? It's not really easy because I really thought I was straight. And then now.I don't know. When I look at you like this, I just"

Robbe frowns as he feels Sander tensing up.

"Are you into Robbe?"

Jens chokes on his saliva before he starts laughing. He laughs so much that Robbe could be offended if he wasn't relieved.

''No. Sorry Robbe, but no. Why would you think that, man?"

Sander just shrugs his shoulders and Robbe feels him squeeze him a little tighter.

''If you're into the guys, why wouldn't you be into Robbe? He's nice and funny, he's got a sexy fucking smile and he's so hot when he blushes like now.''

Sander kisses him on the cheek but all Robbe sees is Jens rolling his eyes.

''That, it's your Robbe. Mine is an inveterate grumbler who never says when he's not feeling well until he explodes and even though I love him like my bro, I would never love it like that. I'll leave him to you."

"I would never have let you take him away from me.'' Sander continues in a possessive tone.

Robbe straightens up and looks at them in turn before sighing.

''Okay, that's enough. What's this delirium? Jens, can you tell us what's going on so Sander calm down, please."

Jens nods, visibly uncomfortable again.

"So already, I don't know if I'm really into guys. I'm just wondering how do I know I'm not? When I look at the two of you, I see that you're in love, and it just makes me want to find someone to live it with, and then I ask myself : _Why limit myself to girls? What if it was a guy who could make me happy like that?_ Sander you understand me. How do you know it could be both?"

Sander just shrugs his shoulders.

''I don't know, I never really thought about it. I have a very open family where we were always told that love is not something you can control and that you can fall in love with anyone. And when I saw Robbe, I didn't"

"Wait!" Jens cut him off "Are you saying that Robbe is your first guy?"

Sander nods before kissing Robbe's cheek.

''The first and the last, yeah. Why?"

Sander says that so naturally that Robbe has to turn around to kiss him, whispering "I love you" while Jens shrugs his shoulders.

''We all thought you had more experience with guys than Robbe.''

Sander shakes his head and smiles.

''I'll probably ruin my reputation, but no. But actually you don't understand, for me girl or guy it doesn't matter. I fell in love with his smile, his laughter and his way of being. He would be a girl and it would be exactly the same for me. I don't care what he's physically, I'm in love with what he's.'"

Robbe looks at him dubiously before raising his eyebrows.

''Don't you care what I am physically? Good to know."

Sander chuckles, capturing Robbe's lips.

''But no baby, it's not like that. But if I love your body so much, it's because I love you. And it's clear that I'm lucky because you're beautiful, but I love you for who you are."

Robbe kisses Sander, whispering "I love you too" and Sander kisses him back, then breaks the kiss, leaving Robbe to recover against him.

''Ok.'' Says Sander softly ''Now, stop the bullshit, Jens, and tell us about the guy.''

Jens raises his head to look at Sander.

''What guy?''.

Sander smiles and looks at Jens.

''The one who makes you ask his questions. He always has a guy in that kind of story."

Jens gives the impression that he totally deflates. He pulls out his phone, obviously looking for something and then throws it on the bed next to Robbe and Sander. Robbe grabs it and a guy, obviously their age, appears on the screen, seemingly angry at the whole world but looking nice at the same time, which is rather disturbing. Robbe doesn't know if he would fall for him if Sander didn't exist and he doesn't even want to ask himself the question, but he is forced to admit that he has beautiful eyes.

''Oh the eyes he has!'' Sander blows out ''To make you change a straight man into a gay man with a blink of an eye.''

Robbe gives a slight elbow to Sander who laughs behind him.

"What? He's really pretty'' says Sander.

"He has Aaron's hair." grumbles Robbe.

Jens sighs rolling his eyes.

''Nonsense. Aaron looks like a sheep. Ok, stop. Come on, give it back."

Robbe shakes his head as he scrolls through the instagram account.

''So? You've become a stalker?"

Jens sighs, face in hands.

''No. He's my new neighbor. He moved into the apartment across the street from us at the beginning of the vacations."

Robbe looks at a closer picture. The guy has a rose tattooed in his ear, and just below it, on the back of his neck, a sentence is tattooed : _''No rain, No rainbow''_. Under the picture it just says _''Will the rain ever stop?''._

Sander clicks on the tattoo category. He has a tattoo on his arm where it says _''Nobody notices your pain, but everybody notices your mistakes''_. Sander scrolls through the pictures of the tattoos: a star, a drop of water, or maybe it was a tear, another rose, and then stops on the most recent photo.

''Wow.''

This time Robbe doesn't even elbow Sander because he agrees. Wow. It's crazy how it hurts to see thaht, when he doesn't even know the guy. On his chest, on the left, just above the heart, he has a tattoo: _''Every night I go to sleep dreaming of forgetting my pain, and every morning when I wake up she jumps in my face and sticks her claws right in my heart''_. And just underneath, there are four claw marks.

"He looks like he's been through a lot," says Sander as he gives his phone back to Jens, "So? Have you already talked to him?"

Jens nods with a smile.

''Yeah. I was actually going out for a skateboard ride on the first Monday of the lockdown because I couldn't stand listening to Lotte singing shit anymore. And he came out at the same time as me on the landing with tears in his eyes and a skateboard in his hand. And since I also had my skateboard, he asked me if there were any nice places here where the cops wouldn't be pissed off. And finally we spent the afternoon together. He's really nice, actually."

Robbe nods, waiting for the rest, but Jens is silent.

''And so? One afternoon with him and you're in love?"

Jens raises his eyes to the sky and sighs.

''No. We saw each other every day in fact. We talked a lot, even about you, in fact. And then last Monday after school, he asked me to come to his house. And then he told me that he was just waiting for his birthday on December 31 to go back to the Netherlands. And I don't know, it made me really sad. He told me that he came to his father's house because he had done something stupid after his mother died and when I asked him what he had done, he took off his shirt and showed me his tattoo. He didn't put the picture on Insta until two days later."

"And?'' asks Sander, visibly impatient to find out the rest.

''Lucas kissed me, and I reacted really badly.''

Jens' cheeks turn scarlet red, which never happens and he bites his lower lip.

''You didn't hit him?''

''Did you insult him?''

Jens sighs shaking his head.

''No, of course not. I've done worse than that."

Robbe tries to think as quickly as possible, wondering what can be worse, but frankly he can't see.

''Did you kiss him back?'' asks Sander softly.

Jens nods, putting his head in his hands.

''I kissed him and then I realized what we were doing and I ran away.''

Robbe simply shrugs his shoulders.

''I've done worse, you know. And yet look where we are now. You're wrong, hitting him or insulting him would have been worse. You just had a moment of gay panic, it's not a big deal. Do you like him?"

Jens shrugs his shoulders and then puts his head back in his hands.

''I don't know. It was so fucking easy when you told me you liked a guy. I was like, _''Yeah, that's cool. You don't get to choose who you like anyway."_ And now, I feel so lost."

Sander throws a pillow at Jens to make him raise his head and Robbe turns around to look at him. Sander has a sweet smile on his face.

''You have the right to panic, Jens. It's normal to ask yourself questions. If he really likes you, he'll understand. Have you talked to him since?"

Jens shakes his head, with a sulky face.

"I told him I needed time. But I miss talking to him. Fuck, it's fucked up."

''It's not. Just talk to him. Just be honest. No matter what happens, no matter how freaked out you are, the best thing you can do is talk to him. He'll understand, but don't close the door until you're sure you don't want to come in. And even if that happens, a door, it's opens again."

Robbe squeezes Sander's arms a bit tighter around him and bends over to kiss his arm before getting up from bed to grab a soda, give one to Sander while Jens takes the last one. Sander moves closer to the edge of the bed, coming to sit next to Robbe.

''Okay. Thanks guys."

They open their cans and lift them up to toast.

''You're welcome, Bro, that's what we're here for.'' says Sander with a smile.

Robbe takes a sip. That's a lot of new information. He looks at Jens, but he doesn't look any different. Did Jens see Robbe differently after his coming-out? Robbe shrugs his shoulders, convinced that the answer is no. Then he smiles at his best friend and takes another sip.

"I don't want him to think that I'd be interested in it and then chicken out. How do I know if I like gay sex?"

Robbe chokes on his soda, shaking his whole body when it comes out of his nose. Sander laughs, grabbing a box of tissues on the bedside table.

"Relax, baby. We're three near-adults, we can talk about sex. I know you have almost a year left before you turn 18, but don't pretend you're shy."

Robbe wipes off before looking at Jens.

''What do you mean by gay sex?''

Jens raises his eyes to the sky as if it was obvious but Robbe doesn't let go of his gaze.

''Fuck, Jens, I'll send you to Milan for an internship.''

Jens chuckles with a shrug.

''Yeah, I could have asked him too. Oh Robbe, don't make that face, you know what I mean. I respect you and you do what you want, and it's fine that you like it, but I don't like hard sex. I like tender love and I don't want to get hurt, so I don't see how that could work with a guy.''

Robbe stands there gawking in front of his idiot best friend before taking a pillow and hitting him with it several times.

''Robbe, it's okay, he's got it.''

Robbe looks at Sander and then hits Jens twice before coming to sit down.

''You are really stupid, you know. Not all gays are sadomasochists. You can make love tenderly. We make tender love. Why the fuck would you think that?''

Jens tilts his head to his side and shrugs his shoulders.

''I'm not going to draw a picture, Robbe, but it looks pretty painful to imagine that in my ass. And then in the movies, the guys look like they're in real pain.''

Robbe hits him again with the cushion, making a moaning moan.

''Cause straight porn really looks like the relationships you've had? That's stupid fiction. Sex, it's not like in porn. It can be tender and no, it doesn't hurt. We don't hurt each other, Sander and I."

Jens raises his hands in surrender.

''Ok, ok, sorry.''

Robbe nods, almost sulking and Sander pulls him up against him, giggling to put a kiss on his hair.

''Already think about your feelings for him and sexual matters will be secondary, don't worry.''

Jens nods but reopens his mouth almost immediately and Robbe already expects the worst.

"And how do I tell him if I'm only a top? It's not weird to want to do only one thing and then refuse your partner to do it, and force him to take on the other role.''

Robbe holds a sigh, remembering how patient Milan is with him when he asks questions and Sander chuckles as he kisses him on the shoulder again.

''You ask too many questions, Jens! Relax, Bro. Already, you're not imposing anything, everyone has to feel good about what they are doing. There are top couples, you know. Sander is right : Already think about your feelings for him and sex will come naturally.You might even be surprised."

Jens nods with a sigh.

''I think I'm in love with Lucas.''

Robbe looks at Jens and then looks at his door.

''Then why are you still here? Go to him, apologize and explain to him that you panicked."

Jens nods and gets up with a big smile.

''Thank you guys, you're great. Okay, I'm going."

''Keep us posted!'' shouts Sander before Jens is completely out of the bedroom. ''Do you realize, baby, you've become a guru? I'm proud of you, you barely got angry."

Robbe laughs, turning around to find himself in Sander's arms.

''Do you realize that my best friend thinks we like to hurt each other?''

Sander shrugs his shoulders, as if it wasn't that bad.

''He's an idiot. Well, do you want us to go through the rest of the instagram account? I got the name memorized."

Robbe looks up to the sky and then lies down on his bed, beckoning Sander to lie down next to him. 

''Yeah, go ahead, I want to know more about this guy. Vanderheijden, Lucas, what do we need to know about you?''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I have a surprise for you...
> 
> You're wondering what happened to Lucas? Why did he get tattooed like that? I've always liked the VanderStoffels idea...so I decided to create a parallel fic to this one on Lucas, and his meeting with Jens: a kind of crossover.
> 
> The two fics cross each other at several moments but also read independently.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/27774922/chapters/67991392#workskin
> 
> I put the first three chapters in one go so that we find ourselves at the same time in both stories.
> 
> I hope you'll like it...


	32. We'll never leave this bed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the VDS fic : Because of my neighbor, I advise you to read chapter 4 before coming to read this chapter below 😉

_Tuesday, 24 November, 7:08 pm_

''We should get up.''

Robbe says it, but he doesn't make any movement to move. He's lying on his back, on his bed and Sander's head is on his belly so he gently strokes his hair. His other arm rests on Sander's chest and he plays with his hand and even though he knows he should get up, he doesn't want to.

''Yeah, we should.''

Sander turns around and gently lifts Robbe's shirt to pepper his belly with kisses.

''Or we pretend to be asleep and stay here.''

Robbe laughs, running his hand through Sander's hair.

''Can we do that until the end of time? Stay here and pretend to be asleep?"

Sander smiles and comes up to kiss him. But if he was expecting a tender kiss, Robbe is almost surprised when Sander kisses him wildly, biting his lip.

''Would you offer me to stay in bed with you for the rest of my life? How could I say no to that?''

Robbe laughs, tugging at Sander's waist to get closer to him, and that's when he feels it. 

''I can see you're getting better.''

Sander raises his eyebrows with a smile and nods gently.

''Looks like it, yeah.''

After an episode, Sander always takes several days to fully return, and there is always a moment when he can no longer get an erection. The first time they wanted to make love too soon after an episode and it didn't work, Robbe immediately thinks back to that first time messed up between him and Noor, and even though he tried not to show it, he got a bit panicky inside himself. And of course, Sander saw it immediately so they both spent a while talking about it: Sander feeling like a loser and Robbe thinking it was his fault. Now Robbe knows that he has to wait, that it has nothing to do with how Sander feels about him, and that it's better when it's Sander who tells him that he's ready. 

And at that very moment, every time Sander moves gently against him, Robbe feels that he's ready.

"I don't ever want to get out of this bed again," says Robbe as he kisses him. "Never."

"Boys, dinner!'' calls his mother from the end of the corridor "The enchilladas are ready."

Robbe sighs and he sighs again when Sander gets out of bed.

"Hey! I thought we were pretending to be asleep!"

Sander looks at the door and smiles.

''Did you hear that? Enchilladas. Home-made. Come on, let's eat, get stronger and then we'll come back for more fun. You know very well that you won't let your mother eat alone. Come on, baby."

Robbe gets out of bed and sighs again.

''Okay. Just 'cause my mom makes the best enchilladas in the world and she hasn't done it in years. But then we'll come back here and I'll take care of you."

Sander smiles, kissing him.

''I'll take care of you too.''

He slaps his buttocks before running off to the kitchen and Robbe stays in his room for two seconds, looking up at the sky. Sander is a real kid sometimes. And Robbe smiles because he loves it.

His cell phone vibrates as he arrives in the kitchen and Robbe gets salivated just by the smell in the kitchen. 

''It smells great, mom! It's been a really long time since you've cooked this.''

He looks at his phone while his mother thanks him and Sander sets the table.

_Jens 7.16 pm_

_The ball is in his court._

_To Jens 7h17 pm_

_Can you be clearer?_

_Jens 7:17 pm_

_I kissed him._  
_I told him I love him._  
_He told me his life was in Utrecht ☹️_  
_And his father arrived..._

Robbe sat down next to Sander and showed him his phone. He knows Jens well enough to know that he doesn't talk about feelings and that if he does, it's because he really cares about this Lucas. But at the same time, he understands that it can't be easy to leave everything and be torn away from the only place you've ever known. Sander reads quickly and then shrugs his shoulders and picks up the phone to answer.

_To Jens 19h19_

_From Sander : Utrecht is only 1h45 by train, idiots!_

  
Robbe looks at him frowning. 

''How do you know that?''

Sander raises his eyebrows, serves their plates and then Robbe's mother before smiling.

''I went to Utrecht on 16 January 2016. I was devastated by Bowie's death as you can imagine. I had only known about him for less than a year and he was gone so quickly. He died on a Sunday and I didn't leave my bed for the week after that. And then on Saturday, the 16th, Lara and Tobias came into my bedroom saying they had a surprise for me and we left the house discreetly. We took trains to Utrecht. I was in a horrible mood because they wouldn't tell me what we were doing there. And then they stopped and...wait, listen.''

Sander opens youtube and does a search and then gives his phone back to Robbe. It's a chime ringing and Robbe frowns and suddenly he recognizes.

''Damn, it's Space Oddity, right?''

"Your language, Robbe!"

Robbe gives his mother a sorry smile and then looks at Sander.

"Yeah. For more than an hour, the chimes of the Dom Tower chimed Bowie's songs. It was just magic. I think it's the most beautiful thing Lara and Tobias ever did for me."

Robbe bends over to kiss Sander's cheek and the older man's hand comes to rest on his thigh in return.

"Your siblings look really great,'' Robbe's mother says, ''but your parents must have been worried to death."

Sander smiles and shakes his head, his hand always caressing Robbe's thigh from bottom to top.

''No, they knew about it. Lara and Tobias made me think we were going on the run, but it was actually my father's idea for force me out of my bed. But I didn't know that until two years later. During all this time, I thought we had managed to spend the day in another country without them knowing it.''

Robbe laughs because that sounds just like Sander's father to do that.

''I love this story. Come on, eat while it's hot.''

Robbe has almost finished his plate when his cell phone emits a familiar ping and turns on. And since he is still on the table between them, they bend over to watch at the same time.

_Jens 7h42 pm._

_Thanks guys!_  
_I have a boyfriend !_  
_That's just fucking crazy 😉 !_  
_Thanks guys !_  
_Have a good night !_

Sander looks at Robbe and smiles at him. A sweet smile that means _"you see, everything is fine"_ and Robbe is really happy to see how much Sander cares about his friends. How they have become their friends now and how Sander is really part of the Broerrrs now. Especially thanks to Jens who always made sure that Sander was of course invited to their card games or video game evenings. And Robbe smiles when he thinks of Aaron, who always looked surprised that Jens thinks it needed to be said and exclaims each time : _"Of course we want to see Sander too, why wouldn't we want to see him?"_ And now Robbe wonders how Aaron and Moyo will react when he finds out that Jens has a boyfriend.

''Who lives in Utrecht anyway?''

Robbe looks at his mother who looks at them and smiles as she puts his phone away.

''A friend. He just moved to Antwerp, but he wants to go back there."

His mother nods and gets up to fetch the desserts. And as he finishes his plate, Robbe feels Sander's hand gently slide from his thigh to his crotch.

"Sander" Robbe whispers.

Sander gives him his most innocent smile, while continuing to caress him. He doesn't really caress him, as his hand is more in Robbe's groin than on his cock, but it is more than enough to make Robbe want to leave the table and lock himself in his room with Sander, and he knows it.

"What?'' Sander whispers in back. ''I'm not even really touching you. Not yet."

And now Robbe only wants to go back to their room, lock the door and never get out of bed again. So as soon as they finish their desserts, Robbe clears the table and fills the dishwasher, trying not to show that he wants to hurry to his bedroom to having sex with his boyfriend.

"I'm going to read in my room," his mother says softly as she walks to her room, looking at her phone in a dreamy mood, "Good night and see you tomorrow."

She leaves with a big smile on her face, and it's really nice to see. She's really glowing right now. Sander turns off the lights in the kitchen and grabs Robbe's hand, gently pulling him to their room.

''Finally. Now we'll never leave this bed again."

Sander gently pushes him until Robbe falls on the mattress.

''You're the one who got out of bed!''

Sander kisses him, preventing him from talking and Robbe grunts, but kisses him at the same time. 

''Sander, the door.''

Sander grunts and gets up to lock the door. He only has a few seconds, yet Robbe takes the opportunity to undress. At least he tries, because he wants to do it so fast that he gets stuck between his sweater and his T-shirt. And instead of something sexy like he imagined, he has to look like an idiot. And that's confirmed when Sander starts laughing.

Sander's mouth is gently resting on his nipples as he helps him out of the fucking shirt.

''Oh Robbe, I love you so much.''

Robbe smiles, already pulling on Sander's sweater to take it off.

''Pressed, baby?''

Robbe stops in his gesture, realizing that he's indeed trying to go too fast, but Sander quickly undresses. And since he's incredible, he doesn't get stuck like an idiot in his sweater. Robbe chuckles as he remembers how they fell out of bed while trying to get Sander out of his stupid shoes. It seems like an eternity ago, but at the same time Robbe would never want to forget it. Sander chuckles as he takes off his pants and socks and Robbe is sure that he's thinking about it too.

''I missed you too.'' Sander says as he puts his hand in his boxers. ''I want you so much.''

Sander caresses him gently, yet Robbe already knows that he is ready to come. He hasn't done anything for more than a week and he feels like he's going to explode.

''How?"

Sander seems to hesitate and then goes down gently, gently kissing his chest.

''In my mouth. I'm sure you're already ready to come, Mr. impatient."

Robbe doesn't even try to deny it, it's useless, he knows he won't last. Anyway, Sander doesn't give him time to deny, he already has Robbe's hard cock in his mouth and sucks it gently back and forth. Robbe stands up to look at him, runs a hand through Sander's hair, and the only thing he can think about is how much he wants a video showing this: exactly this: Sander looks up to look at him with a dirty look while sucking him.

''Fuck, shit. Sander." Robbe lets out a sigh more than a moan when he comes into Sander's mouth ''No.''

He slumps down on the mattress, almost sulking, blaming himself for coming so quickly.

''Even faster than the first time.'' Sander laughs softly, ''I must have improved.''

Robbe sighs and hides his face in his hands while grunting.

"Sorry. Oh shit."

Sander pushes his hands with his head to come and kiss him.

"Was it good?"

Robbe rolls his eyes sighing before looking his boyfriend in the eyes.

''You made me come in less than two minutes, of course it was good. You just drive me totally crazy.''

Robbe gently pushes Sander so that he lies on his back and straddles him with a smile.

''Wait, I'll show you how good it is.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Utrecht carillon really sounded Bowie's songs on January 16, 2016 to pay homage to him...I stumbled upon it totally by chance, but I had to let Sander go listen to it 😂😂😂
> 
> Imagine the sulky 15-year-old Sander who has just learned of the death of his idol and who thinks he's going on the run to another country with his siblings to listen to Bowie's bells...I imagine all too well 🤩🤩!


	33. How much do you want to bet?

_Wednesday, November 25th 7:47 pm_

Robbe frowns as he looks at his mother and kicks Sander's thigh slightly as he is sit on the other end of the couch.

''Don't you think my mother's been weird since she's been back?''

Sander turns around, not at all discreetly, to look at Robbe's mother who is cleaning the kitchen and shrugs his shoulders.

''She looks good.''

Robbe looks at her and then frowns again.

''Yeah. She looks too good. She cooks, she sings, she goes to buy flowers."

''She hasn't gone out.'' Sander cut him off ''The flowers have been delivered.''

Robbe looks again at the bouquet of orange flowers on the kitchen table and looks at Sander.

''What?"

Sander is again totally omnibulated by what he is drawing, but even though Robbe usually loves it and leaves it there, now he want an answer. So he pushes him gently with his foot.

''Stop it, you're going to make me miss it. It's super important."

Robbe folds his foot towards him and Sander sighs as he looks at him.

''Sorry, baby, but I'm concentrating now, I don't want to miss it.''

Robbe tries to grow up to see the drawing but Sander closes his notebook.

''Is this for school?''.

''No, it's personal. That's okay, I'll stop for tonight. Okay, I'm yours."

Robbe frowns, looking at the drawing book as if he can see through it.

''Personal, like you don't even show it to your boyfriend?''

"Exactly." Says Sander with a big smile. "Well, what did you want?"

Robbe looks at Sander and then looks at the notebook again.

''No, but really? Since when have you been hiding drawings from me?"

Sander sighs and looks up at the sky and gets up.

''Oh God, baby, you're impossible. I thought I had a right to privacy. Do you trust me or not?"

Robbe looks at him and pulls him towards him, making him sit on his lap.

''Of course I trust you. Sorry. I don't like it when I feel like somebody's hiding things from me. And everybody's hiding things from me."

Sander laughs in Robbe's neck while stroking his hair.

''No one is hiding anything from you, baby.''

''You hide your drawings from me, Jens hid from me that he was seeing a guy for three weeks before he told me, and my mother hides from me what's going on in his life. I feel like I'm completely out on the street."

Sander sighs before kissing Robbe on the forehead.

''Oh drama queen. I'm preparing a surprise for you, you did the same thing to Jens a year ago and I'd like to point out that he told you about it as soon as he understood that he was in love, I think. And I think your mother is in love."

Robbe turns around so quickly to look at his mother who pushes Sander a little and that throws them off balance so much that the next moment they are both on the living room carpet laughing.

"Are you okay there?" asks his mother, laughing.

"Yeah, yeah." Sander laughs. "Nobody died."

''Sorry.'' says Robbe, kissing him before getting up.

Robbe looks at his mother who grabs his phone before heading to his bedroom.

''Will you watch a film with us, mom?''

She looks at them but already shakes her head, without even asking what they want to watch.

''No, I'm going to read. I'll see you tomorrow."

She locks herself in her bedroom and Robbe turns around to watch Sander.

''Do you really think so? How do you know the flowers have been delivered?"

Sander sighs and goes into the kitchen to heat up some water.

''I'll make you some tea without tea, the rooibo thing, it will take the stress out of you. I had come for coffee when the delivery boy rang."

Robbe looks at the bouquet and goes around, but there's no envelope.

"Your mother took it off. And no, we're not going to search her room."

Robbe sighs as he takes out two cups.

''I wouldn't have done that. Just like I wouldn't rummage through your damn notebook to find out what you're up to. But do you think I should tell her?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head.

''I don't think so. I think you have to wait for her to tell you. Like she's coming out of the closet. Who knows, maybe you're going to have a mother-in-law."

Robbe looks up to the sky while watching Sander laughing at him.

''What? Maybe seeing us has opened up his horizons."

Robbe picks up a packet of cakes and goes to the sofa while Sander brings the cups.

''Nonsense. Maybe it was her sister who made her deliver the flowers."

Sander looks at Robbe with that look in his eyes that says _''You are so naive, that's so cute''_ and then starts to giggle. Almost like when they met at the beach, in fact. Then Robbe laughs with him before taking cakes that he dips in his tea.

''How much do you want to bet?"

Robbe sighs as he looks at Sander out of the corner of his eye and it makes his boyfriend laugh. A laugh echoes from his mother's room. It's not the kind of bloodcurdling laughter she gives when she's not well, but it's far too real to be just from a book. So Robbe knocks gently at her door, and his mother must see the worry on his face because she strokes his cheek and smiles at him.

''Sorry, I'm on the phone, but I'm fine, promise.''

She closes the door and Sander looks at Robbe and laughs.

''Maybe it's your aunt telling him a joke.''

Robbe throws a pillow at him with a "oh shut up" and Sander starts laughing. And even though Robbe is worried about his mother, he starts laughing because it's fucking obvious that she has met someone.

"Am I a horrible son?"

Sander looks at Robbe out of the corner of his eye, wondering if he's really asking the question and he moves closer to him to take him in his arms as soon as he realizes that Robbe is really asking the question.

''You're a great son, Robbe. My mother would adopt you without hesitation. In fact, no, she would trade you for me. You're the best son a mother could have, okay? Your parents aren't even officially divorced, so it's okay to panic. She's never seen anyone else?"

Robbe shakes his head, locking himself up against Sander.

''It's normal that you feel weird, baby, but give her time, she'll tell you when she's ready.''

Robbe sighs and raises his head so she can kiss Sander.

''How do you always have to be so good?''

Sander takes a big smile and Robbe puts his hand over his mouth.

''If you remind me again that you are of age and I'm not, I'll kill you.''

Sander shakes his head to take his head off while laughing.

''I was going to say that I have 2 years, 3 months and 23 days more than you.''

Robbe hits him on the shoulder and Sander pretends it hurts so Robbe gently pulls him towards him to kiss him.

''I'll need more than just a kiss, you really hurt me.''

Robbe rolls his eyes but smiles.

''So what do you want?''

''I haven't tested the Milan massage oil yet, and maybe afterwards I'll show you something else he offered us.''

Robbe finishes his tea in one sip and pulls Sander's hand to follow him to the bedroom. Sander laughs as he takes off his sweater and then his shirt before lying down on the bed. Robbe pulls out the massage oil and struggles with the cap to remove it. And then sure enough, just as the cork jumps out, half of the bottle tips over on Sander's back.

''Robbe, what is the''

''Sorry, sorry, sorry. Don't move, I got this."

It's a good thing it wasn't a huge bottle, but it's still a lot of product. Robbe passes his hands around as best he can, trying to rethink how Sander massaged him and rolled his fingers onto Sander's shoulders. 

''Robbe?''

Mmhh?''

"Were you serious?"

Robbe lets his hands go down along the spine to the hollow of Sander's kidneys.

"About what? If it's about the fact that you're hiding things from me, no, I didn't mean it. I was an idiot. Sorry."

Sander clucks in the pillow.

''No, silly. About sex tap."

Robbe lets his hands reach up to Sander's shoulders and embrace them, bending over at the same time to get closer to his ear.

"Of course I was serious, why?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders so Robbe massages one arm.

''Many people say that you shouldn't do that, that it can go wrong''.

Robbe passes over Sander's other arm, putting a kiss on his cheek in the process.

"Usually the problem occurs when the couple breaks up. The one who wants to hurt the other one publishes the video and it goes wrong. I wouldn't do that, and I know you wouldn't either. For me, it's all about trust, just like stopping using condoms. Besides, we're not going to break up, so it's not a question. I'm okay to do it, but if you don't want to, I understand."

Robbe massages again the part of Sander's back that he prefers: the hollow of his kidneys. He has two small hollows at the very bottom of his back and Robbe loves to put his thumbs on them before massaging him up to his waist.

''No, I'm in too. I was just asking the question, that's all. You know when you want to do that?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and then starts laughing.

''When my mom's not home.''

Sander giggles and then turns around, grabbing Robbe to hold him in place so he doesn't fall down.

"The sheet will be filled with oil."

Sander shakes his head with a smile and spreads his arms apart so Robbe puts his hands on his torso and massages him, taking advantage of this to kiss him before straightening up to continue.

"In fact" said softly Robbe ''I think I'd rather have our point of view filmed, rather than fixed. Because that's what I want you to see: how I see you when we make love."

Sander raises an astonished eyebrow and then nods.

''Yeah. Definitely. But do you think you'll like seeing yourself the way I see you?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''I don't really know. How do you see me?"

Sander sits down and takes off the sweater and then Robbe's T-shirt to put him shirtless before hugging him.

''You look beautiful. What I like is when you are totally fucked up. You look back but I know you can't see anything because I'm doing you so much good that you can only focus on what you're feeling."

Sander gently massages Robbe's back, while pecking his chest with kisses.

"And you? How do you prefer to see me?"

Robbe kisses him before answering and then kisses his jaw up to his ear.

''I like the moment right after you come. You're completely relaxed, not quite down from your high yet, and you're smiling blissfully. You look totally at peace when you're like this.

Robbe smiles, kissing Sander's ear.

''And I love to watch you suck my dick.''

Sander shakes his head and laughs.

''No, that's my thing. I want to film you with your deer eyes. I drew you like that during my episode."

Robbe hugs Sander, caressing his back.

''I know, baby. As long as it stays between us, I don't mind, you know."

Sander shrugs his shoulders, sighs.

''It bothered me. Because in my head, I was holding you, and I wasn't letting you stop."

Robbe gently kisses his temple, always caressing his back.

''Would you like that? Not force me, of course, but for example, hold me and set your rhythm and I could hit your hand when I don't want to."

Sander steps back to look at Robbe and frowns.

"What? No. Why would I want that? No, I told you, during my episode, I imagined things I didn't want, that's part of it. I want you to suck on me because you want to, I don't want to feel like I control you."

Robbe nods, squeezing him again.

''So when I'm holding your hands to keep you from touching yourself, do you feel like I control you too much?''

Sander smiles before biting Robbe's lip.

''No, I love that. But I know you'd stop if I asked. I feel more taken care of than mastered and I love it. But I don't want to do it to you. Hell yeah, I want you to film me like this."

''How?"

''When you won't let me touch myself and I'm only coming because of you inside of me. I want to see that."

Sander gently pushes Robbe to sit next to him and goes to search their closet.

''And look, we could use that.''

Sander pulls out a pair of black fur handcuffs and Robbe has no doubts about where they come from.

''Milan?''

''Yeah.'' Sander confirms as he gets back up on the bed. ''It was with the massage oil. But since you weren't well, I just took the oil out and forgot about that. You could tie my hands and hold me with one hand, leaving you with the second hand to hold the camera.''

Robbe tries to imagine the trick and puts a handcuff around Sander's wrist.

''Yeah, that's fun. Perfect for tonight, too."

He quickly passes it around a bar on the headboard and closes the second handcuff on Sander's other wrist.

"Or I can do it like this and have both hands free."

Sander laughs, clearly not having seen it coming, but doesn't even try to struggle.

''Ok. And what do we do now? Or rather, what are you going to do to me?''

Robbe looks at him with a big smile.

''Remember what your therapist said? We don't spend our days having sex. So tonight we don't do anything. Because on Sunday, I'm gonna spend all day in this bed with you and we're gonna blow our weekly sex quota.

Sander frowns.

"Why Sunday?"

Robbe rolls his eyes as he walks to his desk.

''You know why. I know you still think it's our anniversary on the 29th, and I'm okay with that. So I asked my mom to leave the house just for the two of us and on Sunday she's going to spend the day at a friend's house. She lives all alone so I hear she's very happy to have a guest. So now I wonder if she's really going to a friend's house or a boyfriend's, but that's not the point."

Robbe settles down at his desk and takes out a course book.

''So in the meantime, we do nothing. And that's good, because I haven't done my homework for tomorrow."

Robbe smiles when he hears the sound of the handcuffs banging on the bed bar and he's sure that Sander tries to open them himself but fortunately he can't do it.

''You're not really going to leave me like this tonight, baby?''

Robbe turns around and raises an eyebrow.

''How much do you want to bet?"


	34. But that's not why I love you

_Saturday, November 28th 11:56 pm_

''You know, I don't need to celebrate it a second time.''

Robbe grunts because he was almost asleep and looks up at Sander.

''What? Of course we're going to celebrate. Even ten times if we want to. And then I have a surprise for you tomorrow. Ok, maybe I was too eager to celebrate our anniversary. On second thought, I like your idea. Tomorrow it will be one year since we are the only ones who really matter in each other's lives.''

Sander takes a huge smile and rubs his nose against Robbe's nose to keep him awake.

''What's my surprise?''

Robbe closes his eyes, caressing his cheek.

''You'll see tomorrow. Good night, babe."

''You know.'' Sander says softly ''I really meant what I said, a day, on November 29th, you'll become Mr Robbe Driesen.''

Robbe reopens his eyes and smiles.

"And why not Sander Ijzermans?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders and bends over to Robbe to kiss him.

''Whatever my husband wants. Except compound names, it's too long for the children.''

Robbe chuckles, resting his head against Sander's chest. 

''That way, instead of counting our wedding anniversaries, we'll always count the number of years we've been together. Wedding anniversaries are stupid. We'll never count that."

Robbe stands up to look at Sander, frowning against his will, wondering why Sander is talking about this now when they were almost asleep. 

''No, I'm fine, I promise. I just always thought it sucked to count wedding anniversaries because it didn't mean anything. When they say that the 7th year is hard, how can it be the same for a couple who met at 17 and got married like 5 years later, and a couple who got married a year after they met? It's totally idiotic."

Robbe rests his head against Sander's chest and settles back comfortably as he was before.

''Those are statistics, babe. After 7 years couples have 2 or 3 childrens and don't plan to have any more, they have a steady job and the couple has no more surprises. It's the routine that kills the couple. So for us, no problem with that."

Sander gently pushes Robbe's head to force him to open his eyes.

''Why? Do you think it will take us longer to have childrens?"

Robbe clucks again against Sander's chest, raising his hand to caress his cheek.

''No, because routine doesn't exist with us, babe, and I hope it never will. I like that. But right now, I'm tired. And I want to be in shape for tomorrow. Sleep tight."

Sander kisses him on the forehead and just when Robbe finally thinks they're going to sleep, his phone starts ringing even though he was sure he had turned it off. Robbe looks at Sander who has his phone in his hands and gives him a teasing smile. So, he sighs and grabs his own phone from the bedside table.

He clicks on Sander's notification and immediately smiles.

''Oh. Thanks babe, it's beautiful. It looks like you made my angel the main element of the drawing, it's perfect. And I'm naked under my jacket? You'd like that, right? Thank you, babe, I love you."

Robbe kisses him and then puts his phone down.

''What? You're not even answering me? Your friends are gonna answer me before you do? That sucks, man. You should be the first one to comment."

''Eh! No call me, man, for our anniversary.''

Robbe picks up his phone and types his answer with a smile because he knows it's going to piss Sander off that he reminds him that he has a surprise for him tomorrow and he doesn't know what it is. Because if Robbe knows how to be impatient, Sander knows how to be impatient too.

Robbe looks at Sander who raises an eyebrow and Robbe's phone rings almost immediately. He reads Sander's message and looks at the clock. Shit, Sander is right, it's already tomorrow since few minutes. Sander raises a winning eyebrow and Robbe turns to his phone.

''Technically, you only came in the evening, so you might have to wait a long time.''

Robbe laughs at Sander's sulky face and adds a message to make fun of the use of emojis and then puts his phone back on the bedside table.

''Come on, babe, let's go to sleep.''

His phone rings again and Robbe can't resist taking it back. The screen is invaded by hearts. He giggles, answers Sander and puts his phone down, hugging Sander.

''I love you so much. You're my fake bad guy. Beneath your mysterious airs, you are so marshmallowy. I love that so much."

Sander puts his phone down and hugs him back.

''Good night baby. Love you too."

Robbe closes his eyes, hugging Sander as tight as possible. He reopens his eyes to find this perfect face totally relaxed.

''Thank you for this year. Love you."

Sander gently caresses his back and smiles.

''The first in a long line baby.''

Robbe closes his eyes and he falls asleep almost immediately. It's his alarm that wakes him up at 7:30. He turns it off immediately and watches Sander. His slight snoring shows that fortunately he's still asleep so Robbe gets up quietly and puts on the jogging pants and sweater that had already prepared him for this morning.

He sneaks into the house and puts on his jacket before going out. The cold seizes him immediately and he regrets not having thought to learn his bonnet. The first bakery is not far away and Robbe walks to the second one because he knows that the croissants are better there. He buys six of them and comes home as soon as possible, hoping that Sander hasn't woken up without him. He puts the croissants on the kitchen counter, putting two on display for his mother who will surely be awake before them and returns quietly to the bedroom. Sander still makes that little noise that isn't really a snore so Robbe undresses, goes back to bed, hugs the love of his life and almost immediately goes back to sleep.

When Robbe opens his eyes the next time, Sander is lying on his side and looks at him smiling. He looks at him, but he looks pensive and Robbe would pay dearly to know what's going on in his boyfriend's head right now. And he smiles as he thinks about it, because he doesn't have to pay, just ask.

"What are you thinking about?"

Sander smiles a bit more as he strokes Robbe's cheek. 

"I tell myself that I'm incredibly lucky to wake up next to you every morning and I hope it never stops."

Robbe smiles and turns slightly to kiss Sander's hand on his cheek. 

"At least for another 99 years my love."

Sander chuckles and bends over to kiss Robbe, punctuating his kisses with a _"happy anniversary"_ , two _"I love you"_ and a _"so what's my surprise?"_. 

Robbe looks up to the sky pretending to be annoyed but hugs Sander against him. 

"Okay, you're in for a surprise."

Robbe gets out of bed so fast that Sander can't catch him and gets dressed quickly. 

"Hey, where are you going? I thought you planned a day where we don't leave this bed? Come back...Robbe..."

Sander makes puppy eyes and curls his lower lip but Robbe shakes his head.

"That's what you get for being so impatient. Come on, your surprise is waiting for you in the kitchen."

Robbe disappears into the kitchen without giving Sander time to answer. He takes out two plates with two croissants on each and fills the glasses with orange juice while pressing the coffee machine. 

On the worktop there is a note from his mother wishing them a good day and warning them that she will be back around 9 p.m. after dinner to give them some time together. Since it's only 10am, they have plenty of time to enjoy it until then. Robbe decides not to ask himself whether she is at a friend's house or at a potential boyfriend's and turns to the hallway from which Sander emerges.

"Fresh croissants, babe?"

Sander looks at the plates and is stunned.

"Did you send your mother to the bakery on a Sunday morning to get us croissants?"

Robbe stays 2 seconds without answering, wondering whether Sander is laughing or not, but he soon realizes that he looks really serious.

"Are you laughing? It's your wonderful boyfriend who went out this morning, at 7.30 am, in the cold and dark just to bring you some croissants. I would have brought you flowers, but the florist doesn't open until 9:00."

Sander looks at the croissants and looks at Robbe again.

"You went out at 7.30 to buy me croissants? Why were you awake so early?"

Robbe nods with a smile.

''I had put an alarm on. I wanted everything to be ready when you woke up."

Sander joins him and hugs him, kissing him tenderly.

"But how could I have been so lucky?"

Robbe smiles and signals Sander to sit down. He giggles when he sees Sander taking a picture of the croissants because he is sure he will publish them and make him look like a great boyfriend when it's just few croissants. 

And indeed, Robbe's phone starts ringing, showing that Sander has pinned it, so he comes back to him and takes his phone away.

"Next is private. No videos, no photos. It's just between us."

Sander widens his eyes a bit more, looking at Robbe as if he's going to eat him.

''Breakfast show?''

Robbe nods with a smile and nods to Sander to sit down, biting his head so he doesn't laugh because he knows very well what kind of show Sander is thinking of.

Robbe goes to the bedroom and comes back with his guitar in his hand. Where anyone who would have imagined a lap dance or strip tease would be disappointed, Sander takes a huge smile.

"Will you play for me?"

Robbe says nothing and sits on the chair in front of Sander. He knows that Sander loves to listen to him play, and that he loves to hear him sing, but Sander has never seen him do both at the same time, because Robbe thinks he looks idiot. But today he has decided to do everything he can to please the wonderful boy in front of him, so he takes a slight breath and plays.

And he's happy that he chose this song that starts with _Lalalala_ , because it makes him see right away that Sander doesn't seem to know this song. So Sander smiles even more when Robbe sings the first words: _I like your smile._

Robbe tries to look at Sander while he plays, but he doesn't want to get the chords wrong. So he looks down at his strings, but he looks at Sander while singing: _But that's not why I love you._

He smiles as he sings: _And I, I like the way you're such a star_ , remembering Sander's well-used quote during the last lockdown: "I'm an instant star. Just add water and stir."

Robbe looks at his chords again to sing the chorus, congratulating himself that he managed to learn enough during the last episode of Sander. That didn't leave him much time, but he rehearsed it so many times in four days that he knows it really well. And since Sander got better, he repeated it while he was in the shower, putting on music to hide the sound of the guitar. So it's not perfect, but Sander's smile is enough to make him want to never stop.

Robbe looks at Sander, singing the words that seem to have been written for them: _I'm not sure you know, that the reason I love you is you. Being you. Just you. Yeah the reason I love you is all that we've been through and that's why I love you._

A tear flows on Sander's cheek and a second one joins her immediately. Robbe drops his guitar, putting it on the table to take Sander's cheeks in section.

"Oh no, don't stop."

"Don't cry, babe."

Sander lets out a sob that he tries to contain and Robbe kisses him gently on the cheeks.

''I know I'm singing off-key, but still.''

Sander starts laughing between tears and Robbe laughs with him, covering his face with kisses while Sander hugs him.

"You are so perfect, Robbe Ijzermans, an angel fell from heaven."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the fans of Skam France know the I love you from Rioppy...here is the I love you from Avril Lavigne...
> 
> If you listen to it, personally, I wrote while listening to this version played on the guitar :  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQo7njdqlKU
> 
> Close your eyes and imagine Robbe...so do you feel what I feel, too?


	35. Je t'aimerais toute ma vie

_Sunday, November 29th 11:08 am_

"Please, one more."

Robbe looks up to the sky and puts his guitar on the table to Sander's displeasure.

"You've been saying that for twenty minutes babe. I swear if I listen to you, the croissants are going to be hard as rock long before you let me stop playing. Come on, let's eat."

Sander pouting, but this time Robbe ignores him, pulling him to the table to eat the croissants. 

"Will you play for me another time? Please? Usually you never want to play and sing for me, so if it's only today, I want to enjoy it."

Robbe rolls his eyes, mocking the side so dramatic that his boyfriend sometimes takes. 

"Tell me it wasn't just something unique..."

Sander rolls up his lower lip and it makes Robbe smile as he kisses him on the cheek. 

''Ok, it's not.''

Sander takes a huge smile and raises his arms to the sky, as if he has just won a match.

"Yeah! Ok, I want you to play me something in French."

Robbe half chokes on his orange juice and then looks at Sander shaking his head. 

"No way. It's embarrassing enough to sing in English. I feel like I look so stupid."

Sander stands there for two seconds with his mouth open, then grabs his phone from the counter and finishes his croissant bite.

"Okay. You play and I'll filming you, so you'll see how handsome you are."

Robbe starts laughing while shaking his head. 

"Nice try but no, babe. If I let you film me, I'll be in your story by the end of the day. And as much as I love that you're proud of me, I don't want anyone else to see it."

Sander sighs dramatically as he stows his phone in his pocket and bites into his second crescent. Robbe knows very well that he's doing everything he can to make him feel guilty, but even though he knows it, he feels bad.

"Okay. Maybe I'll sing in French for you. Just no movies, babe, okay?"

Sander nods, a big smile on his lips, showing that he's already totally impatient. Robbe almost regrets that his friends forced him to speak French for an entire evening when he lost a bet. He remembers how Sander looked at him, almost shocked, before declaring _it's the sexiest thing in the world_. He also remembers how his friends laughed wildly afterwards.

"Still, I don't really understand," says Sander as he dips his croissant in his coffee. ''You agree that I film it for you during sex, but not when you play the guitar?''.

Robbe shrugs, finishing a sip of coffee. He gently pushes Sander's chair back so he can come and sit on his lap.

"I have 100% confidence in you not to divulge the sex tape, but surprisingly, the percentage drops to 5%, maybe 10% maximum, when they talk about me on the guitar."

Sander nods his head slightly to the side and then takes a big smile.

"You overestimate me, baby. I think it's safe to say it's 0%. But it starts from a good feeling: I'd like you to see how others perceive you rather than how you think you are. You're so wonderful, I can't believe you would think otherwise for a second."

Robbe surrounds Sander with his arms, bending over in a tight hug.

"You're my boyfriend, it's normal that you think I'm wonderful."

Sander shakes his head and giggles. 

"You're wonderful, and it's why you're my boyfriend, it's not the same. Je t'aime''. (I love you)

It's clear that if Moyo or Jens heard that kind of thing they would pretend to vomit. Not Aaron because he's even more marshmallow than Sander or Robbe. But for now, Robbe doesn't care. Sander always finds the right words to make him feel good, confident and safe and it's still amazing.Robbe gently caresses Sander's nose with his own, like an Eskimo kiss.

"Je t'aime aussi et je t'aimerais toute ma vie.'' (I love you too and I will love you all my life.)

Sander kisses him and slides his hands under Robbe's shirt, gently scratching his back.

"Sander...how about a shower together?"

As an answer, Sander stands up, wearing Robbe against him. He readjusts it slightly, pulls it up a little and takes it into the bathroom. He puts it delicately on the carpet without stopping kissing him. Robbe pulls the shirt over Sander's head and takes the opportunity to remove his before resuming their kiss. He just removes the button from Sander's pants that Sander's phone starts ringing.

''It doesn't care."

Sander gets rid of his pants, throwing them in a corner of the bathroom and hastens to unbutton Robbe's pants. He just unzips his fly when Robbe's phone rings.

''Let it ring.''

Robbe already has his phone in his hands, more by reflex than by envy and frowns.

''Did you tell your parents we're not going to the family reunion on Sunday?''

Sander sighs with a sorry smile and sighs a second time when Robbe shows him that it is Tobias who is calling them.

''Shit, I forgot. Wait, wait.''

''No, don't pick up the''

Too late, Sander picks up the phone and like last time, not only Tobias, but the whole Driesen family greets them and then frowns slightly.

"Are you naked?" asks Romi.

''No. Of course not.'' laughs Sander ''We were going to take a shower. I just forgot to warn you, but it's our first anniversary today, so we weren't really planning on connecting. Robbe's mom went out so....We're fine, I'm definitely better. Have a good Sunday. Bye.''

Robbe's cheeks are now completely crimson, and he wonders if it's possible to have even redder cheeks when Sander's family starts giggling, parents included.

''Okay. Have a good time''.

"Happy anniversary guys!''

"Have a nice shower!"

"Be"

Sander hangs up and puts the phone on the shelf before taking Robbe's lips against his own.

''I hate you so much. Did you have to tell them that we were going to shower together and fuck all day long? You know I'm not comfortable with that."

Sander steps back astonished then gently caresses Robbe's cheeks.

''My parents have 5 children, Robbe. 5. And my mother has been pregnant 7 times. Do you think they don't know what we do? I'm not ashamed to say that we're going to make love all day and neither should you. It's just love. And then for all the times I've surprised my parents''

''I don't want to know," says Robbe as he puts his hand over Sander's mouth ''Just shut up. I don't want to imagine that now. Never.''

''Ok, sorry. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, I just wanted to get rid of it quickly. I did not think about it. Sorry. Please, tell me I didn't mess it up."

Robbe smiles, stroking his cheek.

"I really want a shower."

They quickly take off their boxers and the next moment they are under the jet of hot water, gently caressing each other while kissing. One of Sander's hands plays softly with the angel around Robbe's neck while the other gently caresses his buttocks.

"What do you have planned for the rest of the day?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders while leaving several kisses from Sander's neck to his shoulder.

"Nothing. We do what we want."

Sander nods and then pushes Robbe against the shower wall, making him jump against the cold tile floor.

"I want you to be the one who decides," Sander says in a deep voice before kneeling down. 

Warm water falls right on Robbe's shoulders, trickling down his body without splashing Sander as he takes his dick in his mouth. He gently sucks it twice and then stops and takes Robbe's hand to put it in his hair.

Robbe smiles and runs his fingers through Sander's hair, pulling them really lightly and guides Sander back and forth. He closes his eyes, tilting his head back, water splashing on his face as he increases the pace, while pushing his hips a little more inside Sander's mouth. 

Sander half chokes, while Robbe straightens up and steps back.

''Sorry. Shit."

Sander shakes his head and takes it all back and then stops, obviously waiting for Robbe to guide him. And as Robbe doesn't move, Sander hits him gently on his ass. So, Robbe resumes his rhythm and pulls his brown hair slightly so that Sander looks at him. And this vision is just a torment. 

''Stop it, babe, I want to go to the bedroom.''

Sander gets up and comes to kiss him, rubbing their hard cocks together.

''Oh yeah?''

Robbe nods quickly, stroking their dicks together before stopping.

''Yeah. I want to film you. Do you want to?"

Sander nods with a naughty smile.

"Fuck, yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if the guys actually take French classes, but in my head they do. I think it's so hot with their accent...(just like the way Robbe says Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, ... rolling the R's. It's so cute).
> 
> So we made this sex tape?


	36. I'm the lucky one.

_Sunday, November 29nd 12:38 pm_

"What are you doing there?"

Sander smiles behind his phone and shrugs his shoulders.

''You wanted us to film. Do you want to take your phone?"

Robbe shakes his head as he grabs Sander's phone and turns the camera off.

''Have you ever seen the film Sex Tape? Ok, disconnect your wifi and the data, I don't want it to sync up. I'll retrieve it directly over the wire.''

Robbe deactivates the parameters then activates the bluetooth to link it with his gopro before putting his phone on his desk so that he can film the bed.

''I thought you wanted a movie at the heart of the action?''

Robbe nods, positions Sander's cell phone at the other end of the bedroom and sits on his lap with his gopro in his hand.

"We'll have three different points of view, so I can make a nice montage."

Sander starts laughing and kisses him on the neck.

''You've really thought a lot about this, right?''

Robbe nods, happy to be able to keep control of the color of his cheeks.

''Yeah. I've been thinking about it for a while. Maybe I would have liked to have this kind of film during the first lockdown."

Sander hums something while kissing Robbe's neck, moving his head a little so he's more exposed, before sucking his golden chain. His hands slip under the towel tied around Robbe's waist and he caresses him underneath, as if he was keeping him hidden from the camera. His lips return to Robbe's, their tongues gently turning together and then he grabs Robbe by the thighs and turns around so that he finds himself lying on the mattress. Robbe sees him wink at the camera in his hand and then Sander comes down gently, kissing his chest before licking the tips of his nipples. 

His hands reach down to the towel to open it and Sander retrieves the camera from Robbe's hands before standing up.

''That's how I like to see you. You're so beautiful."

Robbe feels his cheeks turning red and hides his face in his hands, feeling totally exposed. Sander bends down, pushes his hands with his head so he can kiss it, then straightens up again and undoes his towel. He spreads Robbe's thighs a little further apart so he can get inside and lines up their dicks together so he can caress them together. 

He puts the camera in Robbe's hand and continues to caress them, closing his eyes and throwing his head backwards while moaning. Robbe looks at him, still can't believe how lucky he is. Sander is just beautiful when he totally lets himself go like now. Sander reopens his eyes and looks at him smiling.

''I think you're filming the ceiling, baby.''

Robbe looks at the open hand on the mattress and the camera he had totally forgotten about. Sander moves backwards and slightly down on the bed before pulling Robbe's arm.

"Get on your knees."

Robbe retrieves the camera, gets down on his knees. Sander takes it all in his mouth before looking up at him and quickly sucks it off before licking only the tip while looking at the camera.

"Stop, babe, or I'll come."

Robbe steps back, trying to control himself and Sander gets down on his knees to come and kisses him, stroking his arm up to his hand to retrieve the camera. Robbe kisses him on the neck, leaves a hickey on it while gently caressing him and then bends over to lick it. Sander puts a hand in his hair just to be able to push it away and Robbe smiles while sucking it because he knows that his boyfriend wants him to look at him and he must be dying of impatience.

''Robbe, look at me, baby.''

Robbe sucks him twice more before looking up at him, and Sander almost immediately throws his head back.

''Fuck yeah, that's too good. You're so perfect."

Robbe puts one hand on Sander's chest and gently pushes him to lie down on the bed. He licks it and then retrieves the bottle of lubricant from the bedside table before coming back between Sander's legs. He opens it, lubricates his fingers and gently inserts one of them, taking Sander's dick back into his mouth. He adds the second one almost immediately and feels Sander arching. He licks his dick one last time before straightening up, retrieving the camera with his left hand at the same time. He tries to hold it as high as possible to film Sander, completely naked on his bed, moaning because Robbe's fingers go back and forth inside him. Robbe inserts a third one and Sander rolls his eyes backwards, making a series of jerky moans.

"Robbe, come, please, I need you.''

Robbe removes his fingers and bends over to kiss him.

''I'm here, babe. I'm taking care of you."

He grabs the lube and puts it on his dick. He puts it all over the side because with one hand it's not really easy, but he doesn't pay any attention to it. He hands the camera to Sander but Sander doesn't move to take it so Robbe keeps it and films himself going inside his boyfriend. And seeing him through the tiny screen totally overwhelms him so he stops.

''It's okay, baby, come on.''

Robbe shakes his head and puts his free hand on Sander's hips to stop him from moving.

''No that's not good, I'm coming. Wait, just two seconds."

Sander gently caresses his cheek and Robbe turns the camera around to film his face. He smiles tenderly and Robbe feels like his whole face is saying _''I love you. It's all right."_. Robbe leans forward to kiss him, intertwining his hands with Sander's, leaving the camera somewhere on the bed. He gently bites Sander's lip as he goes deeper into him and then stops again when he's at his maximum.

''I love you so much, Robbe.''

Robbe closes his eyes, letting his head fall into the hollow of Sander's neck.

"I love you."

He wants to say so much more. To say that Sander is the man of his life, that he wants to be able to spend every day with him, to be able to wake up and fall asleep next to him, that he wants to be there when he's well, but also when he's not. But for the moment, he can only articulate his three words.

''I love you."

Sander moves his hips gently, so Robbe stands up slightly so he can make love to him. He goes back and forth a few times and then grabs Sander's thighs to bring them up on his elbows and hits him harder. Sander moans so loudly that Robbe knows that he hits his protaste every time. He raises his head to look at him and falls face to face with the camera filming him, which makes him smile.

Sander slips a hand to caress himself and Robbe immediately takes it away from him. 

"Just me."

Sander moans, almost whimpers but nods. It doesn't take long before the camera gets lost in the sheets again, Sander is too busy with his orgasm to care.

''Come for me, my love.''

Sander moans, puts his head down to look at his cock, and Robbe knows he needs to be touched, but he also knows it will be even better that way. Sander slightly moves his hands held by Robbe's hand and moves his hips again. 

"Do you want me to stop?" Robbe asks softly, loosening his grip around Sander's hands.

Sander shakes his head, whispers an almost inaudible "no". He moves one of his hands towards Robbe's hair, and closes his eyes again. Robbe slaps his thighs against Sander's ass twice more before to feel Sander contracting. He retrieves the camera just as Sander comes to his stomach, his eyes rolling backwards, looking almost in a trance and outright fucked up. Robbe comes inside him but tries to stay as still as possible to film Sander's so relaxed face before crashing into him completely, leaving the camera next to them.

Robbe has not completely regained the normal breathing that Sander's lips are already on his.

''I'm so lucky to have you in my life.''

Robbe smiles, shakes his head and withdraws from Sander before lying down next to him.

''I'm the lucky one. You make my life so wonderful."

Sander hugs him and kisses him on the temple before lying down. They stay a few seconds listening to the silence and then Robbe's belly makes a growl.

''Are we going to take a shower and prepare some food?''  
  
Robbe sighs, holds Sander to keep it against him but his stomach resounds again.

''Ok, let's do it.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only three more chapters and this will be my longest fic...
> 
> it's already the one with the most comments, and I really thank you for that!! I like to know that you are always in this story with me and I love that you give me ideas, sometimes even without realizing it, I'm sure. Sometimes I just read an "I liked this moment" and it makes me think of other things I could develop
> 
> so if you want to see something in their moment of life, don't hesitate (The meeting with Lucas is already scheduled (and in face-to-face😍😍).)
> 
> Have a good day, and I hope you liked it today 😉


	37. You and me, 100% in all universes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, 
> 
> I hope I missed you...(ok I'm too dramatic right now, I only missed one day...) but I thought a lot about you! 24h is not enough in my day sometimes...Yesterday was shopping day and Christmas and decorating the house...a crazy day! 
> 
> I wish you all a beautiful Saint Nicolas! (I grew up in the East of France so even though I don't live there anymore, I love St Nicolas day).
> 
> And I can't wait to tell you about the St Nicolas of our favorite lovers, but in the meantime, let's finish their birthday.

_Sunday, November 29th 2:02 pm_

"I think it's good Robbe, there's more than enough of it. Are you waiting for someone or what?"

Robbe looks at the two plates of tomatoes that have just been cut and starts laughing.

''No, but I know you like tomatoes.''

Sander giggles, kisses him and picks up the plates to put them on the table before adding two baskets full of salami.

''Yeah, I think we've definitely overdone it.''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders, licking his lips because he's too hungry. But there's something missing.

''Wait, I'll get us some napkins. It's like we're in a restaurant."

Robbe opens a cupboard and rummages through it, then closes it and comes out triumphant, a packet of paper napkins in his hand.

"Are they fish?'' asks Sander as he looks at the napkins.

Robbe takes out two of them, and looks at them frowning.

"But no, they are lemons."

Sander puts the napkins on the plates.

''Why some are pink, then?''

Robbe takes a picture of the table and then starts laughing.

"I don't know. Those are strawberries, maybe? Okay, these are the weirdest napkins I've ever seen. You know what, let's call them pineapples."

Sander bursts out laughing as he takes one of the napkins in his hands.

''They don't even look like pineapples, I swear they're fish.''

Sander quickly looks at his phone and smiles as he looks at Robbe's story, and shares it on his story before putting down his phone and sitting on Robbe's lap.

''You know what I think?''

Robbe shakes his head and smiles, gently caressing his back.

"I think that in another universe, Sander and Robbe are currently in facetimes and are sad not to be able to really see each other. So, I'm really glad I changed your mind about me coming here and that you convinced me to stay after my episode. I'm really happy to live in this universe."

Robbe smiles but shakes his head again, gently caressing Sander's cheek.

"I believe that if there is a universe where we were not confined together, we still met today. Because today it's you and me, 100% in all universes. Fuck everything else.''

Sander takes a huge smile before he embraces him tenderly.

''Still, I am happy to live in this universe with you.''

Robbe smiles, kissing him back before putting his head on his chest.

"Me too."

Robbe starts giggling against Sander's chest.

''Maybe in another universe the napkins are different.''

Sander laughs, gets up to sit on his chair, right next to Robbe and grabs a part of cake.

''Come on eat, baby, it looks so good! Even better than a restaurant."

They toast with the cocktail prepared by Sander before kissing. There is indeed too much for the two of them, but whatever, they will finish the leftovers later. So they eat, chatting and laughing, holding hands even though they are sitting right next to each other, just because they need to touch each other.

"I don't even have place for dessert anymore," Robbe says with a sigh before sitting down on the sofa.

Sander comes and sits between his legs, locking himself in his arms and Robbe closes his arms on him. He puts his head against Sander's head and gently breathes in his scent. He closes his eyes and smiles, trying to imagine what they will do on other years for their anniversary. Will they both just stay in their home? Will they go out to a restaurant?Is Sander telling the truth and that a 29 november, they will get married? Will Sander wait until one of their anniversary to propose? 

Robbe opens his eyes and looks at Sander who seems to be sleeping against him. He gently strokes his hair, letting his fingers play with it. Would he be able to do that, get married? He always thought it was a silly notion and that he would never do it, but when he looks at Sander like that, he can't help but think that he would make a perfect husband. He imagines Sander proposing in a totally improbable way and he already knows that he won't be able to say no. And that's when Robbe realizes that it will never happen. Sander will probably never ask him to marry him, he will wait for Robbe to do it, even if he has to wait his whole life, just to make sure he is ready and really wants to. And just for that alone, Robbe loves him even more.

''A penny for your thoughts.''

Robbe reopens his eyes, gently caressing Sander's cheek.

''I was thinking about how much I love you. You're just perfect for me. How you are always so thoughtful with me.''

Sander opens one eye and closes it almost immediately, gently caressing Robbe's arm.

"I love you too, baby; but I can just think about how much I've eaten too much."

Robbe chuckles, bending over to kiss his hair.

''What do you want to do?"

Sander barely readjusts his position with a smile but keeps his eyes closed.

''Just enjoy being in my favorite place, in your arms.''

Robbe gently strokes his arm, and even though their position is not the most comfortable, Sander falls asleep almost immediately. Robbe looks at the table that they should perhaps have cleared before and then closes his eyes. It can wait.

When he wakes up, the living room is plunged into darkness. It is almost completely dark outside and Robbe thinks about how much he loves summer and its big sunny days. He gently caresses Sander's cheek before rolling him onto the sofa to get up. Sander grunts slightly but settles back in, and it's there, just by looking at him lit by the moonlight that Robbe has a nice idea. 

He quickly tidies up the lunch table and then goes to search the hallway closet for candles. He also takes the big vanilla candle that Milan bought him to perfume his room at the flatshare. He places three candles on each bedside table, but even if he lights them all, they won't see anything. He comes back to search in the kitchen but doesn't find any more candles.

He looks at Sander who is still sleeping and then he goes back to the hall closet and takes out a garland. He puts it back immediately because it is a Christmas garland that flashes all the colors and another one comes out, white, and smiling. He returns to his bedroom, hesitates then finally he surrounds the headboard before the garland, the branch just to try and rubs his hands because it is perfect.

Robbe undresses and puts on a black jockstrap and the shoulder harness before getting dressed again. He already imagines the smile that Sander will get when he gently caresses his back, as he often does and he will feel the straps. And even though he said he wouldn't think about it, he hopes it won't be too much for Sander and that it won't trigger an episode. But they've had other days with a lot of sex before, like the day at the end of the first lockdown, and that kind of thing hadn't happened. And now that Sander knows that he has to be careful, Robbe is sure that he will know when it gets too much for him, and that he will say it without hesitation.

Robbe looks at the room and smiles. They don't even have to have sex here, they can just hold each other and talk or just listen to music, and that will be perfect too. 

''Huh? Are you there, baby?"

Robbe unplugs the garland and joins the living room still plunged in darkness. Sander sits on the sofa, trying to tame his hair and rubbing his eyes.

''Hi, babe. Sleep well?"

Sander nods, pulling Robbe to come and sit on his lap.

"You' ve been up for a long time?"

Robbe shakes his head, gently kissing his cheek.

''No, a quarter of an hour maybe. Just time to tidy up a little."

Sander hugs him gently, resting his head against Robbe's chest, gently caressing his back.

''I am so''

Sander moves his head back, frowning slightly and gently scratching Robbe's upper back, appreciating the difference in thickness due to the harness.

''Oh. Just time to tidy up, huh?"

Robbe gently pushes him away with a smile, resting his forehead against him.

''If it's too much, you don't have to, but if you're okay, I thought you might like it.''

Sander smiles, gently kissing Robbe's neck.

''I'm fine, and I'm really, really happy about it. You're incredible, Robbe."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders, thinking he is just normal but stands up and puts a light kiss on Sander's lips.

''Ok. Then just leave me two minutes and meet me in the bedroom."

And the smile that Sander takes, barely two minutes later when he enters the room illuminated by the garland and candles, is worth all the gold in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that this time we are done with this beautiful birthday ... Tomorrow, in the next chapter, it will be a crossover with Jens/Lucas... finally the meeting...


	38. I'm really happy to see you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally !!! ok, for those who follow the two fics, I advise you to read the other one before, chapter 10...

_Tuesday, December 1st 6:45 am_

Robbe's alarm clock rings and he immediately grunts, quickly joined by Sander.

''It's too early!''

Robbe turns it off then stretches and turns to put his arms around Sander and kiss him on the rounded shoulder.

''You can sleep again, babe. I'm going to take a shower."

Robbe kisses Sander's warm naked skin a second time and then gets out of bed, grabs his things and heads for the shower. He can't really complain because he only has face-to-face classes on Tuesdays, but he's torn between wanting to stay home with Sander and wanting to see his friends again. 

He doesn't really have a choice anyway. So he gets dressed and goes back to his room to put down his things and take his school bag. Sander is no longer in bed, but Robbe is not surprised, he can already hear Bowie softly echoing from the kitchen.

When he arrives in the kitchen, Sander has his back to him, making two coffees. The cereal is already out, as well as the bowls and the milk and Robbe can't help but think how perfect all this is. He can already imagine how great it will be to live together soon. It will probably be different when Sander has to go back to school and he also has to get ready for 8 o'clock, but for now it's just perfect.

''Good morning, beautiful. Eat or you'll be late."

Robbe looks at the time on the clock and takes the coffee that Sander hands him, offering him a kiss in exchange.

''You didn't have to get up now, you could take the opportunity to get some more sleep.''

''And leave you alone?'' wonders Sander ''No. My baby doesn't eat alone."

Robbe rolls his eyes but puts down his coffee and hugs his boyfriend before pecking his lips with kisses, punctuating them with ''I love you.''

Sander smiles in the kisses.

''I love you too, but I don't want you to leave without eating.''

Robbe finally settles down and serves himself a bowl of cereal but now he has to hurry if he doesn't want to leave late. 

''You call me if you have any problems, okay?''

Sander rolls his eyes and almost pushes him out.

''Go away. We can manage without you, don't worry. Since I don't have class this afternoon, I'm going to spend all my time drawing, I won't even notice the time passing. I'll see you later."

Robbe kisses him one last time before leaving for school by bus. It's too cold to take his bike this morning. When he arrives at school, Jens is already there, and even if he's wearing a mask, Robbe knows him well enough to know that he's smiling. They greet each other but Robbe sees right away that Jens wants to talk about something. 

''Are you all right?"

Jens looks at him surprised and nods.

''Yeah, great, why?''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders.

''I don't know, you look...I don't know. Is there something you want to talk about?"

Jens nods and it makes Robbe smile because it confirms that he knows his best friend well. Ok, he didn't see the fact that Jens could be in a relationship with a guy coming, but apart from that, he knows him really well.

''Do we both eat lunch together?''

Robbe nods and the bell rings almost immediately, exactly when Aaron joins them by hitting them on the back. Fortunately, the morning classes go by rather quickly. And finally, at lunchtime, things are really natural: Aaron joins Amber and the girls, while Moyo and Kato step away from the group and spend the break talking. So Jens and Robbe sit in a corner of the courtyard together, leaning against the wall so that they can chat while eating.

"How are things going with Lucas?"

Jens takes a huge smile, and Robbe knows that he already has the answer to his question.

''Good. Very good. That's just phew. My dad freaked out a bit when he found out, but he pulled himself together. Lucas stayed at my house Friday night but Lotte didn't leave us alone for two minutes. And Saturday night I had dinner at his house and his dad was pretty cool. It went well. I slept at his house Saturday."

Robbe nods, biting into a piece of his sandwich.

''Already meeting the parents. It's going fast, isn't it?"

Jens shrugs his shoulders, swallowing his bite.

''Since we're neighbors, it's not a big deal, I already knew his father, in fact. Besides, we don't have much choice since we can't go out. It's pissing me off about this pandemic. And since he's going to leave at the end of the month, if we want to take advantage of it, it's now."

Robbe frowns and elbows Jens.

''You're not in a hurry because of that, are you?''

Jens frowns in turn and turns slightly to look at him.

"What do you mean?

Robbe rolls his eyes, putting his sandwich on his lap.

''You looked pretty lost last Tuesday, I just don't think you should rush into doing something you might regret just because he's leaving at the end of the month.''

Jens opens his eyes and takes a silly smile.

''Does my best friend talk to me about sex in the middle of the schoolyard? Who are you and what have you done with prude Robbe Izjermans?"

Robbe elbows him in the ribs while taking his sandwich.

''I'm not prude! It's just that I'm not interested in talking about girls or sex with girls. But if you have any questions, I'm here, okay? Or Milan. He'll be happy to help you."

Jens smiles and gives Robbe a slight shoulder.

''Thanks bro. So yeah, maybe I have a question. But ... okay no, forget it.''

Robbe simply shrugs his shoulders and Jens takes a blasé face.

''What? That's it! You're a lousy guru! Milan would have said _''but no, go ahead, tell me, I'm listening.''_ You suck!''

Robbe laughed and elbowed him.

''You suck! I'm here if you need me, but I won't make you talk to me. Come on, ask your question and I'll see if I answer it."

Jens starts laughing.

''You really suck! I think I'm going to call Milan."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and pulls out a bag of chips but Jens elbows him and Robbe smiles because he knows he's going to talk to him.

''Yeah?''

"Okay... how do you make it last?"

Robbe turns to Jens, waiting for him to say more, but Jens looks at him, obviously waiting for the answer.

''Okay. I need context, idiot, and I need to know what you mean by make it last? Did you already have this kind of problem with Jana?"

Jens shakes his head and laughs.

''Oh Robbe, your cheeks are scarlet red. That's not for me. I'm fine, at least I think so. Maybe it's quick, but when he does that thing with his tongue, it's"

"No ! Stop!'' shouts Robbe while hitting him ''No details. Okay forget what I said, call Milan, I can't do this."

Jens sighs and elbows him again.

''Come on, don't be a baby. Okay, no details, sorry. Anyway, I'm not the problem. I mean it's not a problem, but every time I touch him, Lucas comes almost immediately and then he blushes and apologizes. And even if I think he's too cute when he does that, I wish it would last longer for him. I...I wish...I would have...I...."

Robbe raises an eyebrow, looking at Jens who is looking for his words and then starts laughing.

''I think I'm going to call Milan.''

Robbe laughs a little louder then calms down because Aaron looks at them strangely, quickly joined by the girls.

''You wanted to suck him but he came too fast?''

Jens nods, almost shamefully, and Robbe bites his lower lip so as not to laugh at the embarrassment of _Mr I-am-supposedly-cool-to-talk-about-everything._

''Okay. He's never been with a guy?''

Jens shakes his head and smiles.

''He's been with girls in high school, but he already knew he was gay, so I don't think they went far.''

Robbe smiles. It's silly, but it's almost reassuring to know that he's not the only one who did this. 

''Okay. So think about how he's probably never been touched by anyone else. So just take it slow, damn it. Take breaks, give him time to control himself. Sometimes with Sander, I had the impression that he could make me come without even touching me. The novelty is exhilarating. Lucas's probably in love for the first time, remember how you were with Jana.''

Jens smiles, resting his head against the wall.

''Do you think it's normal if I don't feel with Lucas what I felt with Jana?''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders. 

''I don't know. What do you mean?''

Jens shrugs his shoulders, spiking chips from Robbe's packet.

''I don't know. I was really in love with Jana, and I still have a lot of feelings for her. But with Lucas, it's different. I miss him when he's not with me and when I'm with him, I feel different. Not like I have to be different to please him, but like he makes me different, and I like that. I love who I am when I'm with him."

Robbe gently taps Jens' shoulder.

''Yeah, you completely fell down!''

Jens looks at him and smiles.

''You're the one saying that? You completely fell down, too!"

Robbe nods with a smile. 

''Oh yeah, and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.''

And when at 4.55 p.m. Robbe walks through the door of the school, talking with Aaron and he sees Sander waiting on the sidewalk right in front of his mask down, already ready for a kiss, Robbe can't help but let out a little scream, because yes: he has definitely fallen! Totally in love. And this flood of emotions that overwhelms him just because Sander surprises him by picking him up at the end of class is just wonderful.

He throws himself in his arms to kiss him, and laughs when Sander lowers his mask to be able to kiss him properly. But Robbe doesn't even have the time to enjoy it fully as he is pushed unceremoniously.

"At last! I missed you buddy!"

Aaron serves Sander in his arms and Robbe pushes him away slightly and grunts.

"Hey! 3 feet, Aaron." 

But Aaron doesn't move, doesn't even seem to notice Robbe, too happy to see Sander.

"I missed you too much, how are you? Are you still putting up with our Mr. Grumpy?"

Robbe puts his head against Sander's shoulder, mumbles "I'm not grumpy" and smiles when Sander kisses him on the forehead. He knows that he should be happy that his friends and boyfriend get along, but for now he wants to have Sander all to himself because a whole day without seeing him is too difficult.

"Luc!"

Robbe looks up to see Jens jumping almost right next to them and that's when he notices him. He doesn't even know how he didn't see him. Jens hugs him before kissing him and that makes Robbe smile. That, and Aaron going crazy next to them.

''I'm really glad you came for me'' Robbe whispers in Sander's ear.

''I knew you'd be happy.'' mumbles Sander before he kisses him.

From the corner of his eye Robbe watches Aaron hallucinate, and he pushes him slightly so he can go and hit his elbow against Lucas' elbow.

"I'm really happy to see you."

Lucas smiles as he looks at him.

"I'm really happy to see you too. Jens has told me a lot about you. About you two."

Robbe looks at Sander and then frowns slightly, asking why Sander doesn't come to greet him.

"We've been talking for at least ten minutes waiting for you, babies. That's what it's like to date high school boys."

Robbe rolls his eyes while Lucas laughs and Jens looks at him almost hypnotized.

"You heard that, _baby_."

Jens grunts and makes Robbe laugh. 

"Ijzermans, your mask! Stoffels, same. No sitting in front of the school. Go on, go home."

They all greet the principal and the five of them start walking.

"Where's moyo?" Ask Aaron, looking behind them.

"He left with Kato" answers Jens by slipping his hand into Lucas' hand.

Robbe simply shrugs his shoulders, passing his arm around Sander's waist. Moyo seems really distant since the beginning of the lockdown, and he doesn't really know if it has something to do with Kato or not. Does it still have something to do with the accident? Frankly, Robbe has no idea, and he doesn't want to ask himself that question now. But thinking back on that, he thinks about what Aaron said to him during the break this afternoon.

"Aaron, didn't you have a driving lesson?" 

Aaron stops walking, calls out "oh, shit" before he runs away. He comes back, hugs Sander and then Lucas, and even though it's totally against the barrier gestures, Robbe is happy that Aaron considers Lucas the same way he always did with Sander.

"I'm looking forward to Friday. Come back next Tuesday. You two !"

He runs away, throwing an "I love you guys" that makes all 4 guys laugh.

"I missed him so much." Sander says "Aaron is a breath of fresh air."

Robbe stops walking to look at him, frowning. He likes the two of them to be friends, but he doesn't like it at all when Sander says this kind of thing. He knows he has nothing to be jealous of, but he can't help it.

"What? What about me?"

Sander giggles and lowers his mask.

"You're my oxygen."

He pulls his mask off to kiss him and Robbe can't stop smiling in the kiss. Sander always knows exactly what to say to calm Robbe's silly fears.

"Shall we go somewhere for a drink?"

Robbe rolls his eyes putting their masks back on.

"Bars are closed, babe, but we can go home, my mom won't say anything. How about a beer?"

Robbe looks at Jens who looks at Lucas, apparently giving him a choice and that makes him smile. Maybe Jens was telling the truth, maybe he is different with Lucas. He seems softer, more caring. Lucas looks at Robbe and then nods, and even if he can't see, Robbe is sure he's smiling.

"Of course, with pleasure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a single chapter wasn't enough a meeting like this...now let's go to Robbe's....Tomorrow we won't see the same moments in the two fics, so it won't be too double.
> 
> but in the meantime, I look forward to hearing what you think of this chapter.


	39. I was telling him to run away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god over 300 people liked this story 😍😍😍 thank you so much 😘❤️
> 
> For those of you who are reading the 2 fics, I advise you to read this one first!

_Tuesday, December 1st 5:18 pm_

Sander takes out his key and opens the door of the house, and frankly, it makes Robbe happy. It may sound totally silly, but after five weeks here, Robbe thinks it's just great to see that Sander feels at home here. In the end, it's been their first home together, even though it's not really their home, and Robbe's mother is here, it's been the first place they've ever lived together.

"Four beers?" asks Sander, undressing, "Hi Nathalie."

Robbe looks at his mother who greets Jens with a smile.

''Hi guys ! How are you Jens? I'll get used to having you here every Tuesday. I've missed you. And...Hello.''

Jens shifts slightly, leaving room for Lucas.

''Nathalie, this is Lucas, my boyfriend.''

Lucas smiles but Robbe barely sees him, too busy watching his mother's reaction, but frankly, if she's surprised, she doesn't even let herself be seen.

''Oh. Good. So, nice to meet you, Lucas. Make yourself at home."

''Thanks, it's nice to meet you too. Hope you don't mind."

Robbe's mother shakes her head and smiles.

''No, don't worry. Actually, I have a friend who came by to see me, but the more the merrier, right?"

Robbe looks at a woman in her forties, brunette, who comes back from the bathroom with a big smile on her lips and looks at all four of them before fixing her eyes on him.

"Oh, Robbe, I'm so happy to meet you, your mother won't stop talking about you. I'm Fanny, I was your mother's nurse. And Sander, I guess."

Sander nods when he's pointed and gives a slight nudge that makes Robbe growl.

''We were drinking tea in the living room.'' says Robbe's mother ''but I suppose you were going to your room anyway?''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and signals to Sander to take the beers in the kitchen before guiding Jens and Lucas into the corridor. He opens his bedroom door and closes it again immediately. The bed is completely undone, the garland still surrounds the headboard, and above all the pair of handcuffs is placed on the bedside table.

"Yeah, it's a mess in here. Let's go to the guest room."

Robbe opens the door right in front of his and beckons them in. He smiles as removing the drawings from the bed.

"Do you have a nipple ring?"

Robbe looks at Jens who has Sander's drawing in his hands.

''Put it down, it's a job for his school, he will kill you.''

Jens looks at him and then looks at the drawing again and Lucas bends over to look at it too.

''It's really beautiful.''

Lucas blushes, pinching his lips.

''I don't mean you, but the drawing. I mean you're too, of course, but...''

Jens turns to him, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course?"

Robbe looks at them, talking just with his eyes and bursts out laughing as Sander walks through the door with the beers.

"Jens, don't damage it, he will be displayed in the school as the best interpretation of the theme _"Art and the naked body"_. It must be said that my muse is so perfect that I had to do an exceptional job."

Robbe looks at Sander amazed

''What? Why didn't you tell me? I'm so proud of you, babe."

He's kissing him while he's taking the beer out of his hand.

''So he's going to be on display at your school?'' asks Jens ''Naked? Are you okay with that, Robbe?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders, taking a sip of beer.

"He didn't really ask me, and besides, I'm not really naked. And my mom says _''The subject no longer matters at this point. Is just all the emotions that come out of the drawing.''_ So don't worry, Lucas, you have the right to say it's beautiful.'' 

Robbe takes a big smile and turns to Sander.

''Lucas thinks it's beautiful.''

Sander smiles, happy, like every time someone compliments him and looks at Lucas smiling at him.

''I don't know anything about it, but you draw really well. It's incredible."

Sander smiles as he sits on the bed, pulling Robbe to come and sit down towards him.

"Thanks. I try to do my best. And what are you studying, Lucas?"

Lucas sighs, sitting between Jens' legs, against the headboard, and Robbe sits at the end of the bed, next to Sander, bending his legs under him.

"Nothing. I was in law school, but I don't know why I did it, it's really not my thing. I just quit college and I have no idea what I want to do."

Lucas says it with a smile, but Robbe can see he looks worried, or maybe sad, so he really wants to try to make him feel comfortable.

"And what else do you like to do?" Robbe asks softly.

Lucas shrugs his shoulders.

''I love video games. I like to find the untraceable, like hidden levels, codes to make the games more attractive. I love the idea that a game that looks simple can actually have hidden solutions."

Jens gently caresses his leg, as if he wants to tell him that everything is fine, and it's clear that he looks different with Lucas. Almost protective.

''He's incredible. In Crash Bandicoot 3, he showed me two secret passages that lead to hidden levels. I'd been playing them for hours and hours, I'd never seen anything like it."

Robbe chuckles, looking up at the sky.

''Crash Bandicott? again? Oh I can't see it anymore. Jens spent a whole night playing Crash 2 when he got it. He was completely crazy. Honestly, it was the worst weekend of my life. I ended up letting Lotte braid my hair, which was better than watching that idiot get mad at his game."

Sander giggles, stroking Robbe's hair while Jens shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''Yeah, well I finished it in two days." Jens declares triumphant.

Lucas turns slightly to look at him.

''You're sure you really finished it because when you told me you finished a game, I didn't, if I remember correctly.''

Sander and Robbe giggle while Jens rolls his eyes.

''Oh yeah, I finished this game. At least ten times. I'll show you if you want."

Lucas looks at him unimpressed and then takes a big smile. And when Robbe looks at them at that very moment, he says to himself that they really seem to have a great complicity, which is crazy because they haven't known each other for a long time after all.

"So I guess you're done with levels 26 and 27?" Lucas asks with a smile.

Jens looks up to the sky.

''Nice try, there are 25 levels.''

Lucas shakes his head and Robbe smiles because Lucas looks so sure of himself. And it's nice to see that he stands up to Jens.

"To unlock level 26, you have to go back to level 15 Un-Bearable. You have to do the level normally until the bear falls into the hole a few meters from the end of the course. Then you turn around and you will see a polar bear. You climb on it and welcome to level 26.''

Jens looks at him with astonishment and then gently pulls his chin to make him look at it.

''You're kidding, right?''

Lucas shakes his head and grows up slightly to kiss him.

''If you pass this level and you're nice, I'll tell you how to get to level 27.''

Jens laughs and bends over to kiss him so Robbe turns to Sander and they smile at each other because it's clear that Lucas and Jens have completely forgotten about them.

"So.'' Sander interrupts them ''You are a geek?''

Lucas and Jens jump slightly and start laughing.

''Sorry. No, not really, I just like to play."

Sander smiles, and Robbe knows he's thinking about something, but he just drinks his beer, typing something on his phone, so Robbe looks at Lucas again.

''Can I ask you a question?''

Lucas nods with a smile, but Jens puts an arm around his chest. Robbe looks at him, frowning slightly, wondering if Jens is aware of what he is doing or not, but frankly, he gives the impression that he wants to protect Lucas when clearly Robbe means him no harm.

''Does it hurt? The tattoo in your ear?''

Jens gives him a killer look but Robbe ignores him, looking at Lucas' ear which intrangles him.

''What? I didn't know you could get a tattoo there, that's all."

Lucas takes a big smile and Jens gently kisses his ear.

''You can get a tattoo anywhere, Robbe. Really everywhere. When I did my last one, there was a girl getting a tattoo in her eye.''

Robbe grimace and Sander almost trembles next to him, and Robbe smiles because he knows he's imagining the needle in his eye, so Robbe takes his hand and brings it to his lips, without even thinking about it, just to reassure his boyfriend.

''The ear is fine. That's not where it hurt the most. The torso is the worst because there is less skin."

Robbe nods, taking a sip of beer.

''Cool. Thought I'd get one on my wrist."

Jens looks at him gawking and it makes Robbe laugh.

''What? Why can't I do it?"

Jens ignores it completely and looks at Sander.

"Are you OK with that? Are you going to do it too?"

Sander opens his eyes before shaking his head.

''Ok, so already, it'smy body, Sander has nothing to say.'' Robbe turns to look at Sander and kisses him "Sorry, baby."

Sander smiles at him and caresses his cheek.

''No, I agree, it's your decision, you do what you want.''

"And secondly, that baby is afraid of needles.'' laughs Robbe ''I think you'd have to anesthetize him to do that. But I'd like that. I think it's really pretty. ''

''It will go well with your nipple piercing,'' says Jens.

Robbe rolls eyes, hitting Sander who laughs with an elbow.

''I don't have a fucking nipple ring. It's just Sander who invented it to piss Noor off."

Jens starts laughing and Sander looks up at the sky and shakes his head.

''Nonsense. I don't want to piss Noor off. She scares me too much."

Robbe and Jens start laughing and Lucas taps Jens' leg gently.

"Who is Noor?"

Jens calms down, stroking Lucas' arm.

''Robbe's ex. She's at Sander's art school."

Lucas makes a kind of grimace, obviously not knowing what to say.

"Oh, that's not too bad, my ex girlfriend's in high school with Robbe, so we're even."

Robbe loses his smile immediately and Sander puts his arm around his shoulders and pulls him up against him.

''Hey, why are we talking about this? Who cares, right? You're the only one I care about, baby. Do you play cards, Lucas?"

Lucas nods and Sander gets up and pulls Robbe by the arm so that he follows him. They are barely in the hallway and Sander pushes him against the wall to kiss him almost wildly.

''Do you know that I love you? I love you so much."

He grabs him under his thighs and holds him, then puts him back against the wall.

''I didn't want to make you sad, you know. I love you."

Robbe chuckles, kissing Sander on the neck.

''I'm not sad, I'm fine.''

Sander kisses him again before rubbing their noses together in a big smile.

''Ok. I see what's taking you so long."

Jens passes them laughing before in the bathroom. Sander rests Robbe on the floor before going into the kitchen.

''Take some cards, I'll get the beers.''

Robbe nods with a smile and grabs a deck of cards before going to the guest room. Lucas sits on the bed with his legs crossed under him and smiles tenderly at Robbe.

''I'm really happy to get to know you, Robbe.''

Robbe smiles as he sits in front of him.

''Me too. Jens's a bit like my brother. Just don't make him suffer, please."

Lucas looks down and then smiles softly.

''I don't want to do that. He means a lot to me."

Robbe smiles, dealing the cards.

''Great. Because he looks good with you. I know you're leaving at the end of the month, but I'm sure you'll make it. I've never seen him like this."

A tap to the back of the head pushes him forward and makes him startle.

''Don't talk about me behind my back, idiot.''

Robbe pushes Jens and rolls his eyes.

''I only say terrible things, and it's all true. I was telling him to run away from your pig temper.''

Sander comes back laughing, bringing back the beers.

''I was talking to your future mother-in-law, Robbe, she's too nice.''

Jens bursts out laughing while Robbe sighs, taking two beers and giving one to Lucas.

''Nonsense! Jens, don't encourage him. Oh God, you two are idiots. Cheers, Luc!''

Lucas smiles, hitting his beer against Robbe's while Jens and Sander are still laughing like two idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want more? Go quickly read chapter 11 of my other fic (even if you haven't read it since the beginning, I advise you to go read it : https://archiveofourown.org/works/27774922/chapters/68459054).
> 
> But first tell me what you thought of this meeting?


	40. My gayradar must be broken

_Wednesday, December 2, 3:11 pm_.

Robbe takes off his helmet and goes directly to the guest room. As usual, the door is open so Robbe looks quietly at Sander who is totally captivated by his screen.

He steps back before disturbing him and goes into the kitchen to make himself a coffee before the biology class and prepare one for Sander. His mother is already in the kitchen drinking tea and Robbe prepares both coffees before leaning on the kitchen counter to watch her. 

"Mom, can we talk about Fanny?"

His mother straightens up and almost looks at him frowning.

"Yes, of course, but there's not much to talk about."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and presses the machine to make the coffee flow. 

"So that was your nurse?"

Mother nods her head and takes a sip of her tea.

"And now?'' ask robbe, "Is she just a friend?"

His mother giggles and then looks at him and starts laughing, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"I think you see too many rainbows around you, son. I'm really glad you have Sander in your life, and Jens' boyfriend seems really nice, but not everyone around you is gay. Fanny is just a friend. I'm allowed to have friends, right?"

Robbe sighs slightly, feeling really stupid for listening to his boyfriend's nonsense. 

"Yes of course, I'm very glad you made a new friend. She seems nice."

Robbe grabs the two cups of coffee but his mother stands in front of him to stop him from coming out of the kitchen.

"Actually, it really makes me feel good to have a new friend to talk to, she's really funny, but I'm still straight. Sorry about that."

Robbe can see that his mother can't stops laughing, so he quickly smiles at her, before he goes to the guest room and puts a coffee on the desk, making Sander look at him in passing.

Sander looks at him and frowns as he cuts his microphone.

"What have I done ?"

Robbe frowns a little more as he looks at him.

"Because of you and your stupid ideas I asked my mother if she was in a relationship with Fanny. And she told me that I saw too many rainbows around me and that she was sorry she was straight."

Sander starts laughing and Robbe leaves the room grumbling.

And finally he keeps this dog-like mood for the rest of the afternoon.

"Come on baby, it's no big deal. Don't tell me you're really angry. I'm sure your mother will tell Fanny and they'll laugh all night long thanks to you."

Robbe shot him with his eyes, turning to his textbook to finish his homework before dinner. 

"That not funny."

"Oh God, what a baby mood. I'm sorry if I misjudged okay? But I was sure that she had met someone. But she has, if you think about it. Maybe in a few weeks their friendship will have evolved and I'll just be a little ahead of schedule."

Robbe quickly watches Sander laughing and goes back to his homework. He listens to his mother and boyfriend talking during the whole meal, not even trying to take part in the discussion. 

"Are you ok, Robbe?"

Robbe nods as he looks at his mother and takes his vibrating cell phone out of his pocket. 

"Yeah. Sorry, it's important."

He gets up, takes his plate into the kitchen and Sander puts his hand on his arm. 

"You haven't even had dessert."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders without even looking at him. 

"I'm not hungry anymore."

Sander sighs, and Robbe is sure that he hears him call him "baby.'' Not baby the affectionate little nickname, but more like a temperamental brat.

Robbe picks up the phone and immediately smiles when he sees Milan's smile.

"Finally! We haven't been able to speak properly for at least 2 weeks. I thought I raised you better than that."

Robbe smiles a little more and slightly push the door of his room but without closing it before sitting on the bed.

"Sorry, since school started again it's been a bit crazy."

Milan smiles while rolling his eyes.

"Sander found the time to bring me a beautiful multicolored scarf. Frankly it is too soft, I love it."

Robbe smiles and Milan moves a little closer to the screen to look at it.

"How are you two doing? Living together is not too difficult? Are you all right?"

Robbe shakes his head and smiles. Even though tonight he's a bit angry with Sander, living with him is really great.

"Yeah, we're doing great. Don't worry about us."

Milan laughs as he runs a hand through his hair.

"Since I can see my present right next to you I don't worry at all. I hope you enjoyed it."

Robbe widens his eyes a little when he notices the pair of handcuffs visible on the screen and his cheeks turn red immediately, even though he knows he's been through worse than that on his way to the sex shop with Milan.

"Yeah, we appreciate that. Thank you."

Robbe runs one hand through his hair, turning the screen slightly so that the bedside table no longer appears. 

"And then?" ask Milan "I guess if you called me earlier it was to ask me something?"

"As if I couldn't call you just to check up on you." Robbe takes offense with a smile. 

Milan laughs and looks up to the sky.

"Come on, ask me your question, I can see it's burning your lips. Don't worry, I'm always very proud to be your personal guru."

"Exactly." says Robbe softly "Would you agree to be someone else's guru?"

Milan frowns and shrugs his shoulders.

"I'm going to need you to tell me more Robbe, because I know you're not talking about Sander. If he had a question he would have asked me already."

Robbe immediately frowns. 

"Has Sander ever asked you questions?"

"No, but I already know that if he wanted to, he wouldn't go through you for that. He will call me directly. So? Who are we talking about?"

Robbe takes a slight breath, wondering if he has the right to come out in his place, but decides, as he did earlier when he tried to call Milan before eating, that this is the best way to help his best friend.

"Actually it's Jens, he has a boyfriend."

Milan widens his eyes as he stands up in his chair.

"No? Really?"

Robbe nods and Milan starts laughing.

"Shit, my gayradar must be broken because I didn't see it coming at all."

Robbe bursts out laughing in turn.

"Don't worry, I think he didn't see it coming himself."

Milan nods and becomes serious again almost in a flash.

"And so? Do I know his boyfriend?"

Robbe shakes his head, regaining his composure as well.

"No, but actually I'd like you to call Jens to see if he has any questions about sex with a guy. Like offering to see him and explaining everything you explained to me."

"You're talking about that conversation where you ended up crawfish red face and then you didn't look me in the eye for at least a week?''

Robbe smiles and nods.

''Yeah.''

Milan frowns as he leans over to the screen and Robbe is already going to ask him why he doesn't do it himself.

"Why don't you tell him about it? You're in a good position to know how it's going, now."

Robbe sighs, feeling his cheeks take colors.

"You know me, I'm frankly not comfortable enough to talk about this with anyone other than Sander. You at the limit, it passes, but I don't feel like explaining to Jens how he should prepare himself or prepare Lucas. But at the same time I don't want things to go wrong between him and Lucas. Please."

Milan smiles and Robbe knows he will accept.

"Okay, I'll do it, but if you say so."

Robbe rolls his eyes with a smile.

"You're the best guru a guy could ever have."

Milan applauds, happy, and Zoe's voice echoes behind, calling for food. The next moment after Milan is in the kitchen surrounded by Zoé and Senne who greets Robbe before cutting off the conversation so they can eat.

Robbe looks at the time and tells himself that he's going to fetch Sander who must be sulking in the kitchen, thinking that Robbe has a shitty temper, but finally the pretty brown guy's head comes through the door.

"Can I come in or are you still grumpy?"

Robbe grunts immediately and gets up from bed to undress.

"I'm not grumpy, I'm tired so I'm going to bed. Will you come in?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders but undresses and less than 5 minutes later they are both lying in bed, next to each other. Robbe turns off the light with a sigh.

"Good night."

"Good night."

Robbe grunts again. he hates it when Sander doesn't say _good night baby_. He's so tense that he knows he won't be able to fall asleep right away but he's too stubborn to ask for a hug. So Robbe spends the next ten minutes blaming himself for his shitty temper, not even remembering why he's angry with Sander.

Sander's foot touches his leg and Robbe wonders if it was done on purpose, until she touches it a second time, at the same time as Sander's little finger connects to his.

Robbe smiles and gently caresses his boyfriend's hand with his, letting his foot caress Sander's calf.

He turns his head towards him and Sander smiles tenderly at him, but seems to be really too far away. So Robbe turns to the side and gently strokes his cheek with his fingertips.

Sander turns to the side as well, passing one leg around Robbe's to force him to come a little closer until their hips touch. 

Robbe's hand slips from Sander's cheek to his back and he gently caresses him while bringing his face closer so he can kiss him.

Sander kisses him gently before hugging him, pecking his neck with kisses, making Robbe's bad mood evaporate completely.

''I thought you were tired.''

Robbe shakes his head, peppering Sander's shoulder with kisses.

"Never for a hug."

Sander slides his hand against Robbe's belly, until he goes down into his boxer but Robbe takes it off slowly.

"Wait, I just want a hug."

Sander smiles and hugs him, surrounding him with his whole body.

''I love you, Robin.''

Robbe almost moans, making a satisfying sound.

"Robbe, you know we weren't really mad, right?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and Sander tenderly kisses him on the top of his jaw.

"Oh my drama queen, I love you so much."

Sander gently caresses his upper back and gently kisses him all over his face.

"Sleep my baby, I've got you."

Robbe closes his eyes against Sander's chest and falls asleep listening to the most beautiful music in the world: the heartbeat of the man he loves.


	41. The night wasn't great

_Thursday, December 3rd 6:25am_

Robbe opens his eyes by yawning and is startled when Sander's hand caresses his cheek. 

"Sleep well baby?"

Robbe nods, stroking Sander's hand on his cheek.

"Really well. But what are you doing awake already?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders before approaching to kiss him.

"Just like you, I guess. We went to bed really early last night."

Robbe pouting and comes closer to Sander to hug him.

"Sorry about last night, I was really tired. I didn't sleep very well the night before."

Sander gently caresses his back, rubbing his nose against hers.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and sighs. 

"I was thinking about Jens and Lucas. I can't stop thinking about how sad Jens will be after Lucas' departure. He acts like he's okay with it, but I know he's going to be sad and it's going to hurt him and I don't understand why Lucas doesn't stay. But I don't know Lucas well enough to talk to him about it clearly."

Sander shakes his head and gently caresses Robbe's arm.

"It's none of your business, baby. Maybe Jens is going through this better than you think. Some couples live like that and it's going very well for them."

"I know, but they look so good together. I just don't want to see him get hurt."

Sander smiles before kissing him tenderly.

"I know, baby. You're the best friend we could ever have. But you can't handle this for him. You'll just have to be there for him if he doesn't handle it right. And maybe he will. Just because you couldn't do it doesn't mean it can't work out for them."

Robbe sighs and nods.

"Yeah. Maybe you're right. Clearly, I couldn't do it. I could never live away from you again."

Sander smiles a little more, making a satisfied sound.

"I couldn't either, but if we don't find an apartment when the lockdown is lifted, I'll have to go back to my parents."

Robbe widens his eyes and immediately presses Sander against him. 

"What? No! No, babe. I'm sorry I was so grumpy last night, but don't go away."

Sander moves slightly, probably trying to find a comfortable position despite the fact that his boyfriend is holding him really tight.

"I didn't say I wanted to leave, I'm just saying that the lockdown is getting less and less strict and I think I should go home before we find a place together."

Robbe shakes his head, can't stop his chin from shaking at the thought of no longer sleeping with Sander, no longer waking up next to him, no longer eating breakfast with him, no longer seeing his smile when he comes home from class. No, it's just unthinkable to imagine living without him again.

"I don't care. I would never let you leave without me. I'll go with you to your parents' house if I have to."

Sander starts giggling and Robbe loosens his grip a bit.

"You wouldn't last two days in this mess."

Robbie shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

"I don't care. They're not that hard to live with, it's just different than I've ever known, that's all."

Sander sighs with a smile.

"My parents are totally politically incorrect and make you uncomfortable all the time, even without meaning to. And I won't even talk about the two little monsters who spend all their time coming and bothering us as soon as we're in my room. I know it's hard for you to live in a house with so many people. I know you love them but you're not comfortable living with them, and I understand that. If it wasn't my family I don't think I would be comfortable either."

Robbe starts laughing, thinking about all the times he was uncomfortable with Sander's parents.

"I really don't see why you're saying that." Robbe laughs, "Do you think it's because your dad thinks it's a good idea to go to the bathroom while I'm in the shower, or because your sisters think it's funny to tell you that they heard us making love in the middle of the breakfast, or because your mother walks around the house in her underwear without any problems? Yeah you're right, we'll stay here, it's quieter."

Sander starts laughing then he kisses him.

"Yeah, they're awful, sorry."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders, hugging Sander again.

"I'll come to your house without hesitation so I won't be separated from you. Now that I've got a taste for it, I need my daily dose of Sander. Figuratively as well as literally."

Sander smiles, moving his hips slightly.

"Oh yeah?"

Robbe gently pushes him so that Sander lies on his back and gently kisses his chest before going down, leaving a few kisses on his boxer. Sander moves his hips, obviously wanting more, but Robbe just kisses him on his thighs before going up to his belly button.

"Oh baby." Whispers Sander in an almost imploring tone.

Robbe takes off Sander's boxer and kisses him again on his inner thighs, grazing his dick without touching it. 

"Robbe..."

Robbe hums in response, putting a few kisses right next to Sander's cock that moves more and more, getting impatient, passing a hand through Robbe's hair.

"Fuck, Robbe, suck me, please ."

Robbe smiles and grabs Sander's cock with his lips so that he can suck it gently, immediately provoking a satisfied moan from his boyfriend.

"Finally...oh fuck, you're so good."

Sander comes into his mouth in less than five minutes and Robbe comes up to him to kiss him, a big proud smile on his face.

"Oh fuck, yeah. I'll never be able to do without that again. How could I go without this every morning?"

Robbe laughs as he kisses his boyfriend again.

"You ain't gonna get this every morning, babe."

Sander rolls his eyes, stroking his cheek.

"I'm talking about your smile, baby."

Robbe smiles a little more and Sander slips his hand into his boxer and takes it off almost immediately.

"Yeah, your smile does that to me too. Okay, dibs in the shower."

Robbe gets out of bed and then out of the bedroom, too happy to take off his sticky boxers before taking a shower. When he comes back into the bedroom to get dressed, Sander is lying on the bed, like a starfish.

He sighs and gets up grumbling that he can't wait to be on vacation and Robbe kisses him before he leaves the bedroom. 

Robbe gets dressed and goes to the kitchen. He has just enough time to make two coffees that his phone starts ringing, making him jump because nobody calls him before 8 o'clock usually. 

And he starts to panic as soon as he sees that it's Tobias. Tobias is the kind of guy who gets up at 7:50 a.m. to go to class at 8:00 a.m. He never gets up before 11:00 on the weekend, much to the dismay of his parents.

"Hi?"

"Robbe? I hope I didn't wake you up?"

"No, it's okay, don't worry. I'm the one who's surprised that you're up already."

Normally Tobias would have laughed or chuckled at a thought like that, but now he's just being serious, which is not like him at all.

"Yeah, the night wasn't great. Is Sander okay?"

Robbe looks at the hallway, even though Sander is still in the shower and nods.

"Uh yes, why?"

Tobias seems to hesitate and then sighs.

"I know that a stressful situation doesn't necessarily trigger an episode, but if he's on a slippery slope I'd rather not make it worse for him."

Robbe shakes his head but frowns because now it's clear that something is going on in Tobias is afraid to talk to his brother.

"No, he's fine. Do you want me to go get him?"

Tobias shakes his head and moves closer to the phone.

"No, I'd rather it be you who tells him calmly. Dad went to the hospital last night because of difficulty breathing. He's positive for Covid. Mom and the girls too."

Robbe sits down, feeling as though he has no strength in his legs. This is the first time there is a case around him. And he already knows that Sander will be really worried about his parents and little sisters.

"How is your father doing? Do your mother and the twins have any symptoms?"

Tobias sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"We haven't heard from Dad yet. Mom says as long as the hospital doesn't call, he's alive. But don't tell Sander that, ok? Tell him the twins are in great shape. Mom says she has muscle aches, but she's fine. But you know her, she won't complain. Don't let Sander go there. No excuses. With his medication he mustn't catch it. I've looked around, there are no studies that really show what Covid does for patients on lithium."

Robe nods his head and tries to smile.

"I know. Some say it protects, others say it makes it worse. His therapist says he shouldn't take any risks, because we don't have the necessary hindsight, but he shouldn't stop his treatment."

The light comes on in the hallway and Sander appears, a big smile on his face, light years away from suspecting that something is going on with his family. And that smile almost hurts to see because Robbe knows it will fade away as soon as he tells him what's going on, replaced by anxiety and fear.

"Okay, he's here, we call you back? Keep us posted."

The call ends and Robbe turns to Sander who has already lost his smile and frowns as he looks at him.

"Who was that?"

Robbe joins him in two strides and takes him in his arms, holding him close to him just a minute before speaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole pandemic thing sometimes seems a bit far away...and then when it hits your family in the heart, when it sends your father, mother, sister, brother, aunt or oncle, who were in great shape to intensive care unit, you realize how serious the situation is. I hope you don't experience that in your families. Don't forget to stay safe! We do it for ourselves, but for everyone else as well.


	42. Never Have I Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, 
> 
> if you read ''Because of my neighbor,'' maybe you'll read the chapter that appeared today before because it happens before this evening, chronologically speaking, but it's up to you...
> 
> I reserve you a little surprise here and I hope you will like it !!!

_Friday 4 December, 8:22 pm_

Robbe logs in, and his friends' faces appear immediately. Moyo is dancing, apparently, while Aaron is eating something, and on the left side of the screen, Jens and Lucas are smiling, obviously sitting on a bed, which must be Lucas' because it is not Jens' room.

''Ah finally! No kidding guys, what were you doing? We said 8 pm."

Robbe and Sander sit on the bed, putting the computer in front of them, completely exhausted.

''We had a setback here. Sander's family at the Covid and we had to deal with some family emergencies.''

Sander sighs and Robbe gently strokes his arm before taking his hand to his lips.

''Hey, it's all right, babe. We're gonna make it, okay?"

''Shit.'' Aaron asks, ''Are they okay?''

Sander shrugs his shoulders and all Robbe's friends frown, unaccustomed to seeing him sad like this.

"My dad is in intensive care, my mother is bedridden, but my little sisters are fine. My older sister has decided to come home to take care of my mother and the girls because they are only 12 years old."

''How many brothers and sisters do you have?'' asks Moyo ''I thought you were an only child.''

''He has three sisters and a brother who lives in Paris.'' answers Aaron, visibly proud to know.

''Is there anything we can do to help?'' asks Jens.

Sander shakes his head, sad and Robbe knows he feels helpless. The hospital hasn't given any news since yesterday, and the news wasn't really good, as Sander's father has lost a lot of breathing capacity and is hooked up to a machine to help him breathe."

"Thank you guys," Sander says softly, "but there's nothing we can do. We just have to"

A high-pitched scream echoed, startled them both and their four friends on the screen.

''What the hell was that?''

Robbe gets up immediately, signaling to Sander that he is taking care of it, but Sander, stubborn as he is, starts to get up too.

''I got it, babe. You're not alone, Ok? I manage''

Sander nods with a sigh and sits down on the bed, looking at the screen before he sighs again. Robbe rushes into the bedroom in front of his but he has no idea what to do...so he picks him up and takes him back to his bedroom. 

''Is that how you manage?'' asks Sander with a smile.

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and sits down next to him, while Sander immediately puts an arm around his shoulders.

''Oh damn it!'' shouts Aaron ''What the hell is that?"

''Oh guys, where did he come from?'' asks Moyo.

Jens and Lucas say nothing but their wide-eyed eyes speak for them.

''Stop shouting.'' Robbe orders, ''You're scaring him. It's a baby, idiots.''

Aaron is finally silent and Robbe turns him slightly towards the screen, sitting him on his lap.

"Look Willem, they're friends of your uncles."

''Oh, man, he didn't say daddies.'' Aaron says, ''Where did you get a baby?''

Sander and Robbe start laughing as they watch Willem sitting on Robbe's lap. Sander gently strokes his hair before looking at their friends with a sigh.

''He's my nephew. Since my sister has decided to return home to help my mother, I'm in charge of taking care of him. At last us. She wanted us to go to her house, but since we don't know how long he's going to stay with us, we preferred to stay here so that Robbe's mom could help us a little, especially during daytime classes. He was born early so he must not risk catching the Covid, just like me. We're the pestiferates of the family, eh Will? Too fragile for this universe.''

The little boy starts to smile as he looks at the screen and Robbe sighs.

"Yeah, I don't think he's actually tired at all. Do you think the screens are good for him? It's not going to hurt his eyes."

Sander shrugs his shoulders and sighs.

''I don't know. That's not going to kill him. He won't be blind for one evening. Well, what were you talking about?"

"I was suggesting we play." Aaron says smiling.

Sander and Robbe look at each other and smile.

''Yeah! A little bit of normalcy please. OK, let's play. At what?"

Jens smiles tenderly and Robbe knows that he is looking at him, asking him if everything is all right, so he smiles back, nodding gently.

''Truth or dare'' says Moyo ''I'll start. Sander."

Sander smiles.

''Dare.''

Moyo thinks and then smiles.

''Read us the last text message you sent?''

Jens and Aaron start telling him he's dumb, and Moyo takes two seconds before he understands.

''Oh crap, I didn't think it would be to check in on your parents. Shit, sorry. Let me get another one."

''No.'' Sander stops him. ''That's not the case. Okay, it was _''I'm really glad you enjoyed it and liked it.''"_

Moyo, Aaron and Jens start laughing and Robbe rolls his eyes.

''That wasn't mine, you idiots!''

The guys calm down immediately and Moyo signals to Sander to talk.

''The recipient is part of the message, so...''

Sander smiles with a raised eyebrow and then makes a slight head movement.

''That for Lucas. Sorry I didn't answer afterwards, Lucas, my sister arrived with this little monster and it became crazy here.''

Moyo and Aaron start whistling really annoying ''woohoo...'' while Jens just smiles and Sander shakes his head.

''It's not at all what you think it was.''

''Shhh!'' Moyo cut him off ''we're playing here. Ok Lucas, Truth or Dare?"

''Hey, that's not how we play.'' Robbe cut him off.

Lucas starts laughing and takes out his phone.

''I answered it. _It was great, Robbe is really lucky, he was right, sex with you is unbelievable. I hope the foursome will be as good as this afternoon with you, but if not, we can just keep seeing each other from time to time, just the two of us. I can't wait to test everything you taught me with Jens.''_

When Lucas is silent, the only sound we can hear is that of Willem sucking his fingers. Moyo and Aaron are always gawking and Lucas is the first to burst out laughing, immediately followed by the other three guys.

"Oh, my God!" Aaron moans, "Oh, my God, isn't that true?"

''Of course it isn't true.'' answers Robbe, putting an arm around Sander's waist to pull him towards himself. ''I'm not sharing, he's mine.''

Willem takes the opportunity to lie down, half falling on Sander's lap and Robbe looks at him smiling.

''Ok, I'm sharing with you, but that's it.''

Sander starts laughing before he kisses Robbe's cheek and looks at Moyo, who is always staring at the screen.

''Moyo, are you alright?''

He nods his head, still looking puzzled.

''Yeah, but don't ever scare me like that again. So you've been playing us from the beginning?"

Sander shakes his head and smiles.

''No, I really read the message to Lucas. He's the one who makes his dreams come true."

Lucas and Jens show their middle fingers at the same time and Robbe bursts out laughing.

''Sorry guys.'' said Lucas smiling ''It was too tempting. In fact, Sander put me in touch with a friend of his who is a designer for a video game development company and he took me there this afternoon. It was really cool, we had a good feeling. They gave me a game to try and I'm going back there on the 28th to give them my report. Since I'm out of university, it's going to keep me busy, it's cool. So thank you Sander!"

Lucas raises a beer but Aaron shouts to stop him before he drinks.

"Why don't we play _Never Have I Ever_ ?"

''Yeah!'' Moyo says with a big smile, ''Everybody got drinks planned?''

Robbe gently push Willem so that he is completely on Sander' knees and goes to the kitchen to get some drinks. He brings back the pack of non-alcoholic beers he bought while shopping earlier. As long as Willem is there, there's no way he's drunk.

"We have!'' says Robbe and gives a beer to Sander 'Lucas, do the honours."

"OK... I never lied about my age."

Sander, Moyo and Jens raise their glasses with a smile.

''I was never afraid of the dark.'' says Jens.

Robbe and Lucas take a sip with a smile.

''I've never cried to obtain anything.'' says Moyo.

They all drink, except Moyo who starts laughing, calling them comedians.

''I've never had a piercing.'' says Aaron. ''Earrings count."

Robbe, Jens and Lucas take a sip of the drink and Jens looks at Lucas frowning.

''You don't have a piercing.''

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''Maybe I had one but I took it out because unlike my tattoos it was a very bad idea.''

''Where was it?'' asks Aaron.

Lucas seems hesitant.

''I was drunk and high when I did it. I don't even know why I did it. I only kept it for a few days, and then it got infected."

''Where was it?'' asks Aaron again.

Lucas looks down on his crotch and Robbe starts laughing at Aaron's shocked face, and at Jens.

''No? No kidding? Did you get your dick pierced?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders, visibly embarrassed.

''I must have thought that was the most painful place to get it done."

''Okay, my turn.'' Robbe says, wanting to put an end to Lucas' embarrassment ''I've never tried to cup my hair alone.''

Sander, Aaron and Jens drink laughing.

''Come on, it brings back memories.'' Aaron says by touching his hair ''It was funny.''

''I've never lied in this game.'' Sander says.

Nobody drinks and Sander nods with a big smile.

"Good. I wanted to make sure."

Lucas thinks and then starts to smile.

''I have never dyed my hair.''

Sander raises his beer, triumphant, toasting ''For Bowie!'' before drinking, which makes everyone laugh. Jens pulls out his phone and Robbe is sure that he shows him a picture of Sander with white hair.

"I've never caught my parents having sex," Jens says.

Sander takes a sip of beer and laughs.

''No? Really?"

Sander nods his head and then starts laughing and elbows Robbe.

"You should drink too, Robin."

Robbe shakes his head and laughs.

"They are your parents, not mine."

Aaron stops laughing to get closer to the screen.

''Did you surprise Sander's parents?''

Robbe sighs as he thinks back on that terribly embarrassing moment and nods.

''Ok, you drink.'' says Jens.

Robbe drinks while looking up at the sky. 

"Okay. To me." says Moyo "I never knew my father."

Everyone drinks with a sigh and Moyo frown.

''Jens? I thought he was Lotte's father."

Jens shakes his head and smiles.

''It's my father, okay? Genetics don't matter."

Lucas kisses him on the cheek and Moyo rolls his eyes.

''If you want. Come on, Aaron."

''I never imagined I'd ever propose to someone.''

They all look at him in amazement, and Aaron starts laughing.

''I'd wait for someone to propose, I hope it will be Amber. I don't see why it's always up to the guys to do it. What do you think? No one?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders and grabs his beer and Robbe follows him. Sander looks at him with a raised eyebrow and Robbe pushes him slightly by rolling his eyes.

"Shut up."

Sander readjusts Willem's position and he starts to close his eyes with a smile.

"I didn't say anything. But, do I have the right to know if it was me?"

Robbe rolls his eyes while smiling.

''Who would you want it to be? Okay. I've never flown before."

All the other guys take a drink, calling Robbe "too nice," "baby," and "fearful."

''He's just too cute.'' Sander says while kissing him. ''Ok, I never told a secret that I should have kept to myself.''

Robbe loses his smile immediately and drinks as he watches Lucas, Jens and Moyo do it too.

"Aaron, you can drink, you never keep secrets." Moyo laughs.

Aaron shrugs his shoulders and takes a shot of green liquid.

''If you say so."

Lucas thinks and then smiles.

''I've never having sex with a girl.''

Moyo, Aaron, Jens and Sander drink while Robbe just shrugs his shoulders.

''OK, it's getting really hot then!'' says Moyo ''Go for Jens.''

Jens smiles as he looks at Lucas and then shrugs his shoulders, reflecting. And then suddenly, he takes a huge smile.  
  
''I've never been tied to the bed.''

Moyo and Aaron start laughing and stop when they see Sander and Robbe drinking.

''Oh? No?'' whistles Aaron.

"What?" asks Sander. "That's pretty cool. You should try it, buddy."

Aaron smiles and raises his shot glass filled with blue liquid.

''I've never sucked a dick before.''

Robbe looks at Willem who has fallen asleep on Sander's lap before drinking. Lucas joins them and all eyes turn to Jens who sighs.

''Jens? Something to say?'' asks Moyo and laughs "You're getting late now."

Jens shows him his middle finger by shaking his head and Lucas gently caresses his thigh, whispering something to him.

''Go ahead, Moyo.'' grumbles Jens.

Moyo hesitates then nods.

''I've never done it without a condom.''

Sander, Robbe and Aaron drink with a kind of proud smile on their face while Jens drinks quickly, almost embarrassed.

''Ok, you drink, suckers.'' says Robbe ''I've never had sex without love.''

Moyo drinks, joined by Sander shrugging his shoulders.

''Didn't you like Britt then?'' asks Aaron.

Sander almost chokes on his beer and spits it on Willem, who is startled but fortunately doesn't wake up. Robbe gently passes his hands under the little boy and holds him up against him.

''I'm going to put him to bed, babe. Why don't you answer Aaron?"

''I wasn't thinking about Britt. A girl in a bar one night."

Robbe turns around before leaving the bedroom to see Sander shrugging his shoulders, showing how far away it is. And it's true, it's far away. Robbe puts a little kiss on Willem's forehead and then gently puts him down in his folding bed and joins Sander, almost jumping on the bed to land next to him.

''Drink, baby. I took your turn. And you can drink.''

Robbe rolls his eyes before looking at Sander.

"What did you say?"

Sander raises his eyebrows laughing.

"That I never went to school without underwear."

Robbe drinks reluctantly, hearing the surprised shouts of his friends.

"No? Like, really? You didn't have anything under your pants?"

Robbe sighs, elbowing Sander.

''That's a fucking low blow, Sander.'' He turns towards the screen, shrugging his shoulders. ''I had lost a bet with Sander. That was once."

"Twice."

Robbe sighs.

"Twice. Ok, my turn. Sander, you can drink. I have never broken any bones.''

Sander rolls his eyes and drinks, together with Lucas and Aaron.

''I've never tried to hack a friend's instagram account.'' says Lucas.

All the guys raise their glasses and drink with a big smile on their face.

''Long live the friendship,'' says Jens ''Okay. I've never said _I love you_ without thinking it."

Lucas drinks, obviously reluctantly, as do Robbe and Moyo.

''I never hid any weed in my room,'' says Aaron. 

All the guys drink while rolling their eyes. If Aaron never had to deal with the weed, it's just because he would have lost it.

"I've never kissed a guy." Moyo said, raising a eyebrows.

They all take a drink and Robbe almost chokes as he watches Aaron drink.

''What? Who? When? Where? How?"

They all start laughing, and Aaron shrugs his shoulders.

''You'd like to know, right? Maybe seeing all my friends going out with guys makes me want to try..."

''Really?'' asks Moyo ''Did you really kiss a guy?"

''Yeah'' Aaron says, smiling, ''As I remember it, it was kind of nice.''

Aaron waits two seconds and then takes a big smile.

''His name was Pierre. It was my first kiss actually. My first crush. We were five years old."

They all burst out laughing at the same time, calling him an idiot and Robbe hugs Sander, just because he feels like it. Sander immediately puts an arm around his shoulders and kisses him on his hair. Robbe closes his eyes for just two seconds, barely listening to Aaron talking about that famous first kiss and how they used to hide under the school table to kiss.

Robbe opens his eyes again when Sander bursts out laughing. Their friends make faces and Robbe bursts out laughing in turn when Moyo shows that he's in his underpants, imitating Aaron's memorable fall, for Lucas and Sander who missed it. 

So yes, maybe tomorrow will be a difficult day, but for now, they can try to have a semblance of normalcy with their friends, and most of all Robbe knows that if they need help, their friends will be there for them, and that's really a powerful feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist seeing Sobbe take care of a baby...


	43. It's so disgusting.

_Saturday, December 5th 6:11 am_

Robbe moves slightly without opening his eyes, just trying to get his hair out of the way which must be stuck under Sander's arm. But as he shifts slightly, his hair is pulled out even more and Robbe opens his eyes. He's startled when he realizes that he's face to face with Willem pulling his hair. He stands up to look at Sander who is still sleeping, one arm resting on the baby as if to prevent him from moving. 

Robbe smiles and the little boy pulls his hair just a little harder so he can put it in his mouth. Robbe pulls out his strand of drooling hair with a grin and the little boy pouting, looking ready to cry.

"Hey! Sorry, but that's disgusting." Robbe whispers "You want to eat?"

Willem looks at him and Robbe chuckles, feeling like an idiot, as if a six-month-old baby is going to answer him. The little one tries to turn around to grab Sander's hair and Robbe takes him in his arms before getting out of bed.

''No, let your uncle sleep. Come on, we'll manage."

Robbe grabs a T-shirt and jogging pants before he goes to the guest room. He puts Willem in the middle of the bed and quickly gets dressed before taking him back in his arms.

"So? Did Sander bring you back to our bed this night? Do you know that your mom will say that we're making you a spoiled baby? You didn't feel like sleeping alone? I understand you, I don't like it either."

Willem smiles, drooling like a snail and starts crying when Robbe puts him in the baby chair that Lara took yesterday.

"Shhh!'' says Robbe softly, ''You'll wake up everyone! Let me prepare your bottle."

The little one cries louder and louder so Robbe take him back into his arms, holding him against him while pulling out the instruction sheet left by Lara.

''Your mom wrote that you had to eat around 7:30, but who cares, right? _Put 210ml of water in the bottle._ Okay, that, it's easy."

Robbe grabs a bottle, fills it with water in one hand, keeping Willem pulling his hair in the other.

''You've got a real problem with hair, buddy. I'm sure you're the reason Sander cut it short."

Robbe grabs the can of powdered milk left on the worktop last night and fills the measuring spoons so he can put them in the bottle. Willem pulls his hair tighter, so Robbe tips half of the powder pod next to it and puts the little boy on the worktop.

"If you want to eat, you have to stop moving, look, I've put it everywhere."

Willem looks at his bottle and starts crying as he tries to grab it so Robbe hurries to finish filling it before aiming at the teat and shaking it. He settles down in the sofa and realizes that he forgot to take a bib, but Willem has already managed to catch the bottle, guiding the teat into his mouth and Robbe doesn't feel able to take it away from him. He just has to hope that the bib part was optional.

At first, Willem drinks so fast that Robbe wonders how he can breathe, and then he calms down, sucking more gently and Robbe looks at him with a smile on his face. He takes his phone out of his pocket and takes a picture to send to Lara, thinking it will probably make him happy.

It's only after he sends it that he hopes it won't wake her up, then he smiles because he gets an answer almost immediately.

_Lara 6:37 am_

_Oh my baby, I miss him so much._   
_Thanks Robbe._   
_How was the night?_

Robbe smiles, trying to hold the baby in one arm to type with the other hand.

_To Lara 6:41 a.m._

_No idea._   
_He fell asleep at 8:40 p.m. I think._   
_I found him in our bed at 6 o'clock._   
_But I didn't hear anything. Sorry._   
_Maybe he came by himself._

_Lara 6:44 am_

_😆😆😆_   
_Sander is worse than a father hen!_   
_I was sure he would make him sleep with you._

_Robbe looks at Willem who now closes his eyes, sucking really softly, and fortunately because he has almost finished his bottle and then reads the last message again._

_To Lara 6h49_

_Is that a bad thing?_   
_I think he didn't want to let him cry._

_Lara 6:50 a.m._

_no, not at all!_   
_Well yes, in theory._   
_I'll probably have a hard time getting him to sleep in his bed again._   
_But I like to know that you take care of him, even if it means sleeping with him if he needs it._   
_I hope that suits you, Robbe. I'm sorry I imposed him.  
_

_To Lara 6:53 am_

_Don't worry, that's what family are for._   
_How are things at home?_

_Lara 6:54 am_

_Mom coughed all night long._   
_She hasn't eaten since yesterday morning._   
_The two girls are awfully calm._   
_I swear, it's almost scary._   
_No news from Dad._   
_I'll call the hospital at 9 o'clock._

Willem's bottle is making a noise of air so Robbe is slowly taking it away from him. The little boy immediately reopens his eyes and Robbe straightens him by shrugging his shoulders.

''And yes, it's over, buddy.''

The little boy is fidgeting and Robbe gently caresses his cheek.

''Hey, you'll have another one at noon."

Robbe takes him to put him against him and the little one lets off a huge burp in front of his face.

''Oh that stinks. But why are babies so disgusting?"

Willem laughs and spits a big milky splash on Robbe's shirt. And the only thing Robbe can think about is that it's hot, it stinks and he wants to throw up now. But how can such a small baby throw up so much? Robbe takes off his shirt with one arm, holding Willem who looks totally relieved with the other.

''5 kids? Tell me how your grandma did it? It's just not possible."

Robbe picks him up, patting him gently on the back, hoping he won't throw up on him, but he just feels Willem's head resting on his shoulder, and when he checks a few minutes later, the little boy has fallen asleep.

Robbe sighs, being already exhausted when it's not 7:00 in the morning and the flash of a picture surprises him. Robbe turns around to find Sander looking at them smiling.

"He threw up on me." Robbe moans, "It's so disgusting."

Sander joins them, then bends over to kiss Robbe.

''Yeah, he does that a lot. But you're so cute with a baby in your arms. Do you want to go get dressed?"

Robbe looks at the sleeping baby on his shoulder and shakes his head while opening the other arm.

"I just want a hug."

Sander grabs the abandoned polar blanket at the end of the sofa and puts it on Robbe before settling down against him, lifting a corner of the blanket just to get under him too, placing his legs on Robbe's thighs, resting his head against his shoulder.

''You should have woken me up, Robbe. It's not up to you to handle it, you don't have to"

''Hey, I thought you wanted us to be from the same family? Then it's my family as much as yours, right?"

Sander looks up at him and his smile is worth a baby throwing up on him.

''I love you so much, Robbe. You have no idea how much."

Robbe smiles and bends over to kiss him.

''I imagine it all too well, I love you exactly the same. I'd put up with anything for you, and it's not a drooling, puking baby that's going to take me away from you. Your family is important to me so don't shut me out. We manage Willem together, okay? You helped me with my mom, that's exactly the same thing."

Sander nods, kisses Robbe and moves up against him, holding the blanket even tighter.

"I'm so scared."

Sander's voice is just a sad whisper so Robbe gently kisses his hair, while caressing his arm.

''I know. Lara is going to call hospital for news. We're doing everything we can, okay? The doctors are taking care of your dad, Lara is taking care of your mom, we're taking care of Willem, and in a few years, we'll be laughing at family dinners about how hard it was to take care of him. Your father will say that he really wanted to see this and Willem will say that he was traumatized. Look, he looks so traumatized."

Sander raises his head and smiles as he looks at Willem, who is sleeping peacefully, with a sliver of drool on his cheek.

''Thanks, Robbe, you are unbelievable.''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and looks at the sleeping boy and then at Sander.

''I'm here for you, that's all.''

Robbe holds Sander tight and he falls back to sleep without even realizing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two uncles who manage a baby as best they can...I love it! I hope you do too.


	44. I'll be there for you.

_Saturday, December 5th 9:03 am_

Robbe wakes up with a start when he feels Willem's weight coming off of him, and he tries to catch up with him, shouting almost at the same time.

''My baby.''

His mother, who apparently was trying to take the baby, looks at him and laughs at the same time as Sander, who was awakened by Robbe's gesture. Sander looks at him but Robbe rolls his eyes, trying to control the crazy beating of his heart, always distraught at the thought that he had dropped the little boy.

''I don't know if it's cute, or if it's scary.'' laughs Sander ''You know we're going to have to give him back, right?''

Robbe rolls his eyes, hugging Willem as he wakes up next to him.

"Shut up."

Robbe's mother holds out her hands and gently takes the little boy.

"But why are you naked, Robbe? Skin to skin is mostly for newborn babies, you know?"

Robbe rolls his eyes as he points to his t-shirt being tossed in a ball in the corner of the living room.

"He threw up on my shirt."

His mother starts laughing and then frowns.

''I'm going to go change him, his diaper looks huge. And next time, try not to sleep with him in your arms, imagine if you had dropped him."

''I think his paternal instinct woke up the moment he thought he lost him.'' Sander remarks with a smile. ''But last night when he cried, you snored like a locomotive.''

Robbe gently pushes him, laughing, watching his mother taking Willem down the hallway with her.

''I don't snore, silly.''

Sander gently pushes him to lie on the couch and sits on him before tickling him.

''You snored so much that Willem stopped crying and listened to you. It was your snoring that put him to sleep."

Robbe laughs because Sander tickles him. He twists and turns, but Sander doesn't even seem to notice it and stays on top of him.

''I don't snore.''

Sander tickles him more and more and Robbe feels tears streaming from his eyes as he laughs. He tries to grab Sander's waist for does the same thing to him, but he dodges every time. Suddenly Sander stops tickling him and kisses him.

''You're too cute.''

Sander pretends to be startled, imitating Robbe.

''My baby. Give my baby back to me."

Robbe hits him on the arm, pushing him for sit down again.

"Stop! I thought I was letting him fall, I was too scared. Can you imagine if I dropped him?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''I did it once. As long as my sister doesn't find out, everything is fine. It was actually quite funny."

Robbe widens his eyes so wide that Sander starts laughing.

''I promise you, he didn't even get hurt. He didn't really fall, he rolled. In fact, when he was little, he had a kind of soft cradle. He was maybe two weeks old and my sister asked me to carry him, but I just grabbed a handle and he rolled outside the cradle. It landed under a piece of furniture and Tobias had to help me get it out with a broom. Honestly, it was funny."

Robbe looks at Sander and shakes his head, looking very serious.

'' You never go near that baby again. Oh my God why did you tell me that? Oh, I'm imagining the scene too much. Our babies will never have a crib like this."

Sander starts laughing, hugging Robbe.

"I love you so much!"

They still kiss when Robbe's mother comes back, the little one dressed in his arms.

''Have you already had breakfast?''

Sander gets up from Robbe's knees, shaking his head and takes Willem in his arms, winking at Robbe who is already in the hallway, ready to take his shower. 

Robbe laughs in the shower, imagining Sander and Tobias bringing the baby out from under the furniture and then blushes when he realizes what he said. _Our babies_. Sander has the power to give him faith in the future, it's just incredible. 

Robbe quickly gets dressed and joins the kitchen with a smile on his face. Willem's sit in his baby chair and chirps while biting his fingers. He starts crying as soon as Robbe approaches and stretches his arms out to him, getting angry. Robbe quickly presses the coffee machine and takes the little boy against him. Willem immediately calms down and starts babbling again.

"I think he's having a whims, Robbe. If you give him everything, he's going to get capricious."

Robbe looks at his mother, almost shocked, and hugs Willem as he pulls out his phone. He looks vaguely and then takes a big smile.

''Look, Mom. There are no whims before 18 months, before babies only cry out of need. You see, they say you shouldn't let babies cry, but you should respond to their cries to reassure them. He's already deprived of his mother, we're not going to let him cry anyway. He needs to know that we are there for him.''

Robbe looks up from his phone and looks at his mother who is speechless, then at Sander who is smiling.

''I love you so much, Robbe Ijzermans.''

Robbe blushes, not used to Sander making such a statement in front of his mother.

"I feel that I'm going to become a grandmother before I've had time to think about it. Ok, I'm going to take a shower. It's a good thing you are two guys, otherwise I would already be a grandmother.''

Robbe rolls his eyes and looks at Willem trying to suck on his necklace.

''Oh, do you like my necklace as much as Sander? I don't know if he's gonna want to share with you."

Sander smiles, gently caressing Robbe's back before kissing his cheek.

''Oh no, that's mine. Here, take this, man."

He gives one of his toy to Willem and puts the necklace under Robbe's shirt before kissing him again.

''Come on, give he to me, you must be hungry.''

Sander takes Willem, tickling his belly and rubbing his nose against his own.

''You love Robin, right? But watch out, he's mine. I'm watching you."

"He's a baby." Reminds Robbe "You're not going to be jealous of a baby."

Sander looks at him quickly and then looks at Willem.

''I'm sure that's why you were crying last night, you wanted to sleep with uncle Robbe. He's so beautiful when he sleeps. I can see you trying to steal him from me, little devil.''

Robbe frowns and Sander looks at him and laughs.

''I'm laughing, baby. He probably doesn't even understand what I'm saying. I'm sure if I spoke to him in another language he would react the same way. Tu aimes le chocolat?'' (Do you like chocolate?)

Willem's startled and starts crying, making Sander startle.

"Shit. Sorry. Sorry. Hey, it's okay. I was just kidding."

Sander tries to rock him, but Willem struggles, trying to push him off, crying.

''Here, go to Uncle Robin.''

Sander puts him down in his arms, barely giving him time to put his cup down and Willem stops crying almost immediately.

''I don't believe it. 24 hours with us and he already loves you more than me.''

Robbe freezes, not thinking that Sander might feel hurt by this situation and moves closer to him.

''But no, that's not it, babe. He was just scared, that's all, but he loves you."

Sander smiles, stroking Robbe's cheek.

''I was kidding, baby. I'll take care of him when he's in a good mood and as soon as he cries, I'll give him to you. You're the official "crying calmer". We make a great team."

Robbe smiles, putting an arm around Sander.

"We've always made a great team."

They barely kiss when Sander's phone rings and makes them jump. Sander picks up the phone immediately, his smile disappears immediately and Robbe knows it's probably his sister. And indeed, Sander turns the phone around so that Lara can see Willem playing with Robbe's necklace again.

''He has definitely adopted Robbe.'' says Sander, ''And I think it's mutual. You'll have to fight to get Willem back. Robbe has already completed the adoption application.''  
  
Robbe shakes his head and laughs.

''Nonsense. Don't worry, Lara, everything is fine here.''

"I can see that. Thank you brothers, I know he's good with you."

''Have you had news?'' asks Sander.

Lara loses her smile and nods.

''Nothing better. He's still on a respirator and there is no improvement, but at least it doesn't get worse. You know Dad, he's going to fight."

"What about Mom?"

Robbe gently caresses Sander's back, his worried and sad voice hurts to hear.

''She threw up all night, I feel like I have the excorsist at home. But she almost doesn't cough anymore. I called the doctor this night, he says it's normal. It's going to be okay, don't worry, okay?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders but doesn't nod and Robbe gently strokes his back.

''Can I see her?''

Lara shrugs her shoulders.

''She's sleeping, Sander.''

Sander takes his phone and frowns.

''Come on, Lara. Please. I want to talk to mom.''

Sander leaves, phone in hand and it's not yet in the bedroom when Robbe hears him talking to his mother, his voice shaking. Robbe sighs, caressing Willem's back. He understands that Sander wants to talk to his mother alone, but he wants to be there for him, and it's really hard to give him space without feeling like he's letting him down.

A sob sounds and Robbe goes to his bedroom with Willem in his arms. Sander is sitting in the middle of the bed, his phone is beside him and he is crying with his face in his hands.

''I don't want them to die.''

Robbe puts Willem down in the bed, in front of Sander and immediately takes him in his arms, caressing his arm.

''I know, babe. Neither do I. I'm sure it's going to be okay.''

''You don't know that. What if they die?"

Robbe squeezes Sander a little tighter, but doesn't say anything. Sander's right, he doesn't know. That could happen.

''I'll be there for you."

Sander starts crying again, hugging Robbe against him. They stay maybe two, five or ten minutes like that, until Sander sniffs, dries his tears and bends over to look at Willem smiling at him.

"You know, sometimes it's good for the big boys to cry too. Shall we go for a walk? Robbe?"

Robbe nods, gently kissing Sander's cheek.

''Good idea, we have to buy carrots for tonight.''

Sander looks at him, surprised and that makes Robbe smile.

"I know it worked with the cucumber, but I think it's usually a carrot you put in for St. Nicholas, right? I wouldn't want him to forget me. I have been very good this year."

Sander smiles, sniffs and bends over to hold Robbe close to him.

''You're right. We have to prepare for the arrival of St Nicholas. Thanks Robbe."

Robbe rolls his eyes while caressing his cheek.

''Stop thanking me. I'm doing this for me, you know, I want chocolates in my shoes."

Sander starts laughing before he kisses him and then takes Willem in his arms.

''Do you realize, uncle Robbe wasn't even preparing his shoe when I met him? Sounds crazy, doesn't it?''

Willem starts giggling and drooling and that makes both boys laugh back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sander is so sensitive. He tries to be a tough guy sometimes, but you can tell he's very sensitive, especially when he's with Robbe.
> 
> I like to think that Robbe just can't let a baby cry. He has suffered so much from his relationship with his father that he wants to be super reassuring .
> 
> I hope that's okay with you too, and that you're still following this story with me.
> 
> And for the story of the cradle...it's a true story. The baby was my sister-in-law and it was her father who made her roll out of the crib under the furniture...we laugh about it at every birthday...😂😂😂


	45. I want chocolates.

_Saturday, December 5th 9:22 pm  
_

"What?"

Sander looks at him septically and Robbe bursts out laughing.

''What? Nowhere is it written that he has to be put in a shoe."

Sander looks at him and rolls his eyes.

''It says it in all the songs, Robbe. A shoe is not a sweater."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and laughs.

''I don't care, I'll get more than you. And then look, Willem doesn't even have any shoes."

Sander starts laughing.

''He doesn't eat chocolate either.''

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and adds a few sugars to his sweater before Sander takes his picture. 

''You are jealous because you didn't get the idea first. I'm going to be super spoiled."

Sander rolls his eyes again but pulls him towards him to kiss him.

''You've spent the day taking care of a baby perfectly well, and tonight you're a real baby.''

Robbe laughs, hugging Sander.

''I've always been a baby. I want chocolates. And thanks to my idea, I'm going to get more than you."

Sander carries him in his arms and Robbe is really happy to let him do it and wrap his legs around his waist.

"He's asleep,'' says his mother softly on his way back from the guest room, which is supposed to be Willem's room, although he will probably join Sander and Robbe in the middle of the night. His mother looks at them and smiles. Robbe expects her to say that he can walk or that he must be heavy, but she doesn't say anything, she just smiles at them.

''Are you going to go like this, or will you take your bikes?''

Robbe smiles and unhooks his feet to put them on the ground, laughing.

''No, we're going to go by bike. We'll be back in 40 minutes, I guess. It's okay?''

His mother nods while Sander frowns.

"Where are we going?"

Robbe raises his eyebrows twice and goes into the kitchen. He opens a cupboard and takes out a sort of basket that his mother has lent him.

''Saint Nicholas has to go to the Driesens' too, right? I told Lara that we were taking care of it. I don't know if Eefie and Romi have been really good, but I think they'll be happy about it."

Sander comes closer and smiles as he looks at the basket full of chocolates and gingerbread.

''Shall we go to my house?"

Robbe shakes his head while caressing his cheek.

"Oh no. We're going to put this on the window sill but we're not going home. I don't want you to risk anything, okay? If you want to stay here, I can"

''Are you kidding? I'm going to get dressed. Thanks, baby."

Sander kisses him and then moans like he's remembering something.

"Shit, Willem, we can't"

"I'll take care of him." Robbe's mother cuts him off. "He's sleeping anyway, otherwise I'm here. I'm fine, don't worry."

Sander smiles at him and nods.

''Thanks Nathalie. You do so much for my family. I've imposed myself, now my nephew. Thank you so much."

Nathalie shrugs her shoulders and smiles.

''You put a smile on my cranky baby's face, I owe you that much.''

Sander and Robbe's mother start laughing, while Robbe rolls his eyes.

''OK. Curfew's at midnight so we're cool. Let's go."

Robbe feels like he hasn't been on his bike for ages, and that it's been even longer since he's ridden a bike with Sander. Sander looks at him out of the corner of his eye from time to time and smiles.

''Look at your road. No more accidents, OK?"

Sander laughs and gets closer to Robbe.

''You are just too beautiful. Adorable. Sweet. Altruistic. So nic"

A scream startled Robbe and Sander avoids a passer-by at the last moment.

"Sorry. Happy St. Nicholas!'' shouts Sander before bursting into laughter.

They pedal more calmly to Sander's parents' house. They go around the house and Robbe puts the basket on the kitchen window sill, just like he told Lara. Sander has put down his bike and he looks out the window of his parents' bedroom in the dark. 

Robbe puts an arm around his shoulders and kisses him on the temple while caressing his shoulder.

"We're going home?"

Sander nods, and a knock on a window makes them raise their heads. Eefie and Romi make big signs to them, a big smile on their lips. They disappear then return with a paper which they stick to the window.

''Watch out Sandy, Zwarte Piet is going to catch you.''

Sander starts laughing and the light in his mother's room comes on. Lara beckons them not to move and the next moment Sander's mother appears, with a slight smile on her lips. She looks tired but she really tries to smile and even if they don't hear her, they guess the _Thank You_ on her lips and then the _I love You_.

Sander nods and then takes out his phone and types a message. Robbe sees Lara looking at her phone and then shows it to her mother and she raises her thumb.

"I told her that she had better get better or she won't be eating chocolate tomorrow. You know how much she loves chocolate."

They take their bikes back, sign their last goodbye and ride back to Robbe's house. This time, Sander pedals very slowly, almost too quietly, but Robbe waits for him and goes at his own pace.

When they get home Robbe's mother is sitting on the couch watching a Christmas movie and she smiles at them.

''Did it go well? Willem is still sleeping, don't worry."

Sander smiles and nods.

''I saw my sisters and my mother. She seems to be doing better. It was a really great idea. Thank you both so much."

Sander hugs Robbe because he's right next to him.

''Thank you, baby, you're amazing.''

''I made hot water for tea, want to watch the movie with me?''

She gets up and walks into the kitchen where she takes out three cups without waiting for an answer.

"Okay, let me summarize, it's a student, Olaf, who hasn't come out of the closet with his family and is coming home for the holidays. His parents want him to get back together with his ex-girlfriend and he's handling it as best he can, but his boyfriend, Nathan, pays him a surprise visit, thinking his whole family knows about the two of them. Here I am. Nathan just got here. He's so cute."

Robbe looks at the screen and then looks at his mother.

"But why do you watch that kind of movie?"

His mother just shrugs her shoulders as she fills the cups.

''Well, why not? It's called _Make the yuletide gay_. It reminded me of you."

''That sounds great!'' says Sander as he takes two cups.

Robbe sits on the couch, Sander sits between his legs, next to his mother, and the only thing he can think about is that last year he never imagined that he would ever be able to do that. He looks at his mother with a smile on his face and as if she could feel his gaze on her, she turns to look at him.

"What?''

Robbe smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

''Nothing. I'm just very lucky to have you as my mom. I love you."

His mother smiles even more and moves closer so she can gently caress his cheek.

''I love you too, Robbe. I'm really proud to be your mom. I'm so proud of the man you're becoming."

She sits down and elbows Sander;

''Hey, don't eat all the gingerbread, I want some too.''

Sander pretends to hesitate and then hands her the box with a smile.

''Don't leave it in my hands if you don't want it, it's too good.''

Robbe grabs a cake before Sander tries to take it and kisses him on the cheek while laughing.

Definitely, it's really a wonderful evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may seem strange to those who don't celebrate St. Nicholas, but in certain regions in the east of France, Belgium, Germany and the Netherlands, St. Nicholas is a very important festival, even more important than Christmas. 
> 
> Personally, I grew up in the Ardennes then lived under Alsace for 7 years, and I always loved this feast! This year again, even if I live in a region that doesn't celebrate that, I had my St Nicolas' chocolate and made Jeansbonhommes (buns in the shape of bonhommes)


	46. And the reason is you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought I wouldn't come, didn't you? I confess, I thought so too...but finally i'm here...In French, it's 11:56pm so it's still Tuesday....

_Sunday, December 6, 3:21 am_

Definitely, it's really an awful night.

Willem woke up crying around 2:30 am, maybe 2:45 am, Robbe is not really sure because he didn't wake up right away. In fact, as awful as it is to confess, it was not Willem's crying that woke him up, but Sander's voice, which was not as loud as the crying. Or maybe it's just Sander's lack in the bed.

In any case, Robbe got up, bumping into the furniture slightly because he wasn't fully awake, and joined Sander in the bedroom opposite his. Sander put Willem back in his arms, relieved to see Robbe come to help him, and the little boy stopped for barely ten seconds before crying even harder. 

They have been trying to rock him ever since, in vain, and suddenly Robbe remembers that he had read about this situation in the booklet left by Lara. Sander comes out of the room and Robbe immediately feels lonely. He knows it's silly because Sander has just gone to fetch the paper from the kitchen but can't help but feel alone and totally helpless in front of this crying baby. And indeed, Sander returns less than two minutes later, paper in hand.

"She wrote it could be the teeth. Do you think he has fever?"

Robbe touches Willem's forehead and pouting.

''I don't know. He's sweaty, but he's so angry, it's probably normal, right?"

Sander comes and touches his forehead and then shrugs his shoulders.

''I think he's fine. Do you think we should wake up your mother?"

Robbe shakes his head and takes the paper from Sander's hands. His mother needs a fixed schedule and enough sleep to be well. And so does Sander. Robbe looks at him and Sander takes the paper from him.

''Don't even dare say I need sleep. Okay, I have to give him something for his teeth.''

Sander rummages through the bag and then tips it over on the bed and grabs the tube of ointment.

''Do you think I should put this on my finger? Isn't it gross to put my finger in his mouth?"

A nervous laugh takes Robbe almost by surprise. 

''You didn't ask yourself questions to put him in worse places than this.''

Robbe laughs even more and Willem calms down. He opens his eyes, looking at him strangely while Sander sighs.

''You're a real baby! I'm going to wash my hands. Oh God, Robbe, I can't believe you said that."

Robbe still laughs at his bullshit when Sander comes back. He presses the ointment on his index finger like toothpaste and massages Willem's gums with it.

''I'll never see your hands the same way again.''

Sander rolls his eyes and removes his finger in one go.

"He fucking bit me!"

A small drop of blood beads on Sander's finger and Willem immediately starts screaming again.

"Go clean it up, baby."

Sander disappears and Robbe tries to rock Willem, but it's even worse.

''Okay. Do you want to play? Let's go get your weird giraffe."

Robbe crosses the hallway, Willem still crying in his arms and he bends over to grab the toy from his desk. His elbow taps the guitar that rings and Willem stops before he starts crying again. Robbe runs his finger over the strings of the guitar and the little boy stops.

"You're even worse than your uncle."

Robbe puts Willem on their bed and grabs his guitar before sitting down next to him.

"What style do you like?"

Willem pouting, ready to cry and Robbe gently strums his guitar, not knowing what to play. And as if the guitar was choosing for him, the note he plays by chance makes him think of the beginning of a song he knows well, so he plays it.

The instrumental part would probably have been enough for Willem, but as Sander finally appears and gently closes the door before coming to sit on the bed, Robbe looks at him and starts singing.

 _I'm not a perfect person._ _There's many things I wish I didn't do, but I continue learning._ _I never meant to do those things to you._

Sander frowns slightly, probably wondering why Robbe knows this song, but Robbe simply smiles at him, trying to remember all the chords. He had never imagined playing it in front of Sander, but learning it had helped him to accept that he had made a mess of it. If a song like this exists, it's good that it's not just Robbe who screwed things up with the person he loves, so strangely, a year ago, it makes him feel less lonely, and less guilty.

 _I'm sorry that I hurt you._ _It's something I must live with everyday a_ _nd all the pain I put you through._ _I wish that I could take it all away a_ _nd be the one who catches all your tears._

Sander gently caresses his cheek, seeming to have finally understood why this song speaks so much to Robbe. 

_I've found a reason for me._ _To change who I used to be._ _A reason to start over new._ _And the reason is you._

Robbe looks at Willem and plays more softly. The little boy has closed his eyes but doesn't seem to be sleeping so Robbe simply plays, looking at Sander in the eyes and smiling at him, then starts to play more and more softly before stopping.

Willem makes a moaning sound but his breath becomes regular and Robbe puts his guitar down with a smile on his face.

"Should we take him back to his bed?"

Robbe looks at Sander as if he has just said something blasphemous and shakes his head.

''Are you laughing? Even if he took the whole bed and I had to sleep on the floor, I wouldn't move him.''

Willem sleeps instead of Sander, against the wall, so Robbe lies down as close to the edge as possible and opens his arms so that Sander can come and stand in the middle.

''You know I forgave you a long time ago, baby? I know it was hard for you."

Robbe nods and kisses Sander's neck.

''I know. Sometimes it's harder to forgive yourself than it is to forgive others."

Sander hugs him and Robbe knows he understands him all too well. Robbe closes his eyes and goes back to sleep almost immediately.

''Baby, it's morning!''

Robbe yawns and opens his eyes to discover Sander lying next to him and Willem next to him smiling at them.

''You're looking better, little boy.''

Willem grabs his fingers and tries to put them in his mouth.

''I think he's hungry,'' says Sander and hugs him.

He puts a soft kiss on Robbe's lips before getting out of bed. 

''Maybe St. Nicholas came by.''

Robbe widens his eyes, feeling stupid for having forgotten that. He gets out of bed and quickly gets dressed so that he can leave the bedroom at the same time as Sander.

There is one chocolate Saint Nicholas in Sander's shoe, and at least a dozen chocolates on Robbe's sweater.

"Somebody must have thought you were the best boyfriend in the world."

Robbe smiles as he kisses Sander, punctuating his kisses with "thank you" and "I love you". Sander hugs him with one hand, holding Willem with the other hand and Robbe helps him hold him down by putting one hand on Willem.

''Oh guys, you are so cute,'' says his mother as she comes out of her room, ''Did you sleep well? I slept like a baby."

Robbe looks at Willem and wonders where that expression comes from...probably from someone who's never had children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, Robbe will stop singing one day...or not....
> 
> okay, I still have 5h54 of sleep before I have to get up...I'm going to bed... see you tomorrow.


	47. The view is beautiful, isn't it?

_Sunday, December 6th 2:26 pm_

Robbe gently closes the bedroom door and joins Sander victorious. His mother has just gone for a walk and is trying to phone Fanny to try to get more news from Sander's father.

So now Robbe knows that it's just the two of them. Willem should sleep for a while since he didn't sleep at all this morning, so they're going to enjoy being together. And in Robbe's mind, that means a naked moment, in their bed, with lots of kisses and hugs.

Robbe's imagination doesn't really have time to get excited because he realizes that none of this will happen as soon as he arrives in the living room. Sander is asleep on the couch with his head resting on the armrest, and Robbe can't even be disappointed, because Sander is just too cute. 

Robbe grabs the blanket at the end of the couch and puts it on Sander before going to his room. He could lie down next to Sander, but he would crush it halfway and even though Sander wouldn't say anything for sure, Robbe knows that he would sleep less well. Robbe looks at his bed, but he doesn't want to sleep alone, so he takes his computer and smiles. If he can't do anything sexual right now, he can at least watch some.

He opens the hidden files at the bottom of his hard drive containing the videos of their sex tape. He decides to do what he does when he's editing the vlogs, which is to start by watching the whole movie. Except that there are three points of view, so three movies, and although it's downright exciting, he doesn't want to watch the same thing three times. So in the end he watches the film shot in POV because that's the one that will be used as the basis for the editing.

He bursts out laughing when he looks at the ceiling for more than a minute. In the end, he has to admit that Sander was much more focused on filming than he was. As soon as the camera switches to Robbe, he films superbly at first, but always ends up filming the ceiling or the sheets.

Robbe's cheeks turn scarlet red when he looks at himself, and frankly it's super hard to look at himself like that. 

''The view is beautiful, isn't it?''

Robbe startled and holds himself at the office so he doesn't fall down, letting out a cry of surprise that makes Sander laugh.

''I wondered why I was alone, but now I understand better.''

Robbe stops the film but Sander starts it again and kisses him gently in the neck while letting his hand slide down his pants.

''It doesn't really leave you indifferent, does it?''

Robbe moans, both in the movie and in reality and Sander slides his hand under his pants, putting his chin on Robbe's shoulder.

''Oh, I'm not bad after all. If I just muscled up a bit.''

Robbe looks at Sander's bare chest on the screen and shakes his head.

''Nonsense, you're perfect. Look at your face, you look so happy.''

''So in love.'' Sander confirms, ''Because that's what I am.''

Robbe stops the film and records everything before shutting down his computer.

"Hey, I was waiting for the apotheosis." Sander complains with a smile.

Robbe gets up and gently pushes him until he falls on the bed.

''It's coming, babe.''

Robbe opens Sander's pants to release his erection and to be able to take it in his mouth.

''Oh baby, yes.''

Sander pulls off the sweater and tee shirt and Robbe to take it off before pulling it towards him so he can kiss him.

''It's been too long, I've missed you too much.''

Robbe slips his hands under Sander's sweater to take it off, before peppering his chest with kisses. He puts Sander on his back so that he can climb on his thighs while continuing to kiss him.

"Guys, quick, that's oh..."

Robbe makes a high-pitched scream, immediately descending from Sander's legs, who closes his pants just as quickly.

"Mom!''

''Sorry, but it's almost four o'clock, I didn't expect to find you like this. Here, Sander, quick.''

His mother almost throws her phone away and Sander catches it on the fly with a frown.

''Hi, big boy. Still in bed?"

Peter looks exhausted and thinned out but he tries to smile.

"Dad! How are you doing?"

His father raises an inch before closing his eyes.

''It's going to be okay. Don't worry, Sander.''

The screen turns and Fanny appears, masked and dressed like an astronaut.

''He's tired, but as you can see, he's been extubated today. He's going to be fine. I've checked with my colleague who will be here in the morning, they'll call your mother tomorrow." 

Sander nods and thanks Fanny again when a high-pitched scream calls them into the next room. Robbe gets up under the amused gaze of his mother and puts his shirt back on before going to fetch Willem.

"I promise, next time I'll knock," says his mother softly as he leaves the room with her phone in his hand ''Sorry, Robbe.''

Robbe nods, imagining what would have happened if his mother had come home just two minutes earlier.

''Yeah. And I'd lock up, that's better.Sorry. But thanks for the call, I think it really did Sander good."

Robbe joins Sander with red cheeks while Sander smiles as if everything is fine. Robbe looks at him, looks at Willem and sighs. Sander is right, everything is fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who has never been surprised by their parents or siblings? 🔞
> 
> 🤭🤭


	48. I swear I didn't mean it like that,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you're doing well! 
> 
> A little jump in the time of a few days...and here we go!

_Wednesday 9 December - 00:17am_

_"Do you realize what you're making me do?"_

Robbe realizes that his voice was too dry, too accusatory so he looks at him, but as he doesn't get an answer, he sighs again looks at the worktop and adds flour.

"Honestly, sometimes I wonder if you're not doing this on purpose. I love you, but I have to admit that you exhaust me. It's amazing, yesterday I spent the whole day at school thinking about you and today I can't stop thinking about when you're going to leave and I'm almost looking forward to it."

Robbe realizes what he has just said and immediately blames himself.

"I didn't mean it like that, I"

"It's okay." Sander say softly "you have the right to say that, baby, that doesn't make you a horrible person. You're just a wonderful 17 year old guy who didn't plan to be a daddy now. I'm looking forward to a real night too."

Robbe is startled, not expecting Sander to surprise him like that and join him for a hug.

"What are you doing here? I'm sorry. You wake up and you hear me say that to him. I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that."

Robbe turns to Willem, who is still looking at him, sitting quietly in his baby chair, obviously not wanting to sleep.

"I'm really sorry, Willem, I swear I didn't mean it like that. Besides, it's clear that I'm going to miss you terribly when you're gone. But if you could sleep at night I would still be very grateful."

Willem lets out a chuckle and Robbe sighs. Sander passes his arms on both sides of his waist and gently pulls him back so that Robbe's back rests on his chest.

"You should have woken me up, baby. It's not up to you to deal with every night."

Robbe turns around and kisses Sander.

"You need to sleep, you looked really tired. You didn't even see that I tried to put him back to sleep between us. But as he kept trying to pull your hair out finally I came with him into the kitchen."

Sander kisses him on the temple before looking at the worktop.

"And you decided to throw flour on the worktop just to change the kid's mind?"

Robbe bursts out laughing while shaking his head.

"Of course, I thought it would be a joy to clean up afterwards. But no, idiot, I'm making Christmas cookies. If I'm awake, I might as well be awake for something."

Sander slips behind the worktop and looks at the ready cookie dough in the bowl.

"But why do you bake so much at night? Ok, go to bed and I'll finish this."

Robbe joins him by rolling his eyes.

"And brag in the morning about making the cookies when I did all the work, are you kidding? But if you're nice, I'll let you help me."

Kim's song rings out and it startled Sander, who turned around to look at Willem.

"Yeah." confirms Robbe "He loves your bestfriend."

Sander starts laughing and holds out the rolling pin while singing that silly chicken song. And suddenly Willem starts laughing. Not the kind of little giggles he usually makes to show that he's having fun, but a real laugh, like an adult laugh, but with a higher pitch. 

Sander and Robbe look at each other and then look at Willem with wide-eyed eyes and Sander goes back to Kim and sings again. Willem laughs and Sander laughs with him before kissing him on the forehead. Robbe looks at them they are both so cute that he regrets even more what he said before. It's clear that as soon as he walks out the door of the house, he's going to miss this little boy very much.

"When I tell my sister that he laughed for the first time, she's not going to believe it."

Robbe grabs the tree, star and man-shaped cookie cutters that Sander bought last week, saying _"it's inconceivable that you can't have Christmas cookies in a house"_ and cuts out a tree before looking at Sander.

"Do you think we should tell her? Won't it make her too sad to miss it? Maybe we'd better not say anything and let her find out for herself, right?"

Sander looks at him, hesitates and grabs the star punch before making dozens of them on the dough.

"Maybe. I hadn't thought about that. I'll ask your mother tomorrow."

Sander takes the man-shaped cookie cutter and puts it in the dough to cut out the shape while Robbe takes the stars that Sander has just made and puts them on the baking tray.

"Every year in December, my mother used to make us cookies like this," says Sander as he cuts up another man. ''When I was little I could spend hours decorating them and I always made a special one for my mother. Two years ago I had a rather violent episode in December where I took it out on my mother a lot. Not physically of course but I said some awful things, just to hurt her. It was like I needed her to suffer as much as I was suffering at the time."

Robbe puts his tree on the kitchen plate and wraps his arms around Sander and kisses him on the neck.

''It's far away babe. You're better now."

Sander nods and cuts another man.

"When I woke up the next morning I was still super angry, but my mom had made a huge Christmas cookie and decorated it with lots of details like I used to do when I was a child and it was there on my bedside table. With this simple cake, it was like she was telling me that she loved me and that I would always be part of the family, no matter what I did or what I said. That's what I like about traditions. It keeps the family together."

Robbe smiles and grabs a piece of dough that he eats.

''I thought it was because you love to eat. All the traditions of the Driesen family revolve around food."

Willem applauds and Sander starts laughing. He reflects, looking for another example and then shrugs his shoulders.

''Yeah, you're right. That's our way of saying I love you.''

Robbe reaches out his hand to pick up a piece of dough, but Sander hits the top of his hand.

''Hey! I thought that meant "I love you"?"

Sander shakes his head and gently pushes Robbe away as he tries to eat another piece.

"No, that's unbaked cookie dough that's going to give you a tummy ache. In exactly 14 minutes, it will mean I love you, but it will be hot. And then the Chritmas cookies won't really be ready until tomorrow when we decorate them. So I love you, but you will eat them tomorrow. Well, just a few hours since it's already Wednesday."

Robbe nods, but as soon as Sander walks away to put the first round in the oven, he steals a piece of cookie dough.

''I'm sorry, but it's just too good.''

When Sander takes the last round out of the oven, Willem sleeps peacefully in his baby chair. Robbe takes him gently in his arms and Sander looks at him as if he were crazy.

''He's not going to sleep there, babe! Come on, let's go to bed.''

Robbe hesitates when he finds himself in front of the bedroom doors.

''Robbe...''

Robbe turns around pouting and puppy eyes.

''I told him I want him to go, I don't want him to be lonely tonight.''

Sander looks at him and then nods with a sigh.

''I'll tell Lara to complain to you about bad habits. Why does everyone think that I'm the one who hands over everything to him? You're worse than me.''

Robbe looks at the sleeping little boy in his arms and sighs.

''You are right. I'm going to put him to bed. I just didn't want him to feel abandoned."

Robbe takes a step towards Willem's room but Sander turns him around and gently pushes him to their bed.

''I know you won't sleep otherwise. I swear he doesn't blame you, baby. He knows you love him."

Robbe smiles and takes the little boy asleep in their bed. 

''I swear I didn't mean it like that, Will.''

And Robbe falls asleep, in Sander's arms, one hand on Willem's belly, praying that the little boy sleeps until morning. And strangely enough, just before going to sleep, he thinks of his father and wonders if he has ever done this for him.

Did he ever get up at night to dry his tears? Did he ever make him sleep against him to reassure him? 

Robbe had never wondered how his father treated him when he was a baby, remembering only the absent father he was in his final years, and as he fell asleep, he thought he would ask the question. Just to know.


	49. Am I dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you are well. A chapter longer than the last ones...I hope you like it!

_Friday 11 Decembre 4:14 pm_

"Robbe Ijzermans you sleep? Are you listening to me?"

Robbe is startled when he hears his first name and looks at the screen smiling before turning on his microphone.

"Yes of course I listen, ma'am. Sorry."

The biology teacher frowns and rolls her eyes with a sigh.

"You don't have anything else to do because being at home. You could be a little more serious and go to bed early instead of spending nights playing online games."

Robbe widens his eyes, can't believe he's being yelled at like that in front of the whole class, but he disconnects his microphone. He doesn't have the energy at all to get into a fight with one of his teachers.

"It's nothing to do with that." Says Aaron, "he has a baby to take care of, you could at least be nice to him."

"You could ask before you judge." Says Jens in a dry voice.

The teacher turned pale and then looked up at the sky as Robbe felt all the eyes in this class turn to him. And even if it's by computer, it's more than enough to change the color of his cheeks.

"Honestly, your words are shocking." Moyo gets angry "We have to stay home but maybe you should realize that we also have to face our problems. Not everyone here spends all night playing the console."

Robbe smiles tenderly as he looks at Moyo. He knows that his mother is having a difficult episode and that right now it's really complicated at home. Most of the students start talking, until the voices stop all of a sudden.

"Now that's enough!" Enraged the teacher, "Don't look for it, I've turned off your microphones. We're not going to judge the different families and who has the most problems, but I don't think I learned that Robbe had become a father, and Robbe, I think I saw you kissing another guy several times so now stop making fun of me. I'm not even sure if there's a baby in your house, but even if there is, he has parents, right?"

Robbe gets up, angry, and joins his mother who's playing with Willem in the living room. 

"I'll just borrow him for a couple of minutes."

He takes Willem in his arms and brings him back to his bedroom, proudly showing him on the screen, happy to see that his microphone is on again.

"This is the terror that keeps me awake at night. His single mother is currently taking care of his grandmother and aunts who have the Covid, while his grandfather is still in intensive care, so I'm taking care of him. So yes even though I'm gay and I'm not his dad, I'm taking care of him, and even though I share that with my boyfriend, it's just exhausting. So sorry if I look like shit and you feel like I wasn't listening, I'm just completely exhausted. I haven't touched a console for at least 2 weeks, and I haven't even had sex for more than 10 days, so stop with your bullshit remarks and just get busy teaching biology.''

Robbe close his computer, thus ending his participation in the classe, and looks at Willem, who looks at him completely gawked.

"Sorry, baby, she was so"

"Am I dreaming, or did you just tell one of his teachers and your whole class that you're sex-starved?"

Robbe looks at his mother and frankly he just wants to cry. His mother smiles and comes over to gently tap him on the shoulder. 

"Normally you have nine months to get used to the idea of becoming parents. And even if we don't know what we're getting into, it allows us to prepare ourselves. You and Sander have had 9 seconds to get used to the idea that you will have to take care of Willem. And I'm really proud of the way you take care of him, but right now I think you need to take care of yourself."

His mother gently takes Willem in her arms and looks at the clock before she looks at him.

"Oh, but did you see what time it is, Willy? I think it's time for us to go for a walk. There's a great sun outside. Uncle Sander will be home from his appointment in five minutes. I think your uncles need to being together for a moment. Like one hour."

Robbe looks at his mother in astonishment and she leaves the bedroom, the little boy in her arms, without saying anything more. 

And once again, Robbe feels horrible. It's not even about sex. He doesn't even know why he said that, and now his cell phone keeps ringing, his friends asking him if he's okay. He only sends them an inch in the air, not wanting to talk and sighs.

Someone knocks on his door but because it is not closed, Robbe immediately sees that it's Sander.

"I bumped into your mother who go out for a walk with Willem and she told me you needed me for something."

Robbe moans and suddenly, without really expecting it, a sob comes out of his chest and he starts to cry. Sander joins him immediately, hugs him and kisses him on the forehead and then on the hair.

''It's all right, baby, I'm here. What happened?"

Robbie sniffs, wipes his tears against his sleeve, without letting go of Sander's sweater.

"My bio teacher yelled at me because I was starting to fall asleep in class. It caused quite a mess and I ended up saying in front of the whole class that I was sex-starved. And my mom heard it."

Sander starts laughing and Robbe looks at him upset, but Sander doesn't give him time to talk so he pulls him to the bed and pushes him to lie down on it. He almost jumps on the door to lock it and comes back to kneel on Robbe's thighs.

"I'm your man for this."

Sander tries to kiss him but Robbe gently pushes him away.

"No, I don't want it to be like that. I was angry and tired. I don't want you to do it because of that."

Sander shakes his head and pulls on Robbe's sweater to get him to sit down.

"We're only both at home, alone, which hasn't happened for centuries, and I don't have class before an hour, so I'm going to make love with you because I want and need it too. I don't even understand how we could go so many days without doing anything."

Robbe sighs as he hugs himself.

"We're too tired. Either we fall asleep on the couch and then we walk like zombies to come to bed, or we go to bed and fall asleep right away. Not to mention sharing a bed with a baby every night and be worried about your family."

Sander rolls his eyes and kisses Robbe in the neck.

"It wasn't really a question, baby. Now let me take care of you."

Sander kisses him gently and then pulls his sweater off before kissing him, all over his chest. He unbuttons his jeans and takes them off before getting up and to undress himself, keeping only his boxer.

He lifts up the comforter and signals to Robbe to come underneath. They lie down in front of each other, only a few millimeters apart, their legs tying together immediately. Sander closes the comforter over their heads, putting them in a sort of cave and then kisses him tenderly. 

"I love you so much, Robbe."

Robbe hums in response and slips his hand into Sander's boxer. He gently caresses the already wet cock, smiling in the kiss. Sander lets his hand reach down to Robbe's ass, gently caressing it.

"How do you want it?"

Robbe kisses him from jaw to ear before whispering. 

"You said you were going to take care of me."

Sander pushes him so Robbe is on his back and then takes off his boxer before escaping from their cave just to get some lube. He comes back between his legs and licks Robbe's cock.

"Take it easy, I'm already close."

Sander kisses him twice in the middle of the cock before straightening up.

"I know."

Robbe has just enough time to realize that it's the sound of the lubricant opening that he hears, that Sander's fingers dance around his hole. Sander bends over to kiss him and, as he often does, he bites Robbe's lip as he inserts a finger into him. 

"Relax, baby, it's okay. It's just the two of us."

Robbe exhales slowly, feeling his shoulders slacken and looks into the eyes of this incredible guy looking at him.

"I love you so much, Sander."

Sander raises his eyebrows with a smile.

"You like that too, right?"

Sander adds a second finger and Robbe nods and moans.

"Yes, damn it."

Sander grabs Robbe's chain with his teeth and plays with his necklace while he moves his fingers, causing his boyfriend to moan contentedly. 

"Come on, Sander."

Robbe straightens up, pushes away the comforter that makes him much too hot and takes off Sander's boxer.

"Please, come."

Sander nods but doesn't move.

"Do you want to come fast or do you want it to last?"

Robbe shakes his head and pulls Sander towards him.

"I couldn't last."

Sander smiles before licking his lips.

"That wasn't my question."

Robbe closes his eyes because Sander caresses him, almost crushing his dick in his hand.

"Robbe?"

Robbe sighs, moving his hips in Sander's hand.

"Make me last. Just a little bit."

Sander nods and picks up Robbe's lips with his own before he puts two fingers inside him again. 

He lets go of his lips and turns Robbe to the side, to slip behind him, making Robbe his little spoon. The bottle of lubricant makes that familiar sound again and the next moment Sander gently pushes it into him. Robbe stops him quickly, putting his hand on his thigh and Sander waits, kissing him on the neck and upper back. Robbe removes his hand and Sander pushes a little deeper without stopping kissing his neck.

And then Sander stops and exhales with a big blow. Robbe turns as much as he can to look at him and Sander nestles against his shoulder.

"You are so tight. Just wait."

Robbe stays still even if he needs friction, giving Sander time to pull himself together. And it makes him moan even louder when Sander finally moves.

As he slowly moves inside him, Sander's hand plays with Robbe's cock more than it caresses him, but that's enough to make Robbe totally impatient. He grabs Sander's thigh and guides him to increase his pace. Sander's breath is completely disordered and it's clear that he's close, but the moment Robbe feels his orgasm approaching, ready to explode, Sander lets go of his cock and withdraws.

"No." Robbe moans "Come back."

Sander pulls his shoulder so that Robbe gets on his back and comes between his legs.

"I'm here, Robin."

Robbe is so needy that he grabs Sander's cock to guide it into him. He closes his eyes as soon as Sander penetrates him again and grabs the sheet so he doesn't caress himself. Sander pinches his nipples before licking them, going as deep as he can and kisses him just as Robbe come, moaned a _"Oh God"_.

Sander bites his earring when he comes inside him and then lets himself fall on him.

Normally Robbe would tell him that he crushes him and push him until he's next to him, but he's too tired for that, so he simply closes his eyes.


	50. Yes. Yes. 100Times yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you are well. Here it's getting crazy between the vacations (for my kids but not yet for me) and the preparation of Christmas (even if it will be with a small family).... I hope you're doing well.
> 
> A little change of direction in our history today... let's go !

_Friday, December 11th 5:25 pm_

Robbe wakes up with a start, in a kind of panic when he hears an alarm ringing. 

"It's nothing. I have class in five minutes. Go back to sleep, Robin."

Robbe sighs and reluctantly gets up. Sander immediately pushes him back to lie down. 

"I'm serious, baby. You're way too tired. Please go back to sleep."

Robbe watches Sander leave and lies down but even if he closes his eyes the sleep doesn't come back. So he gets up and goes to take a shower before taking a look at Sander. He's talking about the fact that he doesn't like to put colors in his drawings so Robbe leaves him and goes to the living room. 

His mother is cooking something and Willem is lying on the mat in the living room. 

"How are you doing, big boy? Sleep well?"

Robbe nods and joins Willem.

"Yeah, I needed some sleep. Thanks, Mom."

He doesn't look at his mother because he's sure she'd give him a dodgy eye contact or a dodgy eyebrow twitch, so he look at Willem.

"What about you, buddy? Did you enjoy the walk? Do you want to take a bath? Cause I don't want to offend you, but you stink. Uh, I think it overflowed."

Robbe takes him, but his bottom pants are all wet, so he looks at his mother with puppy eyes. 

"Mom?"

His mother gives him a look back that says _"really Robbe?"_ and Robbe pouting.

"Please? It's everywhere."

His mother stops making what looks like lasagna and wipes her hands before heading to the bathroom. 

"You can give him a bath but you can't change his diaper? How are you going to deal with your kids?"

Robbe sighs and then smiles.

"We won't live very far from your house and since you'll be a super grandmother, will you be able to take care of them?"

His mother bursts out laughing as she takes off the little boy's disgusting pants while Robbe fills his plastic bathtub.

"I should take a picture of you and send it to your teacher." Said his mother softly as she gave Willem to him "I don't know what she said to piss you off, but it couldn't have been nice."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and puts Willem in the bathtub.

"Don't worry, Mom, she's just being silly."

His mother gently strokes his shoulder before kissing his cheek. 

"I'm going to finish making dinner, is that okay?"

Robbe chuckles and gently sprinkles Willem.

"Yes, Mom, thanks."

As soon as his mother closes the door, Robbe sits down next to the little bathtub. It's crazy how soothing a moment like that can be. Or is it because he just woke up from a nap and Sander took really good care of him before that? Robbe blushes as he looks at the little boy. If he could read his thoughts, he would be traumatized.

When the water gets cold, Robbe takes Willem out of the water and dries him quickly and puts a diaper on him before taking him back to his room. Sander is always chatting with one of his teachers even when it looks like the class is over, so Robbe tries to sneak in and get a clean bodysuit and pyjamas before he goes to his bedroom.

Sander joins him just as Robbe has finished dressing the little boy. 

"My art teacher says you're so cute."

Robbe rolls his eyes as he takes Willem in his arms.

"She was talking about the baby."

Sander looks at the little boy and then at his boyfriend and looks at Willem again while giggling.

"I'm sorry, Will, but Robbe is much cuter than you."

Robbe smiles and Sander kisses his smile.

"Idiot. You'll be happy, my mother makes lasagne."

Sander takes a huge smile and then takes Robbe's hand in his.

"You're going to be happy... I found us an apartment. Maybe you will. If we want. If we like it."

Sander's phone pings and he takes it out of his pocket with a shout of joy.

"Oh yeah! She's great. She sent me the pictures. Look !"

Robbe quickly looks at the picture of a living room but doesn't really pay attention. 

"Who is She?"

Sander rolls his eyes and strokes Robbe's cheek before kissing him.

''Don't worry, Robin. She's my art teacher. When she saw you passing by with Willem, she told me she didn't know we were living together and she congratulated me for staying serious about my studies, so I told her we were confined to your mom's house with my nephew, but we were looking for a place and look, she rents that one halfway between here and campus. She's redoing the kitchen but it will be available right after Christmas. We can visit it if we want. What do you think, baby?"

Robbe scrolls through the pictures. The apartment looks like it has one room with a kitchenette and a separate bedroom, as well as a bathroom with a bathtub. It doesn't look big, but it looks clean.

''There's a bike room at the bottom of the building and at least she won't say anything if I stain the floor with my paint. What do you think, baby?"

Robbe looks at the pictures, trying to imagine himself living there. Willem is wriggling in his arms so Robbe hugs him a little more without taking his eyes off the phone. He feels like crying because it's just unbelievable that something like this would happen to him. He wants to tell Robbe who arrived in Milan's flatshare, almost a year and a half ago, that he shouldn't worry, that everything will be fine. 

''You don't want to anymore? Did I go too fast? I'm sorry, Robbe, we should have talked about it again, I''

Robbe pulls Sander towards him and crushes his lips against his.

''Of course I want to, idiot! Sounds perfect. Yes. Yes. 100Times yes."

A knock is knocked on his door and Robbe looks at his mother who seems perplexed.

"Am I interrupting a proposal?"

Sander bursts out laughing, shaking his head and takes his phone back to show it to Robbe's mother.

"My drawing teacher suggested that we rent this apartment after Christmas. It's really below market prices and not far from here, and''

Robbe watches his mother hugging Sander and then opening one arm to signal him to come. And as they are all four of them in a tight embrace in the middle of his room, Robbe feels a tear running down his cheek.

''Mom? Are you crying?"

His mother shakes her head as she dries her tears and smiles.

''I'm really happy for you two, but I'm going to miss you. I feel like I'm so much better now that we're living together."

''We won't be far away, we''

''I know. And it's normal that you want to be together. I'm really happy for you, my Robbe. Come on, let's go celebrate. I'm gonna call your dad."

And for the first time since their separation, his mother called his father to tell him the news. And for once, there is no shouting, no arguing, nothing is said to try to hurt the other. There are just two parents happy to talk about their son, and frankly, it's also something Robbe never thought he'd hear. He looks at Sander who gives Willem his bottle and wraps his arms around him, putting his cheek against his own.

''You make my life so wonderful.''

Sander looks at him with an amused smile.

''You know we have to give him back, right?''

Robbe laughs and hits him on the arm.

''I was talking to you, idiot. Oh Sander...''

His mother starts laughing, putting the phone back on the table.

''I'm really going to miss you two very much.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sounds like a goodbye?...maybe I'm getting ready to stop this fic...it's got to end sometime, right?


	51. We will be able to sleep again every night.

_Saturday, December 12th 8:58 am_

Robbe wakes up and like every morning, he stretches out his arm before opening his eyes but this morning, he jumps and opens his eyes. Because his hand has just touched Sander's chest and it hasn't happened since what seems like an eternity.

"Sander?"

Sander frowns and grunts before opening his eyes.

"Who were you expecting?"

Robbe sits down and looks at the other side of Sander but it's only the crumpled sheets.

"Willem?"

Sander sits down in one go and looks at Robbe.

"I haven't woken up all night."

Robbe makes a surprised noise before answering.

"Neither did I."

They get out of bed and bump into each other when they try to get out of the bedroom at the same time. They come to Willem's bed almost running and smile when they realize that the little boy is sleeping peacefully, his chest going up and down with every breath. 

Sander puts his hand gently on the boy's forehead and pushes Robbe out of the room, into their bedroom.

"He just slept through the night" Robbe says, chuckling "It feels weird."

Sander pulls him so that they both lie back in bed.

"It feels good."

Robbe nods and gets closer to Sander by mixing their legs together and then he kisses him on the neck.

"I know something else that feels good."

Sander chuckles as he squirms because the kisses in the neck tickle him and then tries to look more serious.

"Oh, yeah?"

Robbe nods, biting Sander's neck, moving his hips so his cock touches Sander's. 

Sander's cell phone gives out a first notification ping, but they don't pay any attention to it. At the third ping Robbe reaches out his arm to grab it and give it to Sander. But all three messages are displayed on the screen and even though he knew it would happen soon, he immediately feels sad.

"What is it, baby?"

Robbe gives him his phone and sits down in bed, immediately imitated by Sander.

_Lara 9:07am_

_Mom is so much better that she told me to go home._  
_I'm leaving home today._  
_I should get Willem back in 10 days if I'm still negative._

Sander looks at Robbe and drops the phone to come and take him in his arms.

"Soon we will be able to sleep again every night."

Robbe nods but sighs.

"I know. But I'm going to miss him."

Sander squeezes him a little tighter.

"I know, baby. But he won't be far away. Soon all this shit will be gone and he can come over to our house during the day but at night he'll go back to screaming in my sister's ears and we can have quiet sex."

Robbe smiles and sits on his boyfriend's thighs. 

''You're right. And I'm going to wake up every morning next to you.''

Sander moans, as much as if Robbe was saying sexual things to him and that makes Robbe smile.

''And that, for the rest of my life.''

Sander turns them over so quickly that Robbe lets out a high-pitched scream.

''I'll fall asleep in your arms every night.'' Sander says before kissing him ''I'm so lucky.''

Sander's cell phone starts ringing. He quickly glances at it and then almost jumps on it so he can pick it up. A familiar little scream can be heard across the hallway, so Robbe stands up, wondering who Sander is talking to, because it is obvious it is not someone in his family.

Willem wiggles in his bed and starts smiling as soon as he sees Robbe holding out his arms to him.

"Hi, little boy. You're going to be happy, normally you'll soon be able to go back home with your mommy. She must miss you so much."

He hugs the little boy and Willem immediately grabs a strand of hair and tries to put it in his mouth.

"I'm not going to miss the drool, but I'm going to miss you, buddy. Okay, your diaper's going to explode. I'm not gonna miss that much either."

Robbe almost reaches the bathroom when Sander jumps up to him, overexcited.

''You can see it! You can see it! I'm so happy."

Robbe puts one arm on Sander's shoulder and he calms down almost immediately and takes a big smile.

''We can visit the apartment this afternoon at 2pm if we want. The kitchen is being renovated but she says that we can see if it suits us or not. Do you want to?''

Robbe rolls his eyes and smiles.

''Of course I want.''

Robbe looks at Sander and that's when he realizes it's really happening. They are really going to live together. This is at least one of the advantages of lockdown, living with Sander doesn't scare him.

''Well, my three favorite boys slept well this morning! Are you coming to eat?"

Robbe look at his mother and feels a huge ball filling his stomach. Living with Sander doesn't scare him, but leaving his mother alone really scares him. His aunt was supposed to return to Antwerp in mid-January and it would be rather selfish to ask her to come beforehand so that he can leave, but maybe he can ask Sander to wait until she has arrived so that they can move there.

''We're coming'' answers Sander with a smile.

''Ok, I prepare the coffees.''

Sander quickly kisses Robbe's lips, too excited to be able to do it gently.

''I'm too happy. It would be great if we started the New Year at our place. Our home. Oh that's so good to hear."

Sander goes to the kitchen, probably to prepare Willem's bottle and Robbe stays with the baby in the hallway, again feeling like he has to choose between his mother and his boyfriend. He feels that whatever he decides to do will be a bad decision. If he leaves his mother alone and something happens, he will never forgive himself, and if he makes Sander sad, he will blame himself too.

Why does everything always seem so complicated?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is...this fic with a definite number of chapters...I prepare you psychologically at the end...I thought I would go until the first of the year, but finally it will stop after Christmas. 
> 
> We still have 9 chapters left to enjoy a little more...


	52. What do you think?

_Saturday, December 12, 1:42 pm_

Robbe slips his hand into Sander's hand and he immediately feels soothed. As usual, with this simple touch his boyfriend manages to wrap him in a reassuring presence.

"No pressure, baby, okay? Just because she'd rent it to us without a problem doesn't mean we have to say yes right away. We must feel good there. Are you listening to me? Robin, are you okay?"

Robbe nods and smiles under his mask because even though Sander says they shouldn't rush, his whole body screams with excitement. Robbe shakes her boyfriend's hand a little harder in his.

"Of course I'm okay."

Sander squints to look at him but they arrive on the street in question, so he doesn't have time to tell Robbe that he's lying. Robbe doesn't really lie anyway, he's just worried because even though his mother says she'll be fine on her own, he can't help worrying that something will happen.

Robbe immediately spots the woman in her 40s who's making grand gestures to them. She is wearing a mask full of paint stains and frankly the closer Robbe gets to her, the less he can tell if they are stains she has done or if it is the mask that was made that way. Maybe both.

"Oh Sander it's so nice to see you again in real. I miss seeing you and all your other classmates so much. I really hope the university will open its doors again soon."

Sander nods and Robbe smiles because he knows how much his boyfriend is looking forward to going back to class.

"And Robbe I guess. I'm delighted to meet you, you can call me Amelia."

Robbe smiles a little more even though it doesn't show, Amelia must be able to read it in her eyes because she smiles so much too.

"As I said to Sander, I'm offering it to you but nothing forces you to say yes. In fact that's where my mother lived before she went to the retirement home so it's a bit old-fashioned."

She pushes the door of a building and Robbe immediately spots the elevator, thinking it's a good thing, but instead of stopping in front of it, Amelia crosses the entire lobby of the building and they go out into a small courtyard.

On the other side of the courtyard there is a tiny house and Amelia opens the door.

"Wait?" Sander stop her "isn't it an apartment?"

Amelia nods and giggles.

"Oh yeah, don't worry when you see how small it's you'll regret not living on the top floor of the building where there's a 200 m2 loft. Go ahead, I'll let you two discover it, you'll soon see that you can't get lost."

They enter the little house hand in hand and arrive directly into the kitchen.

"With my husband, we are making an integrated kitchen so that there will be all the necessary appliances, fridge, oven and even a dishwasher. All we have to do is put a table in this corner and the kitchen will be ready for use."

Robbe turns around to look at Amelia who has stayed outside and nods. 

"Are you going to put gas or electric plates?"

Amelia looks at him astonished and then has to smile because her eyes wrinkle slightly.

"There's town gas. This is not your first apartment?"

Robbe shakes his head and Sander lets go of his hand to go and open one of the two doors we see in this room.

"No, I lived in a flatshare last year."

Amelia nods and Robbe joins Sander who has opened the bathroom door. 

"The bathroom opens directly into the kitchen." Sander remarked "isn't that weird?"

Robbe shrugs his shoulders. Maybe it's a bit weird, but the bathroom is clean even though the blue flowered tiles look a bit old. Above all, he can already imagine himself taking a bubble bath with his boyfriend. And that's when an idea crossed his mind, he had never actually thought about it.

"Do you think taking a bath would be easier for you after an episode than taking a shower?"

Sander looks at the bathtub and nods. 

"Maybe. Maybe it will be easier than stay standing in the shower. Yes, I think so."

Robbe caresses his arm with a smile and they go out, go through the kitchen to open the second door. There is a large room that must be three times the size of the kitchen. The walls must have been white at one time but now they are grey or yellow in places.

"Is this supposed to be the bedroom?" Robbe asks. "It's huge."

Sander goes around nodding.

"We have plenty of room to put our bed over there, make me a drawing corner over there and put the TV and a sofa in that corner so you can play. We could even watch TV from our bed."

Robbe bursts out laughing and puts his arms around Sander's waist, putting his chin on his shoulder.

"And no desks? Oh fuck, what if we have to work in two different rooms like now?"

Sander hesitates and then points to the last corner in the room.

"Ok, so I put my desk and my drawing stuff over there and you put your desk in that corner. If the situation is still the same in January one of us can still work from the kitchen."

Robbe nods with a smile.

"Yeah, that's right."

Robbe looks at the room and smiles.

"If we can paint to make it cleaner, it might be nice, right?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders, much less excited than before.

"I don't know. How are you going to handle having your friends over when I have an episode?"

Robbe rolls his eyes and hug Sander in his arms.

"First of all, I don't think I would invite anyone if you have an episode because I know you don't like to see people in those cases. And if I really have to do it, it'll be for work, so we'll just sit around the kitchen table."

Because of his mask, Robbe can't say whether Sander agrees with what he just said or not, and he doesn't have time to ask him to let Sander look at the room again before he goes out and goes back to the bathroom.

They meet in the kitchen and Robbe takes Sander's hand in his.

"What do you think?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders and sighs.

"I don't know if I love it because it's the first one I've visited and I already imagine myself living here with you or if it's because it's really nice and we could really be happy here?"

Robbe smiles and pulls Sander in his arms. 

"I would be happy living with you, no matter what apartment."

Sander rolls his eyes and giggles.

"Even if it is full of cockroaches or mice?"

Robbe makes a disgusted look that Sander has to guess even with his mask on because he starts laughing.

"Ok." grants Robbe "maybe not just any but here I really think it can do it. At least we won't be bothered by the neighbors."

Sander starts laughing even more before he kisses Robbe, pulling their masks off at the same time.

"I think you meant we won't bother the neighbors. Because it's clear that Bowie is going to be able to make some noise here. Oh no, even worse, imagine an evening with Broeers here..."

Robbe chuckles as he puts his mask back on before going out. It's clear that an apartment like this it will quickly become the Broerrs' landmark.

"So?" asks Amelia "Do you like it? You also have the little shed there, to store your bikes."

They look at the little shed next to the house and nod at the same time.

"Do you think we could repaint the big room?"

Amelia nods immediately.

"Do you want to repaint it, like white or make me a mural?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders intrigued.

"Can I?"

Amelia nods.

"If you submit the project to me first, without any problem. My husband works in a hardware store, so he can get you the paint you need, and if it's okay for you, we'll waive the December and January rent for the time you spend painting. In this case, we can give you the keys at the beginning of the vacations and I leave it to you to repaint the kitchen as well."

Sander agrees immediately.

"But even though he's really very handsome, I don't want Robbe's head on one of my walls."

Sander bursts out laughing, and Robbe can already see that he's thinking about what he wants to do.

"Can I film it?" Ask Robbe "To show our parents?"

Amelia nods and Robbe goes around the apartment again, filming. 

"We have to see with our respective parents." Said Robbe, closing the door behind him, "But I think we'd be fine here."

"If you get an answer by tomorrow at the latest, is that okay?" Ask Sander.

Amelia nodded and locked the door.

"Of course, I won't advertise before Christmas anyway. Take some time to think it over."

Robbe and Sander leave hand in hand and Robbe oscillates between joy at having found a perfect place for them and worry. He's afraid that his father won't approve, or that Sander's parents, who don't even know about this visit, will finally say that it's a bad idea; but he is also afraid that everyone agrees and that after Christmas they can move in there and his mother will be left alone. 

And frankly, he doesn't know what scares him most about all this. But since he doesn't want to be afraid, he huddles up with Sander, who puts an arm around his shoulders, and Robbe knows that everything will be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the perfect description of my second apartment...how I liked it! The walls must still remember the parties organized there...
> 
> Sander and Robbe would be fine in this love nest, wouldn't they?


	53. But....?

_Saturday, December 12, 6:54 p.m_

"It's okay with us."

Robbe feels his heart beating a little faster as he watches Sander's parents smiling across the screen. They had the nice surprise to see that Sander's father came home from the hospital today. He wanted to surprise his children tomorrow during Sunday brunch. And even though he has definitely lost weight and still seems exhausted, it's good to see him at home.

"I wish I had a first apartment like this." Says Sander's mother: "Our first apartment was an 18 square meter studio and the only way not to be together was to go to the bathroom. It was so small that you could go to the toilet and brush your teeth in the sink at the same time."

Sander's father laughs and coughs a little before looking at his wife.

"We were still good together."

They rub their noses together and Sander smiles. Normally Robbe would also smile to see them looking so cute, but now he's too stressed for that. His phone vibrates and his stress takes it up a notch.

_Dad. 7:01pm_

_It's okay with me._   
_The rent is really cheap._   
_If you want bigger, I can pay more, but if you like this one, I like too._   
_I'm proud of you. You two.  
_

"My dad agrees."

Robbe wishes he had a more cheerful voice and a bigger smile because he's really happy, but he's also a nervous wreck at the thought of leaving his mother alone so he lowers his head to breathe in the smell of Willem sitting on his lap.

"Great." Sander's mother exclaims, "My baby is going to get his first apartment."

Sander grunts and rolls his eyes.

"Don't call me like that."

Robbe smiles and Sander gently takes his hand.

"Ok, we'll leave you alone, Willem will want to eat. See you tomorrow anyway."

Sander's parents greet them and Robbe takes Willem's hand to say goodbye to his grandparents. Sander closes the computer and turns to Robbe.

"I need you to talk to me, Robbe. Don't keep to yourself, you'll explode. I can see you're not well."

Robbe sighs and gets up to sit on his bed. He puts Willem next to him and opens his arms so that Sander can come and snuggle in. Sander sits in his arms and waits, patiently playing with Robbe's necklace.

"I'm really looking forward to living with you and I think this place is going to be perfect."

Sander raises his head to look at him and puts his forehead against his own.

"But...?"

Robbe sighs.

"But I'm afraid to leave my mother alone. And if something happens. What if she isn't well in the middle of the night and she's looking for that fucking picture everywhere? She needs me, I can't just abandon her."

Sander puts his hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at him.

"Hey, nobody's asking you to do that, Robin, especially not me."

Robbe leans forward and Sander wraps his arms around him.

"It's all right, baby. No one abandons anyone, okay?"

Robbe nods against his shoulder and Sander smiles because he sees that Robbe puts one hand on Willem's belly because the little boy starts to wiggle.

"But maybe if she tells you she can live alone, you just have to trust her, right?"

Robbe sighs and looks up at Sander. 

"It's not like you, she doesn't know in advance when she starts to feel bad. She just doesn't want to stop me from being happy."

Sander gently caresses his cheek and lays their foreheads together.

"Still, she remains in control of her decisions, Robbe. I know it's hard, and indeed maybe sometimes she'll screw up, but you can't decide for her."

Robbe pouting because he knows that Sander is right, but he can't help worrying.

"You have to talk to her, Robbe. Tell her what worries you. We'll wait until your aunt arrives if that makes you feel good."

Robbe shakes his head and takes Willem against him because he starts to whine.

"I don't want to put you in second place. I want to make you happy too."

Sander grabs the baby boy and takes him in his arms.

"I'll make you something to eat, Robbe has to talk to his mother."

Robbe sighs and Sander comes back to kiss him.

"Don't worry, baby, everything will be alright. I'm always happy with you. We always find solutions."

Robbe gets up with a sigh and follows them to the kitchen, but as his mother isn't in the main room, Robbe knocks gently at the door of his room.

"Come in."

Robbe pushes the door and enters the room. His mother is sitting in front of her computer, and his aunt is waving at him through the computer.

"Robbe, it's so good to see you."

"Hi aunt Olie."

"What's up? How's your fathering internship going?"

"Robbe is so amazing." Answers his mother before it's time to open his mouth. "It's like it's natural for him and Sander to take care of the baby."

Robbe giggles because it's anything but natural, but he tries his best.

"In any case, thank you, Robbe." Said his aunt smiling, "Thanks to you I won't spend New Year's Eve alone. Brussels has gone completely mad, I can't wait to go home."

Robbe frowns and the two women laugh.

"I thought I'd wait for my transfer to come, but since I'm teleworking all week, it doesn't change anything that I'm moving before. Watch out Antwerp, Auntie Olie arrives on December 27th."

Robbe is stunned in front of the screen and his mother strokes his arm.

"I knew you wouldn't leave as long as I was alone so I asked Olie to come early."

Robbe sits down and runs a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry to change your plans, Olie, I"

"Ssshtt Robbe, you've taken care of your mother enough as it's. Now you take care of yourself and my favorite tattoo designer and I'll take care of my little sister."

Robbe puts his hand on his mother's shoulder and smiles at his aunt, thanking them both, before joining Sander in the kitchen. Willem's sitting in his baby chair so Robbe jumps into the arms of Sander, who catches him in flight, dropping the tea towel he was holding on the floor. Robbe kisses him all over his face, feeling the joy overflowing from his whole body.

"We're going to live together!"

It's a fucking cry of joy coming out of his mouth and he feels like he can never stop feeling that joy deep inside.

''We're gonna live together!"


	54. You make me the best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you are well. I'm starting to imagine how to write the end of this fic , and it makes me feel weird...so today, a chapter with our two lovers, just them

_Sunday, 13 December 00:12 am_

"I want us to take my bed just so I can do this."

Robbe closes the handcuffs around Sander's second wrist and he finds himself hooked from the bars of his bed. 

"Yours doesn't have bars, we can't do that."

Robbe doesn't wait for an answer and kisses Sander's chest which is already moving from the hips underneath him. 

"Why am I always the one who gets tied up?"

Robbe chuckles and steps back slightly to look at Sander. He's completely naked, except for the fact that he is wearing the shoulder harness and handcuffs.

"You are so beautiful."

Sander rolls his eyes, impatient.

"Are you going to stare at me or take care of me?"

Robbe raises his eyebrows twice, wanting to hesitate even though they both know he doesn't. Robbe takes his most naughty smile and straightens up a little more. 

"What if you're the one who takes care of me?"

Sander tries to move his handcuffed hands and then looks at Robbe.

"You'll have to untie me for that, baby."

Robbe shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

"Or I could come to you, couldn't I?"

Sander sits down a bit more, as much as he can because of the handcuffs and nods.

"Yeah. Come on."

Robbe walks up to him but stops just before he puts his dick in his mouth.

"How do I know it's too much for you?"

Sander looks up to the sky, sticking out his tongue to lick the tip of his dick.

"It won't be too much."

Robbe steps back slightly and Sander sighs.

"Ok, I'll slap your thigh with my leg. Come on, come in my mouth, don't make me beg."

Robbe laughs and pushes his dick inside Sander's mouth, slipping a hand through his hair. He doesn't really pull it out, but holds it tight between his fingers. Sander twirls his tongue around Robbe's dick while taking it deep inside, making the younger one moan. Sander stops moving and nods his head slightly so it's Robbe who starts moving, trying not to go too deep so as not to hurt his boyfriend, but having a hard time not doing so because it's really good. When Sander yawns for the second time, Robbe withdraws and bends over to come and lick his cock.

''I could go on.''

Robbe shakes his head, licking his base and then under his balls, all the way to his ass.

''No, I'm going to take care of you, now.''

Robbe doesn't wait for an answer before licking Sander's hole again, who moans, banging his head against the headboard in the process.

''Damn right, Robin. You take care of me so good."

Robbe licks his fingers as Sander looks at him before dipping them in and Sander seems to be ready to come.

''Fuck...so hot...angel...uh..."

Robbe takes his cock in his mouth without stopping moving his fingers, causing even more moaning that Sander tries to choke. He comes back to his mouth, bites his lower lip before kissing him.

"Soon you'll be able to moan without having to be discreet.''

Sander smiles before kissing hom again.

''Come inside me, baby. I need you."

Robbe kisses him and then grabs the tube of lubricant from the bedside table and turns Sander over so he is on all fours. Except that Robbe had completely forgotten about the handcuffs, so Sander's arms find themselves crossed in a weird position.

''Shit, sorry. Wait, I''

Sander shakes his head, digging his pelvis a little more, giving his body an obscene, but downright exciting curvature.

''No, that's good. Come into me."

Robbe joins him immediately, enters him gently but quickly increases his rhythm by holding on to the harness.

''Fuck, Robbe, touch me.''

Robbe just strokes Sander's dick, with a light touch, making his boyfriend grunt before stroking him as fast as he fucks him, delivering a few kisses in his neck as he passes by. He comes out completely before coming back as deep as possible and the moaning that Sander makes must be heard all over the house. Robbe puts a hand in front of his mouth but does it again and the third time Sander comes in his hand. Robbe almost lies down on top of him to intertwine his fingers with Sander's, even though their hands are on top of each other and comes into Sander, biting his earlobe. He lets himself fall on his back, but Sander moans, painfully this time.

"My arms."

Robbe rolls to the side and undoes the handcuffs before kissing his wrists.

''Sorry, sorry, sorry."

Sander laughs and kisses him.

"Don't worry, it's fine."

Robbe raises an eyebrow and smiles.

"Just fine? That sounded pretty great, didn't it?"

Sander laughs and hugs him.

''Totally awesome. I can't wait to mke love with you without having to control our noise level."

Robbe rolls his eyes and rubs their noses together.

''It's not like you really held back tonight. I think the whole of Antwerp heard you."

Sander laughs and caresses Robbe's cheek.

''Maybe, yeah. I'm not even sorry about that. It was just too good. You're the best."

Robbe smiles before he kisses him, intertwining their hands together.

''You make me the best. And not just in bed."

Sander puts his head on his shoulder and yawns.

''I love you. And okay, we'll take your bed. Anyway, it's better that mine stays with my parents, if I have to go in their home I''

Robbe moves his shoulder in one go, forcing Sander to raise his head to look at him.

''Why should you go in their home?''

Sander shrugs his shoulders.

''I don't know. Imagine if it becomes too complicated for you to''

Robbe puts a finger on his lips while frowning the eyebrows.

''I don't want to hear that. We're going to live together, episode or not, hard or not. No break, no pause, okay? We're going to solve our problems together. Nobody runs away."

Sander sighs but Robbe takes his chin so he can look at him.

''Promise me, babe. You and me, 100%. No matter what happens."

Sander smiles and hugs Robbe.

''100%. Promise."

Sander rests his head and Robbe gently strokes his hair.

"Maybe one day you'll understand that you'll never be too much for me, Sander."

Sander answers nothing and when Robbe looks at him the next time, he sleeps and he has a sweet smile engraved on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a nice day ! I'm going to prepare tomorrow's chapter, so I'll just post it quickly, between the opening of the presents and the Christmas cake... I wanted to talk about our favorite couple's choice of Christmas tree... so see you tomorrow!


	55. Let's go get a Christmas tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish you all a Merry Christmas, I hope you can spend it with your family and friends despite this pandemic.
> 
> Have a nice day!

_Friday, December 18th, 5h05pm  
_

"I'm on vacations!"

Robbe comes out of his bedroom shouting like a kid and jumps into the arms of Sander who comes out of the guest room, surely lured out of the room where he works by Robbe's screams. This week has gone horribly slowly. now that Robbe knows he's going to move in with Sander, he's just impatient. They sign the papers and collect the keys tomorrow so that they can paint during the holidays. Sander hasn't told him what he's planning for the mural, but Robbe knows it'll be great.

"I'm on vacations!" Screams Robbe again in Sander's arms.

Sander supports him under his thighs and kisses him gently.

"Vacation always governed by the lockdown, baby."

Robbe shakes his head and smiles.

"A vacation where I'm going to paint and then move into our apartment with my boyfriend!"

Sander smiles and slaps Robbe against the wall to kiss him. A little scream is heard in the guest room and Robbe immediately bends over to look inside.

"Doesn't my mother look after Willem?"

Sander shakes his head and releases Robbe's legs. 

"I was a bit shaken up after my appointment, it feels good to have him with me."

Robbe takes Sander's hand in his and they walk together into the room where Willem smiles and tries to catch the mice hanging on his portico. They sit down next to him and Robbe tenderly caresses Sander's cheek.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Sander smiles and shakes his head. 

"No, not now. It's getting better."

Sander moves one of the mice slightly over Willem and the little boy opens his eyes wide before clapping his hands and feet, happy.

"It's going to feel weird staying here without him. My sister is doing her last test on Monday, if she's still negative, she'll come back for him."

Robbe rests his hand on Sander's cheek and huddles in it. And with that gesture alone, Robbe knows that his boyfriend is sad.

"We'll be able to sleep through the night and no more baby vomit on our clothes."

Sander looks up at Robbe and smiles.

"You say that, but you will miss him as much as I do."

Robbe nods.

"Of course I do. But he will always live in Antwerp, and soon all this shit will be over and he can come home with us."

Sander giggles and kisses Robbe's hand.

"Come on, let's get dressed." Robbe says, "Let's go get a Christmas tree. It's sad here. Sander Driesen won't celebrate Christmas without a decorated tree."

Sander takes a big smile and stands up, taking Willem in his arms.

"Uncle Robbe is right, we need a Christmas tree. Let's go get it."

In less than 30 minutes all three are dressed and arrive at the nearest garden center. Robbe moves between the trees but finds nothing that suits him.

"Having a baby at his age, it's unbelievable to see that."

Robbe turns around, immediately frowning his eyes at the couple looking at him and Willem in his stroller.

"Robin, you find what you like?"

The couple widens their eyes as they watch Sander put his arm around Robbe's shoulders. 

"Oh, poor baby, do you realize that"

"Do you have a problem?" asks Robbe in his driest voice.

Sander jumps at the same time as the couple, who move slightly backwards, averting their eyes.

"Baby, are you okay?"

Robbe nods and pulls Willem out of his stroller to take him up against him.

"With the lockdown I forgot that I hate people.Always judging others. I'm hot, I feel like I'm suffocating under this mask.Can we go home?"

Sander hugs him and kisses his cheek tenderly.

"What about your tree, baby? Don't let two jerk erase your smile. How do you want you Christmas tree?"

Robbe turns pouting and walks down the aisles, Willem still in his arms, while Sander walks right behind them with the stroller.

"That one."

Sander bursts out laughing but nods.

"Won't your mother think that's weird?"

Robbe shrugs and smiles.

"She's used with us. It'll make her smile, but we can keep it after Christmas, and we won't have a dead tree in the middle of the living room. It's environmentally friendly. Different, but also beautiful. I like it."

Sander nods and laughs.

"Ok."

Robbe turns around to take a better look at him.

"Really?"

Sander nods and smiles a little more.

"Of course. Whatever makes you happy. And then he's like you: tender on the inside but pungent on the outside."

Robbe rolls his eyes as he rests Willem in his stroller to carry their beautiful Christmas cactus. He looks at Sander and laughs. They have a Christmas cactus.

''Bowie was right.'' laughs Sander ''We don't know where we're going, but we know it won't be boring. That I love life with you, Robbe Ijzermans.''


	56. His place is at your side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone,I hope you had a great Christmas!
> 
> This story is coming to an end, but I don't want to end on a sad note, so I hope you'll like it...

_Sunday, December 20, 11:12 a.m._

Robbe bursts out laughing and Sander starts laughing along with him, which leads to Willem's laughter.

"You see, Willem, Robbe is just extremely ticklish. So it works every time."

Sander tickles him again and Robbe laughs so hard that he can't breathe.

"Stop it, stop it."

Sander takes his fingers out and raises an eyebrow.

"Ok, then say it."

Robbe shakes his head and even though he tries to get up, because Sander is sitting on top of him, he tickles him again without any effort, causing him to laugh again.

"Say it and I'll stop."

Robbe pinches his lips to try to hold back but Sander brings his hands up to his armpits and Robbe cracks.

"OK, you win. I'm more ticklish than a baby."

Sander takes his victorious look and turns again to Willem who is lying on the bed right next to them.

"See, that's how you make a man crack."

Robbe pushes him and pretends to take Willem in his arms but at the last moment his hands come up to Sander's waist and he doesn't have time to take them off.

Sander falls from the bed onto the floor as soon as Robbe starts tickling him and Robbe straddles him while continuing to tickle him. Willem's laughter resounds as loud as Sander's, but Sander's laughter is punctuated by few "stop it."

The door to Robbe's room was not closed and it opens slowly. Robbe raises his head to look at his mother smiling.

"I see you're having fun. I'm going to buy some bread, be good. Be careful it doesn't fall off the bed."

Robbe nods and starts tickling Sander again as soon as his mother disappears from his sight.

"All right, all right, I'm the most ticklish. Stop it. Stop it."

Robbe bends over to kiss Sander and the moment he stands up, Willem rolls from his back to his stomach and falls straight into his arms.

"He almost fell out of bed." Says Sander with a smile ''Oh my god, you almost dropped it!''

"Nonsense. It was under control. Don't tell your sister."

Sander smiles and sits down as much as he can because Robbe is still sitting on his thighs.

"My sister will be so happy to find him that she won't even listen to me."

And indeed, the next day when Lara arrives at 10 o'clock, having done her last test which came back negative, she starts screaming so loudly as she takes her son in her arms that Robbe thinks that Sander was right.

"Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Oh my baby, you've grown so much."

Willem starts laughing and Lara widens her eyes before looking at them.

"Yeah, he does that." Says Sander as he runs a hand through his hair, "We wanted you to be surprised to hear that."

Lara smiles and looks at her son in her arms.

"Does he do other new things?"

"He walked." Says Sander before bursting out laughing.

Robbe elbows him and smiles at Lara.

"He has two teeth on top, but we've already told you that. I promise you he's always the same one : always throwing up half his morning bottle and trying to eat our hair."

Lara laughs and puts her hand on Robbe's shoulder.

"Thank you again. You must feel relieved that he's leaving again?"

Robbe looks at Willem pouting.

"I told you Robbe has filled out the adoption papers." Sander Laughs "We're really going to miss him."

Robbe smiles and Lara gives the little boy back to him.

"I promise, he will soon come and spend a day with his favorite uncles. Don't tell Tobias I said that."

The three of them burst out laughing and Sander helps his sister to put all the baby's things in her car while Robbe gently rocks Willem. Robbe's mother picks him up to say goodbye so Robbe helps them fill the car, still shocked to see how many things can have such a little baby. 

"Here's Robbe, I'll leave you with your family." Said his mother as she gave the little boy back to him, "I hope to see you soon, Willem."

Robbe takes the little boy in his arms and sighs when he sees Sander and Lara coming back in the house, so he gives him a kiss on the forehead ready to leave him.

"See you soon, my little buddy, I can't wait to see you again."

Willem grabs his necklace and Sander gently takes it off his hands.

"This is still mine. Always trying to steal Robbe from me, right? Come here."

Sander takes him in his arms and gives him a big hug before he sighs with tears in his eyes.

"Sander, don't do that, I don't like to see you sad," says his sister as she takes him in her arms. "We even live close by, it's not like you won't see him again. You'll always be his uncle and don't worry, as soon as the restaurants open again, I'll leave him with you for a whole weekend to enjoy and see my girlfriends again."

Sander nods and leaves his sister's embrace, giving Willem in her arms to come and snuggle in Robbe's arms.

"Please Sander, take care of yourself all right. I don't want you to feel bad after this."

Sander nods with a little smile and Robbe strokes his shoulder. 

"Don't worry," says Robbe, putting his head against Sander's. "This afternoon we're going to start painting our apartment, that will keep us busy. We were very happy to take care of him, but his place is at your side."

Lara smiles and puts her hand on Robbe's shoulder. 

"And Sander's place is with you, it's so obvious that I'm jealous."

Robbe smiles, tightening his arm around his boyfriend.

"Yeah. This one, I'd never let him go for sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little Willem has found his mother...and our favorite couple is getting ready to go to their love nest....
> 
> an idea for the murale painting of their living room? All suggestions are welcome!


	57. This is our home.

_Monday 21 December 2:12 pm_

"Are you sure Sander's ok?"

Robbe looks at his mother and shrugs his shoulders.

"It's going to be ok. Willem's departure upset him. I'm going to see him."

His mother smiles tenderly and nods. 

"He barely has any food. He worries me. If your move has to wait, there's no problem, you know."

Robbe smiles and nods.

"I know, Mom. I'll take care of him."

Robbe crosses the hallway and knocks gently on the guest room door.

"You can come in, baby."

Robbe gently pushes the door and Sander greets him with a big smile.

"Sander? Are you alright?"

Sander nods and shows him what he's just finished drawing.

"Wow, that's beautiful. Is it for me?"

Sander shakes his head and smiles.

"No, silly. That's what Lucas asked me. With Willem I didn't have time to finish but as we going to see him, I wanted to give it to him."

Robbe frowns slightly.

"Why are we going to see Lucas?"

Sander takes a huge smile.

"Jens and Lucas come to help us paint. Lucas owed me a favor and Jens wants to help us because he is your best friend. If we want everything to be finished by the 27th, we need help."

Robbe nods and caresses the nape of Sander's neck, busy finishing the smallest details of his drawing, which is already perfect.

"What do you think Lucas will do with it?"

Sander stops and smiles and shows the drawing again.

"It's for a new tattoo."

Robbe looks at the drawing differently this time, imagining it tattooed.

"Wow, that's really beautiful. I can't wait to turn 18."

Sander rolls his eyes and stands up to take Robbe in his arms, placing their foreheads against each other.

"I couldn't tease you about your age anymore."

Robbe smiles a little more.

"Precisely. But I'm sure you'll always tease me because I'm younger than you. Are you ready to go?"

Sander nods and gently rolls the sheet.

"Yeah. We have to get some outfits that don't suck at paint and let's go."

They leave with a bag containing two old Robbe's pants and two worn T-shirts he hasn't worn for a long time, as well as four beers and four sodas.

When they arrive in front of their house, Robbe shakes Sander's hand a little harder in his hand before unlocking the door.

"I don't believe it, it's getting real."

Sander opens the door and shows him the paint pots waiting for them in the kitchen.

"Oh yeah, totally real. If this is a dream, don't wake me up. Never."

Robbe laughs as he enters behind Sander and looks at their apartment. The kitchen looks really nice now that it's finished and Amelia has even given them an extra table and chairs so it's 100% functional.

The living room is completely empty and looks even bigger.

"I guess we'll start without them." Says Sander as he takes off his sweater, "Can I have the DIY clothes?"

Sander takes off his shirt and Robbe closes the door separating the room from the kitchen before huddling up to him and kissing him languorously.

"Robbe, they're coming, and..."

Sander stops as soon as Robbe slips his hand into his jeans, caressing him through his boxer shorts.

"We are both alone at home. This is our home. Our first home."

Sander moans because Robbe slips his hand into his boxer shorts and Robbe bites his neck lightly. 

"I don't want them"

"Shh, we have time. I want to enjoy my boyfriend in our first apartment."

Sander laughs and tries to take off Robbe's clothes but Robbe stops him. 

"Just for you, Sander, let me do it."

Robbe pushes him against the wall and takes his pants off before he takes his half hard cock out and takes it in his mouth.

"You like the idea of us living together, don't you?"

Robbe nods and keeps sucking Sander's growing dick in his mouth.

"I like it too. Fuck, Robin, you're doing it too fucking well."

Robbe licks him gently and then caresses him by tapping Sander's dick on his tongue. Sander puts one hand in his hair and holds it tight. It doesn't hurt, but it feels like Sander sets the rhythm when Robbe takes it in his mouth.

"Oh yeah. Yes like that. Fuck, Robbe. I love you."

Robbe caresses Sander's buttocks while taking him as much as possible, until his forehead touches Sander's belly.

Sander moves his hips, moaning.

"Oh Robbe. Fuck, yes."

Robbe turns his tongue around the tip of his dick and Sander comes moaning.

Robbe licks him one last time before pulling his boxer shorts up and Sander immediately kisses him, touching his cock through his pants. 

"Guys, are you finished?"

Jens' voice startled Robbe who walks away from Sander, after having kissed him on the cheek.

"Yeah. We were changing our clothes. We're on our way."

The laughter of Jens and Lucas is heard even before Robbe has finished his sentence and Sander starts laughing too.

"Ok, ok. Just two seconds."

Robbe quickly takes off his clothes and puts on his DIY outfit before opening the door separating the living room from the kitchen where Jens and Lucas wait for them with a smile. Lucas is stirring a pot of white paint and seems to be ready.

"Have you been here long ago?"

Jens raises an eyebrow and pretends to thinks.

"I think it was when Sander said _"yes, Robbe"_. You must have been helping him get dressed, right?"

Robbe hits his arm with a sigh and Jens laughs even harder.


	58. You are my Christmas present.

_Monday, December 21, 6:41 pm_

Robbe looks at Lucas and Jens leaving hand in hand before closing the door. Sander is in the main room and looks at a wall so carefully that Robbe is sure he's imagining what he wants to paint, once the white paint they just painted everywhere will be dry.

"Are you going to tell me before you do it or not?"

Sander shakes his head and smiles.

''No, I want it to be a surprise for you. I'm coming to paint this with two girls from my class on Wednesday. You'll find out about it on Saturday when you're moving here with me. How's that sound?"

Robbe nods with a smile.

"Very good. The couch will be delivered Wednesday afternoon, remember?

Sander kisses him before picking up his things from the floor.

''Of course I won't forget, I won't forget my future father-in-law's present.''

Robbe laughs as he rolls his eyes.

''I don't know if my father would like to hear that.''

Sander shrugs his shoulders and keeps smiling.

''Your father isn't bad. One day I'll marry you and I'm sure he'll be happy. But in the meantime, we have to thank him for his Christmas present, this couch will be perfect here."

Robbe nods with a smile and huddles up to Sander.

''I can't believe we're moving here. Only five days left!''

''And then only four days until you get your Christmas present...''

Robbe smiles while kissing Sander's neck.

''You are my Christmas present, I don't need anything else to be happy.''

Sander giggles as he caresses Robbe's hair.

''I swear that when you see my present you'll regret saying that.''

Robbe rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

''Nonsense, I don't need no present from you, babe. You're my present."

Sander sits down on one of the kitchen chairs, waving at Robbe to come and sit on his lap.

"Am I to understand that you won't be giving me a present at Christmas?"

Robbe laughs, caressing his cheek. 

"I'm going to give you the best Christmas present you've ever had. You always say that you love me more than you can possibly do, but I swear to you that after this you will love me even more."

Sander bursts out laughing as he looks at him.

''Oh yeah, that's all? You seem very sure of yourself.''

Robbe nods with a smile.

"I'm perfectly sure of myself. And I know you well enough to know that you're gonna scream and cry and tell me I'm the most beautiful thing that ever happened to you."

Sander now seems completely impatient and frowns, looking into Robbe's eyes, as if he can see what his boyfriend is hiding from him.

''Can you give me a hint?"

Robbe shakes his head and laughs.

"No."

Sander spends the next ten minutes teasing Robbe, trying to guess what he wants to give him, ranging from a new bike to art supplies, private cooking lessons or sex toys.

"Okay." Robbe sighs "just one clue."

Sander claps his hands, visibly happy to have changed his mind.

''It has something to do with Bowie.'' Declares Robbe with a smile.

Sander immediately loses his smile and shakes his head.

''It's too big, baby, it's all about Bowie. Come on, another clue..."

Robbe shakes his head while laughing and kisses Sander before walking towards the front door.

''Shall we go in? Come on, you'll get your present Friday under the tree, only four days to go."

Sander is downright impatient for the next three days, and frankly when they go to bed on December 24th after dinner with his mother, Robbe wonders if he hasn't teased Sander too much with this gift story.

"You're fine, aren't you?" Robbe asks, stroking his arm while they are both lying in bed, Sander lying half on top of him. "You're not too worried about tomorrow, are you?"

Sander shrugs his shoulders, pretending to think.

''It's starting to worry me a bit. I hope you like my present and that"

"Eh!'' Robbe cut him off ''It's not a competition, you know. Besides, I'd enjoy your gift a little bit too, so it's for both of us."

Sander smiles and gently caresses Robbe's chest.

''Same with your present. Let's hope it's not the same."

Robbe and Sander burst out laughing at the same time before looking at each other.

"No chance." They both say at the same time before they start laughing.

Robbe looks at him out of the corner of his eye but shakes his head, there is no way that Sander offers him the same. And now Robbe is even more looking forward to tomorrow morning, when Sander will discover his gift.


	59. Merry Christmas, my beautiful love.

_Friday, December 25th 8:46 am_

''Merry Christmas, my beautiful love.''

Robbe opens his eyes yawning and looks at Sander who looks at him, perfectly awake.

''I went to see and there are lots of presents under our Christmas cactus. I can't wait. All that's missing is you, my sleeping baby."

Robbe laughs at Sander's impatience and pulls him towards him to kiss him.

''A merry Christmas has to start with a kiss.''

Sander nods and kisses him several times quickly on the lips.

''Every day of my life should start with a kiss from you.'' Says Sander with a smile.

Robbe smiles, hugging Sander.

''That will be the case, I promise.''

Sander nods and kisses his neck before looking at the time.

''Hurry, your present is coming. Santa Claus makes a special delivery for you this year.''

Robbe frowns but doesn't have time to ask a question, that Sander has already disappeared from the bedroom. So he rushes out of bed, puts on jogging pants and a t-shirt before he joins Sander and his mother in the living room.

''Merry Christmas Mom."

His mother smiles at him, almost starting to laugh.

''He's going to be merry, that's for sure.''

Robbe doesn't have time to ask a question and Sander hands him a gift package.

''Merry Christmas, Robin.''

Robbe takes the gift and grabs the one he prepared for Sander. It is a very small square gift and Sander frowns as he takes it in his hands. The face he takes will make Robbe die laughing if it wasn't so cute.

"Open them all at the same time'' says his mother as she looks at them ''I'm taking you in picture.''

Robbe undoes the gift wrap around a rectangular box, looking like a box containing a necklace, or a bracelet, while Sander holds the velvet box that was in his package, looking half panicked, half happy.

"Relax, Sander, it's not what you think it is, it's even better.''

Sander frowns even more and opens the box. His mother takes the picture when he discovers the small flash-shaped plaque with the engraving ''Bowie''. Sander's puzzled face is really worth all the gold in the world.

"Robbe, open yours!'' says his mother.

Robbe opens the box, sure it's a bracelet because it looks like one, and Sander knows he will not remove his angel from around his neck, but when he opens the box, a necklace is waiting for him inside. Not a necklace with a nice silver or gold chain, a necklace made of cloth that hangs around the neck of an animal.

Robbe opens his eyes and shakes his head when the realization is done in his head.

''Do you want us to adopt an animal?''.

Sander smiles and shakes his head.

''No, I''.

The house bell rings and Sander rushes to the door. A Santa Claus stands in front of their door, wearing a pretty red mask over his false beard, so Robbe must really be squinting to try to recognize who is under that disguise, and he smiles when he recognizes Adam.

Santa Claus slips his hand into his pocket and takes out a tiny ball of fur which he puts in Robbe's hands wishing him a Merry Christmas and Robbe immediately loses his smile, holding a hand to his forehead. As soon as he looks at the beautiful tricolor kitten in the hollow of his arm, he feels like screaming with joy and as soon as he looks at Sander, he feels like crying.

''Robbe? I thought you always wanted a cat? He's only five months old, he was all alone and sad in a shelter, I thought you would like it."

Robbe doesn't know whether to laugh or cry because at the same time his father's car is parked in front of their house.

''I thought you hated cats, Sander, because they are too independent and think of themselves first. I thought you liked dogs because they are always full of life and loyal, and you''

Sander seems to realize what Robbe is telling him and looks at the medal he still holds in his hand and then Robbe's father getting out of his car.

''No!''

Robbe nods, almost with tears in his eyes.

''Yes!''

His father opens the back door and comes towards Sander a tiny puppy in his arms. Robbe has already seen him the day before yesterday when he picked him up at the shelter before taking him to his father's house but he looks even smaller now that he's in his dad's arms.

''A dog? Did you buy me a dog?"

Sander takes the puppy in his arms, tears shining out of the corners of his eyes, exactly as Robbe predicted.

''He's too beautiful, he looks like the dog in Men In Black. I love him."

Adam starts laughing and greets them before leaving, laughing on his bike. 

''Hey, wait, we can't keep him.'' Says Robbe in a very small voice, caressing the sleeping kitten against him.

Sander looks at him immediately, frowning.

''Why can't we, baby? It's your present."

Robbe looks at the cat and shrugs his shoulders.

"We cannot have a cat and a dog. I'm sure Bowie's gonna eat him."

Sander shakes his head and lifts the puppy above his face.

"Bowie wouldn't do that, right my dog? They're going to be the best friends in the world. And this cute kitten is a female by the way. Look, he's not going to hurt her. They will become inseparable brother and sister. Congratulations daddy, they are twins."

Robbe takes a gigantic smile, hugging the kitten against him before hugging Sander.

''Thank you my love, I'm so happy. She's so cute."

Robbe looks at the kitten again.

''I have a cat! We have a cat! and a dog! I can't believe it.''

''A beautiful menagerie.'' says his mother laughing ''If you knew how hard it was to keep me from telling you that you had almost the same idea. You knew how to take care of a baby, I know you can do it with these two. Come on, come inside, get warm, come have a coffee. You too, Daniel of course.''

It's December 25, 2020, a pandemic is hitting all the continents of the planet and in a small house in Antwerp, Robbe and Sander watch a tricolored kitten and a beige pug get acquainted while Robbe's parents chat over coffee, something that hasn't happened for centuries. And it all seems just unreal.

''All that's missing is snow and this Christmas will definitely be a dream. Please tell me I'm not dreaming."

Sander pinches his ribs, makes Robbe scream out surprise more than pain. His parents look at him before laughing and his mother smiles as she looks at her ex-husband .

''Don't worry, they do that a lot.''

His father looks at them and then smiles.

''Why do you have a cactus like a Christmas tree?''

Robbe's parents start talking again and Sander pulls Robbe in his arms.

''It's the best Christmas of my life, too. You were right, you really are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me."

The puppy barks because the kitten tries to bite his tail and Sander bursts out laughing and takes him on his lap.

"All right, Bowie does too, that's true. You, and the real one. But Robbe is still the best possible thing."

Robbe takes the little kitten on his lap and she starts purring while sucking her tail.

''The guy at the shelter said she was doing this because she was abandoned by her mother. She's kind of comforting herself."

Robbe caresses the kitten and smiles tenderly. He wanted a cat for years, but his father is allergic to it, and then when his father left home, Robbe had no mind at all to take care of anyone but himself and his mother. But now he has a cat. They have a cat. And a dog.

''You'll see, Iggy, we'll give you so much love that you won't need this anymore.''

Sander smiles and strokes the kitten's head before looking at Robbe.

''Really?''

Robbe nods with a smile, stroking the head of the pug already asleep on Sander's lap.

''You said they would be best friends, right?''

Sander nods and starts laughing as he touches the medal hanging around the puppy's collar.

''You know that I thought it was a collar for me.''

Robbe starts laughing and bends over to kiss him.

''I know, silly. But I told you it would be something big."

Sander shrugs his shoulders and looks at the puppy.

''He's quite small, he fits in a pocket.''

Robbe laughs and moves closer so he can kiss him properly, hearing his parents talking quietly in the background.

"There's no doubt about it, this is the best Christmas of my life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, they say not to offer animals, but these two will take really good care of them, I promise. 
> 
> If you're wondering why a pug? Just because I love that kind of dog! 
> 
> See you tomorrow for the conclusion of this fic...


	60. It's not the end

_Saturday, December 26th, 10:36am_

''You know it doesn't matter if we don't take it all away now, right? We're not even ten minutes from here."

Robbe nods, but still puts a few things in his suitcase.

''I want our closet to be full, I want to feel like home.''

Sander stops him and huddles behind his back.

''It's not just a feeling, baby, it's real. No matter what's in our closet, we'll be home."

Robbe nods and turns around to kiss him.

"Okay," says Sander as he walks away, "I'll put the Bowie clock in our living room like you said."

Robbe helps Sander to unhook the clock that he gave Sander for their birthday and gives it to him before he pulls two skate board out from under his bed.

''Since the lockdown is still in effect, I only take two, but I'll come back for the others as soon as I can get back to the skate park.''

"One board is not enough?" Sander asks, raising an eyebrow.

"One Bowie CD is not enough?" Robbe asks in the same tone.

Sander starts laughing and sighs.

"I can't wait to go in my parent's house for get my CDs back."

"And to see your parents, too?" 

Sander shrugs his shoulders but Robbe knows he can't wait to see them in real.

''Yeah, I even miss the twins. And yet I know they'll piss me off as soon as I see them for five minutes."

Robbe looks at his bedroom, which is an incredible mess, and smiles. The bed is completely dismantled, ready to go, as well as his desk and their two suitcases are ready. His father has rented a truck to help them and he should be here any minute.

''Do you want to take your cuddly toy with you?''

Robbe immediately loses his smile as he looks at the old teddy bear that Sander is waving across the room.

''It hasn't been my teddy bear for a long time. You are my cuddly toy."

Sander rests the bear on a shelf and picks up a few things and puts them in the box in front of him. Robbe makes a special cardboard box with all their sex toys and folds a fleece blanket that he puts over it in case someone opens it, even though it's not supposed to happen. He goes to the shelf, picks up the teddy bear and puts it in the box before closing it. Sander giggles but says nothing and Robbe shows him his middle finger.

''It's just a souvenir.''

Sander raises his hands as a sign of surrender before closing the box.

"I didn't say anything, babe. You're so cute."

"Guys? Are you ready?"

Robbe greets his father who is at the other end of the hallway and half an hour later they've loaded everything into the van. 

"I think we're ready." says Sander, stroking Robbe's shoulder ''Now all we have to do is put our babies in a box and we're ready to go.''

Robbe shakes his head and crosses the hallway to go to the guest room. They search for ten minutes before finding the kitten hidden behind the desk. 

''Come on Iggy, we're going home.''

Robbe puts the little cat in a plastic crate, thinking that they will have to buy a transport cage very soon. He puts it on the front of the van and smiles as he watches Sander trying to get Bowie on a leash before carrying him.

"I think he's afraid of the harness. It's okay, Bowie, we're going home, the four of us."

Robbe looks at his mother who is standing against the front door and comes back to give her a hug.

''Call me when you need me, okay? I'll be here in less than ten minutes."

His mother strokes her cheek and smiles, but Robbe can see the tears threatening to escape.

''I'm really happy, Robbe. Don't worry, Olie's coming tomorrow, I'll be fine. I'll come and see your new house soon, okay? Settle in, enjoy being together and don't worry about me, I'm fine."

Robbe hugs her again before he joins Sander.

''Thank you again for everything, Nathalie. See you on Monday."

Robbe frowns slightly and that makes Sander smile.

''I invited your mother to come on Monday. It's not the end, Robbe, it's just the beginning."

Robbe smiles as he climbs next to Sander in the van, taking Bowie on his lap while Sander strokes their kitten. 

Sander is right : _Every ending is the beginning of a new beginning._  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to everyone who followed this story with me. Without all your comments it would never have lasted so long. And if you think you're going to miss my updates, remember that the end of something is always the beginning of something else... So I'll see you soon?


End file.
